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I feel like so much of this journey is also about self discovery. I feel like I need to face things in my life that I never could before. To have a clear mind and devote all of myself to becoming healthy. But how do I let go of hurt that has affected my entire life? Where do I find the strength to just get over it and do something about it. I'm not happy with who I am psychically right now, but its hard to get out of this "frump" that I'm in. I really hope that I can actually stick this out..to be stronger then I normally am...

You'll get stronger by doing it. One day at a time you'll prove yourself and the negativity wrong. Then one day you'll wake up and feel strong

I wish I knew the answers. I can really relate to what you're saying, especially waking up to what a total life/self exploration this all is. Hang in there. You're worth the hard work!

I agree that a lot of this is self discovery. It's also been a very spiritual journey for me. The self discovery for me is pushing myself to see what I am capable of. It's incredible. I don't think weight loss in many cases is a physical challenge as much as it is a mental one.

As far as letting go of the hurt, it's 100% about forgiveness. When you've forgiven, everything that you were holding on to is let go of, and you do it to free yourself, not to make the people who hurt you feel better. It's an inward desire and action rather than an outward one. Many times the people who have hurt us deeply don't realize it or have long after moved on with their lives. You have to forgive for yourself, not for them. You will be a happier, healthier person if you do.

http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-to-forgive-someone-when-its-hard-30-tips-to-let-go-of-anger/

#16 is particularly profound for me. '

As for getting out of a "frump" take it one day and sometimes even one moment at a time. When you are feeling down, do something that will make yourself proud. For me, it has been making TONS of really small goals that I can achieve weekly and TONS of milestone goals. It feels fantastic when I get them crossed off my list! It makes me feel strong, motivated and proud of my accomplishments even though they are small. All of my goals started off small so that they were achievable and habit building. It has been amazing. Sometimes we are looking at the big picture when we decide what we want to do, but I try to focus more on simply putting one foot in front of the other when I am climbing a mountain! When I am exercising, and it's hard, I just think about how much further ahead I am than if I had stayed home on the couch.

You will get there. It will be hard. You will get stronger. It will be incredible!

Message me if you need some encouragement!