A little worried :(

I've been working really hard the last two weeks to stay within my calorie goal and stick to my exercise program. I've done really well and I absolutely give myself credit for that. I decided not to weigh myself during that time because the numbers on the scale freak me out and I get obsessed. Well, I get obsessed anyway...weighing every little thing, counting every last calorie, thinking about food and my next work-out all day long. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting and I'm so wound up I feel like I could snap at any moment.

So I just had my weigh-in and I lost 1.5 pounds in the last two weeks. 1.5 tiny fricken little pounds. And I have 60 to go. I just don't know if I can keep this up much longer. I'm not starving or depriving myself by any means, but I can't seem to just relax and be normal about this. I'm at either one extreme or the other -- I either obsess about every little calorie or I just turn off my brain and eat everything in sight. I just want to have a NORMAL relationship with food!

Plus, looking at the numbers, if I ever do reach my goal weight, the number of calories I'll need to maintain is so small! I'm 5'3" and 47 years old, so that's about 1550 calories day with a moderate exercise routine. And that number will only get smaller as I get older, so by the time I'm 60 I'll only be able to eat about 1300 without gaining weight.

I dunno...I hate to whine, I really do, but it all seems so hopeless sometimes. :cry:

Replies

  • NonnyMary
    NonnyMary Posts: 982 Member
    Stress can be detrimental to our goals in many ways. From what I understand, stress can contribute to not losing weight, something to do with cortisol that your body releases during stress which prevents weight loss.
    You can do some research on that yourself and see if that is affecting you.

    In the meantime, keep eating at a calorie deficit and give it time. I dont know enough about you to know whats the matter, and neither am i a doctor, so maybe thats the first step - to get a checkup to make sure where you stand.

    Other than that, keep on logging in to MFP, making sure you are logging in your calories accurately, you may be eating more than you realize. Weigh and measure everything.
  • kaned_ferret
    kaned_ferret Posts: 618 Member
    That's the kind of rate of loss I'm getting.. I'm happy with it!
  • staticsplit
    staticsplit Posts: 538 Member
    I find the longer I do it, the more relaxed I get. It's been 3 weeks back on the "eat healthier" wagon, and the first two weeks I was obsessive, but now I'm a bit more lenient. I still eat within my calorie range, but I've gotten more used to it - my body's no longer expecting to get 500-800 more calories a day. Exercise is almost a habit now.

    Just give it more time. Also weight loss is weird. I've lost 3 pounds but today I was back at my starting weight, which was annoying. But logically I realise it has to just be retaining water.

    It's a lifestyle change. Once you get used to the new lifestyle, it won't be so scary. Also it's not a race. if you lose 1 pound a week or less, it's still a loss,. and it'll all add up. Maybe it'll take you a year to lose the weight. So what? You have the rest of your life :-)
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    1.5 pounds is great. I don't know why there is a problem.

    But if life is going to be too hard for you, you should probably quit everything. I mean its totally not worth it if its hard right?
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I have read several studies pointing to the possibility that stressing and over obsessing about weight loss can actually hinder progress. I have also found that when I just relax and stop over thinking things but still make healthy food choices and exercise regularly, I then lose more weight than usual. It's all about making it a lifestyle. Also, patience is key, but I understand how frustrating that can be. People tell me I have an enormous amount of patience, but it has definitely not come easy. I had to learn and practice it.
  • rbeckner711
    rbeckner711 Posts: 161 Member
    I would kill for those losses! You are halfway to goal. That is terrific! Please don't sabotage yourself by over-thinking it. You are making steady progress toward your goals. Enjoy your success.
  • hang in there. you are doing the right thing by expressing your frustration, you have come so far to give up.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    First 1.5 pounds is great!!!! Weight loss is not linear.

    Second as a 4'11" almost 40 years old, I can tell you that you are more in control of your calories maintenance than you think. Don't want to lower your calories? Add muscles. Muscle mass loss is not inevitable.
  • lauranneuk
    lauranneuk Posts: 21 Member
    Keep going! You're doing so well. I think sometimes its easy to become hung up on how far you have to go, instead of how far you've come. I know I myself am very guilty of this at times.

