How do I balance it all?
dizzow
Posts: 65
I am struggling with trying to figure out how to balance everything in life now that I have added in more time to plan and prepare food, going to the gym, and logging all on mfp.
I am almost 50, morbidly obese, [so not a lot of energy goin on yet] I've got a home and husband to maintain, my daughter and granddaughter live with us, I'm a college student and go to church 3 times a week. And now I've added in this weight loss, lifestyle change. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm trying to restructure our meals with healthy recipes, but its not easy to relearn to cook after 30ish years of not cooking healthy. My house is not clean... it's far from a hoarders house but I wouldn't want people I don't know here. I've just had so many changes, plus I think I was depressed for a couple years and my energy level has been sooooo low, I just got behind. Homework takes up a big chunk of time.
My daughter helps some, but she has a child to care for, a job and has her own homework.
I'm also wondering how long others spend on working out. By the time I drive to the gym, work out, shower and come home, it's been 2 1/2 to 3 hrs. It seems like a huge chunk of time and then when I get home I sometimes don't have the energy to do much else for awhile at least.
I welcome your advice or input.
I am almost 50, morbidly obese, [so not a lot of energy goin on yet] I've got a home and husband to maintain, my daughter and granddaughter live with us, I'm a college student and go to church 3 times a week. And now I've added in this weight loss, lifestyle change. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed. I'm trying to restructure our meals with healthy recipes, but its not easy to relearn to cook after 30ish years of not cooking healthy. My house is not clean... it's far from a hoarders house but I wouldn't want people I don't know here. I've just had so many changes, plus I think I was depressed for a couple years and my energy level has been sooooo low, I just got behind. Homework takes up a big chunk of time.
My daughter helps some, but she has a child to care for, a job and has her own homework.
I'm also wondering how long others spend on working out. By the time I drive to the gym, work out, shower and come home, it's been 2 1/2 to 3 hrs. It seems like a huge chunk of time and then when I get home I sometimes don't have the energy to do much else for awhile at least.
I welcome your advice or input.
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Replies
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Perhaps try DVD's at home to cut your exercise down drastically. You can get in a great workout in only 35-45 minutes. I love anything Jillian Micheal's but there are TONS of options out there. You can even preview most things on youtube before buying it. Also, doing DVD's at home makes it harder to make excuses to avoid working out. Good luck!0
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I would suggest renting DVDs from the library (Biggest Loser ones are awesome)-it's free! and work out at home on your own time. I do belong to a gym, and go mostly on weekends, but during the week I spend an hour upstairs per day doing a DVD and I never had to leave the house. I think that would save you time without driving. I would also pre plan your meals if you can to keep you organized. Good luck!0
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Don't forget, cleaning is great exercise! Don't feel like you need to do everything all at once. I attempted to do that too and before you know it you're frustrated and overwhelmed and then you give up.
Focus on the healthy eating first, it will have the most impact on your life and will show the most results on the scale. You've probably already paid for the gym membership, and I applaud your drive to do this, but you may want to consider something that fits better into your lifestyle. Park farther way from the church and get in a little extra walk to get there. Park farther away on campus. Build exercise into your daily routine so you barely notice it. You'll find as you lose weight and start walking more that your energy level will improve too.
As for cooking healthy, I actually found it easier than the old way I used to cook. Meals are a little more basic. I pick a lean meat, a veggie of some sort and a small portion of rice or potato. You can still have some of the things you love but just make sure to weigh it and be accountable for it.
Good luck!0 -
You are trying to do it all at once, which will just discourage you.
Start with
1. Tracking your food, everything doesn't need to be "healthy" but eat within your allotted calories. Smaller portions of the bad stuff.
2. Exercise if you have time but not 2.5-3 hrs a day. That is not sustainable. Walk for 30 min to start. You must have 30 free min to go for a walk. Even in the winter. Don't try to go from no exercising to a 3 hr a day gym rat. You don't even need to belong to a gym to work out.
3. Start slowly incorporating better foods, small changes. Find healthy but easy recipes, increase protrn, cut out sugary drinks. One change at a time.0 -
I would also suggest workout out at home to cut down on your time it takes to get back and forth from the gym. Go for walks. There are also so many DVD's to choose from. Leslie Sansone's walk at home dvds are great, especially if you are just starting out.0
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When I used to go to the gym in my town it took at least 2 hours as well, which does eat up quite a bit of the day, especially when you've got so much else going on.
