wake up call horror stories and vent

beachcalsix
beachcalsix Posts: 23 Member
edited November 2023 in Getting Started
Ok, so I just feel like venting a little bit today. I started my diet on September 8th after a party and seeing the horrible pictures that came out of it.
Well since then I've lost about 7 lbs (yay) I wish I'd lost 10 but 7 works for me and I'm so proud and happy.
Well...my father came up to me the other day and was like "when are you gonna start your diet and lose the baby weight anyways? Didn't you start already?"
I just smiled and pretended it was nothing and said "actually I lost 7 lbs" He kind of grinned back and was like "Oh....that's...good really...good job"
UGH
I felt like a truck fell on top of me and crushed me. Feeling down and felt like sharing a horror story with you all. I have a bunch from high school too, anyone else have these moments? What do you do to keep the motivation going?
~the girl feeling down.
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Replies

  • Jericha1992
    Jericha1992 Posts: 80 Member
    You'll start to feel a difference in your body long before anyone else notices. Don't let it get you down--focus on the victories!

    I'm down 13 pounds so far, but not enough for anyone but me to notice. My grandmother knew I was going to try to lose weight, but when she asked how that was going for me, she seemed surprised when I'd told her I lost 9 pounds (at the time). Obviously, it doesn't show yet. But I know the difference when I have more energy in the morning, or when I don't crave starchy carbs. I see my improvement in running time. Nobody else has to. I do.

    And when everyone else notices, I'm sure it will be great. But until then, they don't have to. I do.
  • srogers89
    srogers89 Posts: 190 Member
    I had lunch with a friend today and when I told her how much I had lost she seemed genuinly surprised but happy for me. It won't always show to those around you straight away (unless you are walking around naked ;) ). You knwo what they say 4 weeks for you to notice the change, 8 weeks for those closest to you (partner, best friends) and 12 weeks for everyone else!

    Having said that, as long as YOU notice it that should be motivation enough to know what you are doing is working and you should keep at it.

    Good work so far, keep it up!
  • Tonnenator
    Tonnenator Posts: 71 Member
    When I lose weight I always ask my husband if he can tell and he says I can't tell because I see you every day. You look the same. That always discourages me...
  • Cyclingbonnie
    Cyclingbonnie Posts: 413 Member
    I just reached 50 pounds, and people have begun to notice ... finally. I have to be honest though ... I don't seem to see a difference. I'm sure it is my mind's eye. It may be that I still have 50 more to go. I'm down 10 sizes, I'm really happy about it, and I'm very proud of myself. I can do simple things that I couldn't before ... like cross my legs. I do believe it is worth it, and I will continue ... maybe I'll see the difference soon.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    When I lose weight I always ask my husband if he can tell and he says I can't tell because I see you every day. You look the same. That always discourages me...

    totally true

    thats why you should take monthly progress pictures for comparrison!
  • JayMri
    JayMri Posts: 241 Member
    I'd highly recommend taking pictures, just for yourself. Often people don't pay enough attention to notice. And if they see you everyday they may not notice at all. I recently took updated pictures (at around 25 lbs lost) and was shocked to see the difference! And it really wasn't till I started wearing smaller size clothes that any one was able to notice!
  • qtgonewild
    qtgonewild Posts: 1,930 Member
    im much bigger to start with, im sure. it took 30 pounds for me to finally see it so im sure it will take 60 for anyone else to. some people have noticed but i cant wait until its obvious enough that everyone notices.
  • kckBxer396
    kckBxer396 Posts: 460 Member
    Don't let it get you down. I've lost 20, can fit into smaller sizes,and feel better. I don't really see it. My friends and family haven't noticed it. The only person that notices is my s.o.,but I point it out to him about every 8 pounds. haha As long as you keep going,and do this for you, they will notice. It's a little early still. =) Just keep going!


    Edit: Also, I completely agree with the progress pics. I didn't take "before" but wish I would have. I took them as soon as possible,and I take them every couple of months. They help me to see where I'm losing and where my problem areas are. =)
  • lizbknown
    lizbknown Posts: 5
    Definitely know the feeling. And it can put you in such a rut. I actually had a family member, who knew I was watching my weight, tell my sister in law, Wow you look good, you've lost a lot of weight!." Which was nice. But then she added that my sister in law was not like me or herself, in the fat club. It might seem dumb, but she doesn't do anything to lose, doesn't care even, but seeing that I was trying, and knowing I lost weight, made the comment, Im sure to make me feel bad. I was like whatever, but it did bother me. :( The good thing is that I'm gonna keep on truckin, lose for myself, eventually I'll see it, and so will others. Don't worry, we'll be all right in the long run. :)
  • happylife2014
    happylife2014 Posts: 128 Member
    You'll start to feel a difference in your body long before anyone else notices. Don't let it get you down--focus on the victories!

