Always been fat

laurahamm96
laurahamm96 Posts: 46 Member
edited November 2023 in Getting Started
I have always been overweight. I have not weighted under 200 pounds since my mid teens. Im struggling with losing weight, but I have been the same weight my whole life with little to no change no matter what I do. Maybe Im just meant to be fat. I dont understand it.

Replies

  • SquidVonBob
    SquidVonBob Posts: 290 Member
    I was in the same boat. But remember, no one is "meant to be fat". Could you have a genetic predisposition to being fat? Absolutely. And yes, that makes it harder, but by no means impossible. There are things you can do to speed up your metabolism to make losing weight easier. It took my 13 years of failed dieting to finally start losing, so please don't give up.
  • cope3am
    cope3am Posts: 5 Member
    Right there with ya but its probably been a little easier on me since im a guy. Im currently 6'6" and weigh in at about 345. My highest i ever hit that i know of was 405 and have been within this range since high school. When i started 9th grade i was 6'6" and around 350 and when i got to my varsity year in football i was at the 380 mark which i stayed at or around until the beginning on this year. The funny part was that when i was a kid my mom took me to the doctor because i refused to eat and so skinny she thought i was malnourished. Well i showed her! lol.

    Genetics definitely has some to do with it so i've accepted that i'm never gonna be that lean ripped guy. I just take it one day at a time and as long as i keep feeling healthier and having more energy then ill just keep it up for myself. Not fully sure where i was going with this other than letting you know your not alone.

    Fight on!
  • Gw3nJa
    Gw3nJa Posts: 40 Member
    I'm right here with you! I've always been a big girl. In high school I was in the mid and high 200's (somewhere I wish I was now.) But I'm here now. and I can honestly say that it's one of the programs I've stayed with longer and have lost a brag-able amount of weight with (not that I'm bragging about my weight.) I'm still working on losing weight and I know I'm going to be here for a long time just trying to be "less fat" but I don't have to do it alone anymore and that's what really helped me here.