    I am so with you on the obsessiveness, it gets me to, I'm currently trying my hardest to not spiral into under eating again. Add me if you like :)
  • TheDarlingOne
    TheDarlingOne Posts: 255 Member
    You may find it more helpful to only weigh 1x a month - say at the start of the month possibly?

    That way - you go through say this month of september - and you weigh in on october 1st - and instead of just seeing 1.5lbs down for which you think you worked really hard and it should be more - you instead see say: 6lbs down - and your brain just thinks WOOHOO 6lbs down since last weigh in (nevermind you haven't weighed in in 1 month now)

    i dunno helps with my head - because I too was freaky about the # on the scale. obessively weighing in DAILY sometimes 2x a day - and i would use the 'not perfect #' to sabatage myself. like "oh you want to be up 1.5lbs tonight since this a.m.? I'll show you i'll make it up 4lbs by tomorrow night!"
    --just that kind of freaky response to the #'s on the scale. a defeatist attitude if you will lol.

    so 1x a month weigh ins i get to see - wow 6lbs down! my hard work DID pay off that's a lot of lbs down baby! :)
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    That's the kind of rate of loss I'm getting.. I'm happy with it!

    ^^^ this is the right attitude

    what do you want to lose? Fat? Or bone density, lean mass, water, glycogen? I'm assuming that you want to lose pure fat and nothing but fat. Well the human body simply can't burn fat that fast. It's our long term energy store, and it gets burned off slowly. If you lose weight quickly, it'll mostly be water and glycogen (our short term energy store) and if you eat too little over a longer period you'll start to lose muscle and bone density along with the fat. So, be happy with slow, steady and sustainable fat loss. The fact you lost 1.5lb slowly without feeling deprived is excellent news. That's 1.5 lb of fat burned off, and likely never to return, because you'll be able to sustain your new healthy lifestyle and keep the fat away for good. So look to the long term... if you're losing weight slowly the healthy way, then there's a much better chance that what you're losing is fat, and nothing but fat, and that it's gone for good.
  • action_figure
    action_figure Posts: 511 Member
    Dude, don't go by the numbers looking into the future. When I started out, I weighed 347 pounds, and I am 46 years old. I was eating 1720 to lose at first. As you know, MFP cuts it down, down, down as you get smaller. (I'm only 5'1" as well.) Well, it got down to something stupid like 1200 calories and I thought that was total BS, so I just slowly increased it a bit, and kept losing weight. I added strength training to my workouts with kettlebells, and now I'm up to eating 1600 a day and still losing two pounds a week. This will put my maintenance around 2500 calories, which is EASY. Google Layne Norton, PhD, and watch his videos regarding metabolic adaptation and reverse dieting. I think it's video #9 on his YouTube channel, but not sure. Anyway, best of luck to you.
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    I certainly understand where you are coming from. I am 50, and a few inches taller at 5'6", but my maintenance level right now is only around 1500-1600 and I still have 27 lbs to lose. It took me 9 months, averaging around 1200 to lose 45 pounds. Then I hit a plateau. Eating more didn't help. Exercising more didn't help. I looked at other women over 50 that were still losing, even slowly, and they were averaging around 1000 or less. The thought of having to eat that little for the rest of my life just sounded wrong.

    After 3 months of maintaining, I finally tried out the 5:2 fasting plan. Basically you pick 2 nonconsecutive days a week to only eat 500 cals. The rest of the week you eat at maintenance. That means for me, that I only have to obsess over weighing and counting every little bite, 2 days a week, then the other 5 days I can eat more like a 'normal' person.

    I wasn't sure that it would work for me, but over the past 6 weeks I have lost 4 pounds. I had an ice cream sundae at Sonic last night and the scale was not up this morning. I haven't had any sonic ice cream in over a year. and it was awesome! Of course I can't do that every day, but I was able to do so because on thurs I had only 500 cals of mostly protein and veggies.
    Yesterday I didn't even log my cals til the end of the day. Just noted what I had eaten thru the day. I felt like I was eating all day long, but when I totaled it up, even after the sundae, I was only at 1500 cals. So I maintained the one pound loss I had from the low cal day before.

