Divorce and Gains or Losses NOT SPOUSE BASHING

KevinPsalm23v4
KevinPsalm23v4 Posts: 208 Member
in Motivation and Support
Just curious if anyone wants to chat about divorce - NOT SPOUSE BASHING - but what challenges have you faced with eating and exercising either too much or too little.

This is where I am at now; it seems I can't eat (feels like a chore) and with anxiety on full tilt and everything else going on, I've lost weight and probably at unhealthy rate.

15 days - dropped 13 pounds.

Replies

  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    I lost about 30# in two months at the time of separation. I don't recall a huge decrease in my eating but I was doing a lot of exercise at the time. And I was 22. It came off a lot faster then than it does now.

    ETA: I had weight to lose. Losing the 30# put me back to where I was prior to having my first kid.
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    Sadly, this is quite common. I have recognized "divorce face" on several of my friends over the years, without needing to be told about the state of their union.

    I had it in the extreme when I divorced, losing 30lbs in 3 months, down to 111 lbs. I am 5'11" tall, putting me at a BMI below 16...VERY unhealthy! I am sure I have yet to discover all the health impacts of allowing my emotional state to dictate my nutrition.

    Chore though it may be, you MUST eat. If volume is the issue (as it was with me...a half a cheese sandwich was enough to make me want to gag), try for calorie-dense foods like nuts and cheese. Snack small, but snack often. And take your vitamins!

    If the anxiety gets really bad, you may want to think about seeing your doctor or therapist. My pride didn't want me to accept pharmaceutical assistance, but common sense won out, and I took a low-dose anti-anxiety med for a short time. It quieted things down enough for me to get to a stronger place. No shame in it.

    Good luck. Stay strong, and take care of you!
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,943 Member
    Just curious if anyone wants to chat about divorce - NOT SPOUSE BASHING - but what challenges have you faced with eating and exercising either too much or too little.

    This is where I am at now; it seems I can't eat (feels like a chore) and with anxiety on full tilt and everything else going on, I've lost weight and probably at unhealthy rate.

    15 days - dropped 13 pounds.

    When I went through my divorce several years ago, I ended up overeating to stuff my feelings. I was already overweight and ate myself up several more pounds. Had I chosen to eat better and to exercise, then I might not have gained so much weight.

    Give yourself time to heal and be gentle on yourself. :smile:

    You might also want to pay a visit to your doctor since you are unable to eat.
  • WeepingAngel81
    WeepingAngel81 Posts: 2,232 Member
    Well, last year I was 5 weeks from my wedding with a man I had been with for almost 5 years. He walked out on my and his son. It was a really stressful separation for many reason, and I lost a lot of weight due to stress. I decided that I was going to make it a point to be as healthy as possible for my kids. The whole thing was very hard, but he is an alcoholic which didn't show until after our son was born. We were heading towards destruction as it was. I made a goal to run a mud run with my best friend I ended up doing 2 5K;s and have another one on the way. I joined the YMCA and I get my kids involved as much as possible as well. He went to England where he is from, so it's just me influencing my son which is a lot of pressure. But if I don't make an effort to be healthy, my eating habits would get out of control.
    Eating when he first walked out, as you say, was a chore. Someone, who had been though a divorce, sent me a message saying that even if I couldn't eat to drink. Drink anything that would put calories in my body even if I wasn't hungry. This didn't start me on the right path to getting and staying healthy, but it's what I needed at the time. I hand friends with me every night. My mom flew up from Florida and spent the summer with me. It was annoying, God bless her, but she made sure I was eating. She made sure I wasn't alone. Surround yourself with friends and family. Everything else will fall into place with time.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    This is not an uncommon event. My doctors called it the "divorce diet". I started seeing a Christian counselor shortly after we decided to divorce. She said that we go through different stages of anxiety. One stage is that we eat a lot. Then our anxiety gets so high that we can not eat at all. That's where I was and where you seem to be. I had to cave in and listen to my doctor and take some anxiety meds. I took very few as I hate taking meds, but it did help. I lost a lot of weight very quickly and the unhealthy way. Thankfully I recognized it and began to work on it before it was too out of control (although some would say it was out of control).

    Mine began in March and it slowed down somewhere around July - August. Although in October of that year I was still having very low calorie days (500 - 800 at the most). I nearly passed out after one of my workouts because of it. They wanted to take me by ambulance to the hospital but I would not let them.

    I'm very glad you are asking NOW!!! 15 days in! Please do something now to nip it.

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