    Feel free to add, I'd love to help you along your journey.
  • laurahamm96
    laurahamm96 Posts: 46 Member
    I think thats my biggest mental hurdle to get over. I am not working to be skinny, im working to be less fat. Its just such a.......depressing thought.
  • RobinLSH
    RobinLSH Posts: 2 Member
    Hi laurahamm96. I was the opposite when I was a kid but after having two kids of my own I have been considered obese ever since and that's been 14 years now. I have major trouble with the food. I have always been active so exercising is not a problem. Food is 80% of losing weight and exercise is 20% so you can see why I've been failing. I am lactose intolerant so I don't have problem with ice cream or dairy products, I'm not interested in eating them, however, I love nachos aka corn. I've come to find out that bad carb foods that I love to eat are what's keeping me at 80lbs over my dream weight. I have come to believe I'm allergic to carbs, but it's not just any carbs it's the carbs that are the worse for the body. I have to stay away from bread, rice, pasta, corn, white potatoes, processed wheat products and there's probably others that I can't think of right now. As I'm starting my life change tomorrow, I have no food to report today but the plan is the following just for now: Breakfast = oatmeal, little cinnamon and sugar or honey, perhaps crumble some walnuts or pecans in it, lunch = salad with meat, like a chef, tuna, or ceasar (full fat olive oil based dressing but only 1 to 2 tablespoons), then a regular perhaps not so good for me carb meal but in moderation, like pizza or pasta or brown rice. I'm giving that a whirl and will let you know how it goes. Whatever you do don't give up! This can be done, but it so much harder alone and without folks to support. :smile:
  • I feel the same way as you! I have always been heavy. I just noticed here past few years I'm gaining and gaining. I have big people in my family and thought that, that was how its suppose to be. Honestly I just got fed up. I am 25 and to big and I'm not out living my life like I should be. I think anyone can change with support and the right tools, and myfitnesspal can really help! You just have to be in the right mind set.
  • amosmoses88
    amosmoses88 Posts: 163 Member
    Feel free to add me first off. I'm in the same boat. Well, sort of. I have been in the 200's since high school. It IS depressing and I can't tell you how many times since January 10, 2013 I have pulled at my fat calling myself names and getting so upset and angry with myself that I just pray to God I just wake up one day and all the fat is gone. Because it's so hard. I have lost 31lbs since I started and it's been an uphill battle. I quit trying in April and then my best friend's little boy passed away suddenly. MAJOR depression kicked in and I quit trying to lose weight. I said ya know I've lost this much, I'll take a break. BAD MOVE. I'm just NOW starting to get back into things. I told myself yesterday that I WAS going to get back on track and keep doing it until I'm happy. Doesn't matter how fat or how skinny I am, just until I'm happy with my weight and my body. When I can walk further and run around more, then I know I've accomplished my goal. It's so hard. I just cry sometimes because it's so hard, BUT, it's so worth it. Just stick with it and count calories. Do your TDEE and go from there. I swear that thing is amazing. I lost 20lbs doing that. We're all in the same boat in one way or another here. :)
  • I too have spent my entire life being overweight. Up until kindergarten / first grade I think I was not far from "normal" but after that... it was more wt every year. I think I must have been right about 200 most of my high school years, I avoided the scale like a plague so I am not positive. I've only been close to 200 one time since high school.
    My son, who was skinny as a kid, lost 40 lbs in the last year. He told me, "Mom, I never really understood when people say that 'Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels'. until I got thin " I realized that I have no reference point. I don't know what it feels like TO be thin.. How can I set a final goal or the drive to return to something I've never had in the first place? It does make it tough I think. I suppose I'll know when I hit the point where its good enough.. I hope.
    I wish you success..
  • I'm only a youngin' but I've never known what being skinny, fit or even slightly overweight was. I've always stuck out in my group of friends and thought I should give this a go after noticing that I'd gained 7 kilos in less than a year. If anyone has any special little tips for getting started feel free to throw them at me.
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
    You're not meant to be fat. I can understand how you feel, but you can absolutely achieve a healthy weight if you put your mind to it. It's hard to get into that mindset at first, and for a while you just have to grit your teeth and put the effort in anyway, even if you don't quite believe it's going to happen. When you see the changes though, you gradually start believing it's possible.

    I had always been fat until last year. I was overweight from my early teens (if not earlier) and obese from my mid-late teens. I never thought I could be slim, but I reached my goal weight nearly a year ago and have been maintaining ever since. It has taken a while for my mind to catch up with my body. For a long time I still felt like the fat girl, even when I was at my goal. Things do change though.

    Losing weight is never easy, but using MFP to track calories makes things a lot simpler. There is no magic; just track your food, aim for a reasonable (not too low) calorie goal, and keep going. Try to eat mostly nutritious foods, but don't make huge drastic changes that you can't sustain. There's absolutely no need to cut out all (or any) of the foods you love (barring specific medical issues). For example, chocolate, bread and wine are all part of my regular diet, and were all the time I was losing. Just track your intake, get active, and don't give up. The real key is making that decision that you're going to be successful, and that you're not going to give up, no matter how many times you have a "bad day" or get frustrated, or feel like you've taken a backwards step. Motivation comes and goes - you absolutely can't rely on feeling motivated all the time. Patience and determination are the things that will bring you success.
  • chicky26
    chicky26 Posts: 127 Member
    I know exactly what you mean, I felt exactly the same.

    In reality though I think its denial or not realizing or fully understanding where you are making mistakes with your eating and activity levels. Well at least it was for me. Not only that but also I would get so upset and frustrated with my weight, at the highest 240lb, that I would eat for comfort but then feel completely guilty for it afterwards.

    I would try diets and healthy eating and exercise, I didn't see the results I wanted and so binned it as a wasted effort! It didn't work why bother, right? Try something else.

    In reality though I just wasn't committed enough. I wasn't putting in enough effort. I like food, love it to be precise. And when your big moving around and being active is just freaking hard work!!

    Fitness pal really helped me, I stuck to my calorie goals. It was hard at first I was always so hungry but it gets easier, as your tummy shrinks. The more you fill up on veg as well the better. Then when I had lost some weight I started with getting active. At first it was playing with the kids more, taking them swimming, playing with them at the park. Then a bit of aqua fit, eventually working my way up towards full on exercise classes including aerobics, circuit, combat fitness etc . . . . .