    The reality of it is that for most of us women after we hit our mid to late 40s, our metabolism really drops. There are the exceptions of those that stay very active, or just have great genes, but most of us have to accept the fact that we simply cannot eat like we could in our 20s and 30s.
    So I have learned to make the most of the calories I have. I focus on proteins and healthy fats, to preserve as much muscle as I can, and to keep my hormones level, and I bulk up my meals with lots of non starch veggies.

    This does mean limiting starchy veggies and grains, and sugar, to keep carbs lower, giving more room for the protein and healthy fats, but I quickly found out that cutting way back on sugar and grains had an amazing effect on my pain levels, energy levels, and moods. If you have any type of inflammation in your body, like arthritis or fibro, or autoimmune disorders, then processed sugars and grains can cause more inflammation, resulting in more pain and fatigue. Wheat seems to be the biggest culprit of them all. I have found SO many women on here that are seeing the same results when they cut processed grains and sugar out, or at least restricted them severely.
    If you are at a higher risk for Diabetes, you may already be insulin resistant, and therefore eating a lower carb diet will help with weight loss.

    Many of the younger and healthier people on here will proclaim very loudly that you don't have to cut out any foods, you don't have to 'starve' yourself, it doesn't matter what you eat, or when you eat it, that calories in vs calories out is all that matters.
    For them, that may be true. But for many of us 'more seasoned' ladies, our bodies just respond differently now than when we were younger, and we sometimes have to get a bit creative.

    But it is SO worth it. I feel amazing today compared to where I was a year ago at 228, (down from my highest of 237).
    Now at 181, I can wear 12/14 jeans. I can walk without my cane. I don't wake up in pain every single day. I have so much more energy, and hope for an even better life ahead.

    Heck, last night I took a bunch of teenagers to a Christian Rock concert, complete with pyrotechnics and lasers, and I rocked it out with them all!

    Then went for ice cream!

    Hang in there. I know it sounds impossible, and at this point, maybe not even worth the effort. But it IS worth it.

    YOU are worth it.
  • StheK
    StheK Posts: 443 Member
    Every time I kick up my exercise program, this happens to me. My weight loss slows dramatically for a few weeks. Then it gets back to normal. I continue to weigh myself, but I just don't log the increases because I know they're temporary. Eventually it starts going the right direction again, as long as I don't give up.

    As for the normal relationship with food... that's a tough one! I agree with an earlier post that the longer I do this, the more normal it feels. I don't weigh everything, I don't go to restaurants with my measuring cups, and I don't count the creamer in my coffee. I try to eat back, on average, half of my exercise calories. That is my compromise, because frankly I don't trust my fitbit's calorie estimates and because I don't count the creamer in my coffee. I also don't let MFP lower my calorie goal every 10 lbs- I figure if I'm losing weight at the current calorie amount, why lower it?

    It's also pretty easy for me because I don't have to feed anyone else. I can eat the same things week after week and nobody complains. I can make food choices that work for me without worrying about what anyone else wants or needs.

    And I have to say, the biggest immediate benefit to making sure I eat balanced meals and experimenting with different types of foods and recipes is that I have found I can eat an awful lot of some things and still be within goal. To me, that's important, because like you, I worry about someday being restricted to a ridiculously low number of calories just to maintain. So I love finding foods and meals that give me a lot of satisfaction for the calories- it reminds me that it's entirely possible to eat really well within a calorie budget. I don't feel deprived. I eat whatever I want, within reason, and at the same time I've trained myself to want some things that are better for me.

    The longer I do this, the more maintainable it seems to me. Don't be afraid to have a few weeks where it looks like things aren't going the right direction on the scale. Don't be afraid to branch out with your food choices. Don't be afraid to occasionally indulge a craving. There have been times when I simply had to eat a whole medium pizza to myself. I did it, and then logged the calories and tried to eat a couple hundred fewer calories a day for the next week to make up for it. I pulled it off some days and not others. I made an extra loop on my hike. I moved on. Don't lower your calorie goals unless you absolutely have to. Don't stop exercising, but do try to find exercise that you actually enjoy doing for some reason. Try to eat back your exercise calories. Don't worry about maintaining this 10 years from now. And whatever you do, don't give up. That's the one thing that is guaranteed to make you fail at this, and if you just keep trying, keep making good healthy choices, you'll reach goal. It might not happen as fast as you want it to, but it won't happen at all if you give up. You can do this. I know this because I've felt exactly what you are feeling, and I'm still doing it successfully anyway.

