I feel depressed

itserikav
itserikav Posts: 3
in Motivation and Support
Hey guys... First of all, my english is not very good but I'm gonna try to explain myself as good as I can...

I've struggled with my weight pretty much my entire life. I always was "the fat kid" in the classroom. You know how mean and cruel kids can be, so I grew up feeling very insecure and ashamed of my body. This affected me in so many other ways... So a year and two months ago I decided it was time for a change. I weighted 236 lbs and my current weight is 160 lbs. I feel very proud of myself, but for some reason I still see that fat kid in the mirror...

When I started college I met this guy who ended up being one of my best friends. Back in March he started treating me different... he was always hugging me, and telling me how pretty I looked that day, etc... We ended up starting a relationship back in June. This guy has a really complicated personality... sometimes he acts so romantic, and the next day he doesn't want to talk at all... I tried to stay with him for as long as I could since he told me that he was very complicated but he wanted me to help him to be a better person.

I tried so hard, but he wold always get to my nerves (I'm a very VERY calm person) and I would easily get mad at him because of the way he was treating me.

Last saturday I wanted to do something special for him and I asked him out. I wanted to surprise him... I didn't know how to dance and I knew how much he loves to dance, so I learned. I put on a super sexy dress and I was ready for the dancing part. On Monday, when we were at school, he told me that he loved that I learned to dance but "I didn't have the body to wear that kind of dress, that my belly looked huge in that dress, that everybody was looking at me disgusted..." ... I felt so so so sick and sad when he was telling me this... I've worked so hard to loose the weight and he just said that...

A couple of days ago he asked me what was wrong with me, and I told him that he really hurt my feelings when he said that... and then he said that he was only telling me the truth... and all of the sudden he told me that he tought it was better for us to be just friends. When he said that I didn't know what to do other than leave the restaurant we were in.

On monday, at school, he saw me and said "hi" but he ignored me pretty much the whole time...

I feel so depressed and sad. I really don't know what to do... I've cried so much during the past days because of this situation. I feel frustrated and devastated.

Please, any advice that you have would mean the world to me... I'm writing this with tears in my eyes...

Replies

  • momzyvee
    momzyvee Posts: 12 Member
    If you have gone from 236 down to 160 lbs, you have every right to be proud of yourself. I would not want to be any kind of friend to someone who could say such mean things about me. You deserve way better.
    He is the one with problems, not you. I am sure you looked fantastic in the dress, and he had no right to say anything bad. I am sure all other people at the dance saw was one sexy lady!
  • reachingmygoal2012
    reachingmygoal2012 Posts: 17 Member
    Agreed. Someone who puts you down like that is not worthy of being called your best friend.
  • Maudlinvice
    Maudlinvice Posts: 3 Member
    To have, by your own will, changed from 236 to 160, you have done something wonderful just for yourself. Respect is definitely what I feel for that.
    Regarding that negative influence in your life, all I can really express is, would you really liked to have that about-faced attitude to continually, cyclically crop up in your life as you share your path with that person?
    You will decide for yourself, if that is the influences you want in your life. You, from your own admission, show admirable strength of will, of which means you hold value in yourself. What you have done for yourself cannot change, but what you can and will do for yourself in the future can.
    It may be that your friend wants something from you or seeks you to be something you cannot or will not be. That is up to you to decide. But I would suggest sleeping on it. Best decisions in life are done with a little bit of deliberation, touch of fear of the unknown, some determination and good old fashion gumption.
    I hope my words will help and not hinder you on your way.
  • amie709
    amie709 Posts: 99
    When we lose weight we start to think of ourselves in terms of how much we have lost instead of the weight that we are. I don't think of myself as being 200 lbs right now. I think of myself as being down 70 lbs. And, quite frankly, anyone who is in your life and knows you and cares about you should be proud of you too!!! Most people don't have perfect bodies-cause that's how God made us!! And that's fine!! Hold your head up girl-you have done an amazing thing and you wear that dress with pride ANYTIME you want!!! And if you see that guy again...tell him he has a really small d**k
  • sandytoshiko
    sandytoshiko Posts: 67 Member
    I tell this to my daughters all the time : No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. -Eleanor Roosevelt

    DO NOT GIVE THAT MORON CONSENT. I personally think he saw the transformation in you and that you did look amazing and HE felt insecure and that's really why he acted that way. You just keep doing what you are doing! Believe in yourself- I believe in you! :)

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