New Member Here Need support please!!

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I am 22 years old and a mother of two. I am going through a divorce and have several medical and mental problems. While pregnant with my first who is now 3 I gained 180 pounds. I went from weighing 129 to weighing 309 in under a year! When my daughter turned a year old I began a strict 4 hour a day workout along with diet and working many hours so less snacking. I lost 118 pounds. After finally getting excited about my weight loss I got pregnant again and now I have my second a soon to be 4 month old little boy. I gained 50 pound while pregnant and got myself down to 187. A terrible doctor put me on a medication I told him I didnt think I could take and bam im now a lot heavier. I now weigh in at 219 and 5 foot 3. I have 2 kids, single mom going through a divorce and full time student. I dont have time to exercise like I used to. I currently am TRYING to take Almasead. However I have absolutely no self control. I really need female buddies I can text or email when I feel like eating fatty foods. OR even finding a workout buddy in my area. I have high blood pressure and im only 22! and now I may have sleep apnea. Just yesterday I had almasead for breakfast and 2 egg whites for a snack and then almasead for lunch...then I went and screwed it up and had Popeyes chicken for dinner with my family...and then went home and made porkchops!! Stress is a big factor which im getting help with. I just need help with my self control :( PLEASE!! Support anyone for this newbie member to this site? Thanks! Lots of Love

Replies

  • drcrisos
    drcrisos Posts: 68 Member
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    Wow, sorry you are going through all of that. Hard to take care of yourself when your whole life is changing and stressful, but that's when it is absolutely necessary.
    You will have to find your willpower to make anything work. It's there, it's just hiding. Start counting your calories, log EVERYTHING. Remember, you aren't doing this for anyone else but yourself. You need to keep yourself accountable, so you can see where you could have made better choices.
    I log everything. Even if I have pizza or McDonalds, etc. I plan around that, try to get the lowest calorie item on the menu (sometimes...) and then adjust the rest of the day or the next day. If I want a bowl of ice cream, I exercise a little to give me those calories back so I break even.
    I struggle when I'm working as we always have goodies around. I just have to really think about, "Do I need those calories?" What will I have to give up for the rest of the day to eat that? Is it worth it.
    I hated counting calories, had to change my mindset and realize that I needed to know, to understand what I was doing to my body. How to make my body feel better so I could be a better mom to my kids.
    Slow road, but I am doing it and so can you.
    Don't give up. If you eat unhealthy, don't beat yourself up, just log it and make better decisions for the next meal or snack.
    Make sure you drink enough water. Your body needs that and it helps you feel better and can help you feel fuller at certain times of the day.

    Feel free to add me to your friends.
    You can succeed, you just have to believe that of yourself first.
  • MissBellatrix
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    It must be difficult for you, experiencing this in life... If you want you can add me as a friend, I am online everyday, if you want you can send me email in order to distract yourself if you have cravings for those food. We'll help each other.
  • joannadalina
    joannadalina Posts: 112 Member
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    I just sent you a friend request. Trying to be healthier can be a struggle when your world is falling apart at the seam. My advice would be to take small steps towards making better choices vs. big jumps. But the first step would definitely be logging all the foods you eat. Like the others said, its the only way you can see where you need to make changes. I've been logging foods for about 3 weeks now. It sucked at first but it definitely made me realize how much I snack / eat during the day. After you get into the habit of logging, then start making swaps. Swap the soda for water, or if you aren't ready for that yet, just drink one less can of soda, etc. I am a sucker for Velvetta and can eat a whole lot of it. I don't want to cut it out so instead I just ate the serving size instead of the whole box. Now I am okay eating just the serving size.

    My belief is, you don't have to stop eating all the foods you like, even if they are unhealthy. It's all about moderation. I am not trying to go on a diet, b/c a diet is something that is temporary. I am trying to make a lifestyle change. It may be a slow process, but I am making a change on how much I eat, not really what I eat. I am starting to work in eating more fruits and vegetables too. It all takes time. Find what works best for you. If you like to eat Popeyes, that's fine. Maybe eat 2 pieces of chicken instead of 3, or eat one less biscuit, little changes like that.

