Does anyone else feel defeated sometimes?

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13words
13words Posts: 12 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Two years ago I was 135kg (297lb). Now I am sitting on 87kg (192lb). Height of 162cm (5'3).
I'm 25, and had two cesareans, and I've always been big, so now I'm left with a massive overhang which just won't go away no matter how much weight I lose. My goal is 59kg (130lb), and I'm saving up for a tummy tuck as I enjoy running, and with such a massive apron of skin around my midsection, clothing doesn't ever fit properly and it makes running more difficult.

Does anyone else go through massive depressed stages with their body? My school pants for example (nursing student) I have in an 18 and a 16, and the 18s are too big, and massively too big in the legs, and the 16s fit the legs perfectly but the waistband is slightly too tight due to my stomach. It's just depressing. I'm young and I hate nothing fitting correctly no matter what I try on.

Please tell me I'm not alone?

Replies

  • nalabdullah
    nalabdullah Posts: 4
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    you are definitely not alone. I haven't shopped for jeans in about two years because it just makes me so mad. I have the exact same problem as you, my jeans always fit in the legs and bottom but are too tight in the waist. Just hang in there, keep losing, keep your head up. Eventually, you will get there. for now, try a girdle. Those help me quite a bit.
  • nalabdullah
    nalabdullah Posts: 4
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    also, try jeans or pants with lots of elasticity. not necessarily an elastic waist band or anything like that but jeans made out of stretchy material help.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    You're defniitely not alone.

    I got a tummy tuck in my 20s, I'd always been about 56kg or thereabouts, met a man who took me out to dinner a LOT, got pregnant, the baby was huge. I ate heaps, being stupid, and gained enormously during that pregnancy. I had a massive handbag. The stretch marks were so huge I used to joke my stomach looked like a map of the London Underground.

    I got the tummy tuck but I don't think I went to the right surgeon for it. Ask for pics of prior successes. See if they do it evenly. I got left with corners. It cost me a lot of money and was not an amazing success.

    Make sure you don't get it till you're at your final size, and make sure that afterwards you don't gain again. It stretches, itches and feels really tight when you put on weight. :)

    And don't be too down on yourself, you're probably not as bad as you think you are. :)
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
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    Two years ago I was 135kg (297lb). Now I am sitting on 87kg (192lb). Height of 162cm (5'3).
    I'm 25, and had two cesareans, and I've always been big, so now I'm left with a massive overhang which just won't go away no matter how much weight I lose. My goal is 59kg (130lb), and I'm saving up for a tummy tuck as I enjoy running, and with such a massive apron of skin around my midsection, clothing doesn't ever fit properly and it makes running more difficult.

    Does anyone else go through massive depressed stages with their body? My school pants for example (nursing student) I have in an 18 and a 16, and the 18s are too big, and massively too big in the legs, and the 16s fit the legs perfectly but the waistband is slightly too tight due to my stomach. It's just depressing. I'm young and I hate nothing fitting correctly no matter what I try on.

    Please tell me I'm not alone?

    Everyone feels defeated at one time or another. And not only about weight related things.
  • candylilacs
    candylilacs Posts: 614 Member
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    I'd also check online to find pants that are more roomy in the waist, or at least show measurements of each size so you know they will fit correctly.

    Personally, I have a not-small waist and now have much smaller thighs and hips from working out, so I feel a little off kilter. I will say, that I found JCPenney's JCP skinny jeans fit more generously in the waist. I just bought some a month ago and they're now my go-to pants.

    As for the skin -- that may tighten up, but it takes time (sometimes two years!) so don't beat yourself up. You lost so much weight! That's such hard work and you were successful! Don't downplay that. The skin will be corrected one way or another and it will not be a problem, so focus on your goals.
  • notdieting
    notdieting Posts: 116 Member
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    As mentioned above, Everyone feels defeated sometimes and it's hard to pick yourself up and carry on but you have to to succeed.

    I am 41 and have the same issue....a tummy apron. I don't even have the comfort of youth to convince me it will spring back one day BUT I have lost 39lb, I look better, I feel better, clothes fit better despite the bulging tummy. I wear trousers that fit my ample bottom then cinch them in at the waist....and at the moment, there's a lot of cinching as I have lost so much more weight from above waist than below BUT, again, if I look at my tummy, it IS shrinking. It may be much slower than other areas, it still has a significant overhang, but it is getting smaller. I have accepted that as I still have at least the same amount of weight again to lose, it will take a long time before my apron will go. In fact it may never go but oh my goodness, how much better will things be, even with the apron??

