Daniel's 1 Year Anniversary

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brillmer
brillmer Posts: 1,268 Member
http://imgur.com/a/3ndWs#0

^Pictures

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THIS IS NOT A SHORT POST.



Around a year has passed since I first decided that it was time to change my life for the better. I figured I should share my story for those of you who don't know it. For those of you who do..Well.. Read it again ****ers :P


The beginning… September 2012... I was significantly overweight (5'7 and over 240 pounds), I was depressed, I had no self-confidence or self-worth... And I was allowing myself to coast through life in mediocrity.

One day I realized this isn't good enough. Not for me.

I started with small and simple changes. Stop eating out all the time, stop drinking coke and sprite with every lunch, dinner and snack. Aim to eat healthier and cleaner options, aka fresh and homemade food over processed fast food and ready-made frozen crap.

It was definitely hard at the start.. But over time, as I saw progression.. It became easier.

The progress pictures were my game changer. Literally seeing my body slowly transform due to the effort I put in caused me to want to continue. It motivated me to keep going. Sure, I didn't look anywhere close to what I wanted... But the sheer fact that the physical parts were noticeably being changed.. Was enough to keep me on track.

From September 2012 to December 2012 I had lost about 30 pounds. This was done strictly through changing my eating habits.

Cue my birthday and December break... I let go and enjoyed myself.

January 2013, back on track.

Weighing in around 200.. On January 1st I decided I would do something that thousands of other people do. I was going to sign up to the gym. I promised myself that I would be the one that actually stuck with it.

I began counting my calories and monitoring my macro intake. This was an eye opener. It allowed me to really get a better idea of how food and nutrition works. It allowed me to understand what items I should be aiming to put into my body (complex carbs, healthy fats and lots of protein) vs what I should be avoiding (processed foods, simple carbs, sugars, trans fat and others).

For the first couple months I really was just working out aimlessly. Random muscle splits based off what I read on the internet coupled with random cardio.. Usually 20 mins on the elliptical before or after my weights.



Due to my clean eating, I continued to lose weight at a slow and steady pace. After 1 month of my aimless working out and tracking calories, I was down to 190. After another month of the same.. I remained at 190. I noticed a change in my body composition (looked like I was still losing fat, but the weight on the scale was not moving)

I decided it was time to change things up. I re-calculated my caloric intake and realized I was actually under eating by quite a bit. I could have been netting 2000+ calories and still be losing weight… As opposed to the 1500-1600 calories I was netting for a few months (lack of education and knowledge can really deter ones progress!)



So.. Even though it seemed counter intuitive and the opposite of logical.. I decided to up my calories and start eating more. I would still eat incredibly clean and healthy.. Just more (I actually reduced my carbs and was doing intermittent fasting here as well). I switched from random workout splits and decided to look into an actual weightlifting program. I found StrongLifts 5x5.



For March and April.. I did StrongLift 5x5 (a weightlifting program designed around the idea of using compound muscle movements to build a base of strength, rather than doing isolation exercises) 3x a week and continued to eat clean and healthy.. Netting around 1800-2000 calories. I continued to lose weight, approximately 8 pounds a month.



After about 8 weeks of Strong Lifts.. I sustained a back injury at hockey. This was in early May. Unfortunately, I had to stop doing StrongLifts. I continued to eat healthy and focus on legs/cardio/any type of light weight workouts I could do – I went back to splits.. As it allowed to me isolate on specific muscles, and avoid the exercises which hurt my back.



A month had gone by and it was June. I was in the best shape of my life.. And my back was slowly but surely coming back to 100%.. Or at least as close to 100% I could get to (I’ve had back issues since I was 14).



I decided I was going to try doing Kris Gethins 12-week Trainer from www.bodybuilding.com. It had always been a goal of mine to try and complete this workout.. But it was always incredibly intimidating to me and I didn’t think I could understand any of the exercises.



Now that I finally had some knowledge on the basics of weight lifting, working out, and even nutrition.. I felt like it was time to give it a go.



I did the program for the first 3-4 weeks without a hitch. It was an incredibly intense and hard program that consisted of 40 minutes of cardio DAILY, with at least 30m–1hr30m of weights. The weight component was broken down into groups. Back and biceps, Chest and triceps, Shoulders/Calves/Abs and of course Legs. Fast forward to the end of June and unfortunately, again, I injure myself at hockey. This time my wrist.



