Gift to myself

The beginning
Unlike a lot of other people I never struggled with my weight. At a length of 1.65 m I've always been around 58 kg in my adult years and a size 36/38/S in clothing. Despite my lack of exercise and general fitness I liked my size and felt good inside my own skin.

With my first pregnancy I gained a whopping 30 kg's officially landing me on my highest weight ever. I was fortunate that I didn't get stretch marks and the Caesarian was very well performed. Weight wise my saving grace, so to speak, was probably that I breastfed my baby girl just a few days shy of a full year. By the end of that year I even got a few kilograms below my regular weight and all was good.

Then the good life happened. The sleepless nights slowly became a thing of the past and nice wines accompanied by tasty cheeses and the like became a regular part of our life. In the past we of course also enjoyed this, but then that was dinner instead of the evening snack. And still I didn't exercise. Slowly the weight crept up and I had to buy trousers a size bigger than usual. Half a year later I had to buy another size bigger. And then I got pregnant again. 
I was truly overjoyed: not only would my family be complete in a mere nine months, but this round of breastfeeding would restore my physique to its previous splendor. Or so I thought and hoped.  

This pregnancy wasn't the cakewalk the previous one had been. Not only did I start out heavier, I also struggled with pelvic pain from a relatively early stage. Again I gained a tremendous amount of weight topping at 88 kg I believe. Not sure about that because I didn't own a scale. Once born my baby boy was insatiable and very unhappy. Seven months I breastfed him during the day and three to four times at night as well. By then I was so exhausted by the interrupted nights in combination with an active toddler and 32 hour per week job that I just couldn't function properly anymore. The doctor advised to stop breastfeeding and put my son on powdered milk instead. By then I was desperate for a good night’s sleep and would have given anything for a solution.
Despite my wounded pride my boy appeared to like the powdered stuff better then mommies finest and finally became a happy camper. Undisturbed nights returned, but I was still overweight. 

In July 2012, ten months after giving birth I was still wearing clothes 3 sizes bigger then my regular. I felt flabby, unattractive and like a stranger in my own skin: things HAD to change. It was time to focus my energy less on hobbies creating things with my hands. Now I would become my own hobby, I aspired to transform my flabby shapeless physique in a fit and attractive body.

Game plan
Of course I realized that such a change wouldn't happen overnight. Inspired by Shawn from 344pounds.com I decided to start with making daily exercise a part of my life. I bought a second hand elliptical and duly got moving every time in the AM. Working my way up from 10 minutes on the lowest setting to half an hour on setting 4 out of 8. This took me a month. By then I felt that daily exercise was indeed there to stay, it was time for the next step: watching my food intake.

Now, counting calories is pretty straight forward, but I still remember my mother using a little book and pencil to record everything by hand. That was not a route I wanted to take. While looking for a way to do this with the least of hassle I stumbled on myfitnesspal.com: eureka! Set up my account with a goal weight loss of about 0,5 kg per week and started reading the abundance of information available. Learned about BMR, TDEE, macro’s and adjusted my settings accordingly.

I soon learned that sticking with the elliptical wouldn’t get me my desired body, something more was needed. My fitness levels were however so dramatic that I needed to ease myself into it. I started Jillian Michaels 30 Day Shred. At this point I was still exercising every day without rest days because I feared that breaking up the routine would lead to falling back to my old ways. Unfortunately around day 8 of Level 1 of the Shred this led to me injuring both knees. Couldn’t walk, couldn’t climb stairs. Hell even chasing after my toddler and cheeky baby was very painful.

Luckily I recovered soon enough and learned that rest is just as important as exercise. That learned I started and completed HASfit.com’s 30 Day Challenge. After that I did the 30 Day Shred again. This time not continuously, but in blocks of 2 days and 2 days of other exercise and 1 rest day added in per week.

Picking up the pace ehhh dumbbell
When nearing my goal weight I mostly fit in my goal wardrobe again, however I also wanted to look good naked. Of course this means different things for different people. For me it encompasses a lack of flab, some visible muscles and being able to use them as well. 

Everything I’ve read suggested that lifting and lifting heavy is the way to go for this. Because I still preferred working out at home I started ChaLean Extreme as a fun guided introduction into lifting.
After that I started more serious lifting with All Pro's Simple Beginners Routine in March 2013. I'm currently still doing this and am now halfway through cycle 6. I am working towards starting a bulk in 3 weeks.

The pictures
Below - finally! - the pictures from where I was when I started and where I am now. Won't call it "after", because I'm still nowhere near where I want to be!

August 2012, 71 kg and very unhappy with myself



September 2013, 55 kg and feeling good!











Thank you for reading :flowerforyou: