Distorted Body Image

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I bet almost all of you know it, but now I am pretty concerned, because on one hand I believe I am not actually fat (though with my bmi being 28 or 29 I am almost obese), on the other hand I feel so ugly and huge in my body. Every time I see a normal girl and look down at me I feel like I must be at least 4 times bigger than her. I need to find some way to figure out my body image without all this subjective crap. Does someone have any tips for that? How to deal with this, because it IS affecting my everyday life.

Thank you :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    Have to talked to a physician about this? I think that would be a first step in helping control the problem.
  • jillbedford
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    Thanks for sharing this honest concern.
    First, you are right about the BMI being a little too high. My BMI is 25 and I feel a little too fat as well. We live in a very fat society where obesity is common place.
    If you BMI was 15 or less and you were saying you felt too big in your body, then I would feel concerned.
    I find regular exercise that is 30 minutes or longer to be very helpful to feeling better inside.
    If you had childhood sexual abuse, this commonly leads to weird body attitudes. If this is the case, find a safe place to talk this out.
    Good luck on your journey and don't give up.
  • Tasha1476
    Tasha1476 Posts: 220
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    I know how you feel. Have you tried going to www.mybodygallery.com (think thats the addy) you can see other people at your exact height and weight. It make make you feel a lot better. But I do agree with the poster before me, if this is a problem that persists and really effects your day to day life, you should talk to a doctor or counselor about fixing your body image.

    Hope you feel better soon!
  • Adusenka
    Adusenka Posts: 108 Member
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    Thanks guys, I know that I am overweight but my body image changes too fast and too often for me to feel "safe" if you know what I mean. I am working on losing weight but I want to see myself from one point of view (preferably the way I truly am, not extremely fat, nor thin..)

    thank you :heart:
  • Adusenka
    Adusenka Posts: 108 Member
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    I know how you feel. Have you tried going to www.mybodygallery.com (think thats the addy) you can see other people at your exact height and weight. It make make you feel a lot better. But I do agree with the poster before me, if this is a problem that persists and really effects your day to day life, you should talk to a doctor or counselor about fixing your body image.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    That's awesome site, thank you for sharing! I already found a picture that I'm gonna relate to, hope this will help :), thank you :flowerforyou:
  • Tasha1476
    Tasha1476 Posts: 220
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    I know how you feel. Have you tried going to www.mybodygallery.com (think thats the addy) you can see other people at your exact height and weight. It make make you feel a lot better. But I do agree with the poster before me, if this is a problem that persists and really effects your day to day life, you should talk to a doctor or counselor about fixing your body image.

    Hope you feel better soon!

    That's awesome site, thank you for sharing! I already found a picture that I'm gonna relate to, hope this will help :), thank you :flowerforyou:

    You are more than welcome! :) I know that like almost all women don't see ourselves the way we actually look, so sometimes when we see other people like us, its easier to put into perspective. I wish you the very very best on your weight loss journey, feel free to add me if you want and we can support each other. :D
  • chanstriste13
    chanstriste13 Posts: 3,277 Member
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    i am so with you here! i know i am overweight...probably even in the obese category, but in my mind's eye, i am this huge, completely out of shape woman....almost cartoony - but i'm not that bad. i know i'm not, but i don't know i'm not. you know? last night we were out shopping and my husband brings a medium size jacket and a size 12 pair of jeans to try on....i'm looking at him like he's insane, because i wear an xl jacket and size 16 pants. but he says to me, 'this looks like it would fit on you', and thinks i'm crazy for thinking he's so crazy! it's going to be a long process...but we'll all get there!
  • brow5204
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    I think that, in order to fix your body image issues, you have to look at your view of others. The one thing on this post that jumped out at me was"normal girls." What is normal? Do you mean normal as in average, or normal as in skinny, or normal as in what you wish your normal was? I am not criticizing because I have the same problems, but your wording really made me think about it. My issue is not the way I see other people, but the way I see myself. I find myself talking about needing to lose weight, and the person I am talking to says: "what about me, I'm bigger/the same size as you do I look so bad?" And I usually haven't even thought of it. I am mainly aggressive towards my own image. I have lost 20 pounds and, granted my BMI is still higher than it "should be" but I don't see any of that loss. To my overly critical eyes I look the same as I did 20 pounds heavier, though my clothes are baggier, and a few people have noticed. Why can't I see it? Will I ever be thin enough to satisfy myself? Will I always appear "fat" in my own eyes?