I was pretty demoralized at this. I worked so incredibly hard and every time I was finally getting to a point where I was happy with my progression.. I would get injured. Unfortunately, this time I wasn’t as strong as the first injury.



I let my inability to lift spiral me into my old habits. For 2 weeks I completely disregarded calories and the healthy lifestyle I had worked so hard to instill in myself. After some self-loathing and unwarranted depression.. I snapped out of it.



Even if I was injured.. It didn’t mean I had to eat unhealthy. It didn’t mean I had to stop doing cardio or stop working on my legs.. It just meant I’d have to take a break on my upper body work…. Luckily for me I didn’t actually break my wrist.. Just a severe sprain and was told to stay off it for at least 4 weeks and definitely stay away from hockey.

So… Back on track… July. I was weighing in at around 170. I was in the best shape I have ever been in. I had a new found self-confidence and self-worth I didn’t even know existed. I felt GOOD.

Next thing I knew it was August.. And even my wrist was starting to feel better. I didn’t want to do any actual workouts on upper body.. But the semi finals of my hockey league was coming up and my team needed me to play, or we’d forfeit. So, like a moron.. I decided I would play hockey on an injured wrist in mid August.

SNAP. Broke my wrist. 3 days before my vacation to Jamaica (towards the end of August). See.. I had no intention of eating healthy or monitoring myself while I was in Jamaica for an all inclusive vacation…. But after I got back..*Insert self pity.* The realization that the broken wrist meant I could not do any upper body or lifting for AT LEAST 8 weeks hit me hard. I stopped giving a **** about everything.



I stopped tracking calories. I stopped eating healthy. I stopped going to the gym at all. I stopped doing cardio, I stopped doing legs.. I stopped doing everything. I used to be on the wall of the gym every month for going 22+times per month. In August.. I maybe went 5 times total.



Even now.. To this day (September 16th).. I am still struggling to be consistent. I work out.. at best maybe 3 times a week now (I’ve been to the gym maybe 7 times this month so far.. max). I find myself snacking or picking at unhealthy garbage DAILY… And while my overall caloric intake is probably around my maintenance.. I am not eating clean. I am not being healthy anymore. During the week I am better.. Breakfasts and lunch’s are almost always healthy… But dinners.. And the weekends.. (especially Sunday for football)… Oh dear god.



So anyway. Here I am…. A year after I started. Around 80 pounds lighter (last time I checked I was 160.. I’m probably around 160-165) and still struggling with the same issues I had exactly 1 year ago.



What is the point of this post? A few things I guess.



#1. To remind myself of how far I have come. In the past year I have lost 80 pounds and cut my body fat % in half. I went from being a depressed individual to someone who now has self-confidence and self-worth.. And actually believes he matters.



#2. To prove and show to everyone else that this is not some quick fix. This is going to be a struggle literally for the rest of my life.. But it’s a struggle that will be worth it when I reach my goal. You will never be perfect. Perfection is unrealistic. Progression however –is not. Try your best to be perfect.. But don’t get down on yourself when you fail or slip up. Its completely normal and natural. The most important thing is being able to get back on track and do what needs to be done.



#3. To keep myself accountable. I am sick and tired of sabotaging my own efforts. I’ll be incredibly healthy an entire week.. And then on the weekend I will undo all the hard work, self-discipline, and control I fought through earlier in the week.



#4. To say goodbye. It is with a heavy heart that I have decided to step away from MFP and take a break. That doesn’t mean I will be deactivating.. I will just be far less active. I need to prove to myself that I can do this.. On my own. I don’t want to count calories for the rest of my life, I shouldn’t need to see other peoples progression to keep myself motivated, and most importantly, I shouldn’t need the support of others to ensure I keep myself on the right track. This is something I WANT. This is something I NEED. Therefore it is something I should be doing by myself.



I would like to point out that I would be absolutely nowhere without MyFitnessPal and www.reddit.com/r/loseit. These 2 communities were the driving force in my success.. and I want to thank every single one of you from the bottom of my heart. You literally changed my life.