    I'm down 13 pounds so far, but not enough for anyone but me to notice. My grandmother knew I was going to try to lose weight, but when she asked how that was going for me, she seemed surprised when I'd told her I lost 9 pounds (at the time). Obviously, it doesn't show yet. But I know the difference when I have more energy in the morning, or when I don't crave starchy carbs. I see my improvement in running time. Nobody else has to. I do.

    And when everyone else notices, I'm sure it will be great. But until then, they don't have to. I do.

    Very well stated and so very true!! We will always notice before anyone else, that's a good thing! :))
  • ELMunque
    ELMunque Posts: 136 Member
    I lost about 30lbs last year before people started to notice. Prior to that, I have big boobs naturally (they don't go away when I lose weight) but when anyone commented they just asked if my boobs got bigger. I hated that. But I figured they look bigger because my stomach went down, so it was a backwards compliment. And then after about 30lbs, I was standing outside talking to a coworker and one of the guys that works here that I rarely talked to came up and said, "you just keep getting smaller and smaller". That was all I needed, that one compliment from some random person. So don't get discouraged just yet, it'll happen, and when it does your going to feel amazing. Work on your own confidence for now because that's what matters, you can do this. Congrats on your 7lbs.
  • wendyg311
    wendyg311 Posts: 239 Member
    No, no,no....don't get down.......you have made progress and it has to start somewhere. I am so impatient to see results and, of course, for everyone else to see it too. I started on 9/23 and have lost 5 lbs so far. I was whining to my husband about it, my wonderful husband, and he reminded me that that type of thinking is what sends me running for a snack. He is right!!

    I have gained this weight steadily over the past 2 years, it's not going to come off over night. I have to remind myself of that soooo often.

    You're doing it.....it's OK
  • pittjenn
    pittjenn Posts: 247 Member
    I'm really tall, so it takes about 15-20 lbs lost before I can even see a difference in jeans size. I've been working out steadily for 2 months now. *I* see a big difference, the BF notices only because I'm constantly going "LOOK, I have biceps now!", but no one else has noticed yet (I'm down 10 lbs in those 2 months). Sigh.

    What works for me? Taking measurements as well as logging my weight. It makes me insanely happy when I see I might have only lost 1/2 a lb this week, but I also took an inch off my hips and thighs. There are multiple ways to track progress - how you look, how you feel, what habits you are changing - don't limit yourself to just one method :)
  • Livin4me1969
    Livin4me1969 Posts: 745 Member
    I have lost a total of 55 pounds and everyone is just now saying something about it. It does take time and while I do not see it I can tell by my clothes that it is going on. It is kind of depressing when no one notices but just remember the only thing that matters is that you know you have lost and that you are doing this for yourself. I did not take starting pics either and I wish I did so take some now and you will see it happen in them. Good luck on your journey. YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!
  • juliasays77
    juliasays77 Posts: 92 Member
    My husband started this journey before I did. His mother came to visit back in April and we were getting ready to go out to a concert. She complimented my husband and then asked me, "are you going to try this diet, too?" I just smiled and said, "I've lost 18 pounds so far." She stumbled all over herself and said she just must not have noticed since she didn't usually see me dressed up. She can tell now, that's for sure. :)

    The first person who really noticed was someone that I saw on a weekly basis- she noticed at about 20 lbs.

    To be honest, though- I still have trouble seeing it in the mirror. Pictures are a different matter, so I agree with the others who said to make sure you take pictures. I've taken them in compression pants and a sports bra, and you would be shocked how much of a difference there is, even at just 10 lbs.

    You're doing great; keep it up!
  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Agree with all of the above.

    Plus, the more overweight you start out, the longer it takes for people to notice. I didn't have a whole lot to lose - I was still (barely) within the healthy BMI range, but it still took a 15lb and 2 dress size loss for general people to comment. It took about 10lbs before the people who knew I was trying to lose weight and were looking for something to compliment could see anything.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    I think last week it just hit me and I knew I needed to stop making excuses for why I wasn't getting where I wanted to be. I have all the tools, and I knew for some reason it was time. So in the last week and a half, going on 2-I have committed to working out hard, getting in every workout, and eating as well as I possibly can.