    I think this is something that we all need to be conscious of...I mean, I am so critical of myself that I don't believe my boyfriend when he tells me I'm pretty...I just can't imagine anyone seeing something nice about me....

    Thanks for posting this
  • becomingsara
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    The thing that helped me FINALLY get it (not switch from, 'yeah I look fine' and a split second later to 'omg I am bigger than a couch'), was to make the person I saw in the mirror as NEUTRAL (not GOOD or BAD), just as a bing, a human. Then I noticed that the body I was wearing wasn't REALLY who I was supposed to be if I hadn't gone through a hard life...it is all about finding the real me. I hope you can find your you too :)
  • Nya_chan
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    you gotta remember that you are beautiful as you no matter what. you just are working to make everyone else see the same beauty that you know is there. i used to be way bigger than i am now, and when i look in the mirror, i still see myself as the huge girl i was. we all have up and down days. instead of letting it get you down, use it as motivation. get determined. you're amazing as you, so don't worry about the rest of the world. k?
  • tacticalhippie
    tacticalhippie Posts: 596 Member
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    i have issues with body image. i still see me as 100+ lbs heaver in the mirror.

    my bmi is 23-ish and my body fat it still high (for me). lots of belly jiggle from 2 huge babies and being obsese for so long.
  • annglenn
    annglenn Posts: 162 Member
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    I can so understand this. Even when I was 150 pounds I thought I was so obese. Now I am 298.6 and feel like there is no future. In the past when someone would compliment on weight loss it would into trauma and I would gain more weight. I believe I did this in order to protect myself and to push others away.
  • beach_bum_gurl
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    After losing approx 125 lbs, I too had a distorted body image. When I weighed over 300 lbs I did not see myself as heavy as I was, and when I got down to around 190 I saw myself as way heavier than I was. Sometimes walking past a mirror I would not recognize the person looking back at me. Body image distortion is very common among people who are losing weight, particularly large amounts of weight. A therapist helped me with this issue. Perhaps this trick may be helpful to you.

    Go to the mall with some close girlfriends that you really trust. Sit in the food court or somewhere where you can people watch. Then you start pointing out women to your girlfriends and say "Bigger or smaller" meaning is she bigger or smaller than me and have your girlfriends tell you if the person you pointed out is bigger or smaller than you. Also have your girlfriends point out women to you that are a similar size to you. This exercise really helped me in figuring out how I really look.
  • PinkAndSparkle
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    I hear ya. Sometimes it takes a really long time for your brain to catch up with your body size. I was overweight when I was in high school, then way underweight in college, and now I'm smack dab in the middle of healthy and STILL feel overweight...body image is a *****.
    That website is AMAZING and gives me so much insight. I especially like how it gives all the different clothing sizes women are regardless of their weight, it's a good reminder.
    Good luck, you can do this! Just know that you are beautiful no matter what size you are!
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
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    After losing approx 125 lbs, I too had a distorted body image. When I weighed over 300 lbs I did not see myself as heavy as I was, and when I got down to around 190 I saw myself as way heavier than I was. Sometimes walking past a mirror I would not recognize the person looking back at me. Body image distortion is very common among people who are losing weight, particularly large amounts of weight. A therapist helped me with this issue. Perhaps this trick may be helpful to you.

    Go to the mall with some close girlfriends that you really trust. Sit in the food court or somewhere where you can people watch. Then you start pointing out women to your girlfriends and say "Bigger or smaller" meaning is she bigger or smaller than me and have your girlfriends tell you if the person you pointed out is bigger or smaller than you. Also have your girlfriends point out women to you that are a similar size to you. This exercise really helped me in figuring out how I really look.

    I have been hugely struggling with this lately, and your post was very helpful and supportive. Thank you!