Advice from Successful People, please?

Well you have already been successful by coming on here and making an effort to do something about your unhappiness with your weight.
I could share with you that yes-your right logging and counting calories would be very helpful. I have been doing that for over a year. You really learn the calorific amount of each portion. You should also weigh amounts, get a digital scale and weigh absolutely everything. No sneaky nuts the odd biscuit, meat, cheese portion they ALL get weighed. I do this 90% of the time obviously there are times when it's not possible. Don't under eat, reading posts will guide you to various sites that calculate what you need to be eating to lose. Don't try and lose too much too quickly, I really like the way you say you don't have a deadline, that takes the pressure off and you want to be thinking about long term changing your food choices permanently so that the weight doesn't pile back on! There are lots of different groups on here that follow different plans. Have a look through them and try to find a manageable way of gradually reducing your weight whilst still enjoying your eating and not feeling too deprived! You DO NOT need to starve and be miserable to reduce weight, but you DO need to be patient! :drinker: you can do this:happy:

you will probably get a ton of responses telling you to do many different things that will probably be at odds with each other. In my opinion, you have a couple of major things at play here that you will need to figure out how to address for yourself. Please don't take that as dismissive, I definitely don't mean it that way. I just mean that at 18 years old you're most likely still figuring out many things about yourself. What will work for you, what won't, how you best handle different situations, etc.

Your first major issue is, as you said, knowing what you're eating. Logging on a site like this one will definitely help. You might want to weigh your food, and if you do that can be a very accurate way to know precisely what you're taking in. Even if you don't go that far do log everything. If you truly have 100+ pounds to lose, it doesn't take a high level of precision to get your intake where it needs to be. I would recommend starting without weighing food (but still logging, of course), then deciding if weighing food is something that will help you or if it will ultimately burn you out.

Your second major issue is figuring out how much physical activity you are willing to do, or even capable of doing. In my experience, the more you really start to enjoy exercising, the less likely you are to stop. Finding what you like may not be easy at first but when you find it, you will probably want to add more and more. As you lose weight and gain conditioning, you will find that you *can* do more than you used to. I highly recommend strength training but I also know that it can be intimidating and overwhelming at first. Remember one thing: 99% of the time, nobody else cares how much you're lifting or how quickly you're progressing. The simple fact that you are in the weight room at all demonstrates a level of commitment and enthusiasm for your own fitness that should and eventually will make you feel proud.

The last thing is figuring out what eating plan works for you. You can consider the amount of extra fat you have right now as a blessing. It gives you several major benefits (aside from the obvious negatives). Your copious fat stores mean that you body can tolerate a large deficit and fast initial weight loss without sustaining major damage. It can feel pretty good to see the weight fall off at first and can get you over that initial hump of adopting the new regime. Also, you're basically walking around with a 100+ lb weight vest *all the time*. Every bit of walking, jogging, running, hiking, swimming, etc that you do will initially be more effective. Imagine a 185lb fit guy doing all of that stuff while carrying two 50 lb dumbbells. It's not a *direct* comparison but the concept does apply. One other thing to consider: as you progress, you will almost certainly get more and more dedicated. This will cause your general level of confidence and natural "swagger" to skyrocket, especially at your age. Just imagine the effect that will have on all the ladies

I really hope you find a way to get to where you want to be. It's not a fast journey, but there are little benefits all along the way. Your life will improve with every step you make in the right direction.

FWIW, I did something very similar at your age. when I was 19-20 I dropped 85 lbs. One of my biggest regrets in life is that I got lazy and let the weight slowly creep back on. 20-24yrs old was a pretty cool time in my life. I'm a month away from 34 now and trying to get that level of fitness back. I can do it, and so can you. You got this

Darling girl, you have started here and that is the first step.

I agree with the above, that you are at an age where you will be finding yourself and your place in the world, and that is SUCH a good thing, because you have your whole life in front of you, and can make positive changes now, rather than in your 40's when it would be so much harder.

Read the sexy pants thread!

Find your TDEE and eat 500 less than that a week. Log EVERYTHING that you eat. Exercise is 70-80% of the weight loss equation and so concentrate on your food, if you can do a bit of exercise, that's good too.

Re your mother... Honey, her problems are not yours. Find a way to acknowledge your parents, but you don't have to agree with what they say, and/or take on their negativity. From the film Madagascar.... "Smile and wave"

Read books, listen to nutrition and fitness podcasts and find your path in the world. A better body awaits you.

You'll simply have to get over your "mom-daughter" hangups. Talk to yourself - fix this. (You're probably misreading her intentions.)

As for "mild depression." Have you actually been diagnosed by a trained professional as "mildly" depressive?
Even light exercise will release the feel-good hormones (endorphin) in your body, and that will already be a step in the right direction.

Then just continue - and take many, many more steps...

Well I am not the most successful ..but somebody explained to me the basics and they were more expert than me....

Eat a healthy as you can , drink more water and do away with the sugary sodas

get more exercise, even if it's just a walk every day or so

never over estimate how active you truly are.. this is what surprised me... I wasn't active enough

never under estimate how much food / calories you are consuming. Weigh and log everything as it often causes people to sit up and take notice when they are forced to realise how much it really all is

don't expect miracles over night.... go easy on yourself and once you see small changes and clothing seems looser you will get a boost for your self esteem and it should spur you on as it did me

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

^^read this.

