Compulsive overeating

Majda1234
Majda1234 Posts: 64
in Motivation and Support
I need some motivation, has anyone experienced the same thing?
My compulsive overeating started as soon as i recovered from anorexia. I thought i was just eating clean but i developed anorexia and then ortorexia and once i recovered i was still eating only healthy foods( complex carbs, protein and healthy fats). Then i started developing COE, it started slowly with eating one meal over the top and it was margarine, that i thought was unhealthy for me but i didn't make a big deal out of it, then one night i ate 5000 calories of simple carbs, which was the first time consuming hem after a year. Then i would restict a bit for a few days but binge again on 5000. Then the binges got more severe, lasted for days and much more uhealthy foods.

This compulsive overeating has been going on for three months where i got stuck in binge/ restrict cycle and gained 5 kg-if not more. I managed to go 10 days without overeating last week which is the highest number of days i lasted in those three months. But the longer the days without bingeing are the longer and the worse are the periods with bingeing. At first it started with one meal spirialig out of control (500 over my maintainance- margarine) then it started with one day out of control (5000 cals, unhelathy and now i did four days of constan bingeing (6000 minimum each day). The hardest thing is to pull out of it, i am now on my 3th day without bingeing and i am going to try for two weeks binge free. I am seeing a therapist and i am on anti depressents but i am still really worried about my weight. Lasting for 10 days, i was so happy and don't know how i could've let myself get SO out of control.

I am also wondering, even thugh i know it shouldn't be the problem, how much will i gain from four days of 6000 binges? Could i have at least reved up my metabolism a bit or got something useful out of it? I am on day 3 of healthy meal plan and exercising and it ALWAYS seems impossible that i'll ever binge again but it always happens and it just starts with for example "i'll have one piece of bread" and then i go crazy for days.

Replies

  • lunaphilia
    lunaphilia Posts: 16 Member
    i'm not sure of how much weight you will gain, but in order to overcome such incident again, why not fill up your house with fruits and vegetable, basically clean food instead of simple carbs like bread/cookies/sugary things? At least this make sure you can't binge up to 6000 calories of fruits or vegetables? :)
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    That is not the problem, i buy healthy foods all the time but when i get the urge to overeat i go and spend tons of money on all the junk i can think of. It doesn't really do it for me to keep it out of the house.
  • Jeneba
    Jeneba Posts: 699 Member
    So sad! But you know what? If you haven't already done so, it might be a good idea to seek out a qualified counselor for eating disorders. Quite honestly, this isn't really about what you are eating, it is about what is eating YOU.... These (mis)behaviors are caused many times by underlying traumas and the sooner you confront them, the sooner you will re-gain control, which is what the whole binge/starve dynamic boils down to in the first place: control. I am sending you healing thoughts.... :heart:
  • HongsAngelJ
    HongsAngelJ Posts: 1
    Hi Majda, it really sounds like you've been through a lot. Firstly, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. This kind of thing can make you feel really alone and it's good that you posted on here.
    I have never been anorexic, but I have had experience of excessive over eating. To be honest I still do, it seems the only time I have control of it is when i have tight control on what i eat. Since having that tight control sounds like something you have experience of on an extreme level, maybe we share a problem to different extremes.
    This sounds like a very complicated problem, and going to see a therapist of some sort will hopefully help. I personally have cognitive behavioural therapy, which i find very helpful and actually is supported by evidence unlike some things available.
    If you can get yourself to your GP or whoever prescribed you the anti-depressents, to discuss it this might help. I don't know how long you have been using them but they can have extreme physical effects and sometimes you need to switch around to find the best one for you (this is a long process though becuse they take a while to settle in too- his could also be a problem).
    I wish i had more i could say to help, but take it a step at a time. You have been through a lot and it will take time for your body to recover... don't be too hard on yourself but DO ask for help.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    Thank you so much. Yes, i was thinking about tht too but my therapist helped me to last 10 days without bingeing so i think i am making progress. It's just the i feel i make one stop forward then eith the binges two backwards. I am trying to talk about emotions and feeling that are causing this but i am hiding them under the rug with the bingeing.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    It is just such an awful feeling when i used to control everything that now i have lost it. I feel such hate and disguist towards myself which is what i think is causing my overeating. I am really unsatisfied with my body and i am hoping the therapy will help eventually. I have been going for a month or two and yes i am going to talk about switching meds next week. I just feel like such a failiure for ruining my 10 day progress and then i fall deeper in the bingeing cycle.
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
    There's no easy way out of this, unfortunately. I am also a compulsive over-eater. And, while I've been keeping it at bay for years now with strong self-awareness and self-talk, I occassionally binge. After a binge, I find myself severely restricting my diet for the next 2 days (at like 700-800 calories.) I know that's not healthy. My doctor prescribed me phendimetrazine,an appetite suppressant, which I use very rarely, just when I sense the urge kicking in. I actually had to use it tonight at work. My co-worker brought a gigantic sheet cake in. This doesn't seem like regular cake. It looks moist and fluffy and spongy and fudgy... AAAH! Before I had this under control, I probably would've eaten a quarter of it. Everyone at work back in the day knew that if they needed to get rid of food, I would be the one to do it. I'm still sitting here at work, and I can't stop thinking about the cake, but right now my thoughts are how tasty it probably is. I don't feel like I NEED it. But I won't sample it either, because then all bets are off.

    Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore. I guess just know that you are not alone. Start working on self-talk and self-awareness. And see if your doctor would prescribe you a pill like mine (which is non-addictive.)
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    Because of my anorexic tendencies i doubt anyone would give me apettie surrpresent, especially since i am the low end of normal BMI. I am just more and more depressed because the binges are SO severe and happenig all the time and i feel so disguisting and out of control. Also i am having truble going to the gym because people over there are constantly talking behind my back and how i eat an apple a day and then purge it (which is absolutely nowhere near true and i never ever purged), the gym is the only place that keeps me away from bingeing and yet it became such an unpleasurable place to go at.
  • littlenature
    littlenature Posts: 46
    You don't ruin everything just because you fall down- 10 days of success is still 10 days of success! Pat yourself on your back for that. For me personally, it's this 'all or nothing' mindset that makes me binge in the first place. Like, if I'm doing really well diet-wise and then I eat a little bit of chocolate, I start thinking 'I've ruined everything now!' and then lose control and binge... It's a horrible feeling, both physically and emotionally and I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist who will hopefully keep you on track. In the meantime, try to be kinder to yourself, you're doing well.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    There's no easy way out of this, unfortunately. I am also a compulsive over-eater. And, while I've been keeping it at bay for years now with strong self-awareness and self-talk, I occassionally binge. After a binge, I find myself severely restricting my diet for the next 2 days (at like 700-800 calories.) I know that's not healthy. My doctor prescribed me phendimetrazine,an appetite suppressant, which I use very rarely, just when I sense the urge kicking in. I actually had to use it tonight at work. My co-worker brought a gigantic sheet cake in. This doesn't seem like regular cake. It looks moist and fluffy and spongy and fudgy... AAAH! Before I had this under control, I probably would've eaten a quarter of it. Everyone at work back in the day knew that if they needed to get rid of food, I would be the one to do it. I'm still sitting here at work, and I can't stop thinking about the cake, but right now my thoughts are how tasty it probably is. I don't feel like I NEED it. But I won't sample it either, because then all bets are off.

    Anyway, I don't really know where I'm going with this anymore. I guess just know that you are not alone. Start working on self-talk and self-awareness. And see if your doctor would prescribe you a pill like mine (which is non-addictive.)

    I know the feeling, these three days binge free have been like hell. I keep imagining all the things i was eating for those binge days and i just don't know if i will be able to last two weeks. Although i am having money issues so i am not able to buy any more junk, which is sort of an upside.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    You don't ruin everything just because you fall down- 10 days of success is still 10 days of success! Pat yourself on your back for that. For me personally, it's this 'all or nothing' mindset that makes me binge in the first place. Like, if I'm doing really well diet-wise and then I eat a little bit of chocolate, I start thinking 'I've ruined everything now!' and then lose control and binge... It's a horrible feeling, both physically and emotionally and I'm glad that you're seeing a therapist who will hopefully keep you on track. In the meantime, try to be kinder to yourself, you're doing well.
    Yes, that "all or nothing" is what gets me too. I know i shouldn't have that mentality but it is always present. It's as if i am not perfect i can screw it all up since i am such a failier.
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
    The people at my gym would knock the teeth out of anyone making those kinds of comments about another member. Are you in a position that you could change gyms?

