Lost my Sister-in-law to Breast Cancer, Need HELP with Emoti

prdrprincess
prdrprincess Posts: 6 Member
edited September 21 in Introduce Yourself
I am losing weight on the Jenny Craig system. I was doing great. I lost about 35lbs. and then my sister in law's became very ill. For the last 3 weeks I have watched her slowly die. I have been eating, anything and everything. My vice of choice have been Chocolate Chip Cookies, and McDonalds. She just passed away early Monday Morning and want to STOP the eating! Please help me thru this very hard journey.

Replies

  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
    You are using something you are very use to and comfortable with as something to ease this pain. You are a place with a total lack of control over the situation and you are turning to something to help. Listen, if we are here we have problems with food but I have to tell you, if you aren't drinking or drugging or cutting yourself or overtly physically harming yourself then you need to understand she JUST DIED YESTERDAY AND THIS IS TEMPORARY. This is NOT a license to eat like this forever or even the whole week but I promise, if you try, when you have some strength, you can back out of this.

    When you feel overwhelmed, step outside and breath and walk a bit. If you are reaching for some food then wander out and move. Clean. Scrub. Do laundry. Physically exert yourself. But do understand that each day and each minute of each day is going to be different and soon you will get into some sort of routine.

    xoxoxoxoxo

    I am SO sorry for your loss and if you need a friend let me know. It was my husband not my sister-in-law but I can assure you while the pain never goes away, it does ease (and come back and ease some more then come back then ease some more)
  • StacLegg
    StacLegg Posts: 346 Member
    I am so so so sorry for your loss. It breaks my heart.
    I lost my Mom suddenly in March and I also turned to food.... I packed on the lbs so fast... that is what brought me to this site!! I've been here for 50 days.... my life as I knew it has changed. I know my Mom wouldn't want me to be punishing myself, torchering myself, she would want me to be happy, and that is what has motivated me on the hard days......
    I am sure that your sister in law would also want you to take care of yourself, be healthy!! You can do this..... I've really turned to walking alot when I'm missing my mom, when I have the munchies.... when I'm bored..... go for a walk, its free, its easy, and its working!!!
    again I am so sorry for your loss, please know that you are not alone.....
    Stac
  • crazy4him4552
    crazy4him4552 Posts: 46
    I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. My prayers are going out to you and your/her family and friends. I know that when people see this post, they will pray too. I have found that there are many people that are SO, SO supportive here at MFP.

    You will make it! It is hard, sometimes very hard. I lost my father to malignant melanoma several years ago. At the time, I was an alcoholic, so of course-alcohol was my escape route. I will say this, since then, I have found a peace in Jesus CHrist that passes all understanding. He is now my comfort. I no longer drink. ALL Praise given to my Lord and Savior :smile:
    Ask him to help you. He will. He is there for you, through rain or shine.

    Just keep your focus on your goal and being healthy. Don't give up. This may be a set-back, but tomorrow is another day. You will get your strength back, one day at a time.
    Fellowship with others who believe in you and your goals, and find support from them. Ask God to intervene with the cravings and improper eating too.
    You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.
    God Bless, Valerie
  • Beebee78
    Beebee78 Posts: 703
    I just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you at this time xxx
  • Maggie1960
    Maggie1960 Posts: 322
    Mt heart goes out to you at this time. Please use the friendship and support on here to help you through, you will make it. With all my love and best wishes xxxx
  • heypen
    heypen Posts: 3 Member
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a family member, and seeing the sadness in the rest of your family (your normal support system) must make it hard for you to know what to do to get through this.

