Ladies only please

soapyapples
soapyapples Posts: 18
in Chit-Chat
Anyone feel the same?

Wanting to lose weight not to leave your husband/boyfriend whatever (or anything like cheating) but just so he'll step up his 'game' a little bit?

Replies

  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Risky game, what if he doesn't? You setting yourself up for potential disappointment.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    Not a lady, but I'm curious, losing weight so he'll step up his "game"? Define "game" please?

    And do you mean you're losing weight to manipulate another persons actions?
  • drgmac
    drgmac Posts: 716 Member
    No... If he doesn't treat you the way you want, move on. No games.
  • soapyapples
    soapyapples Posts: 18
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
    No.

    Being passive-aggressive just wastes everyone's time and emotions.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.

    Well, if you being in better shape increases his attraction to you, then it could make things more frequent. But if you want to try new things, then you may have to suggest them and introduce them to the bedroom. Don't expect him to be the one to do that. Have an honest, loving discussion about things that you think that you may be interested in and see if he is willing to try them.
  • SweetKisses1988
    SweetKisses1988 Posts: 35
    Anyone feel the same?

    Wanting to lose weight not to leave your husband/boyfriend whatever (or anything like cheating) but just so he'll step up his 'game' a little bit?

    Yes ma'am ... I feel ya, same here !!
  • soapyapples
    soapyapples Posts: 18
    Anyone feel the same?

    Wanting to lose weight not to leave your husband/boyfriend whatever (or anything like cheating) but just so he'll step up his 'game' a little bit?

    Yes ma'am ... I feel ya, same here !!

    Thank you
  • CaliforniaBarbie
    CaliforniaBarbie Posts: 346 Member
    spice things up yourself dont wait for him to do it
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    Take that back, just saw your response to what you mean by stepping up his game. :smile:
  • AlongCame_Molly
    AlongCame_Molly Posts: 2,835 Member
    It won't work. I lost all my weight and look better than I ever did while we were dating, and my husband is still a fat sloppy mess.

    Do it for you, and no one else.
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.
    Ah...so maybe if you work on your confidence it will be more attractive than any physical change.:flowerforyou:
  • jvbrooks
    jvbrooks Posts: 82 Member
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.
    Ah...so maybe if you work on your confidence it will be more attractive than any physical change.:flowerforyou:

    This. My wife is overweight, but do you think that matters to me? Hell no. I love her for who she is, not what she looks like.
  • soapyapples
    soapyapples Posts: 18
    My husband is wonderful and the only thing wrong with our intimate life is my confidence. I did not mean to suggest that he was in the wrong only that my weight loss might reinvigorate things (due to me)
  • Naomi0504
    Naomi0504 Posts: 964 Member
    Do it for yourself and just come out and tell him explicitly exactly what you want.
  • anemoneprose
    anemoneprose Posts: 1,805 Member
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.

    I was not motivated by anything like that, but sex drive can absolutely be increased by exercise, bc of more testosterone & more efficient testosterone sensitivity. Improved general strength, agility and flexibility can only help things, and many people find their body image and physical confidence shoot up with exercise.

    So if this is about YOU and your drive and self confidence, sure, it can help you not care if the lights are on or off, and you'll probably be up for it way more often. (If this is about communication and relationship stuff, obviously it won't make a difference.)
  • soapyapples
    soapyapples Posts: 18
    Thank you for your comment. Yes this is about my confidence.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    It sounds more like you need to work on your game, and your confidence is the first thing you need to build up. I can tell you that losing weight will not necessarily make you more confident, but it could help. You have to work on being happy with you.

    If you want to begin to experiment with things in the bedroom, sitting back hoping your husband will make some moves and changes on his own, will probably just result in a lot of frustration on your part. You will either need to open the lines of communication and talk about what you want with your hubby, or you will just need to make them happen yourself, and hope that hubby likes the ideas, and runs with them.
  • TheSlorax
    TheSlorax Posts: 2,401 Member
    if you want something different in sexy time you have to talk to your man about it. losing weight and hoping that "spices things up" is just going to be disappointing for you. think of it on the flip side, if he lost weight would you automatically take that as a signal to get more kinky? no, you wouldn't.


    don't be afraid to talk about sex or have sexual needs. the guy married you so he obviously enjoys what you got.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
    It sounds more like you need to work on your game, and your confidence is the first thing you need to build up. I can tell you that losing weight will not necessarily make you more confident, but it could help. You have to work on being happy with you.

    If you want to begin to experiment with things in the bedroom, sitting back hoping your husband will make some moves and changes on his own, will probably just result in a lot of frustration on your part. You will either need to open the lines of communication and talk about what you want with your hubby, or you will just need to make them happen yourself, and hope that hubby likes the ideas, and runs with them.

    That is what I said. :angry:
  • colortheworld
    colortheworld Posts: 374 Member
    Confidence is sexy. And if losing some weight makes you more confident, go for it!!! I know it helps me. :smile:
  • colortheworld
    colortheworld Posts: 374 Member
    Also, most men I know are attracted to confidence in a woman, actually most people I know are attracted to confidence in general. I'd think it's pretty safe to say building up your confidence will help.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I'm not entirely sure I understand the original question. But no, I'd never do this for anyone but myself. If I did, I'd probably end up resenting the person I was doing it for.
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    We've been together 6 years married 3. He does make me happy so there is no need to move on, however losing weight might add some healthy (i stress the word) spice.

    Specifically in the bedroom department due to my own confidence level. I would hope the change would reinvigorate us little bit, just thought others might feel the same.

    Anything that gives you more confidence will give you more confidence. :) if it's what you need to do to see your own worth, do it. But don't assume he gives a damn. He might like you curvy.

    What I mean is, don't be ashamed of your body. :) Don't be shy because of it. Guys often don't care about a few extra pounds, they just wanna get laid.

    Simple creatures, men. :p
  • randomtai
    randomtai Posts: 9,003 Member
    Hmmm... never mind.
  • infamousdrew76
    infamousdrew76 Posts: 176 Member
    If you're playing that game...it's probably not gonna last anyway!
  • MinMin97
    MinMin97 Posts: 2,674 Member
    Anyone feel the same?

    Wanting to lose weight not to leave your husband/boyfriend whatever (or anything like cheating) but just so he'll step up his 'game' a little bit?
    Fitness is a plus, for sure...it's attractive, and makes me feel good about myself. Another important part of sex is knowing that my husband is really attracted to me. I've let him know that he should tell me what he's thinking....this is particularly important for a woman IMO, that her man be really attracted to her. Don't be oblique with him....tell him lovingly and respectfully and directly that you need to know he's attracted to you, and how.
  • Tashabradshaw
    Tashabradshaw Posts: 5 Member
    spice things up yourself dont wait for him to do it

    Right answer............ P.s been happily married for 15 years!
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    It sounds more like you need to work on your game, and your confidence is the first thing you need to build up. I can tell you that losing weight will not necessarily make you more confident, but it could help. You have to work on being happy with you.

    If you want to begin to experiment with things in the bedroom, sitting back hoping your husband will make some moves and changes on his own, will probably just result in a lot of frustration on your part. You will either need to open the lines of communication and talk about what you want with your hubby, or you will just need to make them happen yourself, and hope that hubby likes the ideas, and runs with them.

    That is what I said. :angry:

    Sorry, I was just in a reply and run mode that day, and didn't read any other responses.

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