    Best of luck :)
  • ClevelandsCowgirl
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    Thanks everyone! It is so hard not to snack. Im pretty good about watching what I eat. But im a full time student and they have some great soft pretzels and cookies and ugh the food is just so good. Ill be hungry after class during a long break between classes and I dont drive right now so ill get something from the cafeteria and man its so yummy but sooo bad for me. Like i said ill do super good! I am on a diet now to jump start my weight loss. I NEVER gain weight. This is weight from medication and baby. I was so irritated when the doctor put on a medication I knew my body didnt like and he said not to worry. I didnt change how I ate at all and gained 17 pounds! I was so furious. I gained it in 2 weeks. I was even jogging. UGH! Doctors lol. Right now I am having a protein shake for breakfast. And then I have class and usually grab subway for lunch. Im really good about eating healthy and am addicted to veggies and fruits. Its the snacking and when I go out with my family and kids.
  • MzNeecie
    MzNeecie Posts: 107 Member
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    I saw your blog and just had to say YOU CAN DO IT! I know it seems really hard right now and trust me it will be but it doesn't mean it is impossible. I agree with the other ladies that small changes make a big difference. I see you say that the meds make you gain weight even with healthy eating and exercise well maybe see if the doctor has an alternative that maybe will work but with out the side effect of weight gain. I also saw that you said snacking is the biggest issue I have found that if you pre plan your foods for the entire day it helps a lot. Its funny b/c i will leave the house with more groceries than i bring in from the store some times b/c if i have healthy options with me when im at work or in the car running errands i am less likely to choose something bad for me. plus side note i am kind of cheap so it keeps me from spending money lol. Really though i am an emotional eater as well and when i am stressed or depressed or whatever i tend to look to food esp cookies (hince the cookie monster profile pic) but i am learning to take that emotion whatever it maybe and use it at the gym. if i am lonely i go workout, if i am bored i go workout if i am stressed i go workout! it gives me an outlet while also keeping me out of the cabinets. Now dont get me wrong i eat bad too but i try to not do it very offten. i wish you the best of luck and feel free to add me as a friend if you want. i have been on mfp for over two years so this is a habit for me now and my diary is open so that i can be accountable for my actions!
  • linzchapates
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    Oy! I can be here for you, I too need support when I feel like eating the sugary devil food lol Inspiration right here!!
  • brwnstephanie
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    set goals stay postive and take it one day at a time :)
  • jobegone
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    wow, your so young to have to deal with so much.
    What makes it so bad is that its your medical problems causing the majority of weight gain, which just makes it a vicious circle.

    Feel free to add me as a friend, im new to this and we can all help each other down this road.

    Stay strong, your obviously a tough woman to be able to cope with two young kids, a divorce, being a student and your medical problems so together we'll get this weight off and be the gorgeous, happy, healthy women that we all deserve to be :)
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
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    Thanks everyone! It is so hard not to snack. Im pretty good about watching what I eat. But im a full time student and they have some great soft pretzels and cookies and ugh the food is just so good. Ill be hungry after class during a long break between classes and I dont drive right now so ill get something from the cafeteria and man its so yummy but sooo bad for me. Like i said ill do super good! I am on a diet now to jump start my weight loss. I NEVER gain weight. This is weight from medication and baby. I was so irritated when the doctor put on a medication I knew my body didnt like and he said not to worry. I didnt change how I ate at all and gained 17 pounds! I was so furious. I gained it in 2 weeks. I was even jogging. UGH! Doctors lol. Right now I am having a protein shake for breakfast. And then I have class and usually grab subway for lunch. Im really good about eating healthy and am addicted to veggies and fruits. Its the snacking and when I go out with my family and kids.

    I got put on a medication that has made me put on 10kg (that's about 22lb) in about four weeks. Can you imagine? I chucked the medication once I realised, and the shock has jumpstarted a diet and I'm back on MFP, somewhere I never should've left. :p

    What I can suggest is to try to work out your next day's food the night before. Work out how many calories you will have and pack that in a bag. Take it to varsity with you and then it will be what you eat. if you have packed a chopped up carrot in your bag that is what you will snack on. You won't have a choice and when it happens you won't much mind. Don't take money, or if you do, take only enough for a coffee or cup of tea.

    What else am I finding out this time around? oh. That I don't have to be a nazi about calories. I've got 12oo on my dial, to lose 3/4kg/week, but if I go to 1400 I don't care, and it doesn't seem to make much difference anyway. the important thing is always to be a fair bit under maintenance level and leave it at that. That's what I'm starting to think.

    I think I've always gone at dieting too hard, which is why it hasn't been a success. it doesn't seem to be a problem that I'm being gentler now, and I've lost 3 1/2kg in UNDER 2 WEEKS. :D
  • JessicaRudder
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    Sorry to hear about your troubles, but, it sounds like you're starting to head in a direction that's healthy for yourself.

    Self control can be tough. If you don't have it, try to 'cheat' by making it a lot harder to snack on junk food than healthy food. If it's not something you want to eat, don't buy it and keep it in your house.

    You also might want to try focusing on one habit at a time. Instead of trying to eat the 'right' amount of the 'right' food at the 'right time, you might just focus on eating the 'right' amount. Allow yourself to have junk food, but, don't allow yourself to eat more than x calories per day. Or, you can go the other route - allow yourself to eat whenever you're hungry, but, only if it's fruits and veg.

    Just focusing on one change instead of trying to change everything all at once (and then guilt eating when you inevitably fail <---speaking from experience) can make all the difference when you're starting out.

    Best of luck!
    Jessica