Confused - Food Question

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Hey everyone. I have been a member on myfitnesspal since 2008 but haven't been logging or regularly reading for a couple years now. I get a spurt of motivation sign on and then become discouraged. When I first signed up it was really only to help me lose about 10 pounds and I was still healthy. Since then, I had a baby, a complicated birth and chronic back pain since pregnancy. I need to lose about 40 pounds to be back to a healthy weight and I have been struggling to lose it for the past 3 years. I actually got to about 20 pounds of my goal and then gained 20 back. I started reading all kinds of articles on healthy eating and now I have just become to set on being *perfect.* Ive read different articles contradicting each other so then I wind up confused. I also saw a trainer last year that told me no carbs after noon...so then I think...oh no carbs after noon, and this piece of info says no fruits after 3, make sure you eat xyz in the morning but avoid it in the afternoon etc etc etc that at this point I don't know what is what. I know you are supposed to eat small every 2-3 hours. Eat what? I don't eat meat anymore. That includes red meat and chicken...however I never really learned how to eat healthy meat free. I don't want to eat all these soy substitutes but green and healthy, but tasty too.

I notoriously try to make a meal plan, go shopping and ultimately fail at following it and then wind up wasting so much produce. I become so overwhelmed even though it should be simple. I have tried follow other peoples meal plans, Happy Herbivore, I have contemplated the Fresh 20 because it seems easy, but then I see certain food groups on the menu and it contradicts other info I have read and then I disregard it all.

I feel tired, fatigued, unhealthy, weak and it needs to change. I need to change.

Do you strictly calorie count and just eat reasonably or do you feel like what you eat and when matters
I started today out eating healthy and raw and become uncomfortably bloated and became discouraged once again.

I realize the general answer is eat well and exercise. I am obviously failing at both and like I said above, it's all the contradicting information that is really confusing for me. My exercise isn't as good as it should be because of the chronic pain, but I should at the very least be able to lose some weight with my diet. I just need some help sorting it out.

Someone set me straight. Give me a slap upside the head.

Replies

  • Mokey41
    Mokey41 Posts: 5,769 Member
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    Set a reasonable calorie goal, probably the 1 pound per week setting, and stick to it. Doesn't matter what you eat or when you eat it, just stick to the budget. You're making it harder than it needs to be.
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,488 Member
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    and now I have just become to set on being *perfect.*

    Stop that. There is no perfect. Every single thing you do there will be someone out there that can tell you how it is wrong. Keep it simple - it's much more long lasting that way. As Mokey41 said - put in 1 lb a week loss, log your food, eat your calories, go on with life. After you've been at it a while you can start trying to make it more complicated if you really want to.
  • candycaneps
    candycaneps Posts: 340 Member
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    and now I have just become to set on being *perfect.*

    Stop that. There is no perfect. Every single thing you do there will be someone out there that can tell you how it is wrong. Keep it simple - it's much more long lasting that way. As Mokey41 said - put in 1 lb a week loss, log your food, eat your calories, go on with life. After you've been at it a while you can start trying to make it more complicated if you really want to.

    Thank you!

    I definitely don't want it to be complicated, it just started out reading blogs, then books, articles, more blogs, more books and all the information started to swirl around in my head that it became hard to even know where to go from that point.
    A lot sources will say that you need to certain foods at certain times etc. I do obviously want to feel healthier so I need healthier foods in my died, and not just fill my calorie quota with sub par nutrition.
  • cdahl383
    cdahl383 Posts: 726 Member
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    I think you're just over-thinking it all honestly. It's not all that complicated, the bottom line is that you figure out a plan that works for you and that you will stick with consistently in the long run. For me personally, I dont want to worry about carbs or fruits after certain times or not eating red meat or whatever, too complicated. Weight is simply a matter of calories in vs calories out, and your body composition is a matter of the types of food you eat and the types of exercise you do.

    Just use a basic calorie calculator to determine your BMR. Thats the amount of calories you burn if you did nothing. Let's say 1700 calories. Then factor in an activity level that is realistic to what you do everyday. That's your TDEE. Say 2000 calories based on your activity level. Now subtract 20% from that number. That's 1600 calories. Try to eat that many calories per day for a couple weeks and see how much weight comes off and adjust from there (you want to be around 1-2 lbs of weight loss per week ideally in most cases) My TDEE is around 2800 calories so I eat 2250 calories roughly each day and lose around 1-2 lbs per week. I'm not that hungry during the day and its realistic and easy to achieve.

