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Frustrated with others. :-(
Today I had the same conversation I've had with at least 5 people since starting my weight loss journey. And as always, I hit a brick wall.
Generally it goes like this: People compliment me on how well I'm doing and ask me how its done. I simply say:
" Im using MFP. I'm eating what I want, when I want, in moderation. No diet necessary, I'm just logging calories. There's an app that lets me track with ease what I'm eating. I've lost 25lbs still eating Pizza and chocolate! "
I simply get the look of:
I've suggested this to so many people in my life who have struggled for longer than me. But no-one seems to be interested. I'm definitely not one to push my ideas or beliefs on others, so I try a bit of soft encouragement, its not worked thus far. So I leave it at that. I'm not giving this information out to boast, not at all! I want people to get to where I'm at now - happy!
Take my Dad, for example. Hes 60, and been 26 stone or above all my life. I've seen him go through Atkins, Weight Watchers, Soup Diets, etc. I sent him an email about MFP and got a " I'll look into it. "
A friend has been doing a purely shake diet, ( NO food. ) she can drop 2 stone in 2 months. She eats and it piles back on again every time. She goes to this shake diet whenever she has an event coming up. She wont allow pictures to be taken at any time as she hates the way she looks.
Another friend is on a new fad every week, and if she doesn't see results within a few days she changes it up. She's on 3 different kinds of diet pills, ( she takes pure ephedra ) doing shakes, insanity and goes to the gym. Yet, she's gaining or stalling. And she can't hide how upset she is over my loss, even though she is obviously working far harder at her own weight loss journey. She's been dieting for at least 5 years now - so most of my suggestions fall on death ears, as she's read so much information online that she thinks I'm talking bull. ( She'll never admit that, but its obvious! )
I guess I'm just frustrated that when you tell people that simply eating at a deficit is enough to begin with, they'll never believe you until they try it for themselves. After telling someone about MFP today, she phones me to say " I'm doing Slimming World, so excited! " - Fair enough. But why do that when I've just showed her another way that means you DON'T have to give up and restrict so much? Especially since she's done slimming world 3 times now and hates it!! :noway:
Sorry for the rant, and I realise I sound completely full of myself and a know-it-all, but I just feel like people think they either have to eat veg for the rest of their lives or constantly be hungry, or they wont lose. This was me 3 months ago!
Oh well, I suppose I should be happy I'M doing well. But like I said in a previous post, I wish a MFP account was mandatory! lol And I realise I will get a lot of " Why are you worrying about others?" - but I guess this post is really to see if any of you have experienced the same type of thing.
Generally it goes like this: People compliment me on how well I'm doing and ask me how its done. I simply say:
" Im using MFP. I'm eating what I want, when I want, in moderation. No diet necessary, I'm just logging calories. There's an app that lets me track with ease what I'm eating. I've lost 25lbs still eating Pizza and chocolate! "
I simply get the look of:
I've suggested this to so many people in my life who have struggled for longer than me. But no-one seems to be interested. I'm definitely not one to push my ideas or beliefs on others, so I try a bit of soft encouragement, its not worked thus far. So I leave it at that. I'm not giving this information out to boast, not at all! I want people to get to where I'm at now - happy!
Take my Dad, for example. Hes 60, and been 26 stone or above all my life. I've seen him go through Atkins, Weight Watchers, Soup Diets, etc. I sent him an email about MFP and got a " I'll look into it. "
A friend has been doing a purely shake diet, ( NO food. ) she can drop 2 stone in 2 months. She eats and it piles back on again every time. She goes to this shake diet whenever she has an event coming up. She wont allow pictures to be taken at any time as she hates the way she looks.
Another friend is on a new fad every week, and if she doesn't see results within a few days she changes it up. She's on 3 different kinds of diet pills, ( she takes pure ephedra ) doing shakes, insanity and goes to the gym. Yet, she's gaining or stalling. And she can't hide how upset she is over my loss, even though she is obviously working far harder at her own weight loss journey. She's been dieting for at least 5 years now - so most of my suggestions fall on death ears, as she's read so much information online that she thinks I'm talking bull. ( She'll never admit that, but its obvious! )
I guess I'm just frustrated that when you tell people that simply eating at a deficit is enough to begin with, they'll never believe you until they try it for themselves. After telling someone about MFP today, she phones me to say " I'm doing Slimming World, so excited! " - Fair enough. But why do that when I've just showed her another way that means you DON'T have to give up and restrict so much? Especially since she's done slimming world 3 times now and hates it!! :noway:
Sorry for the rant, and I realise I sound completely full of myself and a know-it-all, but I just feel like people think they either have to eat veg for the rest of their lives or constantly be hungry, or they wont lose. This was me 3 months ago!