I'd also suggest checking out workout DVDs - and as others said, you can either check them out online or see if your local library carries any before investing money. Most are $10 at WalMart or Target but I know I've wasted $20-$30 buying workout DVDs that looked fun but weren't my cup of tea upon viewing.
Leslie Sansome does some wonderful walk at home workouts and a few come with resistance bands. She's upbeat and cheerful without being too annoying.
Some of the Biggest Loser workouts can be challenging but I always figured if those folks were obese and could do them, so could I! They all include a low impact version to follow along with so you don't feel like you have to keep up with everyone jumping around, etc.
The other great thing about working out at home is that you can hit pause when you need a water break or a bathroom break. Plus you can break up your workouts easily - do 10 mintues in the morning, 10 minutes around lunch time and 10 minutes in the afternoon! Makes it much easier to fit in with all your other things.0 -
I am a mom/wife/employee/sister/daughter etc as well.
If you don't make your health a priority who will take care of your family when you can't???? Make yourself the priority and all other things will fall into place, really it will.
I don't go to a gym I workout at home about 30-45mins a day...I go for walks with my husband when I can peel him off the couch, Jillian MIcheals DVDs and lift weights.
I understand your daughter I have a son who works full time and doesn't do much to help out except doing his own laundry and mows the lawn.
So what if your house isn't clean...mine isn't dirty but it could use a good scrub (fall cleaning) I will get to it..maybe I wont.
As for the church if that helps keep it up.......but remember (I am not religious but know the bible) your body is a temple you should treat it as such. I am not talking about eating "clean" or only "whole foods" I am talking about taking care of yourself.0 -
Don't try to do it all in one go. Like you I'm extremely busy with family to care for, a full time job as well as a lot of volunteer activities I do and when the doctor told me do a diary, I thought great I've failed before I start.
My biggest help was the MFP app on my smart phone, if you have a smart phone, get the app, that way you can add where ever you are.
If the gym is taking to much time out of your day start with a walk round the block, I started with a 1 mile walk in May now I do a 2 mile jog, I get up a bit earlier in the morning and do it before I get ready for work. Do the little things the dieticians always tell us to do. Park further away and walk, take the steps instead of the elevator. Also log in EVERYTHING, even if you go over still log it and do it EVERY day. Start with a few simple healthy meals, swap fruit and veg for your more unhealthy snacks.
Also take all the support you can from the people on here, there is so much information and support and it will help. Feel free to add me as a friend if you would like :flowerforyou:0 -
No need to go 0 to a million in nothing flat. Try starting with just logging what you eat normally. After doing that a couple if weeks, you'll find places to make small changes that add up to something big. Start with just being more active. Standing burns more calories than sitting, walking burns even more. You don't need to be going to the gym for 2+ hours-that's crazy. Work on small changes - small things that you feel you can sustain forever. As you become comfortable with one change, add another. Sustainability is the key to success.0
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You said you're a college student, do you get free use of a gym at your college? Assuming you are an on-campus student and not online-learning. I was just thinking maybe you could take your gym bag to campus (leave it in your car), pack a little snack, and workout while you're on campus to eliminate a trip out. I work for a university, so this is what I do daily! I throw together my workout bag the night before and then just run over there after work. I eat a little snack (like nuts, a greek yogurt, etc) about 1 hour before I hit the gym.
I do my housework a little each night so it's not such a daunting task. I like to do floors one night, dusting another night, the bathrooms another night, bedding on a weekend-day, etc.0 -
First just baby steps like eliminating sugary drinks and or foods, or processed meats, or fast food just one at a time and really just try to move more walk when you can take stairs when you can make time if you work at a desk to stand up and sit down several times do a few squats while at desk. One step at a time for your lunch time go for a walk take the stairs up and down if you can only do one flight do one flight and strive for two or 1.5. Again just baby steps once you get started it gets addicting to be honest and it becomes second nature. Buy a food scale just throw it on it and note the nutritioanl info then add it up. Like most ppl there diet remains pretty consistant so once this is done you will know it.0
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Plan your gym time better; meaning go to the gym with exactly what you are going to do that day and keep it to 30-45min sessions no longer. As for cleaning what I do is do small stuff as I go through the house like I clean the bathroom sinks after I brush my teeth and will clean the toilet right before jumping in the shower. Things like that so pieces of it get done along the way and I don't spend a day cleaning everything in the house. If you have people in the house helping you clean divide up the chores amongst each other. You go to Church...try and get some of the people there to do a 30 min walk with you as you talk about upcoming Church activities, bible study, etc. DVDs for home is also a good idea and parking further away is another great idea. For me if the day has been to hectic to do a workout I make sure I do a set of sit ups, push up and squats before bed for about 15 mins. See if your daughter would do a 15 min walk around the neighbor hood with you during a break from doing homework. I did that while I was in school so I could get a break and a small stretch in (would also march in place during commercials or if the weather was bad outside and I needed to stretch from sitting doing homework).0
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Just break it down into manageable goals.
