Tired of losing motivation what am i doing wrong?

Hi there Sweet Gamer I saw your title and read your emotions. I understand where your coming from. I too have days where I think of exercising, or doing it. With your eating you need to start small and then as you do a day by day basis, think of what you want for your future. Set a goal. Again Start Small. Whether it be to be healthy, or able to walk fast pace, or fit into the old clothes, whatever it may be. Hold on to that "moment" or "pic" that you have for yourself and that it your motivation. Post sayings on the fridge, in your car, on the mirror, wherever you can turn and look at and remind yourself :"you can do it!!!" For me I sometimes put on music in my car --loud-- or at home but loud to get me hyped and I feel great afterwards. I hope this helps a bit.

You have to take things one step at a time.

The first step should be logging your food in your food diary faithfully.

Just do that, nothing else. You don't have to worry about "dieting". Just get it all recorded. You will find that the "observer" effect may kick in. (The thing that is being observed is changed by the very act of observing it.) That's a good thing.

Once you've got recording all your meals as a regular habit then you can start to tailor your diet so that you are achieving a caloric deficit every day. Once you are in a deficit the weight will start to come off.

Take it one step at a time.

Sounds like we have the same scale - mine changes depending on where you place it on the bathroom floor - have to put it RIGHT there between those lines in the tile - yeah - that's the spot....seriously though, please don't get discouraged by the numbers. Make sure you don't set your goals too low and set yourself up to fail. Slow and steady girl!

START OFF SLOW. Don't try to do it all at once. Find out what you need to work on first like your eating or exercise. If eating is your biggest problem then get that under control before you stick exercising in your schedule. I might get crap for saying don't exercise right away, but that is what has worked for me so far. I was like you I would jump in full force exercise, eat within my calorie goal and then BAMMMM I quit, it was just to much at once. I realized my biggest issue was overeating so I started tracking all my intake keeping it under my calorie goal. After two months of feeling like my eating was under control I added light exercise. After a couple months of that I will add more exercise. Keep giving it a go, find what will work for you long term, we are all different, but never stop trying!

Stop focusing on motivation because it doesn't last. Change your focus to developing healthy habits and discipline. Remember a nail drives out another nail. Choose one habit you'd like to break and replace it don't just vow to stop it you have to replace it with something. For example, I used to eat out at lunch everyday. Not good for my wallet or waistline. Now I go to the gym every day at lunch at the same time. It took me about 6 weeks to get this routine.

Everyone in my office knows, it's become such a habit now that the other day I couldn't go to the gym on my break but had to leave the office that I still took the elevator to the gym and got off on the wrong floor before I realized what I was doing.

You can do this but you have to stay committed for the long haul, it looks like you've had great success already so just focus more on the habits now!

It sounds like you are using external motivators to keep you going vs internal. For example, focusing on the scale number to keep you going or others telling you you've lost weight, etc. I would shift to something internal, like I want to be healthier for myself, to get the body I've always wanted for me, to be healthy and live a long happy life together with my spouse, etc. If these are your motivators, then the scale number or what others say have no bearing on you. As long as you continue to work at it you'll get there in time.

The scale should only be used occasionally to gauge how you're progressing. Even then, its better to gauge by measurements and how your clothes fit. If you lose a lot of fat around your waist and gains some muscle in your legs and arms then you might weigh the same or a little more, but your clothes will fit better and you're certainly healthier overall regardless of what the scale says. Don't fall trap to the scale, it does not dictate your success, you do.

I've also noticed with using scales that if you place it in a different spot, or if it is warmer or colder than last time you weighed yourself, it can be off a little. Again, its a decent way to gauge your progress, but is not the be all end all way of doing that.

I have lost weight successfully in the past and due to my own complacency and laziness gained it back. However, the key to it working each time was counting my calories, watching what I ate, and ensuring I was around a 20% deficit overall each week. This combined with exercising 3-4 times a week netted me around a 1-2lb weight loss per week. Once I got to a certain weight I would plateau and I'd have to work harder at it. As you get closer to your goal, it will become harder. But if you have internal motivators keeping you going, then you're all set.

As another poster said, motivation should not be the only thing you use, the biggest help of all is habit. Once you do something long enough, it becomes a habit, and you just cruise on auto-pilot and make little adjustments now and then.

"When YOU are ready to lose the weight, you will do it."

"I was still in the place of seeking a quick fix, not putting in the work, wanting to find some magic pill and giving up too easily."

THIS^^^^^^^^^^^:flowerforyou:

Motivation to exercise or eat right is kind of like inspiration to do something creative - paint, make music, write books. It's great when it happens, but you can't rely on it. What you need is structure and dedication to make it a habit.

Schedule your exercise and plan your food diary, and stick to it like it's your job.

This is basically what I was going to say, except that I think before you can schedule exercise and plan a food diary, you have to make a decision. Literally. You have to be ready, and you have to say, "This is going to happen."

You said you're getting married in two years. There was a point where you made a decision with your significant other that a wedding and a marriage were going to take place. It's the same concept. You have to make a decision, just like you would make the decision to accept a new job or get married or adopt a child or whatever. With making a decision comes a commitment to the decision.

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Ryun

Sums up what I was saying earlier!

dont get down and out about it pick up and move forward.....I too have been on the whirlwind of ups and owns but I am determined to do it big this time....I want to feel good about myself again make my husband fall in love with me again and not feel ashamed of the way I look. We can motivate each other if you like. I am gong to add you as a friend and we will work on this thing together OK so lets do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE GREAT WOMEN AND DESERVE THE LIFE WE WANT!!!!!!!!!!!

You sound like you are reading my mind!