if a Father called his Daughter Fat in Public?

Options
cstoney2013
cstoney2013 Posts: 167 Member
in Chit-Chat
Would that make a difference? I am obviously writing this tongue and cheek, but I have two kids of my own (teenagers) and they are...sensitive to us parents talking to them in the front yard because the nieghbors, 200 feet away might hear them.... I try to councel my kids in private but I can picture myself asking my daughter in line at the donut shop, "do you really need two chocolate glazed donuts" oops!

Replies

  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Options
    tumblr_lceq8vqQeG1qa9g0zo1_500.gif

    careful or you may have to wear one of these in your next life. :flowerforyou:
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Options
    tumblr_lceq8vqQeG1qa9g0zo1_500.gif

    careful or you may have to wear one of these in your next life. :flowerforyou:

    :laugh:
  • sarahkatara
    sarahkatara Posts: 826 Member
    Options
    This is a quick and surefire way to kick start an eating disorder. Keep in mind that binge eating and/or food addiction is an eating disorder too.
  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Options
    Encourage healthy behaviour, but don't shame people.
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Options
    I got food shamed when I was younger and stayed fat, take from that what you want

    I didn't get food shamed as a child and stayed fat. It goes both ways. I wish my mother had told me no once in a while.
  • Lovesthings
    Lovesthings Posts: 167 Member
    Options
    Unfortunately, I feel your pain.. on one hand, I remember my dad jokingly telling my sister she was 'chubby' & the spiral of starvation that followed... that being said, I have an 11 yr old that I am biting my tongue with. I just want her to make better choices..

    I guess just be careful.. because kidding in your mind is serious to them. You know they only hear what they can use against you :)
  • cstoney2013
    cstoney2013 Posts: 167 Member
    Options
    I can relate to the humiliation...two years ago when I was about 300 pounds my kids used to yell "Hey Fatso" at the store and if I looked they would laugh!! But it helped push me to lose weight, so It is what it is.... by they way , they still do that.....just to keep me on my toes everynow and then...
  • EDesq
    EDesq Posts: 1,527 Member
    Options
    Would that make a difference? I am obviously writing this tongue and cheek, but I have two kids of my own (teenagers) and they are...sensitive to us parents talking to them in the front yard because the nieghbors, 200 feet away might hear them.... I try to councel my kids in private but I can picture myself asking my daughter in line at the donut shop, "do you really need two chocolate glazed donuts" oops!

    Tongue In Cheek... What if your daughter said loudly (true or not) in public, "Dad, do you REALLY need that beer after last week when you got so drunk that Mom had to drag you up stairs to bed". Basically, why would a "parent" say anything - any where to Embarrass or DEMEAN their kids. If a kid can not Trust and Rely on a Parent for support and SAFETY why have kids.

    BUT THIS IS A SHAME based Society and many Ignorant people (including Parents) actually believe that they can Shame and Bully someone into Doing what THEY want or believe. TRUST Me, your kid will NEVER forget that and they will learn Not to Trust you.


    ETA: The Scripture says, "Raise up a Child as you would have them to go, and when the get OLD they will not depart from it". How have YOU raised up your kid(s)...What to eat; How to Respect You and Others; How to demean others to try and get their way???
  • Cp731
    Cp731 Posts: 3,195 Member
    Options
    I can relate to the humiliation...two years ago when I was about 300 pounds my kids used to yell "Hey Fatso" at the store and if I looked they would laugh!! But it helped push me to lose weight, so It is what it is.... by they way , they still do that.....just to keep me on my toes everynow and then...

    lol that's funny im sorry but kids are crazy..i could picture this happening
  • becsnz1
    becsnz1 Posts: 85 Member
    Options
    It's hard to know. From my own experience, I was always the fat kid. However my parents never said anything degrading to me however I lived with (and boy did I suffer from) an eating disorder for 15 years. Was interesting to note when I discussed my past with a psychologist that it began when I was 10 years old. For me to be able to have my ears pierced, I had to lose 5kg. It wasn't said in a derogatory manner at all, more so concern from my mum. But I have never ever forgotten that and as the psychologist pointed out to me that was the true start of disordered eating for me.

    Words are so powerful!
  • BeachIron
    BeachIron Posts: 6,490 Member
    Options
    You don't have to call your kid "fat" to tell her to put down the candy and make better choices.

    You don't have to call your kid "stupid" to get him to do his homework.

    You don't have to call your kid a "slob" to get her to clean her room.

    You don't have to call your kid "lazy" to get him to go to his sports class.

    And, conversely,

    Telling your kid to put down the candy does not mean that you just called him "fat."

    Telling your kid to do her homework does not mean that you just called her "stupid,"

    Telling your kid to clean up his room does not mean that you just called him a "slob."

    Telling your kid that she needs to go to her sports class does not mean that you just called her "lazy."

    But . . .

    According to the MFP forums, it often does.

    Lesson?

    Don't take parenting advice from the MFP forums.
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
    Options
    Difference between parent and child… Adult who is rational, child who is learning and impressionable.

    Do not parent by shaming. Just say "no" to two donuts if you're they one buying them. OR, don't let junk food be an option. End of debate.
  • WestCoastWild
    WestCoastWild Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    According to my research, they will end up stripping to superfreak in a children's beauty pagent.


    tumblr_m8lqphFINY1rnjjl4o1_500.gif
  • Firemansam79
    Firemansam79 Posts: 416 Member
    Options
    LEAD BY EXAMPLE!!!!
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    Options
    Tough love is good. May not sound good to outsiders, but if that's a family's culture, it's normal to them. I'm sure I say stuff to my kid in public that makes bystanders pissy, but I don't care.
  • CaitlinM77
    CaitlinM77 Posts: 16
    Options
    Seconding what an above poster said. It's one thing to say "That donut is full of saturated fat and sugar and while they taste good, it isn't a good choice for health. You're not getting a donut." and another to say "You're fat."

    Of course, the question is--

    why are you in the donut shop in the first place and would you be ok with someone saying that to you?
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    Options
    Would that make a difference? I am obviously writing this tongue and cheek, but I have two kids of my own (teenagers) and they are...sensitive to us parents talking to them in the front yard because the nieghbors, 200 feet away might hear them.... I try to councel my kids in private but I can picture myself asking my daughter in line at the donut shop, "do you really need two chocolate glazed donuts" oops!

    Tongue In Cheek... What if your daughter said loudly (true or not) in public, "Dad, do you REALLY need that beer after last week when you got so drunk that Mom had to drag you up stairs to bed". Basically, why would a "parent" say anything - any where to Embarrass or DEMEAN their kids. If a kid can not Trust and Rely on a Parent for support and SAFETY why have kids.

    BUT THIS IS A SHAME based Society and many Ignorant people (including Parents) actually believe that they can Shame and Bully someone into Doing what THEY want or believe. TRUST Me, your kid will NEVER forget that and they will learn Not to Trust you.


    ETA: The Scripture says, "Raise up a Child as you would have them to go, and when the get OLD they will not depart from it". How have YOU raised up your kid(s)...What to eat; How to Respect You and Others; How to demean others to try and get their way???

    I thought these posts were golden before but now that we got some bible quoting going on.... they're at a Whole NEW Level.

Categories