Do you ever wonder what people REALLY think about you?

As my weight drops and I hit milestones I post my story... I've lost 101 pounds. Have tears of joy. Remember all the hurt and think about good things to come. Friends post replies and say nice things. But I can't help wonder what people REALLY think? Are they just being kind? I'm just not sure! Maybe its just that I don't really see what I'm looking at or know me at all? Thoughts?

Replies

  • 007bondage
    007bondage Posts: 631 Member
    Does it really matter what they really think?

    It is up to you how you use their messages of congratulations, encouragement and praise. This journey is about you, not them. Draw what you need from those comments and use them as your own reward, motivation and inspiration. Use them to plan and motivate you for whatever your next goal or milestone is.

    For what it's worth, I think you are amazing. Truly inspirational and I am sure that there are many others who are motivated by what you have achieved so far and will be using you as "proof". Living proof that real people can do really amazing things if they actually make the effort to do it themselves.

    Keep it up, girl.

    x
  • thepetiterunner
    thepetiterunner Posts: 1,238 Member
    Does it really matter what they really think?

    It is up to you how you use their messages of congratulations, encouragement and praise. This journey is about you, not them. Draw what you need from those comments and use them as your own reward, motivation and inspiration. Use them to plan and motivate you for whatever your next goal or milestone is.

    For what it's worth, I think you are amazing. Truly inspirational and I am sure that there are many others who are motivated by what you have achieved so far and will be using you as "proof". Living proof that real people can do really amazing things if they actually make the effort to do it themselves.

    Keep it up, girl.

    ^ +1. This is about YOU, not them.
  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
    Personally I couldn't care less what people think. I am one of six sisters(all very overweight) and not ONE of them has commented on my weight loss, and my mother (also overweight) has only had negative comments. So what? I'm not doing it for anyone but me. My trainer comments on my progress. My scale, tape measure, and clothes all tell me that I'm doing great. That's all I need.
  • Even before we lose weight, does anyone really 'know' us? Our struggles, dreams, hopes, worries, fears. Can anyone truly know us when we are always so dynamic?

    I agree with these wise souls, that what matters is are you willing to accept and support and be open to the person you are, the person you are growing into, and the person you will be in the future? If you show up for yourself, then you will be surrounded by folks who are truly devoted to you as well. We attract who we are.

    As for people posting and are they just being kind. In college I did a longevity study of on-line dating services. It was on linguistic cues. Trust me- your friends here are as vested in your success as you are. they encourage you with the only resource they have- words. On-line people do not have to interact. They chose to do so. The essence of you attracted people to your journey and now they are supporting you. It's not like working together in an office when you literally HAVE to coo over the 4,987 photo of an office mates mouth-breathing grandchild because it keeps the social lubricant of work going. In a weird and substantial way our interactions in a on-line forum are far more sincere.
    peace.
  • We put everyone into neat little boxes of how they fit into our lives. We do it from the moment we meet people and we build a relationship based on what we feel we bring over the other person. When that other person either isn't what we first expected, or breaks out of the mold it can cause all sorts of negative feelings and rifts. Some well covered up, others not so well. If anyone is not pleased for you with regards your improved health then it's because it has changed/highlighted something for them. You have to be you for you, changing, evolving and improving. And not a 'you' that others want you to be. Don't worry about it, no one can please everyone. Be proud, stand tall and keep doing it for yourself.

    Congratulations on a phenomenal weight loss btw!
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
    I think you're amazing!

    Wanna know what I really think?

    You're amazing!

    :smile:
  • What matters most is being good to yourself and having positive feelings about yourself. What matters second is trying to surround yourself with people who are kind and genuine.

    People rarely say kind things solely to placate another person. 99% of compliments are meant as compliments. The other 1% doesn't matter. As for people who go out of their way to make you feel bad, pity them, but don't listen to them.
  • Nope, "what other people think of you is none of your business."
  • glenclouser
    glenclouser Posts: 21 Member
    You know I totally understand the natural desire to be liked by other people. I really do. It is human nature to desire approval. That's how we start in life, seeking our parents approval. Now that I am grown I have discovered the tremendous danger in leaning on the approval of others. The problem with people is that you can only take comments from the general public at face value and when you will always be discouraged be the people who are fake. The trick is learning who to allow influence you.
    My standard rule is the following:

    Comments and compliments by the general public (people who are in your life but not part of your support system) are accepted and welcome but I really could give a rip what they think.

    There are however a precious few that have earned the right to be in my support system. A small circle of people who have been accepting of me no matter what. When they confront me about when I get derailed I have to take them seriously. They have earned the right to tell me difficult things because their love and support is true. Conversely, when these people say a compliment to me or encourage me...it is pure GOLD!

    That's just my 2 cents. I'm on the journey just like everyone else:)
  • CherylP67
    CherylP67 Posts: 772 Member
    As my weight drops and I hit milestones I post my story... I've lost 101 pounds. Have tears of joy. Remember all the hurt and think about good things to come. Friends post replies and say nice things. But I can't help wonder what people REALLY think? Are they just being kind? I'm just not sure! Maybe its just that I don't really see what I'm looking at or know me at all? Thoughts?

    Take it for what it is, they are saying nice things in support of you.

    What people think of me is none of my business, I happen to think I'm turning into a rockstar in my own life and that's what matters to me.

    You're pretty awesome with a 101 pound weight loss, there's so much you've seen and done on your journey, marvel at yourself!
  • 7SlotFever
    7SlotFever Posts: 17 Member
    As my weight drops and I hit milestones I post my story... I've lost 101 pounds. Have tears of joy. Remember all the hurt and think about good things to come. Friends post replies and say nice things. But I can't help wonder what people REALLY think? Are they just being kind? I'm just not sure! Maybe its just that I don't really see what I'm looking at or know me at all? Thoughts?

    First, I want to congratulate you on hitting that 101 milestone. That freaking ROCKS!

    I don't know you, but I AM proud of you because I know what kind of work and dedication it takes to achieve that.
    You should hold your head high, shake your fist at the world and let them know that YOU are kicking *kitten* and taking names - one oz at a time!

    Now, about what people REALLY think.

    I recently hit the 60lb mark and felt truly, deeply disappointed when I saw friends I hadn't seen in months and not one said a word about the drastic change in my appearance.
    Then, just one friend came up to me and said "WOW! You're HALF the Kate I saw a year ago!" It filled my heart so full it overflowed my eyes. All I could do was to hug his neck and tell him thank you. I felt like I got my trophy for participation ;)

    Others may not quite know what to say. They may be afraid of offending you by saying how you look great after losing weight, thinking that you will hurt by their reference to your former self.. This PC society we live in makes everything we say feel like walking on egg shells... which is why I am SO anti-PC.

    When your friends say something in acknowledgement of your accomplishments, let them know that you appreciate them. But if your spidey senses are telling you that they are kind to your face and bad mouthing you behind your back... you should pay attention.
  • 7SlotFever
    7SlotFever Posts: 17 Member
    I think you're amazing!

    Wanna know what I really think?

    You're amazing!

    :smile:

    Yea! THAT!! :flowerforyou:
  • jollyjoe321
    jollyjoe321 Posts: 529 Member
    Recently had my own brother call me anorexic for wanting to lose this extra 7lbs to hit my goal weight before I start a bulk.

    hurt me quite a lot really, plus it shows his blatant ignorance of true medical conditions. Just motivates me further to get the body shape I want and am happy with, not what everyone else thinks!