frustrated with comments and opinions
BrandNewFabulousMe
Posts: 259
I've never ever ever been skinny, so it should come to no surprise that I'm still not skinny and have gained about 30 lbs over the course of the past 3 years! No one in my family is skinny. Both sides of the family we are just big people. On top of that we all cook good so its generation after generation of being overweight. am I proud? No...that's y I'm here trying to change. I want to be an example for my son who only wants to eat pizza and nuggets....that's my fault but we've been eating better the past 8 days.
back to my rant.....
my mom makes such a big deal about me being heavy. Making comments that I don't look good or baby you look like you could use some exercise. Then there are my sisters who have been doing hip hop abs the past 3 months and have lost 10 lbs each....ohhhhh amaziiingggg.......you should join them. Ugh I'm sick of hearing it! Can't I be fat in peace???? Do they really think I enjoy feeling like this? Stuffing my face with food because my emotions are out of wack and I'm lazy ughhh I want a cheeseburger right now!!!!!! Oh then there's becky at my church whose telling people I'm pregnant. I'm not even having sex!!!! tmi I know I know.
I've been on this site for 8 days. I've lost 6 lbs. I don't feel I need to tell the world I'm losing weight so they can hit me with the " its about time...or yah it wont last" comments. I just feel like I have to keep my weight loss journey a secret bc they will condemn me anyway. I really want this. I want to shut them all up. Mark my words soon as I lose 15 lbs they are gonna say my head is too big. ..Ive lost too much and im on crack.....they will say it all ugh..I feel better for the moment.
I'm strong. I want this. I can do this. Ok. I'm ready to get back to my day.
back to my rant.....
my mom makes such a big deal about me being heavy. Making comments that I don't look good or baby you look like you could use some exercise. Then there are my sisters who have been doing hip hop abs the past 3 months and have lost 10 lbs each....ohhhhh amaziiingggg.......you should join them. Ugh I'm sick of hearing it! Can't I be fat in peace???? Do they really think I enjoy feeling like this? Stuffing my face with food because my emotions are out of wack and I'm lazy ughhh I want a cheeseburger right now!!!!!! Oh then there's becky at my church whose telling people I'm pregnant. I'm not even having sex!!!! tmi I know I know.
I've been on this site for 8 days. I've lost 6 lbs. I don't feel I need to tell the world I'm losing weight so they can hit me with the " its about time...or yah it wont last" comments. I just feel like I have to keep my weight loss journey a secret bc they will condemn me anyway. I really want this. I want to shut them all up. Mark my words soon as I lose 15 lbs they are gonna say my head is too big. ..Ive lost too much and im on crack.....they will say it all ugh..I feel better for the moment.
I'm strong. I want this. I can do this. Ok. I'm ready to get back to my day.
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Replies
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I've calmed and my craving for cheeseburgers is gone!0
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Rant heard. If you can't do it for yourself than do it for your kids and break that generation free. You shouldn't tell anyone about your weight loss, just let them comment on your progress as you go but don't freak out if they don't notice until a good 25-30 pounds is gone. Oh, next time they brag about their hip hop abs workout you should ask to see those hip hop abs. Then you can rave about their amazing six pack
Seriously though do it for your kids and at least get them on the right track. Check out skinnytaste.com for some ideas about food you kids will like and not taste like diet crap. Break the chain now so they won't have to be here one day saying how they are fat because their mom is a good cook.0 -
You are right. I need to do this for me and my son. Not for them. Thank you, thank you!0
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I find telling people helpful, keeps me honest. However, I completly understand not wanting to tell anyone. That is where MFP can come in.
We can be your motivation, your cheering squad or your kick if you need one.
I am so happy to hear that this is something you are doing for you.
Feel free to add me if you want. Good luck on your process.0 -
We all need a good rant once in a while!!
Some people will always criticise. When I was growing up, my mum was always big and her mother was always on her case about it, to the point of making her cry and not wanting to go and visit her.
Now, my mum (almost 50) is in AMAZING shape, fittest she's ever been in her life, ran a half marathon at the weekend... and her mother tells her she's too thin and looks sickly.
ARGH!
You just have to push the type of thoughts those people put in your head to the side, and focus on your own wants and goals. I know that can be hard, as I take things to heart as well and it can make you feel down.
MFP has been a great place for me to talk about my weight loss as I don't like opening up that conversation with some people I know, but it feels good to come here and share stresses and successes.
Hold your head high, reach your goals, and feel AMAZING at each little milestone. 0 -
Do it for the person that looks back at you in the mirror and no one else!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!0
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I second skinnytaste.com, I love her recipes! Definitely use your children as inspiration. It's not "I'll try", it's "I will!". Take before pics, keep yourself accountable and when you feel like quitting look at that picture and remember that each day, you're one step closer. Don't compare yourself with anyone but yourself, this is your story and you're stronger than even you realize.
