Differing calorie counts

DChristi77
DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
edited November 2023 in Getting Started
So both hubby and I are doing this together and we actually need to lose the same amount of weight. I'm the one who provides all of the meals in the house. My problem is the differing calorie requirements. I'm supposed to have 1200ish and he's closer to 1800. What do you do when your calorie count is so different? Just looking at the numbers it doesn't seem like much but that's an entire meal in our house.

I know I could probably balance it out by working out more but let's be realistic, I won't. We do our nightly walks and eventually I'll become more active but I'm trying to make sure I don't burn myself out early. That's not even taking into account that with his job he tends to get between 8,000-11,000 steps a day according to his pedometer (Withing-Pulse).

Do people usually make separate meals or just give bigger servings to the one who requires a higher calorie count? Telling him to eat a few small snacks during the day does not work. He feels like he's overeating now since he's in "must lose weight now to pass tape!" mode.

I'd appreciate advice. Thanks!

Replies

  • chubbychristianchick
    chubbychristianchick Posts: 217 Member
    This depend some on your partner. For my husband due to high metabolism to maintain his weight he eats about 1,000 more calories a day than me, who is attempting to lose weight! So my husband prefers 1 bigger portions at our meals and 2 a snack or two that I do not partake in and 3 more 'full fat' options.
    Typically if we are having eggs he has 3-4 and I have 2. If we have meat I eat 4oz he eats 8-10oz.
    Snacks he usually has pretzels, trail mix, or nuts. (When I'm home) He'll eat just plain 'Junk' when I'm not policing him.
    Usually if we have butter on something such as bread or toast I use a light version and less and he uses more.

    Talk to your spouse and see what he'd prefer since he's the one that has to put it in his body!
  • kirkor
    kirkor Posts: 2,530 Member
    > He feels like he's overeating now since he's in "must lose weight now to pass tape!" mode.

    What do you mean by this?

    Do you eat all 3 meals together?
    I think bigger portions is definitely the best answer.
    Just have him eat extra eggs in the morning, add a piece of fruit, can of tuna, etc. at lunchtime...more meat & rice in the evening, etc.
  • soyum
    soyum Posts: 49 Member
    1200 and 1800, really? If you don't mind, what is both of your current weight and target weight? Because those are fairly low requirements for adult women/men. 1800 is around 160lbs for a typical man where 1200 would put you under 100lbs for a typical woman, to maintain those weights.

    http://www.caloriecontrol.org/calculator/weight-maintenance-calculator-women
  • JumpinJill
    JumpinJill Posts: 63 Member
    1200 and 1800, really? If you don't mind, what is both of your current weight and target weight? Because those are fairly low requirements for adult women/men. 1800 is around 160lbs for a typical man where 1200 would put you under 100lbs for a typical woman, to maintain those weights.

    http://www.caloriecontrol.org/calculator/weight-maintenance-calculator-women

    Those might sound low, but if you look at the OP profile, it appears she has some health concerns where a more speedier weight loss might be ok for her and she may be under the advice of a doctor as well.

    To the OP: It doesn't take much to make up that difference. I agree with what some others have said. Maybe an extra piece of meat with meal or extra sides. He could also have a snack or 2 outside of his meals, however being a guy I am sure he will just eat more at his meals like most. Wish you luck on your journey!
  • padams2359
    padams2359 Posts: 1,093 Member
    If using MFP to track food, are you both set up the same as far as the amount you want to loose each week? For me, 1.5 lbs per week is 1400, 2 lbs per week is 1200. Also, depending on your body size, height, etc., your resting calorie burn will be different.
  • yadigme
    yadigme Posts: 1
    1
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    > He feels like he's overeating now since he's in "must lose weight now to pass tape!" mode.

    What do you mean by this?

    Do you eat all 3 meals together?
    I think bigger portions is definitely the best answer.
    Just have him eat extra eggs in the morning, add a piece of fruit, can of tuna, etc. at lunchtime...more meat & rice in the evening, etc.


    1) Passing tape is an Army thing. You have to fall within a certain height/weight. Even when he was in his top shape it was an issue.

    2) his typical breakfast is a green smoothie. It's the only thing that he says can get him going and that he has time for. You've gotta make concessions when you go in at 6.

    3) He likes the salad and fruit that I usually pack for his lunch. I'll look into increasing the amount of peanut butter he gets with his fruit and adding more protein.
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    I followed your link and I don't really get the numbers you're getting. I'm 5ft6in and trying to lose about 50 pounds. I'm just going off of what this site has recommended.
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    Thank you!:smile:
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    If using MFP to track food, are you both set up the same as far as the amount you want to loose each week? For me, 1.5 lbs per week is 1400, 2 lbs per week is 1200. Also, depending on your body size, height, etc., your resting calorie burn will be different.