    Best of luck!
  • glowgirl14
    glowgirl14 Posts: 200 Member
    We're all scared to see things slow down, because when they slow down or stop for a bit then we worry that we won't be able to lose any more. After all, we've failed so many times before. When we don't see a certain rate of loss on the scale we overthink everything...and we want to give up because why obsess if you're not seeing progress?

    I've was stalled for 2 years doing what you're talking about. Trying something for two or three weeks, and getting frustrated. This time, I got back on and have stayed for 2.5 months now. Stuck with the plan even when the scale was not moving...or even going up. For days straight. Now? I'm not as obsessed. I don't like to see a bigger number on the scale when I step on - none of us does. But I am learning to trust this plan because it's working. I know I'm doing this the healthy way. I know that I am going to reach my goal, and that I will be able to maintain when I get there...because this is healthy, and this is a lifestyle change - which doesn't occur in just a couple of weeks.

    You have already lost 60lbs...is this the first time things have slowed down? If so, look around the forums here. You are blessed. I don't think I've seen anyone else who has lost that much without major frustrations somewhere along the way.

    Just be patient with your body....you're making HUGE changes. You want something you can sustain...you have to give this time.
  • tjsoccermom
    tjsoccermom Posts: 500 Member
    You've done great so far! And 1.5 pounds is nothing to sneeze at. I didn't lose ANYTHING for 6 weeks. You've obviously been doing well to this point and must realize that some weeks you'll loss some, some none, some might even gain, and then boom...there comes a nice lose. Just look at the positives...you did lose, you're getting healthier and closer to your goal. It's not a race, it's a lifestyle change and takes time (which is going to pass anyway). I wouldn't worry about what you're going to need to do to maintain at this point, just work on getting there. You might find that you can maintain at a higher calorie than you think anyway.

    Good luck and keep going!!

    Edited for spelling error.
  • maybeazure
    maybeazure Posts: 301 Member
    It will happen. Also, maybe your goal weight is a little low. You could make it 20 pounds higher and still have a normal BMI. How you look at a particular weight has a lot to do with how much muscle you have. Are you doing strength training? More muscle will allow you to eat more too.
  • I hear ya sister! I'm 5'6" and 47, and I've only lost 3.8 lbs in the last month, it was 4 but I'm up .2 this week. I was hoping that it would have been more, but for some reason it's not. However, I do realize that at a minimum, if I don't keep this up, I'll be putting a lot more on than at least staying where I am. I'm not happy that things aren't moving, and hopefully as I play with my calorie intake and my macro intakes, I'll find a balance that I can both live with and manage without having to measure and weigh everything that goes into my mouth.

    I did weight watchers and it took almost two years for me to lose 50 lbs. I've since put 25 back on, and can tell you that 25 went on in a year, so it's probably going to take that to lose it, along with the other 20 on top of that 25. I'm hoping that as I work through my exercise routine (I'm doing Jillian Michaels Body Revolution) and get stronger, that the fat loss will start to catch up. I'm trying to measure my progress in other ways, such as seeing my strength improve as I complete exercises that were once difficult, measuring myself and improving on staying within or hitting my macro goals. I used to weigh myself every day, and small fluctuations would kill me. Now I weigh myself once a week and take measurements every two weeks. We do what we have to do to keep ourselves sane and on track.

    Feel free to friend me if you'd like!
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    1.5 pounds is great. I don't know why there is a problem.

    But if life is going to be too hard for you, you should probably quit everything. I mean its totally not worth it if its hard right?

    I have small children, a husband, and a mother who is getting older, and they all need me. So suicide is not an option at this point. Thanks for the helpful suggestion, though. :)
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    Thank you for all the encouraging replies to my little pity party! It's good to have a reminder that I'm not alone. Of course I know this, and most of the time I'm plugging away, doing what I have to do to try and get healthier. Sometimes it's just overwhelming though, and I'm so afraid of failing...again. It's great to be able to come here and express those thoughts and get positive feedback. I'm so glad I'm doing this and MFP really does help.

    I'm very fortunate not to have any health problems -- I realized 60 lbs ago that it was only a matter of time before things started falling apart and I had to lose the weight for more than just appearance sake. I do lift weights and I enjoy it -- I'm getting stronger and it feels great. I really really want to throw on a pair of size 6 jeans like it's no big deal, but that just seems like a ridiculous fantasy at this point. However, coming here and reading your replies reminds me of how far I've come and how proud I am of myself. So yay me, and thank you. :)
  • annc3333
    annc3333 Posts: 16 Member
    Thanks for posting because I have just gone through the exact same experience. Logging every little tic tac, keeping well within my target number (1200), feeling confident, staying off the scale so I wouldn't be stressing over every little ounce….and in two weeks I lost .4 pounds! Not even half a pound. I could not believe it. So frustrated and discouraged.

    But all these responses here are helpful. I know weight loss is not linear and it is easy to think I am doing something wrong (and maybe I am!) when results are just not happening. Its easy to just give up in massive wave of depression and hopelessness, but where does that get me? No, there is only one real alternative and that is to continue eating as healthy as I know how to and let my body do what it does. I don't want to be at war with my own body. Today I am going to pet myself and say "Nice body, good body, I love you body, I'll take care of you, body, don't worry, body." :P
  • Francl27
    Francl27 Posts: 26,371 Member
    Weight loss isn't linear. I only lose during and after my period (but 3-6 lbs in a week) . Then I stall or even gain a little for 2-3 weeks until the next one. I gave up on weekly weigh-ins when it started happening, because there's just no point. I only weigh myself for 10 days after my period now. It's annoying but you get used to it, just got to stick it out.
  • joshdann
    joshdann Posts: 618 Member
    this is one of the biggest problems with only weighing in every couple of weeks. You have no idea if that particular measurement is a high or low for you (home scales are inherently inaccurate and need to be averaged), and you don't have nearly enough data to properly calculate your real TDEE. 1.5 lbs in two weeks when you need to lose 60 *is* low. I don't want to be discouraging, just being honest. Your body can very safely tolerate a much larger net deficit than what you're probably giving it. If you want to lose weight faster, eat less and move more. Generate a higher deficit through exercise if you can't eat less. It *will* come off, and faster.

    I don't necessarily think 1300 calories is a small amount of food, especially for someone 5'3". I'm 6'6" and if I was completely sedentary, I'd be just fine at 1300 calories. If you want to eat more, just exercise more. Calories in versus calories out... you can do this!

    oh, and read this... it holds the secret to weight loss: http://www.acaloriecounter.com/blog/why-am-i-not-losing-weight/
  • Hugs for you! I feel your pain. I am only 25, obese, and have similar issues. I wish I could eat what other ladies my age (and even older) eat & lose 2 or more lbs a week like they do, but I'm lucky to lose 1 lb a week on 1200-1400 calories w/ exercise 3x a week. If I eat 1700-1800 I maintain. I've tried it long-term and the scale never started going down. I've been checked out, blood tested, etc, and the only answer I get from the doctor is 1200-1400 calories is a good weight loss diet for me (I'm 5'4" and 200 lbs), but there's nothing wrong with me. He actually doesn't believe that I eat as little as I say I do and swears I'm drinking cokes and stupidly thinking they have no calories. So I just roll my eyes and leave the office *sigh*. I finally realized if I worked hard and lost 1 lb a week for a year, I'd be down 52 lbs. Even if I only lose 0.5 a week I will be down at least 25 lbs. If I do nothing, I'll stay the same or my health will get worse.

    We're in it for the long haul. If you can find ways to make it easier on yourself where you don't feel the need to obsess over weighing every little bit of food and stressing over your results, you'll be much happier with your results.