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You guys are really helpful right now. ...its hard not being supported at home but helpful to find it here!0
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The only people who know I am loosing weight are my husband, my in laws and my own parents. My siblings don't know as my brothers always make fun of me and commented when I was growing up " If only you weren't fat, You would Be Beautiful" I hated how they made me feel to eat around them, so started the cycle of binge eating or not eating at all. This came to my families attention when they found me passed out on the bathroom floor as I had not been eating for weeks. Then after they brought me to the nutritionist then did it start to spiral out of control and turned to food for comfort and GAINED a ton of weight. but WE ARE HERE NOW!! that's all that should matter!! So you kick that cheeseburger craving out of your head and YOU push yourself!! Forget all of them!! If they can't help build you up, they sure as hell don't get to tear you down!! Anytime they make a comment just smile and continue fighting FOR YOU AND YOUR SON!! 0
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Rant heard. If you can't do it for yourself than do it for your kids and break that generation free. You shouldn't tell anyone about your weight loss, just let them comment on your progress as you go but don't freak out if they don't notice until a good 25-30 pounds is gone. Oh, next time they brag about their hip hop abs workout you should ask to see those hip hop abs. Then you can rave about their amazing six pack
Seriously though do it for your kids and at least get them on the right track. Check out skinnytaste.com for some ideas about food you kids will like and not taste like diet crap. Break the chain now so they won't have to be here one day saying how they are fat because their mom is a good cook.
This. I decided that my child needs and deserves to have a healthy, functioning mother. She also needs to have an example of a healthy lifestyle modeled to her. I dropped the ball for her first few years, but I'm making up for it now. 15 months after deciding to be healthy and live, I don't regret it for a moment. I'm healthy, happy and with every reason to LIVE.
Who cares about the rest of them? If they are that toxic you might want to consider how much you let them be involved in your life. Life is too short for toxic people. Sometimes a close friend is better support than blood relatives, unfortunately. Yup, don't talk about your weight loss, just get healthy and happy. A few of them might actually get curious and then ask for your advice.0 -
The only people who know I am loosing weight are my husband, my in laws and my own parents. My siblings don't know as my brothers always make fun of me and commented when I was growing up " If only you weren't fat, You would Be Beautiful" I hated how they made me feel to eat around them, so started the cycle of binge eating or not eating at all. This came to my families attention when they found me passed out on the bathroom floor as I had not been eating for weeks. Then after they brought me to the nutritionist then did it start to spiral out of control and turned to food for comfort and GAINED a ton of weight. but WE ARE HERE NOW!! that's all that should matter!! So you kick that cheeseburger craving out of your head and YOU push yourself!! Forget all of them!! If they can't help build you up, they sure as hell don't get to tear you down!! Anytime they make a comment just smile and continue fighting FOR YOU AND YOUR SON!!
we are here now. You are sooooooo right!0 -
I'm so glad you posted. Remember to have patience, lots of patience. Keep focused on what you want. This is for you.0
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Yes, yes, keep focused on yourself and your journey!!! Some people think that negative comments are a way to motivate people to lose weight - little do they know more often than not, it just makes things worse, as exactly you've described.
Keep your head up - vent to your MFP friends who won't judge you like your family does. We're here to listen and to support you on your journey however you may need us. Don't give up!
http://www.shape.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-strategies/22-ways-stay-motivated-lose-weight0 -
Sorry to hear about the lack of support in your life. I hope you can find some here.
Firstly, you might want to reconsider feeding chicken nuggets to your kids. Why? Have a read of this: http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/10/07/3863678.htm
Secondly, can I give you some advice that I live by?
"Success is the best revenge"
Do your thing, adopt a healthy lifestyle, lose the weight but don't say a thing to your family.
Your changing body, your glowing complexion will be more powerful than any words.
Wishing you all the best,
Ben0 -
Yes, yes, keep focused on yourself and your journey!!! Some people think that negative comments are a way to motivate people to lose weight - little do they know more often than not, it just makes things worse, as exactly you've described.
Keep your head up - vent to your MFP friends who won't judge you like your family does. We're here to listen and to support you on your journey however you may need us. Don't give up!
http://www.shape.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-strategies/22-ways-stay-motivated-lose-weight
thank you!0 -
Sorry to hear about the lack of support in your life. I hope you can find some here.
Firstly, you might want to reconsider feeding chicken nuggets to your kids. Why? Have a read of this: http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/10/07/3863678.htm
Secondly, can I give you some advice that I live by?
"Success is the best revenge"
Do your thing, adopt a healthy lifestyle, lose the weight but don't say a thing to your family.
Your changing body, your glowing complexion will be more powerful than any words.
Wishing you all the best,
Ben
wow!! Is all I can say. Thanks for sharing with me!! Love the quote;)0 -
Yes, yes, keep focused on yourself and your journey!!! Some people think that negative comments are a way to motivate people to lose weight - little do they know more often than not, it just makes things worse, as exactly you've described.
Keep your head up - vent to your MFP friends who won't judge you like your family does. We're here to listen and to support you on your journey however you may need us. Don't give up!
http://www.shape.com/weight-loss/weight-loss-strategies/22-ways-stay-motivated-lose-weight
ha ha thanks for the motivation website. I sometimes need it on bad pain days 0 -
Sorry to hear about the lack of support in your life. I hope you can find some here.
