what? an accurate horoscope... yeah, I know, shut up!

bynsky
bynsky Posts: 15,837 Member
I don't know about the rest of you... but this is one of the few that has me pegged almost dead on. (I'm Pisces BTW, and yes, I do like to be the center of attention, and no, you may not have the last word)

*** for the record, I edited this to remove the "years of bad luck if you don't share" parts

AN ACCURATE HOROSCOPE FOR THE WHOLE YEAR 2013! THIS IS SO DEAD ON TO ME IT'S SCARY

ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.

TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

CANCER - The Beauty (June 21 to July 22)
MOST AMAZING KISSER. Very high appeal. A Cancer's love is one of a kind... Very romantic. Most caring person you will ever meet in your life. Entirely creative person, most are artists and insane, respectfully speaking. They perfected sex and do it often. Extremely random. An ultimate freak. Extremely funny and is usually the life of the party. Most Cancers will take you under their wing and into their hearts where you will remain forever. Cancers make love with a passion beyond compare. Spontaneous. Not a fighter, but will kick your *kitten* good if it comes down to it. Someone you should hold on to!

LEO - The Lion (July 23 to August 22)
Great talker. Attractive and passionate. Laid back. Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish. A Leo's problem becomes everyone's problem. Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous. Knows how to have fun. Is really good at almost anything. Great kisser. Very predictable. Outgoing. Down to earth. Addictive. Attractive. Loud. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Not one to mess with. Rare to find. Good when found.

VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.

LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.

SCORPIO - The Addict (October 23 to November 21)
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.

SAGITTARIUS - The Promiscuous One (November 22 to December 21)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time. Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever. Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying.

CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.

AQUARIUS - Does It in the Water (January 20 to February 18)
Trustworthy. Attractive. Great kisser. One of a kind. Loves being in long-term relationships. Tries hard. Will take on any project. Proud of themselves in whatever they do. Messy and unorganized. Procrastinators. Great lovers, when they're not sleeping. Extreme thinkers. Loves their pets usually more than their family. Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story. Unpredictable. Will exceed your expectations. Not a fighter, but will knock your lights out.

PISCES - The Partner for Life (February 19 to March 20)
Caring and kind. Smart. Likes to be the center of attention. Very organized. High appeal to opposite sex. Likes to have the last word. Good to find, but hard to keep. Passionate, wonderful lovers. Fun to be around. Too trusting at times and gets hurt easily. VERY caring. They always try to do the right thing and sometimes get the short end of the stick. They sometimes get used by others and get hurt because of their trusting. Extremely weird but in a good way. Good sense of humor!! Thoughtful. Loves to joke. Very popular. Silly, fun and sweet. Good friend to others but needs to be choosy on who they allow their friends to be.
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Replies

  • Trechechus
    Trechechus Posts: 2,819 Member
    Lol. I'm a Cancer and that is hilarious!
  • xvxCelticWandererxvx
    xvxCelticWandererxvx Posts: 2,890 Member
    Ohhhh ...that has me pegged well! :laugh: :blushing:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
    Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic. 9 years of bad luck if you do not share this post.

    THE LAME ONE?!?!

    Harrumph!

    I shall carry a grudge over this for YEARS! :laugh:
  • callmenikita
    callmenikita Posts: 118 Member
    Spot on for me, im an Aquarius and i will take on just about any project at work

    "Can be VERY irritating to others when they try to explain or tell a story" <- I dont know why i suck so much at telling stories, i just do!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Not sure how to feel about this.
    GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
    Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

    Can I trade with some of you?
  • LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
    Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.

    LOL!

    I wouldn't say I'm lame but the rest of it is true -- aside from the sports thing because I hate sports and suck at sports.

    I most definitely can (and have) hold a grudge for years
  • phred_52
    phred_52 Posts: 189 Member
    Leo here. Guess I need to ask doc for more psyche meds. I only had 5 out of the 20 traits listed.:sad:
  • This content has been removed.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Not sure how to feel about this.
    GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
    Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.

    Can I trade with some of you?

    but, I really like the one part! :laugh:

    Can't I just pick and choose which parts to keep?
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member

    LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
    Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.

    This is pretty darn close! My husband says that if grudge holding were an Olympic sport, I'd get the gold every time. He also says he feels sorry for anyone who messes with people I love because they won't know what hit them. However, I am the opposite of being great at sports. I guess that's why it says usually! :wink:

    Why is it "The Lame One?"
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    Yup cool saggi i already knew that
  • VeganLexi
    VeganLexi Posts: 960 Member
    Lol. I'm a Cancer and that is hilarious!

    Me too :laugh:
  • LauraMacNCheese
    LauraMacNCheese Posts: 7,173 Member
    TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
    Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

    Hmmm...I think this is fairly accurate, except for the most attractive part...
  • Muddy_Yogi
    Muddy_Yogi Posts: 1,459 Member
    Nail on the head!
  • ACepero79
    ACepero79 Posts: 711 Member
    The only way that horoscope would be MORE dead on was if it said, "Loves to send junk pics."
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
    I'm a Leo. I am trying to understand the passionate/laid back/outgoing thing.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    " Rare to find. Good when found. "

    ^^^
  • CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
    Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.



