How do you stay on track?

Krohnie
Krohnie Posts: 286 Member
in Motivation and Support
I am struggling! I'm getting no where. I'm feeling lost and like I don't know how to do this and like I have habits I just can not break or break away from. My highest weight was 196, I'm 5'9" and 34 years old. I'm a mother of two, a wife, a business owner, an eye doctor, and I'm not who I want to see in the mirror. I really think I look smaller than I do. If I don't try on shirts, I will almost always buy a size to small and then be shocked at how big I am. I have been trying and trying to lose this baby weight. Even thou my babies are almost 7 and almost 5. I'm so sick of being the fattest person in my family. I weight about 3 pounds less than my husband. I've been watching my calories and been sporadic at tracking, but come on. How do you guys keep going? How do you decide what to do? I have done well with low carb but end up with no energy, and I gain all the weight back when I eat carbs again. I've started body revolution, I'm on day 13 and only have a gain to show for it. I just want to cry. I think that I should be nicer to myself but I don't want to tell myself that its ok that I look this way. I just don't know what to do. My hubby doesn't have any suggestions, he offers no help. I am just stuck. Any thoughts, ideas how to keep pushing forward? How to get through the bad dAys? Because there are a lot of them lately. Thanks

Actually, I turned 35 a few months ago, apparently I'm blocking that out.....

Replies

  • BobcatGirl110
    BobcatGirl110 Posts: 364 Member
    First let me say I'm not an expert and I'm still on my journey with about 11lbs left to lose....but that said....consider stopping the "diet" like low carb or others.....go out to http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/ and put in your stats and you will get a calorie count you can eat. Stay within that calorie count but eat real food....eat lean meats, fruits, veggies, good grain carbs and exercise. It will work if you eat less calories than you exercise off and you'll feel better :) You can do this and it will feel great to get a "hold" on it all. Seriously....you can do this just do it the right way :)
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Okay, first take a deep breath.

    Now, it took you a long time to get this way and it will take a long time for you to get out of it. Take one day at a time. Don't make changes you *cannot* or *WILL not* sustain for the rest of your life. There's no point - as you said, you give up carbs, lose weight then gain them back when you start eating them again.

    Sit down and make a list of reasons why you're on this path. I mean a REAL, honest list. And when you're done look at that list and decide if this is really enough for you, at this moment in time, to stay the course. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we get up and fall down several times before we get to where we want to be.

    Second, don't just "do" things you think you "should" for the sake of it being something you "should" do. Make a CHOICE. Own it. Decide what you think is healthy and sustainable and do that. Find exercises you like, better yet, LOVE to do and do those. Don't go run because you "hear" it's great for other people. Do it because you want to, not just for the caloric burn. If you find something you love to do, it won't seem so difficult.

    Also,I found wallpapering my life with notes, pictures and reminders helped. I'd write post-its with the reasons why I'm on the path all over the house: in the bedroom, in the bathroom on the mirror, on the fridge, in the pantry, etc. And pictures of my current self to remind me of where I'm starting and I'd also choose inspirational photos of where I want to be. It helps remind me of my goals.

    And lastly, plan for failure. Have a strategy. Don't punish yourself for days when you make one bad decision about one meal or day. It's just one day. How many other days have you been this way? It's okay. Find a strategy to battle it next time. Dust yourself off and get up again.

    Best of luck to you.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I have done well with low carb but end up with no energy, and I gain all the weight back when I eat carbs again.

    Then you have not done well with low carb.

    My advice is to stop with the specialized dieting and just eat at a deficit. Eat whatever you want, as long as you meet your calorie and macronutrient goals. Even carbs. As you can see from your dieting history, restricting entire groups of foods doesn't work.

    If you are really serious about this, go read all the threads linked here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

    Start with the nutrition-related threads (calories, macros, carbs, BMR, etc.). Once you get squared away on the food side of things, read the threads in the weight-lifting section. Resistance training is going to be your best bet as far as exercise is concerned.