Some things I’ve learned throughout my journey:



#1. This is not, and CANNOT be a quick fix. This has to be a lifestyle change. It’s about making a realistically and sustainable lifestyle for yourself moving forward. You won’t gain 100 pounds by having 1 burger, the same way you won’t lose 100 pounds by having 1 salad. It’s about the overall, long term.



#2. It really does come down to calories in vs calories out. What does this mean? Go to a website and find out your caloric maintenance (the number of calories you need to stay the same weight). From here, either subtract a few hundred calories daily (if your goal is weight loss), or add a few hundred calories daily (if your goal is weight gain). The rest is complete and utter bull****. It doesn’t matter whether you have a high carb diet, low carb diet, no carb diet, whether you are intermittent fasting or blah blah blah blah. All that matters is the overall calories. Obviously, in the grand scheme of things, you’re better off having 2000 calories of a balanced diet with complex carbs, healthy fats and proteins as opposed to 2000 calories of donuts.. But I digress.



#3. Weight loss is not easy, but it is SIMPLE. It really comes down to a few simple things. Self control, dedication, discipline.. and most importantly.. ACTUALLY WANTING IT. I can’t tell you how many times I tried to lose weight .. but the truth is.. I never really wanted it. This is the first time I refused to fail and I really wanted to make a change.. and it’s definitely working.



#4. Take ****ing progress pictures. I can’t count the number of times where I felt demoralized or like I was making no progression because the stupid scale wasn’t changing. It was progress pictures that allowed me to see the changes that were happening to my body, despite what the scale said. So, do yourself a favor, and take lots of progress pictures. I would do 3 different pictures (front, side and back) at least once a month. Usually, every 2 weeks. You can see in my progress pictures why this ended up being an amazing idea.



#5. Allow yourself margin for error. Nobody is perfect. You will **** up, it’s just about getting back on track immediately afterwards. I had this terrible habit of completely hating myself and being emo the day after I ate something unhealthy, and it was reflected on the scale. It was only recently that I realized that it’s about the long term, and one ‘unhealthy’ meal won’t slow down my progression or dictate my feelings. It’s really important not to beat yourself in that sense. I’m the type of guy where I ate 1 unhealthy thing.. and my scumbag brain would say.. Oh well today’s ruined, you already ate that ****, so you might as well eat this **** and this **** and this and this etc. Well ,a friend made a good point. If you were walking and fell in ****.. Would you say.. “well, I’m already in ****.. I might as well roll around it in for a few more hours”.. .NO. You’d get up.. and continue your day of NOT WALKING IN ****. Same logic applies, just slightly less gross J



#6 Do some research. I literally would spend 30m-1hr every day researching information about nutrition and basic workouts. This allowed me to get a better understanding of everything I was going through.. and now I have an amazing understanding of how the human body works when it comes to workouts, weight loss and weight gain. When you understand everything, trust me, it helps.



I feel like I’m rambling now so again, I just wanted to say from the bottom of my heart – thank you to each and every one of you. Even the people I didn’t talk to daily… You have had a huge impact on my success.



With love, admiration, and a heavy heart..



Daniel



(think of this more as a see you around, then a goodbye)
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Replies

  • askeates
    askeates Posts: 1,490 Member
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    I have read your story a couple times now and absolutely :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: it! YOU ROCK!
  • brillmer
    brillmer Posts: 1,268 Member
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    I have read your story a couple times now and absolutely :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: it! YOU ROCK!

    Thank you :) That's incredibly sweet
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
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    Congrats!
  • QuietBloom
    QuietBloom Posts: 5,413 Member
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    Best to you and congratulations on your incredible transformation! I would say your photos are an excellent illustration of how 'hanging' skin during weight loss resolves itself when the fat under it is eliminated.
  • thesophierose
    thesophierose Posts: 754 Member
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    You are so beast :)
  • cbrick143
    cbrick143 Posts: 26 Member
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    bump
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    Awesome! Congratulations :)
  • beckademic
    beckademic Posts: 69 Member
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    #5. Allow yourself margin for error. Nobody is perfect. You will **** up, it’s just about getting back on track immediately afterwards. I had this terrible habit of completely hating myself and being emo the day after I ate something unhealthy, and it was reflected on the scale. It was only recently that I realized that it’s about the long term, and one ‘unhealthy’ meal won’t slow down my progression or dictate my feelings. It’s really important not to beat yourself in that sense. I’m the type of guy where I ate 1 unhealthy thing.. and my scumbag brain would say.. Oh well today’s ruined, you already ate that ****, so you might as well eat this **** and this **** and this and this etc. Well ,a friend made a good point. If you were walking and fell in ****.. Would you say.. “well, I’m already in ****.. I might as well roll around it in for a few more hours”.. .NO. You’d get up.. and continue your day of NOT WALKING IN ****. Same logic applies, just slightly less gross J