    "Love to bust"? Is that a complete sentence? WTH?
  • chelledawg14
    chelledawg14 Posts: 509 Member
    I'm a Libra and it's all me except for holding a grudge - I'm the last person to hold a grudge.

    Husband is a Gemini and it is him to a "t".

    This was fun, thanks for posting :)
  • kiwigal41
    kiwigal41 Posts: 1,059
    I'm a Taurus and I would say that's pretty spot on.....the part about being attractive included!!!!!lol...:)
  • TEAM SCORPIO FTW!
  • ladyfox1979
    ladyfox1979 Posts: 405 Member
    I'm a TAURUS and it was dead on. There the secret is out.
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
    TAURUS - The Tramp (April 20 to May 20)
    Aggressive. Loves being in long relationships. Likes to give a good fight. Fight for what they want. Can be annoying at times, but for the love of attention. Extremely outgoing. Loves to help people in times of need. Good kisser. Good personality. Stubborn. A caring person. They can be self-centered and if they want something they will do anything to get it. They love to sleep and can be lazy. One of a kind. Not one to mess with. Are the most attractive people on earth!

    Aggressive? Maybe in a passive-aggressive way (or a sneaky backed I will get my way but make you think it's what you want way)
    Outgoing? O_O.... ah, no. I hate groups of people, specially random strangers.
    Love to help - yes, to the point of ignoring myself
    Self-centered (and the if they want something they will do anything to get it) - yes and no (to both)
    Love to sleep - nope, can't sleep (life long insomnia) and yes, I can be (and am) lazy (at times)
    Yes - DO NOT MESS WITH ME, I will be your best friend and make you wish your were NEVER BORN
    Attractive - O_O yeah, ah... nope.

    And getting the "nose" ring (septum) makes me feel 100% more bullheaded
  • luvJOJO
    luvJOJO Posts: 1,881 Member
    VIRGO - The One that Waits (August 23 to September 22)
    Dominant in relationships. Someone loves them right now. Always wants the last word. Caring. Smart. Loud. Loyal. Easy to talk to. Everything you ever wanted. Easy to please. A pushover. Loves to gamble and take chances. Needs to have the last say in everything. They think they know everything and usually do. Respectful to others but you will quickly lose their respect if you do something untrustworthy towards them and never regain respect. They do not forgive and never forget. The one and only.

    Yes.
  • I'm a Sagittarius and this is dead on.
  • CallMeCupcakeDammit
    CallMeCupcakeDammit Posts: 9,377 Member
    CAPRICORN - The Passionate Lover (December 22 to January 19)
    Love to bust. Nice. Sassy. Intelligent. Sexy. Grouchy at times and annoying to some. Lazy and love to take it easy, but when they find a job or something they like to do they put their all into it. Proud, understanding and sweet. Irresistible. Loves being in long relationships. Great talker. Always gets what he or she wants. Cool. Loves to win against other signs in sports, especially Gemini's. Likes to cook but would rather go out to eat at good restaurants. Extremely fun. Loves to joke. Smart.



    "Love to bust"? Is that a complete sentence? WTH?

    Bust one, maybe? I can't say I've ever found you annoying, and if you ever bust one, I'd love you even more. :bigsmile:

    I don't get the "Lame One" for Libra, but it was pretty accurate, I think. It's pretty rare for me to hold a grudge. I usually just let it go.
  • _GingerSnap_
    _GingerSnap_ Posts: 339 Member
    LIBRA - The Lame One (September 23 to October 22)
    Nice to everyone they meet. Their love is one of a kind. Silly, funny and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! However, not the kind of person you want to mess with... you might end up crying. Libras can cause as much havoc as they can prevent. Faithful friends to the end. Can hold a grudge for years. Libras are someone you want on your side. Usually great at sports and are extreme sports fanatics. Very creative. A hopeless romantic.


    Dont know how I feel about the "lame one!" Seems mostly accurate except for hopeless romantic...mmmm..no.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    ARIES - The Aggressive (March 21 to April 19)
    Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one to mess with. Funny... Excellent kisser. EXTREMELY adorable. Loves relationships, and family is very important to an Aries. Aries are known for being generous and giving. Addictive. Loud. Always has the need to be 'Right'. Aries will argue to prove their point for hours and hours. Aries are some of the most wonderful people in the world.


    :smooched:
  • opalescence
    opalescence Posts: 413 Member
    GEMINI - The Twin (May 21 to June 20)
    Nice. Love is one of a kind. Great listeners. Very good at confusing people. Lover not a fighter, but will still knock you out. Geminis will not take any crap from anyone. Geminis like to tell people what they should do and get offended easily. They are great at losing things and are forgetful. Geminis can be very sarcastic and childish at times and are very nosy. Trustworthy. Always happy. VERY Loud. Talkative. Outgoing. VERY FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE MOST IRRESISTIBLE.


    I am totally butthurt but I forgive you :flowerforyou:
  • I'm an Aries and some points are right. Especially about the always having to be right part.