    I would weigh myself everyday and get so upset if the scale moved upwards . . . obviously this isn't working the scales going in the wrong direction?? But that's normal . . . . . daily fluctuations. Just weigh yourself once a week at the same time of day and be prepared for slow progress. I always remember - it takes a 3,500 calories deficit to loose 1lb of fat!! that's a massive amount of calories. Remembering that helped me put into perspective why its a slow process.

    I stuck to my healthy eating every day, but then allowed myself to enjoy special occasions fully. Such as birthdays and weekends away but always returning to my healthy eating afterwards.

    The weight came off.

    It will honestly, the worst part is though you really do have to put in the work to see results. It wont just happen.
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
    There are medical conditions that can make it difficult for people to lose weight so it might be worth talking to your doc if you really are finding it hard. They may be able to get you the help and support you need in the real world. For me, I was always overweight. I struggle with my physical health which makes it difficult to take exercise but I do what I can. My weight was always between 155 and 180 and even with dieting I never managed to get below 150. My body just seemed to like that weight and would settle there quite easily. This time I decided I'd really had enough and was going to push as hard as I could to get the weight off and its worked. I am now a newly slim person (although that's not really sunk in yet). I had no idea what I would look like at a smaller weight either but I was intrigued! I think succeeding at losing weight is mostly about being in the right mindset. If you can keep your motivation then you'll get there in the end. Good luck!
  • Currently this is how I feel I was born fat. I thinned out as a kid but at 17 I was 180. I would kill for that number right now. Keep your head up stay strong and know you're not a lone
  • I have always felt the way you do. Not ever being a heavy eater or snacker, but a major stresser. I felt like I was always overweight and never understood why. Slower metabolism, structure, I wasnt quite sure. But here I am five children later and angry that I have regained 30 of the 65 pounds I originally lost. A key factor in my weight loss the first time was exercise, along with a restricted calorie diet. And so here I am four days in on this journey again and I am determined to be slim. Because I myself have felt I never really have experienced what "SLIM" really is. So I encourage you to take the small steps, it is achieveable. I then just realize it is a life plan. Once we get to our goal weight, we have to stay the course-setting reasonable maintenance calories and still working out. So find something you enjoy doing-swimming, walking, zumba etc. and jump in. You definitely will have a great support system at mfp. And feel free to add me as I will be here to encourage as well.
  • Jmizzlec
    Jmizzlec Posts: 1 Member
    Laura: I really can relate. This is why you and I need to hang out more often. I've always been overweight / obese. My thyroid dysfunction was only diagnosed when I was an adult. I have no idea how long I've actually had it, but it's still no excuse for making the poor food choices I'm sure I've made and probably still make today.

    Remember what we talked about last night - one bite at a time. In this case, literally.

    Love you, girly.
  • MellieCc
    MellieCc Posts: 26 Member
    No one is 'meant to be fat'. It is a way of thinking and a mind set that has been incrusted in our brains because often because of the way we were raised!
    When I started losing weight about 3 years ago and I had to go out and buy smaller clothes, I couldnt do it. I was unable mentally to picture or figure that I fit in clothes 'that small'. That was a very very difficult mental battle. I did not see the girl everyone saw, the girl that was getting thin and looked good!! I saw the ugly fat girl that I had always been.
    I thought of hypnosis one day and looked into it so I made an appointment and I went. BIG DIFFERENCE!!!
    I feel good, sexy, comfortable and this is where I am supposed to be now!!!!
    So give yourself some time, but it is a mental battle. Picture yourself slim. Post pictures of the clothes you want to wear and visualise yourself in them....

    Hope this helps also feels good to share! :)

    Melanie
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    I think thats my biggest mental hurdle to get over. I am not working to be skinny, im working to be less fat. Its just such a.......depressing thought.

    I think you have a really negative perspective on this process and it may be derailing your ability to continue.

