Afraid of eating in front of people. Am I the only one?
fangmouse
Posts: 119
I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
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Replies
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First off I don't tell people that I'm dieting, which avoids many of the comments.
But just practice smiling and ignoring it. Just say 'It's delicious, would you like a taste?' and not respond to comments about how many calories are in things. If they persist after you ignore it, say something like 'oh I thought you were joking, it's kinda rude to tell me what to eat'.0 -
Just an add on to my post: Sometimes, I get so scared that I even hide in the toilet or in my room to eat. And when I say eat, I mean eating healthy portions of food, not like how a binge eater would do it, hiding and eating a bunch of food at one go. I simply take the food that I plan to eat to my room and hide and eat it.0
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I have an obese friend like this - doesn't want to be seen eating "there's that fatty stuffing herself" is the dialogue in her head.
It's probably the only place it exists, so some form of counselling or hypnotherapy might be called for.0 -
I know exactly what you mean. I feel like people will judge me.
Worse still, I feel like I deserve to be judged.0 -
I know exactly what you mean. I feel like people will judge me.
Worse still, I feel like I deserve to be judged.
OP, there are some things I want you to think about:
1. You are invisible to most people, who are typically too busy thinking about their own lives (and what they themselves are eating) to spend more than a passing thought, if that, on you. I'm not saying this to be harsh, but to reassure you: you are just not that important to the general populace. Take comfort in that.
2. If they do spare a moment to judge you, what they actually think says more about them than you. You never know, they might be thinking, "good for them, i wish I had the willpower to start losing weight". It's a sad fact of life that there could be one person in any crowd who's a bit of a pr@ck; are you really willing to give that person the power over you to make you live your life in fear, especially if that person is a figment of your imagination?
3. I would ask you if you worry about this because YOU judge people for what they eat? If not, why would you think other people do it to you? However, if you do, then you are likely projecting your own behaviours onto the people around you.
4. Even if you've had a bad experience where someone has said something to you, I promise you it's the exception rather than the rule.
Life is not high school. Stop living your life based on what the mean kids might say about you. The mean kids are the ones with the attitude problem, not you. If, like expoduck, you believe you deserve to be judged, then please talk to a pro, because YOU ARE WRONG. Keep eating healthy and never be ashamed of taking control over your life.0 -
I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
Never tell people you are losing weight, just continue what you are doing and ignore them. It sounds to me as if it is THEY that are obsessed with calories and diets, not you.
I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied
"I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.
People who continually comment are usually those that have never tried to lose weight or do not understand nutrition at all.
In answer to your question, no, I am not afraid of eating in front of people any more than I would expect them to be scared of eating in front of me xxx0 -
I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied
"I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.
This is why you are on my friends list :laugh:0 -
This isn't normal behaviour. I would suggest speaking to someone about this.0
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It's a form of social anxiety. I also suggest you talk to someone about this, because it's complicating to your life if you can't eat in front of other people.0
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Before I used to think about everyone else and what they thought of me but now I only lift weights and eat better so that I can love myself.After all it is my body and I don't want to get bogged down by spiteful people.0
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Gosh I wish I was scared of eating in front of people... Maybe then I wouldn't eat so much o.O0
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Completely agree with this. I think most people are judging themselves, more than others are judging them. If others are judging you, they are probably going to be judging anything and everything, whether you are fat/thin or eating a salad or dessert. So don't let it bother you and if you find that it is so much of a problem that you want to hide, I agree therapy might be a good idea.I have an obese friend like this - doesn't want to be seen eating "there's that fatty stuffing herself" is the dialogue in her head.
It's probably the only place it exists, so some form of counselling or hypnotherapy might be called for.
Is there something you can do to make yourself not think about this? Maybe going to lunch with a friend or taking walks outside to clear your head. IDK.0 -
I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
Never tell people you are losing weight, just continue what you are doing and ignore them. It sounds to me as if it is THEY that are obsessed with calories and diets, not you.
I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied
"I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.
People who continually comment are usually those that have never tried to lose weight or do not understand nutrition at all.
In answer to your question, no, I am not afraid of eating in front of people any more than I would expect them to be scared of eating in front of me xxx
this is great. good for you- and spot on about people not having to have struggled with it. (Note- I love people who tell me "oh I thought you were cutting- why are you eating X, Y, Z?" sigh- you don't know anything do you.
I also tell people... I'm not asking you to eat it- or go on a diet with me- so why do you care so much.
Really- the thoughts other people think are fleeting at best when they happen.
I'll be completely candid and honest- The ONLY time I truly think anything along those lines (and I have) is when I see really over weight people- eating a crap load of food- usually at like IHOP or denny's or cracker barrel or any buffet type place. That's the only time I think it- when I see THREE days worth of my food- on ONE plate of theirs... then I think daayum.
And it's not often and it's very fleeting- but that's it. Otherwise- I don't give a crap what you eat- as noted YOU STILL HAVE TO EAT.