Firstly, you might want to reconsider feeding chicken nuggets to your kids. Why? Have a read of this: http://www.abc.net.au/science/articles/2013/10/07/3863678.htm
Secondly, can I give you some advice that I live by?
"Success is the best revenge"
Do your thing, adopt a healthy lifestyle, lose the weight but don't say a thing to your family.
Your changing body, your glowing complexion will be more powerful than any words.
Wishing you all the best,
Ben
BTW chicken nuggets have been banned from my home... gross! ugh yuk!!0 -
I find telling people helpful, keeps me honest. However, I completly understand not wanting to tell anyone. That is where MFP can come in.
We can be your motivation, your cheering squad or your kick if you need one.
I am so happy to hear that this is something you are doing for you.
Feel free to add me if you want. Good luck on your process.
QFT0 -
Sounds like you have quite a challenge. But you seem to be up to it!
I second the advice to not tell anyone in your immediate family what you're doing. Find support here on MFP or elsewhere, but don't make a big deal of it to people around you. I've found that it's liberating to not be telling my friends and co-workers what I'm doing. Some have figured it out, and complimented me, and I appreciate that. But I'm doing this for me and my wife, not for anyone else, and I don't need to seek out approval from others.
If anyone is being negative, let success be your silent revenge. And good luck!
(Oh, and chicken nuggets are disgusting. I weep when I think how many I ate in high school. On the other hand, you can make delicious and healthy chicken dishes with boneless, skinless breasts and thighs.)0 -
Sounds like you have quite a challenge. But you seem to be up to it!
I second the advice to not tell anyone in your immediate family what you're doing. Find support here on MFP or elsewhere, but don't make a big deal of it to people around you. I've found that it's liberating to not be telling my friends and co-workers what I'm doing. Some have figured it out, and complimented me, and I appreciate that. But I'm doing this for me and my wife, not for anyone else, and I don't need to seek out approval from others.
If anyone is being negative, let success be your silent revenge. And good luck!
(Oh, and chicken nuggets are disgusting. I weep when I think how many I ate in high school. On the other hand, you can make delicious and healthy chicken dishes with boneless, skinless breasts and thighs.)
amen to that! Thanks for your kind words 0 -
The crack comment made me laugh. I've been there. That is a comment from people with small minds who can't fathom a different way to lose weight.0
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ok gotta jump in here.. do this for YOU because YOU are worth it. Its tough when people feel they have the right to just dump anything that comes out of their mouths on you.. might be time for some re education for them. I have gotten to the point where I simply tell people their comments are unwelcome....sometimes they get pissy and sometimes they don't.. but this isn't about them.. its about you finding your value and worth. This isn't their journey.. its yours and you have aright to do it YOUR way... hang in there sweety.. you will amaze them all, by doing it right!0
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I like you. feel free to add me for great support.0
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You guys are really helpful right now. ...its hard not being supported at home but helpful to find it here!
This place is awesome. Bring it here. You can do this... there are LOADS of success stories. Yours can be next.
Get it!0 -
I understand wanting to keep it quiet and do it for yourself. I have a bad week and fall off the wagon and my partner is the first person to throw it back in my face and make me feel worse about everything then in turn I binge (or binge drink) You don't need the world to know your business - MFP is here for you when you need the support to help you on your journey. No judgement - just support that's what I like most about it xo0
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Some great advice from commenters in this thread already, but I wanted to share some of my motivation with you too. In my family there runs diabetes, thyroid problems and heart disease. I have two children, and I don't want to be yet another family member on piles of drugs for things that I can help avoid! I want to be around for my kids until we're all old together Feel free to add me if you need another MFP friend 0
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ok gotta jump in here.. do this for YOU because YOU are worth it. Its tough when people feel they have the right to just dump anything that comes out of their mouths on you.. might be time for some re education for them. I have gotten to the point where I simply tell people their comments are unwelcome....sometimes they get pissy and sometimes they don't.. but this isn't about them.. its about you finding your value and worth. This isn't their journey.. its yours and you have aright to do it YOUR way... hang in there sweety.. you will amaze them all, by doing it right!
thank you. Im thinking im going to have to take that route0 -
Some great advice from commenters in this thread already, but I wanted to share some of my motivation with you too. In my family there runs diabetes, thyroid problems and heart disease. I have two children, and I don't want to be yet another family member on piles of drugs for things that I can help avoid! I want to be around for my kids until we're all old together Feel free to add me if you need another MFP friend
im only 28 with high cholesterol. My dr wants me to lose weight instead of taking a pill. Im taking nutrition education to learn how to eat better. I want to live a healthy life also0 -
Know exactly how you feel OP. Over the course of my life I've been told I'm too fat, too skinny and now apparently I'm too muscular. All by my mum!
But...I kinda like it. Gives me a lot of motiviation and plenty of lols when she diets on 900 cals a day then gains everything back over the course of a week!0
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