It Cuts Both Ways

In my field of work there are many more men then women, and at my age (33), I have not had the opportunity to mentor anyone. When I have become established enough to mentor others, I would not give a thought as to whether or not they are male or female, only if they mesh enough with me that our relationship would be beneficial. Please don't assume that everyone is prejudice because in my experience there are many more individuals that respect the person then there are those that are prejudice to a persons gender or race.

the Golden Rule is still an astonishingly good piece of advice after all these years...

"do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

That's really the point, and you are absolutely spot on.

I almost used that phrase, but sometimes a point needs to be emphasized to be heard.

Isn't it interesting that virtually every culture (and thus, religion) has some variation of the golden rule?

the Golden Rule is still an astonishingly good piece of advice after all these years...

"do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

That's really the point, and you are absolutely spot on.

I almost used that phrase, but sometimes a point needs to be emphasized to be heard.

Isn't it interesting that virtually every culture (and thus, religion) has some variation of the golden rule?

And we all break it at times. I am no different.

Ditto.

I have had so many say to me that I have "changed their opinion of Black people" like it is a compliment and I should be flattered. It tells me that they judged me before I even opened my mouth. I can honestly say that it makes it hard for me to not assume everyone thinks that way but I certainly try my best. Big believer in the Golden Rule.

Thank you for your post.

I pretty much agree with every single word on the entire thread.

People absolutely should be treated as individuals, not as a member of (add group here).

Re the mentor thing, I'm in a line of work where there's pretty much equal numbers of men and women and this question never even occurred to me, i.e. mentoring someone based on gender. i'd be inclined to mentor whoever is struggling but determined to succeed, which could be the case with either a man or a woman and that would not factor in my decision of who to mentor or not.

However in a field where there's a high predominance of one gender, then i may give extra encouragement to someone of the minority gender. I've been the only female, or one of a tiny number among many men, in quite a lot of situations, including jobs such as factory work and postal delivery, and also including ice hockey, i.e. training with the boys or men, and a few occasions in judo as well. I don't really consider it as a big deal. but I can see that some people might be intimidated by it, so having a mentor that's looking out for you could help a lot.. And some predominantly female jobs, e.g. primary school teacher, there's definitely been cases of negativity and even prejudice aimed at men, sometimes to the point of questioning their motives for being a teacher in the first place especially men who want to teach very young kids (i.e. an implicit accusation of being a paedophile, which is about as nasty an accusation as you can get!!!). So yes if I was a senior teacher in a primary school, i'd look out for male staff and make sure they're treated with respect.

ETA: when in these jobs/sports clubs where I was the only woman/girl or one of a tiny number, I was treated really well the vast majority of the time. I only met with one ice hockey coach who didn't want me training with the boys/men (they were about 17-18) but he didn't attempt to stop me, he let his opinion be known, then treated me as one of the guys on the ice (including no concessions for being female... which I didn't want at all anyway!!)

re prejudice against men - I've seen this a few times, not just prejudice but really negative stereotypes. Like the way men are so often portrayed as stupid and oafish in soap operas, to name just one example. Then there are examples like male primary school teachers. it also annoys me that cancer awareness campaigns often ignore male cancers. My granddad died of breast cancer. Yet all the breast cancer awareness is aimed at women. Also, a lot of issues percieved as feminist issues, such as domestic violence, sexual violence and eating disorders, affect men as well as women and it's frequently a lot harder for men to get help, or even get taken seriously, when they have these problems.

Prejudice against white people - I don't think i've ever been discriminated against for being white. I was actually once the victim of discrimination (quite a serious incident) for being English, by a Welsh person. And believe me there's been a LOT of that over the centuries in the British isles, mostly against the Irish, but also against the Scottish and Welsh, but also backlash against English because of this. To the point of acts of terrorism resulting in many getting killed.

To take this discussion a step further, the terms "black" and "white" totally do my head in because they are not even remotely homogenous groups. Black is many diverse countries spanning nearly the entire continent of Africa, all the descendants of people from these countries wherever they live now, and some people use it to mean all native Australians, South Asians and anyone else with really dark skin. White is all of Europe, the many and varied people who originate from Europe, and a significant part of the middle east, at least. Maybe a few other people I haven't thought of.................. yet they're reduced to homogenous groups by the terms "black" and "white", as though they are all alike, and by some judged accordingly. So assuming, for example, that all "whites" are privileged, is not really fair on someone who (for example) grew up as a Catholic* in Northern Ireland while the troubles there were at their worst and Catholics were being badly oppressed.... so you can't assume based on skin colour that someone has never experienced discrimination, ethnic violence, living under constant threat of violence, living under oppression by another ethnic/class/whatever group.

*ethnic group defined by religion, but the protestant v catholic conflict there is not about religion, the groups are defined that way, that is all............ the situation is a lot better nowadays, I'm referring to what it was like in the 80s and thereabouts.

so yeah........ treat people as individuals................