I mostly just care about my food and my coffee- and my companion- friend or bf whatever.0 -
I try not to care what people think of me (unless its good of course). I'm not sure what I would do if someone actually said something to me. Probably "I don't criticize what you eat, do I? *pointed stare*"
ETA: Your progress will speak for itself. Just stick with it!0 -
I eat infront of people but I really don't like it because I have a fear of food getting stuck to my face then poeple say'' you have.... on your face still'' or if its stuck in my teeth lol Plus I don't know if I eat weird or not.0
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I find that I'm afraid of eating in front of people, because I'm afraid of them judging me for what I ate. For example, if I ate a salad they would say all those annoying things like "lol are you trying to lose weight?" and all that, and I am afraid to eat desserts in front of people because I'm afraid that they might say, "I thought you were on a diet?" or "I thought you just ate?" or "well I don't think you need those extra calories from the cake".
Like, how do you guys deal with this fear? Or am I the only person facing this?
I remember a while back, a person commented to me when I got a sandwich out of the work vending machine "I thought you were on a diet" to which I replied
"I am, but I still have to eat FFS" - it shut them up.
This is why you are on my friends list :laugh:
hahaha :drinker:0 -
The way I see it there are 3 kinds of business, and if you are in somebody else's you are neglecting your own.
There is your business ... The stuff you can influence directly ...your actions, your decisions, your spontaneous thinking and how you react to those thoughts.
There is their business ... What somebody else does/thinks, you have no influence on it. No point in trying to control it.
There is the universe/God/whoever's business ... Stuff that just is. The world is in constant flux, we have no control of this either.
I prefer to live in my business, get it straight as I see it and let everyone else do/think what they may.0 -
The way I see it there are 3 kinds of business, and if you are in somebody else's you are neglecting your own.
There is your business ... The stuff you can influence directly ...your actions, your decisions, your spontaneous thinking and how you react to those thoughts.
There is their business ... What somebody else does/thinks, you have no influence on it. No point in trying to control it.
There is the universe/God/whoever's business ... Stuff that just is. The world is in constant flux, we have no control of this either.
I prefer to live in my business, get it straight as I see it and let everyone else do/think what they may.0 -
This isn't normal behaviour. I would suggest speaking to someone about this.
YEP0 -
My ex-bf used to be like this - you certainly aren't alone. He went to see someone professional about it and it took time but he's much better now than he used to be! Don't worry, and don't let it make you feel isolated - there is always someone you can find to help!
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I was the same way when I was younger - I would not eat in public, at school or in front of my friends. This lead me to an eating disorder because not was I afraid of how people would judge me I started judging myself.
You have to remember that everyone around you is eating & really they just don't care about what you are eating they just don't that everyone eats - it's normal!0 -
I feel like that in front of people who I know cant keep comments to themselves. Luckily my close friends never comment on my food choices, maybe because they also know I have IBS so have learnt that its probably to do with that...and they dont want to spark a convo up about the ****s!!0
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I had this anxiety as a child because my extended family enjoyed picking on what I ate and how I ate it. I like to disassemble my food as I eat it. My maternal grandmother loved to loudly point out everything I ate or didn't eat to everyone. I remember(at 8 y/o) grabbing a chicken leg to eat and she followed me around asking if I wanted mashed potatoes and gravy until I ran out of the house and locked myself in my mom's car to eat in peace.
Now, I know that people will think whatever they want about my eating habits and judge me for them. If they start teasing me about it, I judge them about theirs. I don't care about being polite when I feel someone is being a butt to me. I give what I get.0 -
My husband has a bit of a phobia about eating in front of other people. He's gotten better over the years but it's still there. I think that many people have this issue so you are not alone.0
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Are you afraid of being judged by people for other things too? If you are, then you should work on your self confidence. Other people will judge you for pretty much everything throughout your life, so you need to accept that and know that you are confident in your actions and if they have a problem with it, well that's their problem.
If it's just eating in front of people that you're afraid of, then that could be a symptom of an unhealthy relationship with food. Food is not bad. Eating food is not bad. Even eating food that isn't good for you isn't bad. It's unhealthy relationship with food and overeating consistently that is bad for you. If you are eating what's good for you, in quantities that are reasonable for your lifestyle, then you have nothing to feel bad about. If people judge you for it, that is their problem, like I said before.0 -
I always liked Eleanor Roosevelt's quote "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent"
Also, I don't know who came up with it originally, but I also like "What you think of me is none of my business"0 -
I am afraid to eat in front of people too.....but that's due to my table manners and not anything else :ohwell:0
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Do what makes you feel good about yourself. I could careless what anybody thinks or says. Look in the mirror and be Happy with you!0
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just pig out
and do a few burps and farts
it will all pass.0 -
Sometimes, I get so scared that I even hide in the toilet or in my room to eat. And when I say eat, I mean eating healthy portions of food, not like how a binge eater would do it, hiding and eating a bunch of food at one go. I simply take the food that I plan to eat to my room and hide and eat it.
Hmmm... if people talking about you is what you want to avoid, this kind of behaviour is more likely going to encourage it.
I pay zero attention what my colleagues have at their desk for lunch, however if I heard someone munching in the loo next to me I would find that rather strange. :huh:0
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