    You've already done the right thing--instead of reaching for some food to fill up the ache in your heart you've reached out to us here on MFP for help with your emotions. That's an incredibly positive step. Well done. I'll be thinking of you.
  • dgilner
    dgilner Posts: 120 Member
    I am soo very sorry for your loss. I agree with what the other kind lady said - if you aren't hurting yourself, using drugs, alcohol, to cope - food is the least offensive. But that being said, dont use it as a license to eat. Just exactly like you did today - when you are hurting and sad - reach out. Talk about those feelings and allow others to comfort you the way that food does. Not only will you find yourself surrounded by love - but you will be much thinner too! I ate myself through burying two sons in the past 4 years. I totally get it. You just want the pain to stop. I am sending you hugs, my new friend. Reach out anytime.
  • ropicrdo
    ropicrdo Posts: 35
    I am a breast cancer survivor. This has been a hard journey for me and my children but they deserve a healthy mom. It has taken me almost four years to get my act together. Now I'm going full speed! You will get back where you need to be. Take all the time you need to grieve then when you get your groove back do it for yourself. Remember by taking care of yourself you are not only honoring you, but your family as well. Maybe you do it as cause, for all the sisters that are no longer here and didn't get a chance to finish some of things they would have like to accomplish. Lean on your friends and family and as you see from all the comments here, we are for you as well. I have gotten so inspired by the comments for you from others on this site, I am not going to eat those Wise Cheese Doodles tonight. Add me if you want to, hope I helped.
  • SlimNana48
    SlimNana48 Posts: 28
    I’m so sorry for your lost. My prayers are with you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers. If you need a friend I am here for you. I lost my cousin to breast cancer about 9 years back and the lost & the pain is still there but it does ease up at times. She & I looked like twins so for me it was like losing a part of me. She was 38yrs old at the time & I watched how that ugly disease took over her life & how it changed our family for ever.

    I pray that God will help you through this and keep you on track with your health & the weight loss program you chose to help you on your journey while dealing with your families loss.

    October is National Breast Cancer Month and after losing two cousins, a friend, and a Aunt all to breast cancer I walk for breast cancer every October. This year in my area will be Sunday, October 10, 2010. I know that it’s not much but the money raises goes to breast cancer research and one day I know they will find a cure.

    I believe that your sister-in-law would want you to continue on with your journey for a new healthier you. So when you are filling down & out before you chose to grab something to eat, drink a glass of water, take a walk if you can, or reach out to us and let us help you through this as best as we can. May God be with you at this time & always.
  • loiana72
    loiana72 Posts: 3
    Dear, I am soooo sorry for your lost. There is are no words and no one knows exactly what you are going trough unless went through the same. I lost my sister in - law 6 years ago, she left two little kids, she had breast cancer also, she found out when she was pregnant. Dear, God knows how you feel. And I believe he will give the strength you need. Just hang on and do not go back to the food comfort zone, will make your pain worse.
    I believe we are all here to support you. If you want to talk with me send me a message. I will reach you.

    Your are strong, you are!
  • tater8589
    tater8589 Posts: 616
    I am very very sorry for your loss. I will keep you in my prayers. The pain will be better over time. I know its not what you want to hear. You might try doing some exercise (and music) to help relive some stress and get your mind on something else for a little bit. [I hope I don't offend anyone] God never gives us more than we can handle, and we come away stronger. Look at it like this, God needed his angel back, he has something else for her to do. (I have to remind myself of that sometimes when I miss my best friend. I lost her 4 years ago Nov to a drunk driver)
  • deelava
    deelava Posts: 7
    I am sorry to hear about your loss and know how easy it is to turn to food, especially to those tasty treats that bring us a little bit of comfort for a little while. Unfortunately, once the taste is gone, the pounds remain and push us into a new level of depression and discouragement. It may be soon to do this, but I think reaching out to another in need always helps us get past the hurt we have to go through. Give yourself proper time to grieve and mourn, then recount the wonderful memories of that loved one. Count your blessings in having the opportunity to know her for a while and to be blessed through her. I don't know what your schedule is like, but perhaps volunteering somewhere would be an option at some point. You have many friends here who will be praying for you -- me included -- and in time, God will ease your pain. We all have to learn to deal with life's challenges and obstacles in a more positive way and not with self-destructing habits. Big cyber hug for you today.
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