I'm on the wagon

I've been sober for one week now, and I'm feeling pretty good about it. I'd love to say it was 2 weeks, but I did have half a glass of wine at a party last Friday. However, I'm proud that it was only a half glass and count that as a win.

I haven't been a super big drinker. I haven't even been an everyday drinker, usually can get away with just one beer with dinner if it's a weeknight. My struggles arise when I'm thrown into a social setting. I get anxious, like really anxious. So, I get a drink and I feel a little looser, more humorous and expansive, and then I want another. And another. According to my husband and friends I don't have any problem whatsoever, but I disagree. I lose a bit of myself when I'm intoxicated. I'm just not my authentic self, but rather everybody's hilarious friend, and I don't like the way I feel once I sober up. I feel embarrassed even though I've been assured many times over I did nothing to be embarrassed about, not to mention having a headache and vertigo in the morning. I haven't told anyone IRL that I quit yet. Every time I've ever mentioned that I might want to I get, "Why would you want to do that?" Which is really just what I want to hear so I can have a delicious, satisfying, amazing beer. That's what I really am going to miss. I just love beer. If only it didn't get me drunk!

Outside of the previously mentioned reasons, I also feel like quitting drinking is just another step in being a healthier person. I've been making all these other changes like adding exercise to my life and improving my eating habits. Just think of all the calories!!!

I would love to be able to just drink responsibly for a special occasion, but have my doubts about my abilities to control myself. For now, my goal is no drinks whatsoever. If anyone has had similar experiences, is currently sober or trying to be, or would just like to support me for the heck of it, please send me a friend request.

Thanks!