    I do things to make the calorie deficit easier... eat filling raw veggies & fruits for snacks, drinking a big glass of water before meals... just to make it more livable until I get used to it. If you're miserable with the process, the results will never be enough.
  • 0somuchbetter0
    0somuchbetter0 Posts: 1,335 Member
    this is one of the biggest problems with only weighing in every couple of weeks. You have no idea if that particular measurement is a high or low for you (home scales are inherently inaccurate and need to be averaged), and you don't have nearly enough data to properly calculate your real TDEE. 1.5 lbs in two weeks when you need to lose 60 *is* low. I don't want to be discouraging, just being honest. Your body can very safely tolerate a much larger net deficit than what you're probably giving it. If you want to lose weight faster, eat less and move more. Generate a higher deficit through exercise if you can't eat less. It *will* come off, and faster.

    I don't necessarily think 1300 calories is a small amount of food, especially for someone 5'3". I'm 6'6" and if I was completely sedentary, I'd be just fine at 1300 calories. If you want to eat more, just exercise more. Calories in versus calories out... you can do this!

    oh, and read this... it holds the secret to weight loss: http://www.acaloriecounter.com/blog/why-am-i-not-losing-weight/

    LOL Thank you for this. Yes, I'm eating too many calories. I only decreased my calorie goal to 1300 this morning. I had been shooting for 1500, and justifying more with exercise, and having a few too many "indulgence" days. So yes, too many calories. Now I'm shooting for 1300. October 15...we shall see....
  • I've been working really hard the last two weeks to stay within my calorie goal and stick to my exercise program. I've done really well and I absolutely give myself credit for that. I decided not to weigh myself during that time because the numbers on the scale freak me out and I get obsessed. Well, I get obsessed anyway...weighing every little thing, counting every last calorie, thinking about food and my next work-out all day long. It's mentally and emotionally exhausting and I'm so wound up I feel like I could snap at any moment.

    So I just had my weigh-in and I lost 1.5 pounds in the last two weeks. 1.5 tiny fricken little pounds. And I have 60 to go. I just don't know if I can keep this up much longer. I'm not starving or depriving myself by any means, but I can't seem to just relax and be normal about this. I'm at either one extreme or the other -- I either obsess about every little calorie or I just turn off my brain and eat everything in sight. I just want to have a NORMAL relationship with food!

    Plus, looking at the numbers, if I ever do reach my goal weight, the number of calories I'll need to maintain is so small! I'm 5'3" and 47 years old, so that's about 1550 calories day with a moderate exercise routine. And that number will only get smaller as I get older, so by the time I'm 60 I'll only be able to eat about 1300 without gaining weight.

    I dunno...I hate to whine, I really do, but it all seems so hopeless sometimes. :cry:

    I can relate so much. I am trying not to be obsessed with it. And I feel hopeless and whiny about it sometimes too. Ok...a lot. :-/
    I am doing my best to be good about my calorie intake and my daily exercise(calories out), staying diligently within a 500 daily calorie deficit, then I get on the scale and zip. Usually disappointment, or painfully slow loss increments. So, I think... 'where is my reward for finally trying so hard?'
    I long for that pound a week, and when I don't lose it, I sit here and want to just eat ice cream. Because....well...what the heck is the point? Ok...I THINK that, but then I realize that I have lost 7, since I started in earnest again, and it didn't come off without a little work at it. So, I get back on that old horse again the next day....

    I think at our age( I am also 47) it is just way more difficult because of our out- of -whack hormones and such. So we end up having to work harder at it than, say a 30 year old or younger does.

    I think you should give yourself lots of credit for working at it. I try to think of it in the way that at least I am eating healthier, and getting that exercise that will be helpful as my age advances, anyway. Plus, it will come off if you try, and it definitely won't if you give up.
  • mydeloo78
    mydeloo78 Posts: 328 Member
    If you lost 1.5lbs every other week for a year you'd lose 40lbs! its all about consistency over time.
  • sengalissa
    sengalissa Posts: 253 Member
    I am the same way. When I am on the healthy waggon, I read on mynfp all the time, and I check out other people's thighs and I kind of wear these "weight loss glasses". Then I fall off the waggon and focus on something else. There is only feast or famine, success of fail. It is mentally exhausting, I get it! I need to make weight loss my hobby to succeed.
    A few years back, I was able to stay on track for 9 months, not excited at all, and I just kept going all the time. I don't know why I am so much more focussed now.