Social gatherings and food

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hnp1987
hnp1987 Posts: 15
in Motivation and Support
Hi there!

I was wondering what are some good solutions, alternatives, or even excuses for social dinners. One friend I have had for years refuses to sit at home over coffee to catch up (what I have been doing with my friends instead of dinning out) and insists on going out. Usually to a bar to have bar foods. I am embarrassed to admit that since she was not very flexible I have been dodging her for a long time but now feel bad and decided to be the "better person" and bend and go out to a restaurant/bar tonight. As I do not drink and have recently had a bunch of pizza I am not wanting to order anything. What would you say or do so that you do not have to be that awkward person sitting at the bar with nothing???

Replies

  • mrsjones2point0
    mrsjones2point0 Posts: 332 Member
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    You can make better choices in a bar, order things without sauce, or not fried. Sometimes you just have to look, or order a side salad (depending on the bar you go to).

    Prep yourself as to what you are going to avoid - do not order anything fried, or dripping in sauce. And really, if there is nothing on the menu you can eat then say that to your friend until she gets the hint that she needs to find alternate things to do with you. . .just look at the menu, look at her and say very plainly "there is nothing on this menu I can eat" and then she can either order and let you watch her or she can be supportive and suggest an alternative.
  • chad_phillips1123
    chad_phillips1123 Posts: 229 Member
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    I guess if she's not willing to come by for coffee (by herself or as a group to catch up) maybe have a board game night or something to coax her out into social gathering (that's not meal/restaurant based).

    As far as you going out to restaurants with her, maybe order some steamed veggies or something lite (and take leftovers home). Or just explain to them you can't always order food to socialize over and eventually she may get the idea.

    Possibly let her know that you'll need some time in advance to plan for a restaurant meal so you don't go over your calorie goals.
  • bwogilvie
    bwogilvie Posts: 2,130 Member
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    Some soups and chilis, or a salad with the dressing on the side, are good foods in a bar. You can order a diet soda with a wedge of lemon or lime, for a nearly zero-cal drink (it's bad form to spend a lot of time at a bar without ordering anything, since you are effectively renting the space for a brief period). Or get a Virgin Mary, which is a Bloody Mary without the vodka. It's got a lot of sodium, but not very many calories, and because it's spicy, you won't drink it very fast. A good bartender should be able to suggest some other low-cal mocktails.
  • hnp1987
    hnp1987 Posts: 15
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    Thanks all, very good ideas!
  • Sassyallday
    Sassyallday Posts: 136 Member
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    If you do want a drink, Skinny Girl cocktails are popular at a lot of places. But, if I have alcohol, my good judgment about food goes right out the window! So, be cautious.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    Check the menu, if there's nothing on there you want/feel like/can fit into your day then just say something like "I had a late lunch and I'm not hungry, you should get something though". Get a drink because I think it's sorta rude to sit in a bar without buying anything. It really shouldn't be about the food, you're there for a catch up.
  • TheLung
    TheLung Posts: 58
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    How about being honest. Tell your friend you don't eat the type of food a bar has to offer and if she wants to find a better place you would be up for meeting.

    Is there a Chili's, Applebees, or a similar type of place in your area?
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,121 Member
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    I'm going to buck the trend here.

    I lost nearly 60 pounds and have maintained just fine while still having the occasional cocktail, cheeseburger, wings, pizza, French fries, fried zucchini, loaded baked potato, etc. You can eat out, you can have cocktails. If you go over, just make up for it by eating less the next day and getting some exercise. Thin people naturally do this all the time. It's about balance and long-term behavior, not deprivation.
  • JustSammi
    JustSammi Posts: 79
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    I'm going to buck the trend here.

    I lost nearly 60 pounds and have maintained just fine while still having the occasional cocktail, cheeseburger, wings, pizza, French fries, fried zucchini, loaded baked potato, etc. You can eat out, you can have cocktails. If you go over, just make up for it by eating less the next day and getting some exercise. Thin people naturally do this all the time. It's about balance and long-term behavior, not deprivation.

    QFT!

    Just enjoy yourself and make it fit in. This is supposed to be a lifestyle change so you can't avoid these things forever. I eat out once a week and drink at weekends and it doesn't stop my progress. You just need to fit it in. :drinker:
  • Yellow54321
    Yellow54321 Posts: 2
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    Look at the menu before hand and see what is low calorie/healthy/somewhat healthy and ask your friend to split it with you. I know people are telling you to use willpower but I have found that when I only go to places tha serve healthy food, I don't feel pressured to eat unhealthy or tempted because everyone in there has a great healthy meal in front of them.

    Your friends should respect your fitness/health goals, and not force food on you.

    I had to recently tell one of my friends that our plan to go on a chocolate tour was not going to work with my diet/races I had coming up. A real friend will respect that and she did.

    Also, there are healthy restaurants to go to in my area DC metro so I am sure there could be some in your area, don't be afraid to make those healthy restaurants your spot.

    I sympathize with you because I have a friend who always wants to go to dinner or brunch or drinks but I honestly would rather us replace dinner, brunch, and drinks with working out or cooking a healthy meal. She is coming along though.

    One last thing, I had to realize that I had to work on my will power and knowing that every day will contribute to my goal. That is the main reason I am here on MFP and it's helped tremendously already.
  • hnp1987
    hnp1987 Posts: 15
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    Once again thanks all! Just an update about last night....I had a healthy dinner/snack before hand, so when I got there I was not starving and was feeling really good. I did not order one single drink because, yes, my food choices go down the drain. I am also not into diet soda's or virgins as the virgins still get me wanting a real drink haha. The bartenders where cool since I opted for a table and I am a former lunch time "regular". She offered me a drink and so did another random gentlemen and I said I was just fine. At the end of the night (this really made me happy) she told me she realized that going out to a bar wasn't really that important and that next time we could just meet up at my place. I guess me sitting there with nothing may have made her feel bad, not was I was going for, I was just listening to what I truly wanted...but it worked out.

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