    I will say the other night, I went over to my sister in laws to look at wedding pictures from June, she just go back, and it truly reinforced what I knew to already be true, I need to do this for me. Pictures don't lie, and I am not AT ALL where I want to be, and only I can make that change, so I am. By this time next year, when i am walking down the aisle to meet my future husband, I will be 50lbs lighter and healthy!!
  • jhook11
    jhook11 Posts: 6
    Just wanted to add another *don't give up*. If you let that comment motivate you to lose another 7, and just keep going, eventually people will notice, but if you let it get bring you down you may not get to that next 7.
  • knitapeace
    knitapeace Posts: 1,013 Member
    Also, some people will notice but not say anything. Sometimes it's hard to say things the "right" way because it might come out wrong or be taken the wrong way. Sometimes in a business setting it's not appropriate to comment on a person's appearance even in a positive way. Sometimes daddies see you so often that they don't notice the small changes! Give it time, enjoy the benefits that you're already feeling! :) You're doing great.
  • jayrudq
    jayrudq Posts: 475 Member
    Stop.It.Now.
    If you let your Dad and his ignorance move into your head...he will live there and sabotage everything you are doing. You aren't doing this for him. This is for you. Find the good, dig deep and get over it. Truly. Not a second thought.
    I have been dieting since June. Exactly one friend has commented on my loss of almost 17 pounds. One. So what. It isn't about them. It is about me. And I see it, I know it, I feel it and IT WILL HAPPEN.
    7 pounds down and more to come.
  • julia9955
    julia9955 Posts: 2 Member
    IT'S THE SAME FOR ME... and the only time my dad thinks I've lost weight is when I wear flattering clothes. I lost 10 pounds a year ago.. nobody noticed.
    but more than 10 pounds have come back, and people haven't noticed that either :wink:
  • uncharted01
    uncharted01 Posts: 105 Member
    about 2 years ago i had lost about 20 pounds and was feeling awesome - until someone at work asked me when my due date was :noway:
    people can be so insensitive - just gotta rise above it and remember you're making strides towards a healthier you!

    best of luck!
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
    You have about the same amount of weight to lose as I did when I started July 1. If we were 15 lbs overweight, that 7 lbs would be much more visible! But, 7 lbs is still 7 lbs, so good for you! Despite having lost about 12% of my overall weight, no one - NOT ONE person has noticed that I've lost 23 lbs and I couldn't really see any difference until about a week ago (and it's in my face, not this gosh awful belly I have). Ugh. I know it's coming off because I'm throwing out or giving away clothes that are too big, and when I measure for inches lost every month I know I'm losing girth!

    Don't despair! One of these days, someone's going to say to both of us, "Oh, my gosh, you look wonderful! Have you lost weight?" In the interim, you can know you're doing the right thing. You're doing great!
  • slim4health56
    slim4health56 Posts: 439 Member
    Also, some people will notice but not say anything. Sometimes it's hard to say things the "right" way because it might come out wrong or be taken the wrong way. Sometimes in a business setting it's not appropriate to comment on a person's appearance even in a positive way. Sometimes daddies see you so often that they don't notice the small changes! Give it time, enjoy the benefits that you're already feeling! :) You're doing great.

    Thanks for this - I think this is very true and hadn't considered this side.
  • ractrev
    ractrev Posts: 426
    I am down 42 pounds and only now are a few people starting to notice. And the people closest to me are not among them. I think that is natural, they see you more often.
  • sbatz111
    sbatz111 Posts: 35
    I think we all get comments. My dad tells me I'm too thin (and I'm still almost 100 pounds overweight) and my doctor thinks I haven't lost enough. You can't make everyone (or sometimes anyone) happy except yourself.

    I carry my weight in my stomach, and after losing over 100 pounds, I only went down 2 jean sizes. I notice, some people don't.

    You have to do it for you, not for anyone else.
  • pwittek10
    pwittek10 Posts: 723 Member
    The only way to win is do this for yourself!
    (My Dad called me, Fat *kitten* my whole adult life, when I lost 100 pounds
    He now says I am to skinny,( I am 61 years old)
    Do it for YOU!
  • Maureen214
    Maureen214 Posts: 40 Member
    I'm glad you vented and I hope you feel better. I also thank u cause u inspired me to just take A quick selfie of my face. I've lost 16 pounds so fAr and cAn't really see it. My dear hubby to told me he could totally see it in my face. So I found a selfie I took about two weeks before I started MFP and posted the two to compare and I can see a small difference. So knowing I'm on
    My way and I know it and he knows it and I can see it I these pics is going to keep me going. I have to do the full pics and measurements but have been putting that off. But two quick photos of just my face made the difference for today!! So THANK YOU and keep going!!!
  • schobbs09
    schobbs09 Posts: 5 Member
    When I first started people who didn't see me often noticed right away that my clothes looked looser, but in the 8-9 months since I started, not one of my coworkers has said anything. It really depends on who sees you all the time I guess. I just have to keep telling myself it's how I feel.
  • hannahpistolas
    hannahpistolas Posts: 290 Member
    When I lose weight I always ask my husband if he can tell and he says I can't tell because I see you every day. You look the same. That always discourages me...

    This.

    I've lost 40 pounds and the sh*thead still sees me as the big girl.

    This is probably one of the many reasons why we are splitting...
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