Hello! I'm Jeni, and I'm done with excuses

Jenidmp
Jenidmp Posts: 3 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hello MFP community. I've been here for a couple of months but haven't started in earnest. Oh sure, I had an initial burst of commitment right out of the gate and lost several pounds but I think that was "enthusiasm weight loss" and was very, very temporary. It wasn't the true and necessary change of heart and mind and habit that is required to reverse the weight gain I have experienced these last few years.

"If you really want it, you'll find a way. And if you really don't, you'll find an excuse."

I have had -- and still have -- a lot of excuses for being unfit and overweight. Busy work and volunteer life, two young children, not enough money (for gym membership, organic food, counseling, babysitters, or whatever other "magic" thing is supposed to make losing weight EASY), a husband with an erratic and demanding schedule (meaning it's "all left up to me to manage"), etc.

But I really want to be fit again. Truly. So I'm finding a way.

I know it will require change in my daily habit and will test my apparently wimpy will power, but there are many resources to help me figure it all out. And I guess that includes all of you. I have never been good about asking for help from other people and have probably taken a bit of pride in being self-sufficient. But it isn't working for me in all regards.

I need help figuring out:
meal planning
will power
time management
stick-to-it-iveness

I've been reading about BMR and TDEE and it makes a lot of sense to me. More than the 1200 calorie recommendation from MFP. But I have also read a lot of other things and sometimes it feels so overwhelmingly confusing as to what to do, what to eat. I'm looking for simple, doable, real, practical.

But mostly I'm looking to drop all my excuses and just get on with it.

Replies

  • redcon1228
    redcon1228 Posts: 28
    Good on you for deciding that the excuses were over.

    I was a husband like yours for many years whlle in the miltary. I hope he appreciates you for all you manage and supports you in your goals!

    Find the time to exercise in addition to eating right. I purchased a treadmill for my better half so she could work out anytime that was available anot not have to go to the gym

    Not much else to add other than be strong in your committment; you can do this if you want it!
  • Jenidmp
    Jenidmp Posts: 3 Member
    Thanks for the encouragement!
  • simsburyjet
    simsburyjet Posts: 999 Member
    Wake up everyday and say how can I be fitter today.. That is your goal everyday no excuses.. Keep moving all day.
    Write down or use this site for all food.. Exercise every day. Do strength training of some sort.
  • airant
    airant Posts: 146 Member
    you can do it. I have a full time job and two children as well as a husband like yours. so I get up at 4:30 am 5 days a week and workout before work. I go to the gym is close and no expensive ($20/month) but you can do it at home get your self some weights and jump rope. womenshealth.com has a lot of circuit. I hope it help. feel free to add me. Good luck
  • commodus192
    commodus192 Posts: 18
    My girlfriend has been loyal to her calorie goals on here for 40 days and has lost 20 pounds, and like you, had enough of excuses. We both are religious to sticking with the diary and doing some cardio every day. If you can just really try hard to stick with this for 30 days, you will see and feel the difference, and get to a point where you really enjoy the cardio and healthier/portion control eating! I've lost my potbelly, knocked out soda and also remain faithful to the calorie counts and cardio. I wish you luck - you really can do it!
  • Ginny2bskinny
    Ginny2bskinny Posts: 15
    That's awesome that you are brutally honest with yourself! I too struggle with the stick-tuitiveness. This site has really helped me to stay interested and inspired.

    I have gone from opening my food diary to closing it and back again. What I have found most helpful is building a manageable network of friends to follow on here. I say manageable because if you get more than you can respond to and encourage/praise, it loses its effectiveness (at least its that way for me).

    My smartphone app is my key to remembering to log it. When I used to do Weight Watchers back in the day and I carried around the little check off sheet, my mantra was "you bite it, you write it!" Well now it's just plain log it on the phone. I love the bar code scanner feature.

    This is a journey of a lifestyle and remember that the road to success is always under construction. You may hit a few pot holes and detours along the way, but don't give up, just get right back on here and be accountable. I would love to invite you to be my MFP friend and support your progress!
  • smaihlee
    smaihlee Posts: 171 Member
    Way to go, Jeni! Sounds like you have developed the right mindset for achieving your goals, and you're definitely in the right place. I've been in your shoes, and coming to this realization (after a loooooong time) was what finally helped me get off my butt and make progress. Funny that you mention that quote--I actually have a version of that on my profile page :)

    I think in addition to the things you have listed, you should further detail the specific obstacles you'd like help with but also what your current situation is. You hinted at that in your post, but more details would be helpful.

    There is nothing "easy" about this, and once you realize that you will probably have to make some sacrifices in order to better yourself, you will have a big part of the battle out of the way.

    The good news? YOU ARE WORTH IT. YOU CAN DO THIS. What's more, you don't have to have a gym membership or eat organic food or starve yourself to make it happen.