Cooking - make the same things but look at ways of making them healthier. I use a lot of Slimming World recipes as they are really tasty but I've made my own low fat version of spaghetti bolognaise and lasagne which I think taste just as good as the full fat versions. Plus I use the same sauce recipe so one night will have spaghetti bolognaise and the next night I will make the lasagne and doesn't take long to make up/cook. Also things like omelettes made with one egg and 2 egg whites can be really filling and healthy, just pack lots of veggies into them, best bit about these they don't take long to make.
Exercise - my only exercise is walking but I go straight from work and walk 3 miles, it takes me an hour to do this.
You are doing amazing with everything that you have to do so don't be too hard on yourself.
Good luck on your journey x0 -
When I'm feeling overwhelmed, and particularly when I was going to school, I make/made a lot of use of the timer function on my phone (or the timer on my microwave). I set it for 10 or 15 minutes and clean. I start with what I would be most embarrassed by if someone came over, and go from there - totally not room specific as I jump from job to job. I just keep going until the timer goes off, and then stop. If you do this every day, you'd be surprised how much progress you'll make with the house, and also by keeping moving for a set period of time, it is really also exercise as well.
I wouldn't go to the gym if it took over 2 hours. In fact, I don't belong to a gym. I go and walk around the block instead. [EDIT: I used mapmyrun.com to map out 1 mile, 2 mile and 3 mile routes around my house - which one I do depends on the time available.] As others have mentioned, home DVDs are great too. I also like 1 hour long fitness classes - there are a couple of small studios near me where I take classes, one is a yoga studio and one's a ballet barre fitness place. Most yoga classes are too long for me at 1.5 hours plus, but they have occasional 1 hour long ones.0 -
These are suggestions - but - I'd say ditch the gym.
In the amount of time it takes you to get there, work out, and get home - you could have already worked out, cleaned your house, and gone to church!
Work out around your house - walk, borrow DVD's, get a used treadmill - stick to home-base.
If you can - work out when no one else can 'get' to you - very early in the morning (before anyone else wakes up) - later in the evening.
as far as house-cleaning goes - try to delegate...........! Set up a chart - stick to it.0 -
If you have a lot to lose and time constraints skip the exercising completely for now. Work on ONE THING at a time, master it, then move on. Right now you have too much on your plate (no pun intended).
Spend your free time working on the meals, planning them, cooking, etc Once you have your timing down and you have dropped another 20 pounds or so, then slowly introducing walking for 20 minutes a day. Once you have that down, then re-add the gym to it.
You can't expect to flip a switch and go full speed on the gym, changing eating and everything else, all at once.
Remember, weight loss is 90% what you eat, and 10% exercise. Exercise is not bad, but for now, it can wait a bit until you get other things in order.0 -
It sounds to me like you need to make your health your priority, everything else will fit into place if you do. You'll have more energy for studies, housework and church commitments. Can you break everything you need to do now down into absolute essentials to be done for a while and give yourself space to crack the fitness routine. I agree with the others about ditching the gym as it's just not convenient enough to stick with and finding something to do at home. Even walking from your house if that's feasible or DVDs will be better. Take it slow and build up...this has got to be something that can fit into your life forever and not just something that wears you down in the short term and results in failure.
As for the housework...the 'fly lady' is popular http://www.flylady.net/ for slowly taking control of your home.0 -
If you think you could do exercise at home then great, but if you actively enjoy going to the gym, then it may be self-defeating to give it up. I take around 3-5 gym classes a week and each one takes me around 30 mins travel + 60 mins class + 30 mins shower, so around 2 hours, but it's time well spent. I'd rather do that than housework any day!0
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Wow! You do have a lot going on! I know this has been suggested but most days I get home, throw on my workout clothes, pop in a dvd and get to work. I prefer P90X which takes about an hour. So, hmm, that's about an hour and 10 mins - done!