    There is definitely a difference with our activity levels! LOL. I'm a full-time student so when I'm not sitting on my butt in class, I'm sitting on my butt in the library or tutoring center. He's a hospital IT guy so that involves quite a bit of walking.
  • brraanndi
    brraanndi Posts: 325 Member
    I make one meal and I just make sure there is enough to give my twice as much as I would myself. He doesn't eat during the day really if I asked him to snack he'd probably just laugh at me.

    It's find though, I'd feel super odd just cooking for one.
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Measure out food for yourself that fits in your calorie goal and his food that fits in his goals.

    If you are cooking, use the recipe feature and enter out how many servings. Then divide dish into servings and eat however many servings fit.
  • jaecamp1
    jaecamp1 Posts: 120 Member
    My husband and I have very different calorie desires too. He is looking for anything under maintaining and I'm wanting a deficit, so it around a 2000 calorie per day difference. Different portion sizes are a biggie! So are different preparation. Sometime his food will be fried while mine is boiled. Whenever our meals are separate there really isn't an issue because mine will be lower calorie while his is higher. I look at calories over the week too, so I can have more on the weekend when we will ne eating together, and have fewer a day or two when I am alone.
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  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
    Well, that is hard! My S.O. has a highly active job, which has him on his feet non-stop. I'd never expect him to eat like I do. He needs to eat whatever he feels like eating because he has a huge caloric burn, and although he eats quick, his appetite isn't that big.

    I think for couples who are dieting together, I'd just make whatever it is you are making and let your husband chose the portion that's right for him while you eat the amount that's right for you. If he does not want to snack at work, that's fine. But he does need to get his required calories in, especially since he has work activity. Couples can eat differently and that's okay. :)
  • fatfudgery
    fatfudgery Posts: 449 Member
    I must be missing something... Does he get full before reaching 1800 calories? Do you get jealous when you see how much more food he gets to eat? Something else going on? What exactly is the problem?
  • bridgie101
    bridgie101 Posts: 817 Member
    Historically men have always had bigger portions than women. Extra toast and jam at breakfast, Two sandwiches for lunch instead of one, two chops instead of one, 3 potatoes instead of 2.. Either he wants to eat extra at meals or he will have to think of something else, it ultimately being his problem :D
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    I must be missing something... Does he get full before reaching 1800 calories? Do you get jealous when you see how much more food he gets to eat? Something else going on? What exactly is the problem?

    It's not that he necessarily gets full before reaching his recommended calorie count, it's that he sees that we're both trying to lose the same amount of weight and when he sees that I'm done for the day he thinks he should be too. For a smart guy he's really not getting the whole "We are different sizes and should eat differently" thing. Lol
  • DChristi77
    DChristi77 Posts: 18 Member
    Thank you for your suggestions! I'm gonna be pulling a bit from here and there throughout this post. Different portion sizes and trying to slowly beef up his lunch. I mainly was just hoping to not have y'all come back at me with the "cook two different meals" response.

    I think what freaked him out the most is the other day he decided to have one of those Costco "cupcakes" that I keep warning him about and then he found out it was 1500 calories. He's terrified of eating his usual snacks now since he saw just how far he blew by his count for the day. Lol.

    Again, thank you!!!
  • cosmonew
    cosmonew Posts: 513 Member
    I GET it. I am wondering the same things you are. I am retired Army and understand the TAPE test also. My hubby hasn't started his diet yet, he is "away" right now but ... when he does start, yes he will have to eat more than me yet we eat the same things.
    I do guess that he will have some Beer, while I don't get to induldge in that. He may also get to eat another sandwich etc... I look forward to hearing how you handle it as it would be helpful to me and hubby as well.
  • mammamaurer
    mammamaurer Posts: 418 Member
    > He feels like he's overeating now since he's in "must lose weight now to pass tape!" mode.

    What do you mean by this?

    Do you eat all 3 meals together?
    I think bigger portions is definitely the best answer.
    Just have him eat extra eggs in the morning, add a piece of fruit, can of tuna, etc. at lunchtime...more meat & rice in the evening, etc.


    1) Passing tape is an Army thing. You have to fall within a certain height/weight. Even when he was in his top shape it was an issue.

    2) his typical breakfast is a green smoothie. It's the only thing that he says can get him going and that he has time for. You've gotta make concessions when you go in at 6.

    3) He likes the salad and fruit that I usually pack for his lunch. I'll look into increasing the amount of peanut butter he gets with his fruit and adding more protein.

    not sure about army, but with navy as long as you pass your prt and weight you can be "close" on the tape... since everyone tends to "carry themselves" a little differently... i suppose it really just would depend on the particular chain of command for it though

    bacon:flowerforyou:
  • scottkjar
    scottkjar Posts: 346 Member
    When you give him a sandwich, put butter on it -- that's 100 calories. Add a slice of cheese -- another 100 calories. Switch to a bread that has more calories, such as a high-fiber high-protein bread. That can be another 50 calories. Stick a protein bar in his lunch -- that is likely to be a quick 200 calories or more.
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