    This!
  • teresamwhite
    teresamwhite Posts: 947 Member
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    Amazing! Good on ya for everything you've been through to make you a healthier you!

    (And good point about the pictures...I didn't want to take my measurements when I started because I simply did not want to know exaactly how big i was...opting to just see the changes in the way my clothes fit, but I am regretting that decision now.)
  • lovinlife22
    lovinlife22 Posts: 13 Member
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    GREAT job!!!!! So proud of you!
  • mikemsu
    mikemsu Posts: 77 Member
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    Hey Daniel - Congrats again on your transformation, success and struggles. Do check in on us once in a while - gonna miss your posts. You are a successful person, just give yourself a break now and then. Best of luck to you ...
  • Papillon22
    Papillon22 Posts: 1,160 Member
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    Congrats on your loss and thank you for your honesty. I know I sometimes see the finish line as the moment where everything comes together and I have it all figured out...thanks again.
  • m76b
    m76b Posts: 1,498 Member
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    you know IM GOING TO MISS U....:cry:

    you are awesome sweetie!!
  • flowersofdawn
    flowersofdawn Posts: 47 Member
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    #5. Allow yourself margin for error. Nobody is perfect. You will **** up, it’s just about getting back on track immediately afterwards. I had this terrible habit of completely hating myself and being emo the day after I ate something unhealthy, and it was reflected on the scale. It was only recently that I realized that it’s about the long term, and one ‘unhealthy’ meal won’t slow down my progression or dictate my feelings. It’s really important not to beat yourself in that sense. I’m the type of guy where I ate 1 unhealthy thing.. and my scumbag brain would say.. Oh well today’s ruined, you already ate that ****, so you might as well eat this **** and this **** and this and this etc. Well ,a friend made a good point. If you were walking and fell in ****.. Would you say.. “well, I’m already in ****.. I might as well roll around it in for a few more hours”.. .NO. You’d get up.. and continue your day of NOT WALKING IN ****. Same logic applies, just slightly less gross J

    This!

    Exactly! I am terrible at this evil self-talk even when I give advise to friends that this is the way to think - one cookie won't screw up your day, kind of thing.

    I am inspired by your post and so happy for you that you have accomplished it while noting these realizations. It gives a stab of motivation and hope to those of us that are also in that moment of making a lifestyle change.
  • tabik30
    tabik30 Posts: 443
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    You look great! Best of luck!
  • brillmer
    brillmer Posts: 1,268 Member
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    Thank you all for your incredibly kind words <3
  • vanillacoffee
    vanillacoffee Posts: 1,024 Member
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    Happy one year! Posted this on your wall already, but I hope you get what you want from your break & continue to take things one day at a time. Youve done a great job, & I am sure will continue to! :)
  • AleciaG724
    AleciaG724 Posts: 705 Member
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    Wow - I am so impressed! Thanks for sharing!
  • quellybelly
    quellybelly Posts: 827 Member
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    I have to publicly announce how awesome I think you are again?! I'm running out of words, so I'll keep it short and sweet with a tad of cheeeeze (as is my style :p)...

    I've always been in awe of how determined you are to get back on track whenever you fall off the fitness wagon and then how hard you push once you get your head back in the game. You've been a source of motivation for me since we've met and I hope that you remember that you have inspired me and so many others - read all above posts for evidence! I hope you achieve what you want in both fitness and life with whatever you decide to do - you deserve it. Thanks for being incredible Daniel :)

    <3 always
    Quel
  • srgtbiggles
    srgtbiggles Posts: 170 Member
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    Great post. You've done an amazing job. Best of luck to you.
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