Question re weight loss surgery and attitudes...

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Pangea250
Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I was at a barbeque last week at a friend's house. While chatting away with a few people I just met, one of the women mentioned she had lost 76 lbs. I congratulated her and told her that she had lost an amazing amount of weight, and she looked great for it and must feel awesome too. I told her it was quite a coincidence to meet, because I have lost that same exact number of lbs. Yay for us! I asked her how she did it and she told me she had weight loss surgery a year ago. Another woman told us that she had surgery several years ago, lost weight but had gained it all back in the ensuing years.

Within a few minutes, both women moved away from me to the other side of the table and began their own conversation. I could hear they were definitely talking about losing weight. I just found it odd that they didn't include me. Did they think I would look down on them? That I wouldn't understand or want to hear about their unique journeys?

I want to hear about anyone's experiences with weight loss. I just wish they would have let me benefit from their experience.
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Replies

  • Birder150
    Birder150 Posts: 677 Member
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    Without asking them, you'll never know why they walked off and we can only assume what the reasons are. :flowerforyou:
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
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    some people dont have the same wonderful thoughts as you. for instance, myself. yeah i know its a tool, but a tool that their stomach is smaller. my roomate is having it done in two months, to this day shes still eating whatever and however much she wants. but for me, doing it without surgery, the tool is in my head. i dont have the tool of not being able to put the food in my body, my tool has to be in my head. i have to choose to not put the food in my body. thats just my opinion, which im entitled to have especially since my roomate is going through it right now. she says she cant wait to lose the weight yet still stuffs her face with alot of unhealthy calories.
  • twinsmake3
    twinsmake3 Posts: 35 Member
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    Perhaps they just wanted to talk about specific experiences of the surgery. I wouldn't take it personally.
  • MyOwnSunshine
    MyOwnSunshine Posts: 1,312 Member
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    I was at a barbeque last week at a friend's house. While chatting away with a few people I just met, one of the women mentioned she had lost 76 lbs. I congratulated her and told her that she had lost an amazing amount of weight, and she looked great for it and must feel awesome too. I told her it was quite a coincidence to meet, because I have lost that same exact number of lbs. Yay for us! I asked her how she did it and she told me she had weight loss surgery a year ago. Another woman told us that she had surgery several years ago, lost weight but had gained it all back in the ensuing years.

    Within a few minutes, both women moved away from me to the other side of the table and began their own conversation. I could hear they were definitely talking about losing weight. I just found it odd that they didn't include me. Did they think I would look down on them? That I wouldn't understand or want to hear about their unique journeys?

    I want to hear about anyone's experiences with weight loss. I just wish they would have let me benefit from their experience.

    Have you ever read the opinions posted here by people who have not had WLS? That's why.
  • SkinnyFatAlbert
    SkinnyFatAlbert Posts: 482 Member
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    It may be just a case of them having a more common experience rather than them thinking negatively that you'd look down on them.
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Well, I think since they both had the surgery was something they had in common and could talk about the specifics of that way of losing weight. There are a lot of things they would both have experienced that you would not have, losing weight in a more conventional way. I wouldn't take it personally. I don't think that they would be thinking you would look down on them, but that you did not have the same experience in common.
  • temptech
    temptech Posts: 17 Member
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    Some people dont consider having weight loss surgery to be a legitimate way to lose weight. Some people think its cheating.
    Having had the vertical sleeve done in January 2012, I know from experience that its not as easy as one thinks. The ladies may have assumed (wrong on their part) that you would feel the same. Again from experience, its rather disheartening to have your
    weight loss dismissed because you "cheated" to get there. They should have included you, it sounds like you would have really appreciated their take on the subject.

    Rhonda
  • Pangea250
    Pangea250 Posts: 965 Member
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    Have you ever read the opinions posted here by people who have not had WLS? That's why.
    No, I haven't. But I can imagine. That's my answer right there, huh?
  • tmauck4472
    tmauck4472 Posts: 1,783 Member
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    Having the surgery was their common bond. You should have followed them and told them you were interested in their stories and even though you didn't have surgery.
  • SailorKnightWing
    SailorKnightWing Posts: 875 Member
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    When I talk to people about comic books, I tend to veer off and talk to people who read Fables like I do rather than people who read Superman, which I don't read. It's just a more specified topic.
  • Phildog47
    Phildog47 Posts: 255 Member
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    Congratulations, you met two bit**es! :laugh:

    Now go be your awesome self and take on the day! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
  • MzPix
    MzPix Posts: 177 Member
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    Did you wear deodorant to the barbeque? :laugh:

    (Maybe their walking away had absolutely nothing to do with weight loss surgery at all.)
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    Have you ever read the opinions posted here by people who have not had WLS? That's why.
    No, I haven't. But I can imagine. That's my answer right there, huh?