    Feel free to add me as a friend for support and encouragement.
  • Inshape13
    Inshape13 Posts: 680 Member
    I think that the most helpful thing I have done along the way is ask myself the same exact question when it comes to food or activity or excuses....."Will this get me to my goal?" There are only 2 responses- Yes or No. You can pick either one of them, but in the end what will make you successful is knowing that when you pick No, it is one step further away from your goal. It is always your choice to make because you have free will, but this takes the emotion out of it. Don't get me wrong, sometimes I will eat the whole chocolate bar because I am pissed, sad, depressed, or whatever, but I am fully aware that I am turning away from my end goal and that is not the path I have chosen any longer to live and it has been hard and yet doable. Best of luck to you and I will send you friend request and PM me with any thing you are wondering about, I know the beginning seems like a lot to deal with, but you will get there. Best wishes!
  • AngelaArlene51
    AngelaArlene51 Posts: 4 Member
    Hi Jeni :smile: My name is Angela and i am done with excuses too! I have been on here for awhile off and on and your post pretty much described me .Thanks so much! You just encouraged me.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    This is a good model for filling out your diary and still allowing yourself a treat. Best of luck to you!

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/925464-fitting-it-in-giggity
  • clownfear_7
    clownfear_7 Posts: 59
    Awesome, awesome, awesome!
    It sounds like you have hit your rock bottom and know that you must get up.
    My two cents is to keep it simple. Eat moderate portions of good, healthy foods (the more natural and organic the better). Drink a lot of water. Cut out as much processed foods as possible (drinks also).
    Exercise daily. Start somewhere so that you increase your heart rate for 20 minutes. Go up from there!
    Try not to over complicate it so that you are more likely to follow through with it.
    Congratulations, and good luck!
  • elainecroft
    elainecroft Posts: 595 Member
    My advice: One step at a time. Pick one change and stick with it, and then incorporate others as you go. Be proud of what you accomplish, as you are accomplishing it.
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    You can do this!!! Never give up!
  • kwill4274
    kwill4274 Posts: 8
    Hi sunrise611, I really liked all your advice. I am new, like Jeni, and I will take all your advice.

    Thanks for posting it.
  • OhioMom87
    OhioMom87 Posts: 1
    Hi Jeni!
    I am new too - you are ahead of me... I don't even know what TDEE (?) and the other acronym you mentioned even is! I started with MFP 3 weeks ago.
    You've had a lot of great comments so far, so the only thing I have to add that has helped me to be mindful & plan healthy meals is watching & reading about our food supply. My favorite so far is Food Matters (you can stream this on Netflix), as well as the TED talks - there is one on GMO's and our children that is so powerful. I find it a lot easier to eat healthy & plan meals when this information is fresh in my brain :) ... I also have children, but they are in school during the day, so I do find that helps carve time out to plan meals & shop uninterrupted!

    Good luck & we're in this together :)
  • kwill4274
    kwill4274 Posts: 8
    Most of the weight that you lose in the beginning is water weight.

    My advice is to keep it simple like I did.

    When I discovered and joined MFP, I didn't know anything about TDEE and just followed the MFP guidelines. (Even after I learned about TDEE, I did not go with it.)

    I let MFP do the "heavy lifting" for me with numbers. I did not change the default settings for macros (calories, sodium, protein, etc.), though it's easy to do that if you want.

    I didn't stress over exact calories so I didn't weigh everything.

    I made it easier by eating a lot of Amy's frozen meal for dinner. It is one of the healthier processed and frozen foods that you can choose from and really tasty. They take a lot of the guesswork and counting away for you so you just log the entry and it's easier. Also, the foods are reasonable with sodium so it helps you stay within your macros.

    Eat a good variety of foods and try to eat more veggies and fruit. Don't worry about sugar in fruit like bananas, which will spike up the sugar value but is natural so it's okay.

    Avoid food that is high in sodium. It's okay to splurge on occasion (like with Chinese food) but don't make it a regular habit and you'll be better off.

    Avoid food that is high in sugar. For example, a lot of yogurts are surprisingly high in sugar. I like the low 70-cal Activia yogurt that is lower in sugar but still tasty and are great to have a "snack" between lunch and dinner.

    Be more aware of what you are eating and why. For example, I eat a serving of almonds every day for "good fat" (not just because they taste good but that helps).

    Snack on healthier goodies like dark chocolate (within the serving size) and 90-cal. Fiber One brownies.

    Avoid drinking calories and skip fruit juices and drinks high in sugar.

    Drink lots of water.

    Discover tasty flavored teas and/or green tea.

    If you do this in a way that is sustainable, it is healthier and easier to maintain in the long run. Think of the long run and go for that instead of gimmicks and a quick way to lose weight (for now).

    You can do it!
  • kwill4274
    kwill4274 Posts: 8
    What is a TDEE?
  • Jenidmp
    Jenidmp Posts: 3 Member
    Wow. I am really moved by the responses you all gave. So this is what a community feels like! I'm blown away that each and every one of you read my post and took time to encourage me. Thank you! Here I goooooooooooo!


    Kwill4274, I am by no means in a position (yet) to elaborate on TDEE, so beyond spelling out that it stands for Total Daily Energy Expenditure I will point you to this topic which clarified it initially for me:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/931670-bmr-and-tdee-explained-for-those-needing-a-guide

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