Motivation not to binge ??

sounds like an issue to take up with some type of professional help MD. Good luck with your journey!

Sweetie most people rely on will power. Well my will power is really lousy. However, I am one stubborn person and when I don't want to do something I won't. 28 years ago I smoked 2 1/2 packs of cigarettes a day and if you check into it quitting smoking is actually supposed to be harder than quitting heroin. Well I realized smoking was my master. That realization kicked in what I call my "won't power" - damned if I will let anything be my master - my husband sure isn't - I am. I think you may be a lot like me - stubborn. You won't let anyone tell you what to do. Well honey your eating disorder is acting as your master right now. Are you seriously willing to let it be your master? Look deep inside your little heart and mind - pull up every bit of won't power you have - I know it's there. There will be times you may have to say ok I won't purge for 3 minutes but then I can. At the end of the 3 minutes you see you can do it so you say it again - at the end of 3 minutes I can purge - again you say it. Eventually you're saying 5 minutes, an hour, tomorrow etc. til you aren't doing it anymore. That's how I quit smoking - 28 YEARS AGO! I know you have the strength and the won't power. Just go get it. I have faith in you. I know you can do it too.