It's not supposed to be this way...

Hi everyone! I'm new-ish here. I joined over a year ago with a different profile but never fully committed myself. Well now I'm back, and I have the new mindset that community is key. This post may sound whiney or pathetic, but my goal is to be able to look back on this in a year and see how far I've come. So here it goes:

I'm 27, a new mother, work full-time, and go to school part time. I'm currently 224 pounds and wear a size 20/22 pants. Every time I look in the mirror I can't find one thing to like. I have gotten to the point where I get extremely uncomfortable with my husband seeing or touching certain parts of my body. I'm convinced that when someone compliments me that they are just being nice to the fat girl. Actually receiving a compliment makes me highly uncomfortable because I always get that paranoid inkling that they are making fun of me. I hate pictures. I hate shopping. I silently cry in dressing rooms because I just wish I could wear the "pretty girl clothes".

It's not supposed to be this way.

I've done it to myself, now I'm going to fix it.

My goals are:
1) To loose weight and become healthier
2) Gain self confidence
3) Create healthy eating habits
4) Get into an exercise routine that consists of 4-5 workouts per week
5) Log ALL foods...even when I slip up.

I'm going to make my best effort to participate heavily in the forums because I know it will help drive me. Thanks everyone for listening to my spill!