Also, don't know if you do this but I prepare some of my meals ahead. I have extra time on Sunday or Monday night, so I will make my egg white omellettes and salads and baked chicken for the week.
You'll get it down, it may take some shifting around in your schedule but in time you will figure it out. Maybe write it down and reorganize it on paper. It helps me to see it written out.0 -
I hope this is not too rude a question, but what does your husband do, if you do everything?0
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It's hard and some of us are wired in such a way that we feel guilty for doing something that is solely for our benefit. I was one of those for years and it ended when I realized that I had to take care of myself. It is great and honorable to be the goto person for everyone, it is no less honorable to keep yourself strong and healthy mentally and physically. Take time for yourself, stop doing everything for everyone, delegate. I have been married for 19 years and I was a stay at home mom when my children were young. I did everything in and around the house. My husband went to work and I even served his dinner to him in the recliner. When I went to work full time and the kids were older, I said 'y'all are going to have to help out around here. They didn't. When I changed jobs and started changing my lifestyle, I reminded them I needed help. Then I just simply stopped doing everything. I did what I had time to do when I wanted to do it and left the rest undone. Hubby jumped in and does most of the laundry and some of the cooking, the kids have chores, as well as both being involved in afterschool activities and part time jobs. It is preparing them for the real world. All of this to say, value yourself, take what you need.0
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I agree with 'delisep', tell hubby you need his help, or simply stop doing everything. When he needs laundry washed, I guess he'll figure it out! 30 minutes of exercise should be enough to start with. If you still want to go to the gym (vs home dvd's), could you go early in the morning & then you are showered for the day (are you showering twice a day now?) It will come, just focus on one thing at a time...healthier eating would be my first priority.0
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He works full time and manages the the buses at our church, mows the lawn when it needs it. other then that.... chair, food, and netflicx... frustrating. btw im her daughter.0
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It can be a bit overwhelming if you start piling on everything. Simplify it and look at the smaller picture.
Sometimes I exercise in 5 minute chunks, 10 minute chunks, 20 minute chunks, whatever I can fit in. If all you can give is 5 minutes then that is still better than nothing. I don't drive to any gym since I'm really only doing cardio I just moved everything out of the living room and I hula hoop, dance to bad pop music, do walking and marching. If driving to gym is too much use your yard and just time it by music or whatnot?
Also just keep in mind, tracking food is only a few minutes a day, you can even pre-plan and pretrack and get it down whatever amount of time suits you. You can even get a scale, weigh everything, cook it up and freeze and serve out your dinner daily.
If you have money to spend, I'd recommend something like pedometer or fitbit as a motivational tool to add steps into your day. You can also get an idea from them how much walking you do. There are also free apps for smart phones that do this.
But yeah, I kind of ignore the larger picture and focus on meeting my basic daily requirements and it seems to be working out so it's worth a try?0 -
I didn't even think about the gym at school! I can check it out, but I'm pretty sure it's going to be the young set and therefore intimidating.. but, I can sure check it out. Thanks for the idea.0
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Oh gosh no... I don't work out the entire two hours!! That's just how much time it eats up with drive, workout, shower and drive home. Thanks for the support though.0
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"He works full time and manages the the buses at our church, mows the lawn when it needs it. other then that.... chair, food, and netflix... frustrating."--- What my dd said.0
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Thank you, everyone, for your input. I gleaned some very helpful ideas from you all. I appreciate the support.0
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You may have to let go of something.
When you are on an aeroplane and the hostess comes up and does the emergency procedure drill, she always says this:
If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on FIRST, before the masks of any children.
Identify how much of your life is given to you, and how much is given to others. Your first duty is to look after you. If you cannot do that properly, how can you possibly do it for others properly?
Sometimes to be selfish is the best way to give.0 -
You may have to let go of something.
When you are on an aeroplane and the hostess comes up and does the emergency procedure drill, she always says this:
If an oxygen mask drops from the ceiling, put your own mask on FIRST, before the masks of any children.
Identify how much of your life is given to you, and how much is given to others. Your first duty is to look after you. If you cannot do that properly, how can you possibly do it for others properly?
Sometimes to be selfish is the best way to give.
This is exactly what I wanted to say.
You have to prioritize your health.:flowerforyou:0
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