    You'll find quickly that it is much easier to go over on your calories by eating junk food and fatty foods than it is produce and high fiber foods. You can eat a ton of fruit and still be alright vs eating a box of crackers at night. So just use your common sense and eat healthy foods. Fruits, vegetables, salads, chicken, beef, brown rice, whole grain breads, low fat cheese, fat free yogurt and cottage cheese, make healthier selections while at the restaurant, etc. If you plan your meals ahead of time for the day that also helps if you feel like doing that too.

    Then just combine that with some cardio during the week (jogging, walking, treadmill, bike, etc) and do some weight training if you can as that helps also. Eventually these things will become habit after doing them enough and then you can just watch the weight drop off.

    As the other poster said, don't aim to be perfect. Perfect is a relative term anyway. Set a realistic goal for yourself and aim for that. If you want to drop 40 lbs, then thats your long term goal. In the meantime, focus on the first 10 lbs and work towards that as that is easier to achieve in the short run.

    I wouldn't get too wrapped up in all the various plans and articles out there, it is definitely confusing. Just make it easy on yourself and you're much more likely to succeed. Good luck!
  • rileysowner
    rileysowner Posts: 8,133 Member
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    If you like eating small meals every 2-3 hours you can do it, but you don't have to. Lots of research has been done on meal size and frequency the result of which is there is not any difference for a person metabolically whether you eat few larger meals that are spaced out or eat small frequent meals. In other words, pick the eating pattern that satisfies you the most. If that is 2-3 meals or if it is 5-6.
  • jeme3
    jeme3 Posts: 355 Member
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    Set a reasonable calorie goal, probably the 1 pound per week setting, and stick to it. Doesn't matter what you eat or when you eat it, just stick to the budget. You're making it harder than it needs to be.

    Start with this.

    Go for a walk, get moving.

    Don't over think or over complicate.

    And don't worry about perfection. Eat less, move more and you will be making a start.
  • lorelei68
    lorelei68 Posts: 30 Member
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    It is easy to become overwhelmed with information. What I did was think about the food I really liked and found ways to make it healthier. Plus, I started shopping for only a few days at a time. It takes a little more time out of your week but then you are only buying what you need immediately and not having to throw as much away.

    Also, not eating red meat or chicken is ok. There are lots of other ways to get the protein you need into your meal plans. Different kinds of grains and beans are wonderful for that. Yes, I know those are 'carbs' but they are a healthier choice.

    For my house we had become bogged down in the 'easy' processed food syndrome. Maybe try to do just a few meals a week to start that are less boxed and more fresh.

    Friend me if you like, I have lots of recipes, love to cook and am willing to share ideas.
  • ktsimons
    ktsimons Posts: 294 Member
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    Here's your slap! XOXOXOXO

    SLOW DOWN, WOMAN! Stop trying to change everything in a day - I know couldn't do it and it sounds like you might not be able to either...this is what worked for me:

    change one thing this week...do one thing better every day this week
    change one more thing next week...do THAT one thing every day the next week while you are still doing the thing from week one...

    And by change I mean really ONE thing...Stop trying to reinvent the wheel...just start with breakfast...Google some good 250 to 300 calorie breakfast ideas and eat a nice breakfast every day next week. Then after you have "adjusted" to that, keep doing it and add in a good 100 to 150 calorie mid morning snack. Move on to lunch, afternoon snack, then dinner - shooting for the appropriate calorie goal. I must say that I had to stop the vegetarian diet as I was exhausted and grey looking on a veggie only diet...I must have protein, so perhaps the first change is to research good vegetarian protein rich options and start learning how to prepare them in a way that makes them edible.

    Don't weigh during this time frame, accept that it might take you more than 6 weeks to completely overhaul your diet. You are trying to change the way you think and feel about food - breaking cravings as you go. Sometimes slowly is the only way to do it.

    Pay attention to your body...Eat cabbage and bloat up? Maybe cabbage isn't something you should eat a lot of...I happen to have a gluten intolerance. That doesn't mean I NEVER eat wheat...it does mean that I don't eat it very often - twice a month or so...because it HURTS!!

    Also, don't listen to the people that say you can eat fruit before 2 and dairy is the devils spawn...You need to find the amount of daily calories that will allow you to loose weight and eat that amount. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it fits into your macros. I happen to eat very "clean" all week so that I can eat kinda rotten over the weekend and it seems to be working. Check out the websites that you can check your BMR and TDEE - then tweak your calorie intake until you start to loose.