    Keep at it hon, it will be worth the effort, it really will and if you get to goal, maintain that for a significant period and still have the overhang, then well researched surgery is always an option.....but right now, give yourself a break eh? We put our bodies through so much torture when we become overweight, we simply cannot expect them to honour us with instant repair! xx
  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    It's just a thought, sweetie, nothing more. Feeling defeated and thinking you're defeated doesn't mean you ARE defeated. Tell the negative voice to STFU and keep on going.

    You are doing incredibly, incredibly well. :flowerforyou:
  • 13words
    13words Posts: 12 Member
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    Thank you everyone, seriously, thank you :)
    Everyone is so lovely here! I'm going to screen print the replies on my iPad so I can re read them each time I feel this way!!
  • SkinnyWannabeGal
    SkinnyWannabeGal Posts: 143 Member
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    I do remember feeling quite defeated at times. Then I look at how far I've come and how much further I would like to go. I have a belly issue after pregnancy as well. But did I earn that belly while producing a beautiful child? Darn right I did! My child now feels my belly, hugs it and says, "I was in there! I love your belly so much! Thank you for making me, mommy's tummy!" Brings tears to my eyes. If a child can love it, then so can I. I may not ever look the same as I did before pregnancy, but it will always be a reminder of my precious child. Doesn't mean that I don't want it to be flatter though :tongue: lol. I just know that my large belly came about for a reason and I wouldn't go back and change it for the world.

    OP, look how far you have come. Kudos to you! Hang in there, you are an amazing and beautiful woman and mother. :flowerforyou:
  • faithfirst
    faithfirst Posts: 138 Member
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    It's just a thought, sweetie, nothing more. Feeling defeated and thinking you're defeated doesn't mean you ARE defeated. Tell the negative voice to STFU and keep on going.

    You are doing incredibly, incredibly well. :flowerforyou:

    Perfectly said!
  • SophieA9083
    SophieA9083 Posts: 63
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    Two years ago I was 135kg (297lb). Now I am sitting on 87kg (192lb). Height of 162cm (5'3).
    I'm 25, and had two cesareans, and I've always been big, so now I'm left with a massive overhang which just won't go away no matter how much weight I lose. My goal is 59kg (130lb), and I'm saving up for a tummy tuck as I enjoy running, and with such a massive apron of skin around my midsection, clothing doesn't ever fit properly and it makes running more difficult.

    Does anyone else go through massive depressed stages with their body? My school pants for example (nursing student) I have in an 18 and a 16, and the 18s are too big, and massively too big in the legs, and the 16s fit the legs perfectly but the waistband is slightly too tight due to my stomach. It's just depressing. I'm young and I hate nothing fitting correctly no matter what I try on.

    Please tell me I'm not alone?

    Pretty sure if you are in the UK what with your massive weight loss you can have a tummy tuck on the NHS. Stand looking at yourself in the mirror everyday for 2 minutes and find something you like about yourself and each day you will notice something else like oooh i have nice skin or delicate wrists for example.....I am 178cm and 85 ish Kg's and I find it hard to get clothes to fit, I have a fat *kitten* so my jeans are too tight in the back and around my thighs and tooo big in the front...the gape and look like a sack of potatoes, my measurements are 37 bust, 30 true waist, 38 round my tummy and 44/45 around my massive *kitten* so I am a true pear shape, clothing sites like http://www.marisota.co.uk/shop/ are pretty good and I get all my jeans from next as they offer 35inch legs which allows me to go down a size all be it they are a little tight in the thighs but they are great everywhere else.
    I have horrific days where I can't find anything i like in shops and I feel hideous in what I am wearing with all my over hangs and muffin tops but I try to think that tomorrow will be a better day and chuck a big cuddley jumper on and some trousers and hope for the best!


    You have had a fantastic weight loss do not give in!
  • 224BILL
    224BILL Posts: 29
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    I have felt that way all week. My wife of 21 years informed me that she was no longer close to me and wanted to separate. I have lost 10 lbs in a week grieving for my 2 children 10 and 14 years old. The reason I decided to share is life throws many challenges but you as a person have to decide to dig in and fight or give up. I choose to dig in.

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