    You're right about the appetite suppressant. Sorry, I didn't even take your original disorder into account.

    I really hope you can get some control over this problem. Do you have any hobbies? I know that seems silly, but sometime you need to have your hands busy to get your mind off of food. That's one of the main problems with EDs: whether or not you're craving or rejecting it, FOOD is at the forefront of the mind 100% of the time.

    I taught myself how to make jewelry and have gotten really good at it. I actually sell it at a couple of stores now. When my husband is at work on my day off, this is a danger zone for binges for me, so I occupy my time making jewelry.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    The people at my gym would knock the teeth out of anyone making those kinds of comments about another member. Are you in a position that you could change gyms?

    You're right about the appetite suppressant. Sorry, I didn't even take your original disorder into account.

    I really hope you can get some control over this problem. Do you have any hobbies? I know that seems silly, but sometime you need to have your hands busy to get your mind off of food. That's one of the main problems with EDs: whether or not you're craving or rejecting it, FOOD is at the forefront of the mind 100% of the time.

    I taught myself how to make jewelry and have gotten really good at it. I actually sell it at a couple of stores now. When my husband is at work on my day off, this is a danger zone for binges for me, so I occupy my time making jewelry.
    Thank you so much for the support. I can't change the gym because that is my college gym and the only one i can go for free. I usually keep super busy since i work at night and go to college by day. But during the summer break is when the binge cyrcle started happening and i had to take the previous week off since i was sick so i was bingeing during the time off.Usually it is so much easier not to binge when i am busy but i am still afraid of the weekends sice i have all day off and next week i am off work so i'll be at home all day again for the entire week and when i am home alone i tend to overeat all throught the day. I just have to make it these two weeks somehow, people say after 2 weeks cravings for simple carbs diminish a bit :/
  • littlenature
    littlenature Posts: 46
    I agree with Rebekah! Distraction is so helpful, which you have found at the gym. Changing gyms or exercising in some other capacity is an idea. Long term, a hobby or learning some type of craft is a good plan. Short-term, when I feel like binging, I paint my nails- the combination of the fumes and the ritual of painting plus having to wait until my nails are completely dry before I can touch anything works for me. It gives you time to talk yourself down from the ledge. Brushing my teeth also works- again, it's a ritual thing, plus food doesn't taste so good when it's mingled with the mintiness of the toothpaste!
  • Modern_athena
    Modern_athena Posts: 81 Member
    It's like I'm reading my own case. I too was anorexic for about a year, lost more than 30 kg but then I cheated one night and it changed everything. I started binge eating drastically. I'd eat 5000 calories in one sitting, I'd feel really sick afterwards but I never learn. I gained all the weight back if not more, as expected. I notice that I restrict my caloric intake for days, lose a couple of kilos then binge eat and gain them all back almost instantly. Just yesterday I screwed everything up when I was at the Supermarket; I spent a lot of money on junk food.

    I do advise you seek help before it's too late, but I'd have to take my own advice first. Do you have a history of anxiety disorder? That's my case, I had severe anxiety and when I diet, I tend to go to extremes, same applies to when I eat. Being a psychology student (oh the irony!), I'm very well educated about the subject and I'm currently reading 2 books; one of which is very simple and in layman's terms. I'm also reading about the causes and clinical approach to binge eating but that book is somewhat technical.

    I think we both need to change our approach to food. Cognitive behavioral therapy tends to stress that but it needs time. Of course, I realize it's easier said than done.

    Feel free to add me if you have questions, I think we could help each other considering our common experience.
  • Genette38
    Genette38 Posts: 51 Member
    My counsellor is CBT based and she gets me to write about why I want to binge and then rationalise that thought until I don't want to binge anymore. So it goes something like this;

    I get the urge to binge so I get my diary and write about how I'm feeling.