    And finally, get used to the idea that your situation is not unique, you are not special, and there are no good excuses. Nobody has time, and it's hard for everyone. The people who succeed are the ones who do it anyway.
  • 4legsRbetterthan2
    4legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 19,590 MFP Moderator
    All good advice above, if you need support get some friends on here. Pick some that you will really stay in touch with and follow up with and pick them for good reasons. I have a few that are similar to me so i feel a connection with them, a few bodybuilder guys who I can ask lifting questions to, a few runners who inspire me when I don't feel like dragging my but out the door. Then make the effort to contact them regularly and they will do the same and you will have an awesome support group.
  • mmm_drop
    mmm_drop Posts: 1,126 Member
    For me, I have tried and failed many times in the past.

    This time is different for me because I decided I would just change my life. It started out slow, really slow actually. I think my first goal was to walk for 15 minutes at least times a week. I built from there making new small goals each week until it became a part of my life,

    Whenever I have a set back or start to feel like I should have lost more I look at where I came from and talk to my friends here, they really help me get my head back on straight.
  • ricki011
    ricki011 Posts: 89 Member
    Been there, AM there! Just work at it one day at a time. Raising a family and dealing with a husband is a lot of work and stress. I have 3 adult children and i saw the weight creep up 1-2 pounds a year. I finally realized i could not eat as much as my husband! He's 6'tall and i"m 5'tall and i was eating as much as he would! So, i worked on that. I just ate less than he eats at all meals. That was one little baby step. Then i got involved with a 4000 calorie workout challenge on MFP; that has helped me work out every day and kept me more focused on how much exercise i need and like.( Baby step no. 2) I also rediscovered Richard Simmons dancing to the 80's. love that man! he's fun and makes me smile while i dance when i want to add workout calories to my journal. I don't involve my husband in my weight loss journey. This is my journey and he's not going to sabotage it for me if he doesn't know my journey. (baby step no. 3) Not losing like i would like, but i'm trying and i have more energy and i'm now jogging 45 minutes twice a week. I'm really enjoying exercising and it adds to my daily net calorie goal too. Try a challenge on the MFP community, do something new; walk somewhere new and Please buy a top that fits! you'll feel better and it's o.k., you're working on it ONE DAY at time. Keep it up!
  • 2720cynthia
    2720cynthia Posts: 45 Member
    And finally, get used to the idea that your situation is not unique, you are not special, and there are no good excuses. Nobody has time, and it's hard for everyone. The people who succeed are the ones who do it anyway.

    Awesome!
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    Okay, first take a deep breath.

    Now, it took you a long time to get this way and it will take a long time for you to get out of it. Take one day at a time. Don't make changes you *cannot* or *WILL not* sustain for the rest of your life. There's no point - as you said, you give up carbs, lose weight then gain them back when you start eating them again.

    Sit down and make a list of reasons why you're on this path. I mean a REAL, honest list. And when you're done look at that list and decide if this is really enough for you, at this moment in time, to stay the course. Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes we get up and fall down several times before we get to where we want to be.

    Second, don't just "do" things you think you "should" for the sake of it being something you "should" do. Make a CHOICE. Own it. Decide what you think is healthy and sustainable and do that. Find exercises you like, better yet, LOVE to do and do those. Don't go run because you "hear" it's great for other people. Do it because you want to, not just for the caloric burn. If you find something you love to do, it won't seem so difficult.

    Also,I found wallpapering my life with notes, pictures and reminders helped. I'd write post-its with the reasons why I'm on the path all over the house: in the bedroom, in the bathroom on the mirror, on the fridge, in the pantry, etc. And pictures of my current self to remind me of where I'm starting and I'd also choose inspirational photos of where I want to be. It helps remind me of my goals.

    And lastly, plan for failure. Have a strategy. Don't punish yourself for days when you make one bad decision about one meal or day. It's just one day. How many other days have you been this way? It's okay. Find a strategy to battle it next time. Dust yourself off and get up again.

    Best of luck to you.

    This post saved me a lot of time because it's exactly what I was going to say. This is it in a nutshell. The post that mentioned scoobys workshop and the one that directs you to MFP important posts to read are also right on. You cannot continue what you've been doing because it's not working. You need to eat at a deficit, plain and simple. Reach out and make friends on here that are having success and talk to us, ask questions, vent when you're having a bad day, and celebrate with us when you've lost a pound.

