Looking for energy!

undercover
undercover Posts: 138 Member
edited September 22 in Introduce Yourself
Hi there, I'm kind of new at this. I first discovered the site through the application on my Android phone, and thougth I would check it out. I found the Sportypal app on my phone and one night when I missed the bus from my friend's house, I decided to walk home. I was curious to find out how far it was and got the Sportypal app running, and when I got home I felt great and started to log my food for that day on MFP, and after that I was kind of hooked. This was August 22nd. I was going to the US (I live in Sweden) for business 11 days in September, and decided to try to lose some weight before that, just because I knew we would get plenty of food but no chance to exercise whilst there. I lost 7 pounds just by counting calories and walking at night. In the US I tried to watch what I ate and my boss actually told me that I probably think that I eat more than I do. When I was back from Chicago I jumped on my scale and was so happy to find that I only gained 2 pounds (I blame it on the wonderful restaurants my colleagues treated us to!).

My weight has been pretty much set at about 185-190 lbs since... I don't know, 3 years? The weight rarely changes but I have to buy a bigger size in clothes, so I am looking for some inches to come off, not only weight, to be able to fit into my huge collection of nice tops and shirts again.

After I came back from the US I started to really try to take my exercise time more seriously = really stick to it at least 5 times/week.. My number one reason for wanting to get in shape is actually to get more energy. I have a stressful job in a manager position with huge responsibilities, and usually I am dead when I walk through the door at night. I crash on my couch and watch TV until bed time. I can go for days without eating or drinking much, and then binge out really late at night. I really want to stop doing that and be careful with what I put in my mouth and take the time to exercise. I've been doing these walks around my neighbourhood, and it feels really good. I still have to talk my self into going out, but once I am out I feel like I don't want to go home, I just want to walk and walk and listen to my music and see the calories adding up on my Sportypal ;)

I've been overweight my whole life, I think. I was a chubby child and even though I played a lot of sports, it was never enough to keep the weight off. I've always enjoyed being inside, playing by myself, doing a lot of reading, and that does your brain good but it doesn't really burn a lot of calories! In 4th grade one of my "dear" class mates gave me the nick name "Chubbie" and that kind of stuck to me all through school, Things like that can do two things to you - you either get mad and decide to "show them all by getting thin" - or you are like me, you laugh on the outside but die a bit on the inside and stays home even more by yourself, and find your comfort in food. Food, soda and candy has always been my comfort - to celebrate a good day or pick me up after a bad one.

I played a lot of sports in high school as well, but after that I dropped all kind of exercise except for skiing one week every winter. I've always been too ashamed to go to a gym, I didn't think I could stand to be around all those "perfect" bodies. I've been thinking about going about 1000 times - but I always ended up thinking that I would need to be in better shape before I went, so I would think about riding my bike every day for 1 hour to do some cardio, and then maybe after 2 months I would be able to go to the gym. Operative word - THINK. Oh, I've been thinking about my weight every day since I was 10, but I've never done something about it for real. I've never even talked about it with anyone. My friends has been complaining about their weights over and over again - but I've never joined in on any of those conversations, so no-one ever talks about my weight. Sometimes I wish they would- why couldn't just one person say "let's do something together about our bodies, let's go play some badminton" or whatever? To confront me with what I am doing to myself! I definately don't mean to put the blame on someone else but myself, but I just wish that someone would have had the courage to tell it to my face, to shake me up! But no-one ever did, and I never said anything.

Last year, well from about April 2009 to early August 2010, I was really depressed. I felt so bad and most of the time I really didn't want to live. I know that most of these thoughts came from me being disappointed in myself about being too lazy to get a grip on my life, to stop thinking about it and just start living! I'm 36 years old and it is time that I start doing the adult thing and really care about myself!

I'm not telling anyone about me trying to diet, because 1) it's not a diet, it's a change of lifestyle that I want to keep for the rest of my life and 2) I don't feel ready yet. Of course I am confident that I can do this, but I really want to take it slow and do it well, rather than burn out too quickly and lose interest. Don't want to have people asking me about it yet. That is why I am glad there is a site where I can read about other people's struggle, efforts, success and support. It's wonderful!

Sorry for me rambling on, but I really feel like this site could help me improve myself and improve the quality of my life. Thank you MFP for an awesome site and thank YOU for reading. :flowerforyou:

Replies

  • gogospice
    gogospice Posts: 185 Member
    Good Job! You came to the right place! You're going to find more support from all of the wonderful people here than you could ever imagine! Good luck with your goals and the fantastic new journey you are about to take!
  • Undercover,

    I applaud the fact you came to the realization that you control your life. Let me suggest a perspective change however for some of your activities. Right now you come through the door exhausted and stressed out from work. You then sit down and binge eat. I understand this as well as this was me a year ago. Your perspective is what is going to make this a long term change. When you get home completely stressed out, don't sit down go change into comfortable clothing and go for a walk. Use this as "you" time to think over your day and let the stress fall away. Eventually you can try jogging and take up running but start with a walk. Don't think of the walk as "required" exercise because if you are ever too exhausted then you have guilt on top of that. Tell yourself throughout the day you are really looking forward to your walk to be outside. For me, I leave all technology behind when walking/running. This disconnects me from the problems and stressors in my life (I don't even bring an MP3 player running). Not everyone is ready for that though.

    It sounds like you set a goal to live healthy. Give yourself a single cheat meal during the week so you don't go crazy from lack of sugar intake, this also reduces the chance of late night binges since you have an outlet to look forward too. Run screaming from any fad diets and instead start bringing healthy food options. Cook at home, avoid recipes with a lot of sugar. Eat veggies, lean meat, eggs, fruit. Dairy isn't too bad though it can have a lot of sugar depending on what it is. The trick is to take time each day and enjoy some food. Food is not only nourishment but it can be quality time for yourself to temporarily escape the office and it's problems. Kudo's for doing it right!

    We all build up a lifetime of bad habits for one reason or another, but simply reminding yourself a few times every day that you need to take care of you helps build sustainable good habits.

    Good luck and remember, it's not a race and everyone changes in their own way. Stick with what works for you.

    Eric
  • undercover
    undercover Posts: 138 Member
    Thank you both for your support and tips!

    Eric, wonderful tips. I do actually look forward to my walk at night, I like to go out and get the fresh air and just think my day through, think about what I have to do tomorrow at work etc. I have a huge project right now, involving 3000 guests and 200 staff members, so I have a lot on my mind and my walk time is my reflecting time. I love it. When I first started walking I could hardly run at all, I ran about 10 seconds once during the hour. Now I can actually run quite a lot, doing intervals of about a 60 seconds whenever I feel that I can. Never pictured myself being able to run at all.

    The best part of all - I'm always very hard on myself, when it comes to work etc. Even if someone tells me I did a good job I always think to myself "yes, but it could have been better, if I'd only had done bla, bla, bla". With the exercise - never. I feel happy that I got out there at all and I am happy with what I did. Some days are better than others (did 9.17 K today!) but I never feel bad about not being able to do the same amount of running as the day before, or not being able to keep up the same speed as a previous day. I am doing it. That feels awesome!
  • Beebee78
    Beebee78 Posts: 703
    Welcome to MFP. You will get so much support and encouragement here xxx
  • undercover
    undercover Posts: 138 Member
    Thank you Beebee!
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