    I'm bored and I feel angry that all my friends are busy so I have no-one to go out with.

    Then I rationalise it:

    Binging might stop me being bored for about 10 minutes but after that I'll just feel worse than I do now.
    Binging won't help my long term goals or make me feel good about myself.
    It's not useful to be angry at my friends for having other plans. They didn't know I would be bored today and it's not their job to drop everything when I call.
    If I'm bored I can go for a walk, weed the garden, insert x for whatever you like to do or need to do around the house.

    I usually write about a side of A5 of these kind of thoughts.

    Then read it back to yourself several times.

    Hopefully by now the feeling of binging will have diminished somewhat. You may need to do this several times for each negative thought but it's worth the effort and over time you need to do it less.

    It also helps to eat all of your meals in one place where there are no distractions. Do not eat on the sofa or somewhere you regularly binge.

    I hope that helps.

    Siousix
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
    Also look into ways to control your thoughts. The fact that you're dreading your weekends because you KNOW you're going to binge is what's causing you to binge. It's self-fulfilling prophecy. You're shifting the power away from yourself, which makes you feel like it's out of your control. But it IS in your control. As you approach the next weekend, think to yourself, "I will be in control. I control the food. The food doesn't control me."
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    It's like I'm reading my own case. I too was anorexic for about a year, lost more than 30 kg but then I cheated one night and it changed everything. I started binge eating drastically. I'd eat 5000 calories in one sitting, I'd feel really sick afterwards but I never learn. I gained all the weight back if not more, as expected. I notice that I restrict my caloric intake for days, lose a couple of kilos then binge eat and gain them all back almost instantly. Just yesterday I screwed everything up when I was at the Supermarket; I spent a lot of money on junk food.

    I do advise you seek help before it's too late, but I'd have to take my own advice first. Do you have a history of anxiety disorder? That's my case, I had severe anxiety and when I diet, I tend to go to extremes, same applies to when I eat. Being a psychology student (oh the irony!), I'm very well educated about the subject and I'm currently reading 2 books; one of which is very simple and in layman's terms. I'm also reading about the causes and clinical approach to binge eating but that book is somewhat technical.

    I think we both need to change our approach to food. Cognitive behavioral therapy tends to stress that but it needs time. Of course, I realize it's easier said than done.

    Feel free to add me if you have questions, I think we could help each other considering our common experience.
    I am also a psychology student :D Yes, i do that too and i seem to reach my goal weight then binge,binge and binge. Ugh i am trying to last at least these two weeks binge free. Perhaps it'll be easier after that.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    My counsellor is CBT based and she gets me to write about why I want to binge and then rationalise that thought until I don't want to binge anymore. So it goes something like this;

    I get the urge to binge so I get my diary and write about how I'm feeling.

    I'm bored and I feel angry that all my friends are busy so I have no-one to go out with.

    Then I rationalise it:

    Binging might stop me being bored for about 10 minutes but after that I'll just feel worse than I do now.
    Binging won't help my long term goals or make me feel good about myself.
    It's not useful to be angry at my friends for having other plans. They didn't know I would be bored today and it's not their job to drop everything when I call.
    If I'm bored I can go for a walk, weed the garden, insert x for whatever you like to do or need to do around the house.

    I usually write about a side of A5 of these kind of thoughts.

    Then read it back to yourself several times.

    Hopefully by now the feeling of binging will have diminished somewhat. You may need to do this several times for each negative thought but it's worth the effort and over time you need to do it less.

    It also helps to eat all of your meals in one place where there are no distractions. Do not eat on the sofa or somewhere you regularly binge.

    I hope that helps.

    Siousix

    But i don't reckognize weather it is a binge or not before it is too late. I think i am about to have a normal breakfast and the next thing you know i am buying junk food all over the town thinking it is not a binge, just me enjoying sweets.
  • Modern_athena
    Modern_athena Posts: 81 Member
    It's like I'm reading my own case. I too was anorexic for about a year, lost more than 30 kg but then I cheated one night and it changed everything. I started binge eating drastically. I'd eat 5000 calories in one sitting, I'd feel really sick afterwards but I never learn. I gained all the weight back if not more, as expected. I notice that I restrict my caloric intake for days, lose a couple of kilos then binge eat and gain them all back almost instantly. Just yesterday I screwed everything up when I was at the Supermarket; I spent a lot of money on junk food.