    Feel free to add me as a friend. I started at 217 pounds about a year and a half ago and I've lost 50 pounds. I'm smaller than I was even in high school. I'm taking a slow and steady approach but I know that I can sustain it because it's just who I am now.
  • tram54
    tram54 Posts: 6
    As one who has had a weight problem most of his adult life, I can certainly relate. Coming here and trying MFP, however, has resulted in the greatest success I have ever experienced so far in trying to diet. I tried all the fads over the years, but this MFP approach to monitoring calories and exercise and eating a more 'balanced' combination of Protein, Carbs, and Fats has made me feel much better physically and I don't feel nearly as 'deprived' as I did on other diets because I get to eat things I used to cut out altogether - I just need to control the portion size and/or do some planning to keep the calorie count down. So, the fact that you are here I believe is the first step in the right direction. This is how I did things:

    First - I set up my profile with the starting weight, desired finishing weight, and wish to lose 1.5 lbs per week. I entered that I got little or no exercise. That set me up with a daily calorie goal of 1730 (granted I was at least 100 lbs overweight, so the calorie count is probably somewhat generous).

    Second - I set a DAILY goal of meeting/beating the calorie count. That is done by both what I choose to eat AND what exercise I manage to get in (which on some days is zero, but on days I can squeeze something in, I get to eat more or differently). I try not to focus on anything beyond today, or at max, this week (if I know I have a day coming where keeping the calorie count will be a challenge, I try to have some 'deficit' days ahead of time to 'bank some calories').

    Third - I spent like an entire day studying and researching the database of foods and exercise - finding all the foods I like and what exercises I can actually do. I was surprised to learn just how many foods I used to give up when dieting (thinking they were bad for a diet) that I really could still eat. I was also surprised to see how many calories got burned doing certain things vs. others. I even found fast-food choices I could have when I had to 'eat on the run' - which made things go smoothly when I went on vacation or on weekends. When it came to exercise - even things like house cleaning count! When I go to the store to do major shopping, I wear a pedometer to count the steps - and later I turn that into minutes of slow walking for the calorie burn.
    I have been on MFP now for almost 4 months and I have lost just over 40 lbs. A faster rate than I had planned! Granted I still have 60 lbs to go, but I feel great and I know I can do it!

    Hopefully this helps some. Feel free to friend me if you wish and you can look at my diary if that will help on food choices. Same goes for anyone who reads the post. Good luck!
  • 2720cynthia
    2720cynthia Posts: 45 Member

    Don't make changes you *cannot* or *WILL not* sustain for the rest of your life.

    Sit down and make a list of reasons why you're on this path. I mean a REAL, honest list. And when you're done look at that list and decide if this is really enough for you, at this moment in time, to stay the course. Sometimes it isn't.

    Second, don't just "do" things you think you "should" for the sake of it being something you "should" do. Make a CHOICE. Own it. Decide what you think is healthy and sustainable and do that. Find exercises you like, better yet, LOVE to do and do those. Don't go run because you "hear" it's great for other people. Do it because you want to, not just for the caloric burn. If you find something you love to do, it won't seem so difficult.

    And lastly, plan for failure. Have a strategy. Don't punish yourself for days when you make one bad decision about one meal or day. It's just one day. How many other days have you been this way? It's okay. Find a strategy to battle it next time. Dust yourself off and get up again.

    What a great summary--thank you.
  • Stacyschim
    Stacyschim Posts: 24 Member
    I think the key, for you and me both, is the "sporadic" tracking. When I'm faithfully tracking, things just fall into place. I might even add in an extra workout if I see I haven't left enough calories for dinner. It sounds like we're in the same boat right now, we're already friends on here, so let's help each other through this rough patch!!
  • sms670
    sms670 Posts: 4
    This:
    I have done well with low carb but end up with no energy, and I gain all the weight back when I eat carbs again.

    Then you have not done well with low carb.

    My advice is to stop with the specialized dieting and just eat at a deficit. Eat whatever you want, as long as you meet your calorie and macronutrient goals. Even carbs. As you can see from your dieting history, restricting entire groups of foods doesn't work.

    If you are really serious about this, go read all the threads linked here: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/833026-important-posts-to-read

    Start with the nutrition-related threads (calories, macros, carbs, BMR, etc.). Once you get squared away on the food side of things, read the threads in the weight-lifting section. Resistance training is going to be your best bet as far as exercise is concerned.

    And finally, get used to the idea that your situation is not unique, you are not special, and there are no good excuses. Nobody has time, and it's hard for everyone. The people who succeed are the ones who do it anyway.

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