    Finally - please take it easy on yourself...stop doing so much research...the folks that make those magical diet websites don't have a corner on the market for weight loss...eat more "real" food than processed, find the right amount of calories to loose weight, and cut yourself a little slack when you fall off the wagon...everyone falls off the wagon - just get back on.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Set a reasonable calorie goal, probably the 1 pound per week setting, and stick to it. Doesn't matter what you eat or when you eat it, just stick to the budget. You're making it harder than it needs to be.

    Yes, do this. Don't worry about contradictory advice from people without qualifications or with something to sell (usually both). Just track calories religiously, be honest in logging what you eat, and be skeptical about what MFP estimates for exercise calories.

    I eat lots of carbs, I eat most of my food after 8 pm, and I don't particularly limit sodium, fat, or booze. And I've lost a pound a week this year. It takes a lot of discipline to stick to that calorie target, but as long as you can do so, you should see results. If you don't, then lower your calorie goal and keep trying (because if you don't, it's probably because of measurement error).

    Good luck!
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
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    If you aren't eating meat, be sure you are getting enough iron and protein. I recommend tracking iron as one of your MFP categories. Just a few days of renewed attention to my macros and iron have me feeling MUCH better, energy and mood wise, than I had previously. Eat some citrus with your iron sources, as the citrus will help the iron absorb.
  • candycaneps
    candycaneps Posts: 340 Member
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    *edit
  • candycaneps
    candycaneps Posts: 340 Member
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    Here's your slap! XOXOXOXO

    SLOW DOWN, WOMAN! Stop trying to change everything in a day - I know couldn't do it and it sounds like you might not be able to either...this is what worked for me:

    change one thing this week...do one thing better every day this week
    change one more thing next week...do THAT one thing every day the next week while you are still doing the thing from week one...

    And by change I mean really ONE thing...Stop trying to reinvent the wheel...just start with breakfast...Google some good 250 to 300 calorie breakfast ideas and eat a nice breakfast every day next week. Then after you have "adjusted" to that, keep doing it and add in a good 100 to 150 calorie mid morning snack. Move on to lunch, afternoon snack, then dinner - shooting for the appropriate calorie goal. I must say that I had to stop the vegetarian diet as I was exhausted and grey looking on a veggie only diet...I must have protein, so perhaps the first change is to research good vegetarian protein rich options and start learning how to prepare them in a way that makes them edible.

    Don't weigh during this time frame, accept that it might take you more than 6 weeks to completely overhaul your diet. You are trying to change the way you think and feel about food - breaking cravings as you go. Sometimes slowly is the only way to do it.

    Pay attention to your body...Eat cabbage and bloat up? Maybe cabbage isn't something you should eat a lot of...I happen to have a gluten intolerance. That doesn't mean I NEVER eat wheat...it does mean that I don't eat it very often - twice a month or so...because it HURTS!!

    Also, don't listen to the people that say you can eat fruit before 2 and dairy is the devils spawn...You need to find the amount of daily calories that will allow you to loose weight and eat that amount. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it fits into your macros. I happen to eat very "clean" all week so that I can eat kinda rotten over the weekend and it seems to be working. Check out the websites that you can check your BMR and TDEE - then tweak your calorie intake until you start to loose.

    Finally - please take it easy on yourself...stop doing so much research...the folks that make those magical diet websites don't have a corner on the market for weight loss...eat more "real" food than processed, find the right amount of calories to loose weight, and cut yourself a little slack when you fall off the wagon...everyone falls off the wagon - just get back on.

    Thank you! Everyone here has had wonderful advice and I am going to need to tell myself daily to calm down. Take it day by day.

    To be clear when I said I was reading blogs, articles etc it's not the scammy *get skinny quick* stuff, I was reading articles by doctors, nutritionists, dieticians etc. They all have different opinions and that is when all the information started to confuse the heck out of me.
  • ktsimons
    ktsimons Posts: 294 Member
    Options
    Here's your slap! XOXOXOXO

    SLOW DOWN, WOMAN! Stop trying to change everything in a day - I know couldn't do it and it sounds like you might not be able to either...this is what worked for me:

    change one thing this week...do one thing better every day this week
    change one more thing next week...do THAT one thing every day the next week while you are still doing the thing from week one...

    And by change I mean really ONE thing...Stop trying to reinvent the wheel...just start with breakfast...Google some good 250 to 300 calorie breakfast ideas and eat a nice breakfast every day next week. Then after you have "adjusted" to that, keep doing it and add in a good 100 to 150 calorie mid morning snack. Move on to lunch, afternoon snack, then dinner - shooting for the appropriate calorie goal. I must say that I had to stop the vegetarian diet as I was exhausted and grey looking on a veggie only diet...I must have protein, so perhaps the first change is to research good vegetarian protein rich options and start learning how to prepare them in a way that makes them edible.

