Men with Depression

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Nlongenecker
Nlongenecker Posts: 765
in Motivation and Support
I know this doesn't really fit this website or thread, but I need some advice & don't know where else to go. I am almost positive my husband is and has been suffering from depression for a couple of years. For a long time I didn't know what was wrong with him, he was just "different" than normal. But in the last week things have gotten pretty bad and last night he told me that he feels the best when he's alone and that nothing matters anymore that that hurts because he knows he's hurting me and that he feels trapped by life and he hasn't felt happy for a couple of years even though he puts on a good act. I love him so much and want to help, but I don't think he's ready to admit that it's depression or that he needs help. I mentioned last night that depression was a possibility and that maybe "unloading" his feelings on a neutral party in confidence may be beneficial, but he didn't say much. If you are a man that has been through this or a wife with a husband with depression and you have some advice for me I would really appreciate it.

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  • Ready4Changes
    Ready4Changes Posts: 89
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    Hang in there. I sent you a personal message :)
  • alan79
    alan79 Posts: 22 Member
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    Hi

    I dont have depression and havent suffered from it, but did live with a girlfiend for 10 years that did. Seeking counseling for both of us in seperate sessions helped. Sounds like he has identified that there is an issue so seeking help is the best thing really. Unfortunately I left it a bit late and our relationship suffered as a a result. Just my 2 pence.

    cheers

    Al
  • nisijam5
    nisijam5 Posts: 10,390 Member
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    Just make an MD appointment for him. When you make the appointment, also state that you would like a mental health screening done d/t suspicion of depression

    Good luck, your in a tough situation...He needs you to be strong for him right now...
  • beth2411
    beth2411 Posts: 54 Member
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    hi, My husband has been on anti-depressants for over a year now, same feelings as your husband he went to the doctors because he knew enough was enough. He is now back to his mormal self ( if there is such thing as normal). He went to the doctorsfor a check just last week and the doctor was that pleased he said my husband is now ready to come off them and has reduced his dose and will keep reducing them till not taking them at all. He is extatic about this and i am so proud of him for going to the doctors and admitting he had depresssion and even prouder that he has overcome this awful mental illness. I would try and gently persuade your husband to go as it is for the best. But i am sure within time medication and hard work your husband willbe back to himself. Good luck to you both. :flowerforyou:
  • ka_42
    ka_42 Posts: 720 Member
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    My boyfriend has had problems with depression for years.. almost as long as he can remember. He admits it but has never been to a doctor. He hasn't ever had health insurance and the thought of therapy seems odd to him. I've suggested it countless times. He goes through spouts where he's normal for a while but about once a month he's really sad. He says he feels like somethings missing.. he's bored with life. I've thought maybe it's not depression maybe it's ADD. He doesn't seem to stay calm. Little things irritate him and make him sad and sometimes angry. I wish you the best of luck with getting your husband treatment. I've been trying for a while with no luck so I guess I'm here to say be patient... it might take some time and convening. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

    I also want to recommend to you The feeling good handbook by Dr Burns. I've read bits and pieces of this book and it's really helped me. It's a huge book... and it'll probably take me years to get through it all. I just wish my boyfriend had a desire to read it.
  • Nlongenecker
    Nlongenecker Posts: 765
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    My mom is bipolar and depression is common in my family, so I am used to spotting it and dealing with it in other people, but never my spouse. And I think because he's a man some of the symptoms are different and he views having depression as a weakness, so convincing him to get help may be a challenge. So although I have some experience with depression in others, this is kind of uncharted waters.

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