Sick of being the fat comical best friend.

timetotakearisksweetheart
timetotakearisksweetheart Posts: 3 Member
edited February 3 in Introduce Yourself
Hey there,

I just thought I'd try and motivate myself by doing a little post on here. I need to lose weight (I'm 4 foot 10 - and 14stone), but I seem to start these diets and changes and then just get upset one day, slip and then never go back.

All I know is I'm tired now of being the funny one that nobody really looks twice at when I'm on a night out with my friends. Now I'm not saying that I'm doing it for male attention - I just feel that if I felt truly happy with myself then I wouldn't be as insecure and it wouldn't bother me if no-one looked at me because I'd be happy with me. I'm just at a low at the moment, I'm quite a bubbly person in general and love making people laugh and being a shoulder to lean on but I've recently been dumped by a guy I was seeing for a little while (not very long) who didn't text me for a day, then told me it wasn't working in a facebook message and then proceeded to ignore me when I tried to talk to him about it. I mean I KNOW he's the idiot but it still put me on a bit of a downer as I'd never been that attracted to someone before and then I thought 'well the only reason this is bothering me is because i don't like the way I look and therefore felt like we weren't equal anyway' - so I want to set off on a journey to love myself, as Kate Winslet said in a cheesdy romantic film that I love (The Holiday) - You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life for gods sake'

Anyway guys sorry about the big message - any words of wisdom, gentle shoves in the right direction? I eat my feelings and hate excercise so I'm trying to change quite a lot here, any tips on how to do it without over-facing myself?

Thank you everyone :) x

Replies

  • swissbrit
    swissbrit Posts: 201
    Have a look at this for the **** Autum weather all sorts of videos to work out at home :-) GOod luck and the only tip I can give you is to be honest with your logging as you are only trying to fool yourself if you are not :-/ weigh your portions at the begining until you get an idea of how many calories are in the portions you are serving, take a photo of yourself so that you see the difference as you make progress and measure yourself and put the results on here so you know what changes your body is making :-) Good luck and stay positive (forget men until you feel happy with yourself, never be anyones doormat!)
  • swissbrit
    swissbrit Posts: 201
    Duuuh heres the link lol http://hasfit.com/beginner-workout-program/
  • timetotakearisksweetheart
    timetotakearisksweetheart Posts: 3 Member
    Hey thank you very much for all your advice :) I'm currently looking at the link you sent me! :) Yeh I think i'm gonna forget dating until I sort myself out. I'm about to go route out a tape measure to take my measurements :) x
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    As much as we like to think that we can win the world with our personalities alone, we still have to get our foot in the door. Or out the door, depending on the issue. If you hate exercise, you're doing something wrong. If you don't like running on a treadmill, find a park and go for a hike. If you don't like lifting in the gym, find some fitness videos you like. Try yoga, pilates, Zumba, whatever it takes until you find something you love.

    As for eating your feelings, try to find something worth eating. A giant colorful salad with some lean protein, some air-popped popcorn with some curry powder sprinkled on it, something slow and bulky that won't burn out your calories.

    Been dumped before. Been dropped before. Never been the cute, funny friend but I can't imagine that helps. Go find you, and the appreciation will follow.
  • swissbrit
    swissbrit Posts: 201
    Oh and here is a site with loads of low cal fast meals http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/recipes/quick-recipes/dinner/healthy-eating-planner-quick-easy-meals/?page=2
  • Joanne_happygramma
    Joanne_happygramma Posts: 207 Member
    Oh sweetie this was how I lived most of my life. I have always been the fun fat friend for everyone. And like you making people laugh is one of my favourite things to do. That said I wish when I was your age I had the tools that are available to us now, like Myfitnespal and my new favourite toy the fitbit one. Seeing everyday here how the amount of exercise and calorie intake will help change us is the most important thing. Just one step at a time is all it takes. Here goes the blah blah. We didn't put the weight on overnight so it takes a while to come off. I just blogged a while ago about my lifelong struggle and as I said earlier using the tools that are available to you now and just doing it will make you a happier person down the road.

    Make lots of friends here, they will cheer you on and seeing some of the fabulous motivational pictures and stories here for me is just more fuel for my desire to make this work. The right man will come along when you want him too, and having someone that loves you for what you are and not what you weigh is all that matters.

    Joanne
  • swissbrit
    swissbrit Posts: 201
    Here is another with shoping list to print ;-) http://www.skinnymom.com/2012/12/30/january-food-calendar-a-whole-month-of-skinny-meals/
  • elainemorris1982
    elainemorris1982 Posts: 104 Member
    Don't think of your new journey as a diet. It is a lifestyle change. Take one day at a time. Remember u didn't put the weight on overnight so be patient with your loss as it will happen. It is better to lose slowly through eating healthier and exercise, Once you start logging your food, you will be shocked at some of the calories in food. You will make better food choices in a couple of weeks. Just give it time. I know you say you dont like exercise much but just start off with walking even just 10-20 mins first day and build it up from there. Good luck on your journey xxx
  • Patzycakes
    Patzycakes Posts: 175 Member
    :smile: Welcome.

    Lots of things you can do that are excerise without being all excercisey. Cleaning the house, walking the dog (or cat :smile: ) washing your car, doing laundry. Moving burns calories, all you have to do is get up and move around more. I haven't set foot in a gym in 10 years, but found that I really liked yoga, so I just do yoga. You'll find something that's a good fit.

    Track everything. I would usually say don't cut your calories unti you've tracked for a few days doing what you've been doing. By doing this, you can actually see what you've been doing "wrong" and can then take appropriate steps to reduce.

    ~Patzy
  • devastation77
    devastation77 Posts: 233
    Remember that along the way you might gt some detractors who seem like they're trying to trip you up. A great quote for this is:

    "The people who who ask you 'why are you doing this?' will be the same ones who ask you 'how did you do it?' at the end.
  • Donald_Dozier_50
    Donald_Dozier_50 Posts: 395 Member
    Diets come and go, you start and fail........... this is the reason people here have the lifestyle change approach. You can do it, when you make friends here it seems to build up a sort of accountability to help support you,

    Good luck and feel free to add me. I do get where you are coming from.
  • haleynhoffman150
    haleynhoffman150 Posts: 4
    Hey I understand you completely! Anyone, feel free to add me! I am looking for supportive friends that can help motivate and support! Thanks:)
  • stryla
    stryla Posts: 29 Member
    If you mess up and eat more than you should one day, or dont exercise one day, dont give up. Tomorrow is a new day, just try again. Eventually you will have more good days than bad days.

    My problem before was, id super crave something and over eat, get disgusted at myself and give up entirely on trying to eat healthy. Now im giving myself a break, and just trying to do better the next day.
  • Howdoyoufeeltoday
    Howdoyoufeeltoday Posts: 481 Member
    Oh I know how you feel. As if being "dumped" isn't enough, they don't even have the guts to do it in person, they have to do it over facebook. I wish I had advice on how to completely move on from that one but I'm still working it. But making the change to start feeling better about yourself is the way to go. Get out there and show em what you're made of! :happy:
  • RunsOnEspresso
    RunsOnEspresso Posts: 3,220 Member
    Take it one day at a time and don't try to change everything all at once. You don't like exercise? Then start with changing your eating habits. Make a small change each day rather than several large changes at once.

    It took time to put the weight on, it will take time to take it off. Good luck.
  • floop1207
    floop1207 Posts: 194 Member
    i'm finding it easier by logging everything i eat properly - ie weight it on scales and work out the calories.

    don't start off with a really low unrealistic calorie goal as if you're starving hungry you'll feel miserable and that can really set you back.

    i've started cooking from scratch more so i know exactly what i'm eating and i've found that i'm rarely over the calorie goal i have set myself. i've cut nothing out at all, i just have smaller portions.

    not much advice i'm afraid as i'm very new on my journey but seeing the scales move a bit occasionally and having my clothes feel a bit looser is motivating in itself. i want to feel better about myself for myself.
  • jardin12
    jardin12 Posts: 62 Member
    Small changes over a long time. You're lucky you are young but you are never too young to start getting fit and healthy. Think about what kind of old bird you want to be - I want to be running and gardening when I'm 80 - I'm not sitting on a verandah with a rug on my knees!! You will be the winner here. Do take your measurements cause it's amazing how motivating it is when you loose an inch or two. Remember nothing worth doing is easy and as doctor Zeus says 'so get up and out on your way, kid you'll move mountains'. Xxx
  • timetotakearisksweetheart
    timetotakearisksweetheart Posts: 3 Member
    Hey everyone, thank you all so much for all your tips and kind words. In summary I think I'm going to start with tracking everything tomorrow and maybe just going on a long walk with the dog and then maybe as the week goes on, trying a few home exercise videos and trying to change my choices a bit, I'm hoping with all of this support from you guys it's going to be easier this time round, i have been on website like this before but I've never been an active member of them so just from how good I'm feeling after all of your advice and feedback I'm thinking this is going to be the difference between getting somewhere and crashing and burning! I'm feeling quite motivated now thank you guys :D
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