Oh well, I suppose I should be happy I'M doing well. But like I said in a previous post, I wish a MFP account was mandatory! lol And I realise I will get a lot of " Why are you worrying about others?" - but I guess this post is really to see if any of you have experienced the same type of thing.
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Replies
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I think it is all about priorities. It is not a priority for them so they will not take it seriously. Once they make it their priority, they will be asking again about the name of that site that they can log their food and calories. I am glad someone told me about MFP.
And yes, i get the same look from others when they ask me about how i have lost 45 pounds and I tell them about MFP....0 -
Your right. my nephew told me about MFP so I joined in Jan 2012. Obviously it didnt stick because I didnt even use it until July 2013. So Im one to talk really, aren't I! haha
Your absolutely spot on about it becoming priority. One day, I woke up and realised I had HAD it. That was it, I was doing it and never giving up. Not gained a lb since.0 -
I agree with the statement about priorities.
I've had similiar discussions with family / co-workers...with the same type of responses.0 -
when anyone asks me how I've lost my weight, I just say I'm training for a half marathon at the end of next year and exercising a lot (not a lie). I don't even mention my diet. I eat either baja fresh or a deli sandwich for lunch every day and have booze on the weekends, so they really do honestly think I'm not on a diet and just exercising a lot. it's great and no one asks any further questions cause they don't wanna exercise. it's not my job to educate the masses on how to lose weight, if they want to learn about it they will do it on their own time.0
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when anyone asks me how I've lost my weight, I just say I'm training for a half marathon at the end of next year and exercising a lot (not a lie). I don't even mention my diet. I eat either baja fresh or a deli sandwich for lunch every day and have booze on the weekends, so they really do honestly think I'm not on a diet and just exercising a lot. it's great and no one asks any further questions cause they don't wanna exercise. it's not my job to educate the masses on how to lose weight, if they want to learn about it they will do it on their own time.
True!
But when people are really interested, let you take the time to show them that's where its annoying. I don't tend to tell people what Im doing unless they ask if they can join me.
But as a previous poster said, its about making it priority. At the end of the day, some people will just moan about it their entire lives, they possibly lack the inner strength or motivation we all have in common.0 -
I am not sure I understand the comment. generally when people ask how I've lost weight, it's because they also would like to lose weight. however, they want nothing to do with my simple "calories in, calories out" explanation. for example, one of my co-workers is in her late 40s or early 50s. after asking me how I lost weight she went into a huge ramble about how she wishes she could, but it's impossible because of her metabolism. I didn't want to argue, so I just let her go on and on and on. the next day she came in and announced that she was going to do a diet that would fix her metabolism! I asked her, "the diet where you eat less and move more?" thinking she had done some research.
no. not the case. she said, "well, that, AND I'm going to go to a doctor who specializes in metabolisms and he is going to do some injections on me!" it took me a moment before I realized she meant HCG. I was horrified and I told her that it was NOT a safe diet plan and that the drug has been banned from being sold OTC by the FDA. no matter what I told her, she seemed disinterested in what I had to say because she was convinced her metabolism was broken.
luckily, she went to the doctor and decided against it. I had told her that the only reason she was going to lose weight while on HCG was the 500 calorie diet. she believed it would suppress her appetite, but I emailed her a link showing that patients following the 500 calorie diet plan lost weight at the same rate, regardless of whether they were actually on HCG or were instead taking a placebo.
this is the only time I've gotten involved because I honestly felt responsible for this woman wanting to do HCG. I know it wasn't my fault, but I was just happy I was able to help her decide against it. she and one of my other coworkers are now on the 5:2 diet and seeing some great results - not my first choice but I'm happy they're happy with it. they decided on this after I explained to them that the CONCEPT of weight loss was remarkably simple (calories in, calories out), but the PRACTICE of it could be very difficult. I told them it was important to find a method that would work for them in achieving a calorie deficit.
this was a long winded explanation but, basically, is a really good example of why I would rather not have to provide any explanations to people regarding my weight loss. recently I've just been kind of shrugging it off because of this story.0 -
I think its because people don't want to hear that you lost weight by counting calories and working out. They most likely would rather believe there is some kind of quick fix diet.0
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I AGREE!