    Don't weigh during this time frame, accept that it might take you more than 6 weeks to completely overhaul your diet. You are trying to change the way you think and feel about food - breaking cravings as you go. Sometimes slowly is the only way to do it.

    Pay attention to your body...Eat cabbage and bloat up? Maybe cabbage isn't something you should eat a lot of...I happen to have a gluten intolerance. That doesn't mean I NEVER eat wheat...it does mean that I don't eat it very often - twice a month or so...because it HURTS!!

    Also, don't listen to the people that say you can eat fruit before 2 and dairy is the devils spawn...You need to find the amount of daily calories that will allow you to loose weight and eat that amount. It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it fits into your macros. I happen to eat very "clean" all week so that I can eat kinda rotten over the weekend and it seems to be working. Check out the websites that you can check your BMR and TDEE - then tweak your calorie intake until you start to loose.

    Finally - please take it easy on yourself...stop doing so much research...the folks that make those magical diet websites don't have a corner on the market for weight loss...eat more "real" food than processed, find the right amount of calories to loose weight, and cut yourself a little slack when you fall off the wagon...everyone falls off the wagon - just get back on.

    Thank you! Everyone here has had wonderful advice and I am going to need to tell myself daily to calm down. Take it day by day.

    To be clear when I said I was reading blogs, articles etc it's not the scammy *get skinny quick* stuff, I was reading articles by doctors, nutritionists, dieticians etc. They all have different opinions and that is when all the information started to confuse the heck out of me.

    that's because a particular diet doesn't work for every person that tries it. all bodies are different. find your calorie goal, log your food, moderate exercise. if you see a loss, great, stay there. if you don't - or it is over 1.5 pounds, move that calorie target up or down. And remember, look at your caloric intake as a weekly goal...no beating yourself up if you flop one day...work it out the next day.

    Take care...
  • janettebishop940
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    I'm a master of over complicating things. Especially when emotions are involved. So I do this

    Filling breakfast 300
    Early lunch 300
    Dinner at 5pm 300
    Chocolate bar of choice 250
    Cereal 150

    I don't try and be ultra healthy just sandwich for lunch and dinner with at least one veg.
    Any calories left over build up for eating out.
  • Stage14
    Stage14 Posts: 1,046 Member
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    I just eat in moderation. I have a realistic calorie goal, with a small deficit, and I try to hit 40/30/30 macros, but it doesnt always happen. I do limit refined grains like white bread and pasta, but that really has more to do with my husband brig diabetic than anything else. Otherwise, I eat what I want to eat and just keep it within my calorie limit and macro limit as much as possible.
  • JustYandy
    JustYandy Posts: 221 Member
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    Eat a balanced meal (Food pyramid) if you don't eat meat eat nuts and beans and you wont feel like crap.Personally I can't imagine not eating meat,but if you don't eat those soy substitutes or eat meat your gonna feel like crap and tired...This is what I do...I eat when I'm hungry what ever I feel like and get in a 60 min of working out a day and try not to eat seconds on dinner:happy: oh beans and rice together make a complete protein..
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,874 Member
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    Call me old fashioned...balanced diet rich in nutrient dense whole foods, veg and fruit and lean proteins and healthy fats. That's worked pretty much since forever and is very NOT complicated. Carbs aren't the devil...they're just the most recent boogie man...carbs afternoon is just some further stupification of something that is already very stupid.

    That said, most people eating the SAD and not exercising regularly could benefit from carb reduction...but again, it's taking carb reduction and reduction of highly processed carbs and "junk" food to stupefied levels and all of a sudden a whole, natural food like a potato is some how bad for you.

    When in doubt, use common sense...I know...it's not that common anymore. Also keep in mind that the diet and fitness industry is just like any other...their first priority is $$$, not your health or well being.
  • lucystacy71
    lucystacy71 Posts: 290 Member
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    There is a lot of conflicting information out there that can terribly confusing. As other people have said, it's far better to set a reasonable calorie goal and just try and stick to it. I didn't give up any food (except for soda, but that's a different). I just learned to eat the foods I liked in moderation. For me, the problem was that I didn't eat many fruits and veggies, so I made sure to add some to each day. I added some simple exercise each day - mostly just walking, and so far I've been successful.

    Don't aim for perfection. No one's perfect. Just aim for being a better you with slow, simple steps. Good luck to you!