QFT
/thread

Log everything (yes, all of it, even that one fun size York peppermint patty a co-worker leaves on your desk because she knows you are having a bad day) for a week and try during that week to get in a 30 minute walk every day. I did that for a week before joining MFP and lost a pound before I logged in here, just from the walking and drinking more water. (It took two days to realize I was not giving my body enough water so I fixed that right away.)

Week two, let MFP set your goals and log it all again. You will be surprised at how much you are allowed to eat at your weight. My punk kid sister eats more than my Total Daily Energy Expenditure and is losing a pound/wk on average. She started at 325 and weighs 275 now. (She started a year ago and had a stop for a cancer scare along the way. It's hard to watch what you are eating and do your exercise when you are scared you are dying. Not cancer, minor surgery to remove benign tumor and she' s back on track.) I don't weigh my food on a scale, that's too much for me. I do often measure it with my kitchen measuring cups, but I've worked in food service in the past and I cook a lot at home, so I'm good with eyeballing portions. Most people aren't. Measure it with measuring cups to keep yourself on track. This week keep up the walking.

Week three, repeat and maybe add a different exercise if you hate the walking. Walking has the advantage of being free and keeping my dog happy. My sis does a water aerobics class. My daughter runs. Once you find the exercise you like, it gets easier. Just keep repeating and adjust your calories down when you hit a plateau.

I am not done, but I am halfway and I have watched the punk kid sister do this for a year. It works. It's not a competition (we have that mom too - she's all about South Beach right now.) and you will feel the benefits even with just 5 pounds lost. (That will be 20 pounds of pressure off your knees with every step you take. You will feel the difference.)

Hang in there and congratulations for starting young and the right way.

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

^^read this.

QFT
/thread

Again, this!

Hello,
I know how you feel. I'm 40 years old and when I was in High School I went through the same issues as you. I have always been big and just thought that is they way it was. Kids made fun of me picking on me and had no self esteem. Even at age 40 I still get picked on, called big one and fat boy. It hurts. And I was always sick, and hurting in my feet, back, knees. Doctors kept saying it was my weight and I was in denial. But its not easy, I thought I was not eating much, and I was not eating much, it was what I was eating. Once I started with this app, it hit me how bad i was eating. Look at the foods you pick and count every single calorie. It takes will power but if you do it works. I'm living proof I was at 440lbs as of March this year and I'm down as of today to 323lbs. I have lost 116lbs and counting. The first few months are hardest if you make it past that it gets easier. I wish you luck and you can do it. If I can do it anyone can.

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted to say feel free to add me. I've been heavy my entire life surrounded by unsupportive people, and I know how hard that can be. Just know that you CAN do it. It's great that you're taking control of your life so young, before you fall into the trap of "this is just how I am".

Okay I lied, I do have one piece of advice - do what works for YOU. You're going to get a thousand conflicting pieces of advice, but it's important to pick through to the things that work for your life. Just eat well, move your body, and the details matter so much less. =]

Good example of a typical, encouraging MFP thread.

Let me add that a big step, and one that is often not easy to make, is to stop blaming your parents for where you are. I'm not saying that they're not somewhat, or even largely, at fault, but if you focus your attention on how others have caused your problems, rather than what you can do about fixing them, then you are putting obstacles in the way of your success. Getting to your goals involves changing those things that you can control (and, honestly, there is plenty that you cannot control) and that is where your energy and efforts should be focused.

To avoid any confusion, let me also say that the Serenity Prayer, whether you are religious or not, or a former addict or not, contains more wisdom than I think many understand:

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And wisdom to know the difference."

Put your efforts and energy on those things identified in the second line up there.

Good luck, OP.

The best that I can do is tell you what I have done because I can't tell you what works for you. I was in the same boat as you. I had always been heavy growing up and every time I tried to do something about it, I failed. I finally got the motivation to do something about it when I bought a scale, weighed myself, and weighed 320!

When I first started logging all of my food, I realized just how much I was overeating. Logging calories was a real eye-opener. I began walking approximately 3-4 days a week and drastically cut back my caloric intake. Then, the pounds started coming off. If I happened to have a bad day and put 1 or 2 back on, it just motivated me more. Don't get discouraged if you have a bad day or week. Everyone has them. Just be positive and keep looking forward. I'm sure anyone on this site would be more than happy to give you positive support. Good Luck!

I don't have any advice that hasn't already been said, but I just wanted to say feel free to add me. I've been heavy my entire life surrounded by unsupportive people, and I know how hard that can be. Just know that you CAN do it. It's great that you're taking control of your life so young, before you fall into the trap of "this is just how I am".

Okay I lied, I do have one piece of advice - do what works for YOU. You're going to get a thousand conflicting pieces of advice, but it's important to pick through to the things that work for your life. Just eat well, move your body, and the details matter so much less. =]

^ This is very true. You have to find what works best for you. The things I listed above worked great for me, but you really do need to sift through all the advice and determine what is best for you. Good luck!