    I do advise you seek help before it's too late, but I'd have to take my own advice first. Do you have a history of anxiety disorder? That's my case, I had severe anxiety and when I diet, I tend to go to extremes, same applies to when I eat. Being a psychology student (oh the irony!), I'm very well educated about the subject and I'm currently reading 2 books; one of which is very simple and in layman's terms. I'm also reading about the causes and clinical approach to binge eating but that book is somewhat technical.

    I think we both need to change our approach to food. Cognitive behavioral therapy tends to stress that but it needs time. Of course, I realize it's easier said than done.

    Feel free to add me if you have questions, I think we could help each other considering our common experience.
    I am also a psychology student :D Yes, i do that too and i seem to reach my goal weight then binge,binge and binge. Ugh i am trying to last at least these two weeks binge free. Perhaps it'll be easier after that.

    What are the odds! It depends, I don't like setting limits. I tried that once, I promised myself that I wouldn't binge for a month, I accomplished that but after that I had an excuse to binge; as in my binge was well earned :P I'm full of rationalizations :/ I'm currently trying to change how I think about food. Deprivation diets certainly didn't work for me.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    It's like I'm reading my own case. I too was anorexic for about a year, lost more than 30 kg but then I cheated one night and it changed everything. I started binge eating drastically. I'd eat 5000 calories in one sitting, I'd feel really sick afterwards but I never learn. I gained all the weight back if not more, as expected. I notice that I restrict my caloric intake for days, lose a couple of kilos then binge eat and gain them all back almost instantly. Just yesterday I screwed everything up when I was at the Supermarket; I spent a lot of money on junk food.

    I do advise you seek help before it's too late, but I'd have to take my own advice first. Do you have a history of anxiety disorder? That's my case, I had severe anxiety and when I diet, I tend to go to extremes, same applies to when I eat. Being a psychology student (oh the irony!), I'm very well educated about the subject and I'm currently reading 2 books; one of which is very simple and in layman's terms. I'm also reading about the causes and clinical approach to binge eating but that book is somewhat technical.

    I think we both need to change our approach to food. Cognitive behavioral therapy tends to stress that but it needs time. Of course, I realize it's easier said than done.

    Feel free to add me if you have questions, I think we could help each other considering our common experience.
    I am also a psychology student :D Yes, i do that too and i seem to reach my goal weight then binge,binge and binge. Ugh i am trying to last at least these two weeks binge free. Perhaps it'll be easier after that.

    What are the odds! It depends, I don't like setting limits. I tried that once, I promised myself that I wouldn't binge for a month, I accomplished that but after that I had an excuse to binge; as in my binge was well earned :P I'm full of rationalizations :/ I'm currently trying to change how I think about food. Deprivation diets certainly didn't work for me.
    I know, i said "10 days binge free" so i binged on 11th and it is awful. I am so duscouraged and disguisted that i binged SO much. I think every time how i'll limit my next binge or binge on something healthy but i always end up piling more and more empty calories.
  • Genette38
    Genette38 Posts: 51 Member

    But i don't reckognize weather it is a binge or not before it is too late. I think i am about to have a normal breakfast and the next thing you know i am buying junk food all over the town thinking it is not a binge, just me enjoying sweets.

    Self awareness is probably your first step then and I would say you need to stop at the point where your going to buy sweets/treats and ask yourself why. Use the writing tool at that point (even if you feel weird writing in the street, find a bench). I get it, I'm like you too. I wear a little trail in the carpet between the lounge and the kitchen going back for 'just one more' but the method does help if you try. You just need to give it a chance.
  • Majda1234
    Majda1234 Posts: 64
    I will give it a try, thank you. It is good to have a back up plan in case i do get a "binge" attack in those two weeks. Although when i made my first "week" goal i managed a week without it and when i made 10 days i managed 10 days but it is the afterwards that gets me.

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