Over halfway there...
I met with my dietitian last December 27th and she provided me with an eating plan, and I remember saying, "I can do this!" It wasn't difficult or fancy. It was a balanced, portion controlled, back to basics eating plan, and it was something that I could do.
I knew I could do it because I've done it before...followed the rules, done everything I was told would work...and I've ultimately failed.
So when I left her office that day, I knew I could do it, but I also knew it wouldn't work.
One month later, I met with her again. I stepped on the scale - and can you imagine my surprise when I discovered I had lost 10 pounds? TEN! Never in my life have I been able to lose 10 pounds in one month! Before I left her office that day, she had me schedule my next appointment for 3 months later. She said, "I'll see you in three months, and I expect you to be 30 pounds lighter!" And I saw that number in my head and I said, "Wouldn't it be wonderful if that could happen!" And she said, "Why can't that happen?"
And I said to myself, "Right - Why can't it happen?" And I began to have hope. I began to believe.
Believing in myself is what has made all the difference this time.
A few weeks ago I went to the local Goodwill store and I bought jeans. Real jeans. Three pair. Size 14.
It may not seem like a big deal to many of you, but it was a big deal to me. When I gained weight, I gained it all in my stomach. I'm an apple - the most unhealthy shape to be. My beach ball belly made it impossible for me to find jeans that fit. If they fit in the hips, they wouldn't button at my waist. If they fit at my waist, they were much too large around my hips. So I stopped buying jeans. I bought those fake ones - stretchy fabric, elastic waist - you know the ones I'm talking about. I hadn't worn real jeans in over twenty years.
Wearing real jeans is a HUGE NSV for me! And I purchased them at the Goodwill store because I know - I AM ABSOLUTELY CERTAIN - that I won't need to wear a size 14 for long. Size 12 - HERE I COME!
This past week or so, I've lost focus a little bit. I am a mother and a wife who works fulltime, and I am also going to school to earn my MBA. Midterms, presentations, papers...they've overtaken my life! While I did manage to take my weekly 7-mile walk/run around the Lake, I haven't been able to hit the gym in over a week. I hate when that happens!
Next week is fall break. Time to regroup and refocus. Thinking back to where I was 9 months ago - how far I've come, all of the victories, both on and off the scale - I know how important it is to get back on track and to keep moving forward. I love where I am, and I can't wait to get to where I'm going!
Sometimes it feels like a dream. I can't believe I am here. I put on those jeans and I'm amazed that they fit...is this really happening? Pinch me, someone...please!