    A lot of this. I have lost 68 lbs and I am scheduled for VSG surgery in a few weeks. People ask me how I have lost weight so far and when I tell them I eat right and exercise, I can see exactly when I start losing them. They don't want to hear that it takes some work. Then, when they find out I am having surgery, I get all sorts of comments from "that's a cop-out" to "you don't need to do that", "it's dangerous", etc. So, I can almost see why those women kept their conversation between them. There is often a lot of judgment and misunderstanding directed at people who have had WLS.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
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    Have you ever read the opinions posted here by people who have not had WLS? That's why.
    No, I haven't. But I can imagine. That's my answer right there, huh?

    EXACTLY this. it's kind of a shame actually.
  • jimshine
    jimshine Posts: 199 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with the surgery. The problem is though there is an attempt to educate the people on how to rethink their eating habits, it often tends to not sink in. If someone gets this surgery and doesn't understand the mechanics behind it all, they likely will keep eating like they did and eventually stretch their stomach in the future. Some do "get it" and the surgery is a long term success, but often it isn't. The way we do it here is really no different. Some people want to lose the weight and think they can go back to eating whatever they want once they are small (because they know a skinny person that seemingly can do it). But no, the only way to make the change stick is to carry these lessons of eating through the rest of our lives.
  • garber6th
    garber6th Posts: 1,894 Member
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    There is nothing wrong with the surgery. The problem is though there is an attempt to educate the people on how to rethink their eating habits, it often tends to not sink in. If someone gets this surgery and doesn't understand the mechanics behind it all, they likely will keep eating like they did and eventually stretch their stomach in the future. Some do "get it" and the surgery is a long term success, but often it isn't. The way we do it here is really no different. Some people want to lose the weight and think they can go back to eating whatever they want once they are small (because they know a skinny person that seemingly can do it). But no, the only way to make the change stick is to carry these lessons of eating through the rest of our lives.

    I agree with you! I think of the surgery as a tool, but I had to learn to make lifestyle changes months ago because I know if I can't get it right at this point, the surgery won't help.
  • Jessica791
    Jessica791 Posts: 1
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    I was always against surgery. I think there are other possibilities to lose weight. I also had extra pounds but I worked out hard. First of all I found Fat Loss Program here: http://fatlossfactorsreviews.com/ and tried to follow all the pieces of advice. I went to the gym, kept a diet, ate healthy food. I avoided eating junk food and have a regime of eating. These tips helped me to lose weight and the surgery was unimportant.
  • dma15
    dma15 Posts: 6
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    Have you ever read the opinions posted here by people who have not had WLS? That's why.
    No, I haven't. But I can imagine. That's my answer right there, huh?
    exactly there is your answer right there what people think about WLS and what is actual fact is often worlds apart people have a pre conceived opinion that is not at all based on fact at all and they have never known anyone to have it. :)
  • padams2359
    padams2359 Posts: 1,093 Member
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    Below is a quote posted yesterday by a friend of mine. A little background, the post is from the patient's wife that I have known since birth. We were born in the same hospital, on the same day, at the same time, and our mother's stayed in the same room. We went to school together from kindergarten through college. The guy she married also graduated with us, but only knew him since we were about 10. He had gastric bypass about 6 years ago, and developed complication, and is the same size he was before he had the surgery. He has been in ICU for two weeks so far, and woke up a couple of days ago, and the ventilator was removed.

    "We crossed another hurdle-tube feeding was stopped. He is now on a liquid diet. The port for dialysis stopped working. They will do a small procedure to put a more permanent port in his chest early in the morning. I was able to see firsthand how weak he is. Physical therapy came work with him. He had trouble moving his feet back and forth and bending his legs. It took 3 people to hold him in a sitting position for 6 minutes-he couldn't do it by himself! It will take awhile to do the simple things again, but at least I still have him with me!"

    I was never a fan of this surgery, what do you think now?
  • kitticus15
    kitticus15 Posts: 152 Member
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    Below is a quote posted yesterday by a friend of mine. A little background, the post is from the patient's wife that I have known since birth. We were born in the same hospital, on the same day, at the same time, and our mother's stayed in the same room. We went to school together from kindergarten through college. The guy she married also graduated with us, but only knew him since we were about 10. He had gastric bypass about 6 years ago, and developed complication, and is the same size he was before he had the surgery. He has been in ICU for two weeks so far, and woke up a couple of days ago, and the ventilator was removed.

    "We crossed another hurdle-tube feeding was stopped. He is now on a liquid diet. The port for dialysis stopped working. They will do a small procedure to put a more permanent port in his chest early in the morning. I was able to see firsthand how weak he is. Physical therapy came work with him. He had trouble moving his feet back and forth and bending his legs. It took 3 people to hold him in a sitting position for 6 minutes-he couldn't do it by himself! It will take awhile to do the simple things again, but at least I still have him with me!"

    I was never a fan of this surgery, what do you think now?


    I have dithered and thought about having the surgery, I was going to talk to my GP and ask about costs so I could save, I was hoping by the time I saved I would have lost a fair bit of weight, but now after reading this, I think I will save up, but instead of surgery, treat myself to a few luxurious days away, I am not going to risk my life to something that is not guaranteed to work and could cause me to be a burden to my children.

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