A very, VERY personal question...

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13

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  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,344 Member
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    Try it in the pooper. That should fix things right up.

    omg lol I was eating and almost choked to death :laugh:

    I choked a little too when I read your response and then looked over at your profile pic...........covered in..............................mud........hopefully lol.
  • igypsy
    igypsy Posts: 64 Member
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    [/quote]
    Y'all expressed my disgusted sentiments perfectly.

    My opinion is that you have had a little bit of difficulty with stress, fatigue or whatever that caused you to miss a couple of Os and now it's been built up into a "thing" in your mind, which is why you get stressed about not being able to just let go. It's now a self-fulfilling prophecy. I think the thing to do is probably spend a little bit of alone time "greasing the groove", just like lifting weights. You'll get your form back, you'll feel better and more relaxed, and you can enjoy your together time with your husband whether you "get there" or not. If you relax about "making it happen", eventually it'll start happening on its own again.

    [/quote]

    +1 for this - it can be a vicious cycle, the more you want to get there, the more you get hung up on trying to get there, the less you're going to get there.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
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    Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?

    I don't think I could hate this sentence more.

    I'm with you on that one.



    I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.

    if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.

    that's close-minded.
  • retirehappy
    retirehappy Posts: 4,752 Member
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    So why is this happening? My mind is not other places, there are no stresses interfering, he's not doing anything wrong. I can only suspect it's hormonal but my desire has only increased? But, on the other hand, I am looking 40 right in the face. Could it be that I exercise too much? I exercise at least an hour each day. I run, I bike, I lift, I do aerobics, I'm always changing it up and I really, really enjoy exercising. Am I getting too many "feel good hormones" from exercise that there aren't any left for him? I just don't understand. Has anyone else experienced this?

    Try laying off the exercise on "date night" days. Make sure you are relaxed and if you can get the kids out of the house that is best. Shower together or do whatever both of you think is romantic. RELAX, RELAX, RELAX.

    You might also discuss this with your dr. as you are at the perimenopause stage and some hormones may be at play as well.

    And yes talk to him let him know you want him, but it just isn't happening. Make it playful and stress free exploration time.

    Good luck, it sounds like you have a solid foundation to work from that is half the battle right there.
  • InForBacon
    InForBacon Posts: 1,508 Member
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    Is sex exciting ? Does he take you like a man should take a woman or is he timid ?

    I don't think I could hate this sentence more.

    I'm with you on that one.



    I'm with you on that one, also the same poster's " throw you around the bed".... Guys, if you're too rough, you're not going to get ANY, nor do you deserve to.

    if my SO throws me around the bed and the room, he gets MORE....don't assume how you are wired is in ANY way the same as how I am wired. just don't.

    that's close-minded.

    I'm with her. Me likes it rough!
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    The first thing I thought is that if he doesn't know that you don't reach the "O", then you must be faking it for him. Is that right? If you're faking, then you have other communication problems. On the other hand if he knows (and really how could he not?), then he must not really care, and that is a different kind of problem.

    You really have to figure out exactly what is going on. As others have said, you may just be trying too hard. In that case if you just give it up and don't "work" toward the end you will do much better in reaching the end.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    It's probably hormonal but I doubt it's exercise related. Get thee to your doctor so he//she can run some tests.

    ^This. Could be perimenopause. But the good news is that it is likely only temporary.
  • CarmenSRT
    CarmenSRT Posts: 843 Member
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    Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.

    That's because you don't have to worry about c leaning up the afterglow. :laugh:
  • JessieMaeH82
    JessieMaeH82 Posts: 79 Member
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    The first thing I thought is that if he doesn't know that you don't reach the "O", then you must be faking it for him. Is that right? If you're faking, then you have other communication problems. On the other hand if he knows (and really how could he not?), then he must not really care, and that is a different kind of problem.

    You really have to figure out exactly what is going on. As others have said, you may just be trying too hard. In that case if you just give it up and don't "work" toward the end you will do much better in reaching the end.
    ooooooo this is VERY good too!!!
    NEVER EVER fake it! That's just.... lying.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Hotel rooms have magical aphrodisiac qualities for long term marriages.

    That's because you don't have to worry about c leaning up the afterglow. :laugh:

    You can also pretend that you're picking up a one-night-stand in the hotel bar.
  • LarryDUk
    LarryDUk Posts: 279 Member
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    One thing you could try and it is VERY difficult, is to stop thinking about it. Just go with the flow. I am sure he knows your spots after that many years and it has happened before. Worrying about it, WILL stop it from happening.
  • MTBrob
    MTBrob Posts: 513 Member
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    Wow ... You read way to much in to my statement.... It was a generalization in which to gather more information..

    Light the Torches and get the pitch forks out because a man said something possibly sexists and perhaps suggestive.. Give me a break.
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    time to get kinky, and wild and crazy
    do stuff you have never ever done.
    its not hormones, and its not too much exercise
    get creative,,,,
  • TIDDYBEAR
    TIDDYBEAR Posts: 63 Member
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    Maybe menopause is rearing it's head?? That isn't a horrible thing. Can you IMAGINE "NO more periods"?? lol. You can work around a lack of "desire" I would think.
  • crackur
    crackur Posts: 473 Member
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    as much as working out can increase your libido it can hurt it ........people fail to realize this.......let your body adjust and it will come back.
  • EatClean_WashUrNuts
    EatClean_WashUrNuts Posts: 1,590 Member
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    You're doing it wrong.

    Simply put....stop thinking about. And there should never be more than a 3-day pause


    Remember to take things out of the bedroom.
  • DesdemonaRose
    DesdemonaRose Posts: 190
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    It can be so many things, but hormones and sexuality can change for some people over time. It has for me, in some ways. You might have to change things up. Not all women orgasm the same, maybe you need to change up the norm. Losing weight can change your hormones and of course the age thing. It's always worth checking it out with the Dr.

    Yea, what humans want sexually varies a LOT. It's a topic that fascinates me and I've read/watched about a wide variety of desires. Don't assume everyone wants the same thing. Of course that means not assuming that every man should want to to be the, "top," or that every woman likes it soft and romantic. The best thing you can do is find out what your partner really likes before engaging in any activity!
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
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    You'd be amazed how simple things can affect you in the bedroom. Trouble is it happens a couple of times, you then worry about it, and then the worry makes it even worse.

    I'd put it down to hormones and the major changes you are making to your lifestyle and body. Visit your doctor, but above all, try and stop worrying, as it will make it worse.
  • dbanks80
    dbanks80 Posts: 3,685 Member
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    It could be perimenopause

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