Oh goodness. I indulge in the occasional sundae or McFlurry once in awhile, and I make sure its within my daily allowance. And i always ALWAYS get the 'You say you're on a diet, but you go and eat a huge cup of ice cream." And no matter how much I try to explain that this isn't a DIET persay, its a lifestyle change, AND if I just restrict what i like and not eat it at all, I'm not going to get anywhere, no one listens. >.<
What is it about this mindset that to lose weight, you must eat food that don't taste good/bland, and starve? =.=0 -
I am not sure I understand the comment. generally when people ask how I've lost weight, it's because they also would like to lose weight. however, they want nothing to do with my simple "calories in, calories out" explanation. for example, one of my co-workers is in her late 40s or early 50s. after asking me how I lost weight she went into a huge ramble about how she wishes she could, but it's impossible because of her metabolism. I didn't want to argue, so I just let her go on and on and on. the next day she came in and announced that she was going to do a diet that would fix her metabolism! I asked her, "the diet where you eat less and move more?" thinking she had done some research.
no. not the case. she said, "well, that, AND I'm going to go to a doctor who specializes in metabolisms and he is going to do some injections on me!" it took me a moment before I realized she meant HCG. I was horrified and I told her that it was NOT a safe diet plan and that the drug has been banned from being sold OTC by the FDA. no matter what I told her, she seemed disinterested in what I had to say because she was convinced her metabolism was broken.
luckily, she went to the doctor and decided against it. I had told her that the only reason she was going to lose weight while on HCG was the 500 calorie diet. she believed it would suppress her appetite, but I emailed her a link showing that patients following the 500 calorie diet plan lost weight at the same rate, regardless of whether they were actually on HCG or were instead taking a placebo.
this is the only time I've gotten involved because I honestly felt responsible for this woman wanting to do HCG. I know it wasn't my fault, but I was just happy I was able to help her decide against it. she and one of my other coworkers are now on the 5:2 diet and seeing some great results - not my first choice but I'm happy they're happy with it. they decided on this after I explained to them that the CONCEPT of weight loss was remarkably simple (calories in, calories out), but the PRACTICE of it could be very difficult. I told them it was important to find a method that would work for them in achieving a calorie deficit.
this was a long winded explanation but, basically, is a really good example of why I would rather not have to provide any explanations to people regarding my weight loss. recently I've just been kind of shrugging it off because of this story.
Wow, well done for helping her out of what was about to be a dodgy decision! My friend is like this. " I'll do what you do PLUS Ive just bought this £200 low cal eal plan that gets delivered to my door " and Im thinking. How about just do what I do WITHOUT the extras? No boosters needed!
I even considered HCG at one point but read a couple of articles and thought " Oh hell no..." the same with pills. I found they worked, but only because I was very concious of what I was eating whilst on them! I didn't want them to be a waste of money. Now I realise I'm losing at the exact same rate, with no pills.
Since Im still new to this journey, I suppose I'm just learning that people will do what they want. We've all seen the slogans of " BEST DIET EVER. GUARANTEED 20lbs loss a month!! " - so I guess to them, why should my own endorsement be any different? Its so hard when your trying to chose what road to go down when every diet has outlandish claims. It seems the simple answer seems unrealistic! haha0 -
Agree with everyone.
When I started a had a friend help me who had already lost weight himself. The best piece of advice I've ever gotten was from him: dont listen to anyone else, they all have their own agendas. Is it working for you, and lasting? Keep it up.
I have experienced this at least once a week, with friends saying "you dont need to lose more" (you dont know my weight, or my goals!") " you should be XYZ not ABC," (nope) "how are you losing so much weight and you hate vegetables?" (MAGIC)
Keep doing what you do!
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Don't worry about what others think! Be proud of your accomplishments and forget them!:happy:0
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I think the most important thing to remember is that people do not like to be wrong and their way is the best way, especially with a topic as sensitive as weight loss. it's a losing battle so like another poster said, if it's working for you keep at it and don't listen to anyone else.
I still think the best advice is to NOT say you are dieting at all. that way you don't receive any criticism, and if you do experience a noticeable weight loss, play it off. "oh, wow, I have been exercising more, it must be working!"
TL;DR is people kinda suck.
eta: and by don't listen to anyone else I mean only don't listen to them if they are not more knowledgeable than you. I can think of a few posters on this board who I will always listen to because of their expertise.0
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