My Fat History

Hi!

Briefly a bit of history, I am 51, mother of 2 grown children, survivor (which led me to have problems with ED), have a (long-standing) chronic pain condition, recently diagnosed with lupus and been a woman weighed down with obesity.

My life was in the pits. Everything was wrong. Everything hurt. I was ashamed to be seen and all the medicines that I had been prescribed were struggling to work given my bulk.

At my heaviest I weighed 126kgs, I am 5’5” tall. Life sucked…..I could not cut my toenails without losing my breath. Clothes were impossible to buy and I was forced into wearing mens clothes. We had a small car too and I used to have to get out of the car to release the boot/hood latches. Photos were right OUT….and even if I did get captured my misery was clearly on view. Something had to change and I realised that it could only come from me. So….

Got me some counselling, wrote, cried, yelled and then dealt with all the past *kitten*….forgave them and myself and moved on.

Quit taking as many meds as possible, especially the mood altering ones that played havoc with my inner “gimme all the foods” mentality. Once this was done the cycle of rebound starvation I did stopped as well.

Started looking at what I was regularly eating. Got good professional advice and found that I am gluten sensitive, better off with low GI foods (insulin resistant) and with those changes thankfully found my desire for many of my ‘must’ have crap foods left me. Still have treats, but they are higher quality with ‘real’ ingredients rather than a huge bag of colours, preservatives etc held together with reconstituted God knows what (my system just couldn’t deal with that).

Exercising …..started off with walking. Then more walking. Graduating to bushwalking (hiking), these got longer and harder, then too my surprise got into taking on mountains. Nothing was too out there. My darling hubby has been by my side for 30 years and he came along for all and lost nearly 30kgs.
I added body weight exercises. Never thought someone my age could do man size push ups , then added in extra hand weights for fun. Did HIIT and Circuit training. I was strong, fit, my pain was finally at a stage where I mainly ruled it….not the other way round. I now weighed in at 50kgs and still do.

Then life did what life sometime does and I got sicker and sicker and finally the Lupus was diagnosed, apparently it was lurking for at least 4 years and we got poor guidance from Drs’. Bugger.

My last bushwalk was Jan this year, it nearly killed me….I started treatment in March. Steroids and anti malarials. Being in the sun is RIGHT OUT exhaustion, seizures, more pain etc are everyday issues that I am learning to come to grips with. For me right now being active and regaining strength is about knowing where that line is and believe me one of the most frustrating things is that line keeps bloody well moving.

I wanted to say THANK YOU to MFP members. I have lurked here for so very long. Reading, learning and laughing. There are so many people here who have their own heavy burdens and long roads to travel and their stories have been so inspirational to me. To all those really clued up people who frequent here to try to help others with food and exercise advice, again thank you, your passion and success speak volumes.

To anyone, any age, any weight, with or without health issues, Please Please never give up on yourselves. Your life is so important, love yourself for who you are and you can achieve so much. Even though it’s a tough road the destination is so worth it.