    Instead of thinking about "working to be less fat", try:

    "I'm making a CHOICE for a healthier lifestyle."
    "I'm working to add years to my life."
    "I'm doing a good thing for myself when I exercise."
    "I'm choosing a good path."
    "I'm doing this to be strong."
    "I'm taking control of my happiness and making a change."
    "I'm not going to get the past keep me down."
    "I'm not MEANT to be anything. I can and WILL make my life and body what I want it to be."
    "I am the only person responsible for myself."

    Making a change is hard. And it's a CHOICE - a choice that you have to make over and over again, a hundred times a day. And you have to REALLY REALLY want it. Make a list of the reasons why you want to change and sit down with it and HONESTLY assess whether it's enough for you. It may not be.
  • Kathryn41057
    Kathryn41057 Posts: 181 Member
    OMG!!!!! It's like I've come home. I am 5'9, 198 lbs, and turning 56 in 2 weeks. I am also going thru menopause which is a real pain by the way.... Some of the responses that I have I've read here this morning sound so much like me... I was always 1 of the tallest girls in my classes, weighed anywhere from 135-150 lbs. As I got older, my kids came along, and with being so busy, and always on the run after 2 little boys, the weight started climbing.... Hence the start of different diet programs.....and they all worked for awhile, but if you don't work the program, the program does not work....I don't know how many times I've lost and gained 50 lbs. Everyone says to me: "You're tall, you're big boned, you can carry the weight" .... uh huh... So....Speed forward to today.... I'm depressed that my weight has not changed that much. I've logged every day, as best as I can. I do well most days, but might slip on some others. I find the weekends are the hardest for me. It seems once Friday is here, I'm off until Monday morning.... and I know that I have to work on that one. Also, getting exercise of any kind, is a hit and miss. I always have good intentions, and for the most part I carry through.. But there are times that I don't go for that walk..... I know it's one day at a time, one meal at a time, and getting into that mindset that I need to track EVERY DAY.. no matter what day it is. Even if I go way over on my calories, I still need to track them so I can see for myself that I am being accountable... Please forgive my rant.... I guess I need a boot in the b.... Kat :(
  • Wow what can I say. So many of these stories in here are my own. I have been overweight my whole life. My mother was overweight and had gastric bypass. I saw how that affected her body and I swore to myself I would never do it. I am 5'3 and have had 4 children. I weigh in today at 230.4 lbs. My goal weight is around 150. I dont want to be super thin just comfortable in my won skin. I have tried and tried and failed fad diets. Jumped on plenty of bandwagons and fell off. I have never been able to stick to any diet plan. A week ago I watched this story of over 100lb natural weight loss on youtube. This gir lsinspired me and she mentioned this site. This is when I found this new determination inside of me to get this thing right. First I started off the wrong way by just trying those Green Coffee Bean/Raspberry Ketone supplement. I cant say that it has helped me any. I saw it off Dr Oz and for some reason I find it hard to believe that his test showed people losing like 17lbs. I cant even tell 1lb difference. Anywho so thats when I started to get serious. I cut out diet pepsi whicih I miss dearly so please someone comment and tell me if I can have it. I drink at least 100 fl oz of water a day. I am counting my caloried on this thing. I also am doing my own Zumba Fitness by myself in my house for around 45-60 minutes on high intensity for 5 days a week. I guess this is the beginning of my journey and my life changing. If anyone has any suggestion please feel free to comment. Oh by the way I tried to get in all my calories without going over the other stuff and I practicalyl stuffed myself sick trying to get them all in so that my body doesnt go into starvation and storage mode. Any ideas on how not to do that? Also is a protein shake a good idea once a day?
  • LassoOfTruth
    LassoOfTruth Posts: 735 Member
    I don't think anyone is "meant" to be fat, or skinny for that matter. I think it's just a matter of changing up the routine, and educating ourselves on healthier options in life. I've always been a chunkster, even when I was 6 years old running around all day, playing soccer in front of our building. If you want to change your health, you can and you shall! It takes motivation, and a good understand of our bodies. Good luck hun, don't ever feel like it's hopeless.
This discussion has been closed.