Revenge.

TattooedNici
TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
in Motivation and Support
Approximately 12 hours ago, I found out why my ex-fiancee abandoned my son and I seven months ago and that's to get married to another broad. It hurts knowing the truth as to why the person you spent two years with decided to uproot himself and leave his family behind, but I'll be fine. It's the fact that getting married is more important than being a father is what sticks the hardest with me. So, I've come to the conclusion that I'll stick to my work out routine and go back to the clean eating diet to prove that I am more than this and that this didn't break me. My son deserves more and a better life and I'm going to give it to him. No, I'm not the victim here nor am I going to play that card, but it sucks for the both of us that we weren't good enough. I have no desire to get back into shape to "prove" he missed out when he left, because I'm doing it for me. This is fuel for me to keep on keeping on and strive for better. I'm sure I'm coming off as hypocritical, but it is what it is. The best revenge is to prove that you're doing better without them and you're doing better than them. I don't see a problem in doing that. Cheers!
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Replies

  • khadijak17
    khadijak17 Posts: 393 Member
    Nothing wrong with that at all! Good for you!
  • crust2000
    crust2000 Posts: 10 Member
    Men SUCK!!! Lol...

    Seriously though, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Unfortunately, more and more women I know are dealing with similar situations. I've even witnessed it, growing up in my own household.

    At the end of the day, it's all about you and your baby. Your child will one day appreciate that mom was there no matter what.

    Keep doin' your thing girl. The best revenge is a good body :wink:
  • LuLuChick78
    LuLuChick78 Posts: 439 Member
    I hope you are able to let go of your anger. At least you have some closure now.

    Off topic...but your pic is both awesome AND freaking me out :)
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    Thank you all for the kind words; it's more than you'll ever know. I'm also dealing with a sick Grandmother in the hospital on top of that, so it's been rough lately. I use my anger towards the work outs and it's very useful. I'm not much into this genre of music, but the song, Vermillion from Slipknot suits my mood at the moment and I won't let this build up inside of me.
  • JenToms80
    JenToms80 Posts: 373 Member
    Sounds like you had a lucky escape - loving your positivity! :happy:
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    Sounds like you had a lucky escape - loving your positivity! :happy:

    Yes! My family said the same thing and I agree. This maybe a blessing in disguise, after all.
  • 1aurane
    1aurane Posts: 73 Member
    You go girl!! ...be an inspiration to your son ...the best revenge is your happiness ... Good luck :flowerforyou:
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
    Good for you!

    It's so funny, some men leave their young, while some of us can only wish they could have them.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    Oh Nici, I'm sorry you had to hear such news! and yet here you are being strong!! goon on ya!! just keep on going with your fitness, looking after yourself and your little one... you will survive this and become stronger xo
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    Sorry you are going through that! My ex left my son and I for "things". We were together 22 yrs. he never really loved us and still doesn't. You and your son will be much better off without him. I know it is hard to see that now but it's the truth. :flowerforyou:
  • 0151kaz00
    0151kaz00 Posts: 3 Member
    My inspiration has been similar. I was told that my ex (who used to love to call me fat and ugly) was seeing someone and I decided that if I was to see them out together I would want to look better than I was.

    I now realise that the bad relationship that I was in caused my over eating.

    He is single again and things are not going well for him.

    I am sticking to the lifestyle changes that I made, even if the reason why I made the changes wasn't ideal, it's done me a favour.
    I am enjoying buying clothes again and looking forward to trips that I have booked, mainly because I have triple the energy that I used to have.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I came here ready to be disappointed. I am glad I wasn't. Very positive attitude. I am glad that you're moving on and doing this for yourself :)

    Good luck :)
  • lauren3101
    lauren3101 Posts: 1,853 Member
    I came here ready to be disappointed. I am glad I wasn't. Very positive attitude. I am glad that you're moving on and doing this for yourself :)

    Good luck :)

    Exactly what I thought as well, but I was pleasantly surprised. Good on you, girl.
  • Myhaloslipped
    Myhaloslipped Posts: 4,317 Member
    I really admire your admire your attitude. I don't know you, but I feel proud of you. I know what it feels like to be cheated on and heartbroken after years of doing right and giving your heart, soul and everything to someone. You are going to be okay. :)
  • Regan45
    Regan45 Posts: 191 Member
    The best revenge is living well. Don't ever think you're "not good enough". HE was not good enough for you and your son. You will find someone that will be.
  • suziepoo1984
    suziepoo1984 Posts: 915 Member
    Great attitude:) your son will be very proud of his mamma :)
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    Booo. I thought that this involved some car keying or other sabotage. *walks away disappointed*
  • teamAmelia
    teamAmelia Posts: 1,247 Member
    My inspiration has been similar. I was told that my ex (who used to love to call me fat and ugly) was seeing someone and I decided that if I was to see them out together I would want to look better than I was.

    I hope that you're not ever in a situation like that again. No one deserves abuse.
  • Daisychain65
    Daisychain65 Posts: 161 Member
    but it sucks for the both of us that we weren't good enough.




    You are good enough, he Isn't!
    You've got this, good luck!
  • weaving2fast
    weaving2fast Posts: 64 Member
    Hey guys can be real jerks and I'm one of them! I hurt someone years ago and even though we both moved on it still bugs me. Sometimes you can't right a wrong even when you try. I'm sure if I ever had the opportunity to speak to her again she wouldn't hate me but it would still hurt. Revenge may seem like a harsh word but it had nothing to do with you. He is the one who lost and he will regret it sooner or later. It took a couple years for me to realize I screwed up and of course it was too late. Your son has a great mom and take care of yourself for yourself.
  • Mia_RagazzaTosta
    Mia_RagazzaTosta Posts: 4,885 Member
    Good for you!

    It's so funny, some men leave their young, while some of us can only wish they could have them.

    Very sweet :)
  • imogen__may
    imogen__may Posts: 78 Member
    You're doing the best thing, you're a strong woman and you'll be a good roll model for your kid! Best of luck x
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    men suck donkeyballs!
    your better then him!
    go make a new life
    and smile.
    to HELL with him!
  • l0l0p
    l0l0p Posts: 167 Member
    OP>>>> LOVE THE Attitude you got there!!!:flowerforyou:

    YOU ARE A GREAT Example for this Quote>>>>>>>>>>>>Being strong doesn't mean you'll never get hurt........... It means that even when you do get hurt, you'll never let it defeat you!!!!!

    WTG Awesome Gorgeous!!!!!!!!!:heart::heart: :heart:

    AND to end it off >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> What hurts you today, makes you stronger tomorrow! :drinker:
  • csmullins78
    csmullins78 Posts: 61 Member
    Ok... this hits close to home for me.

    Why do we feel like rejection somehow means we weren't "good enough" for another person? Maybe it means nothing other than that we weren't right for each other... Or, perhaps it means that the problem is with him!

    I fall into this same trap. I ask myself, "why wasn't I enough for him?" and "why would he want someone else when he could have me?" These are all fallacies.

    The important thing is realizing that you are enough as you are. The only person you need to make happy is yourself. You can't control what other people think or do.

    Put yourself first. Confidence is very attractive!
  • hillarysmith21
    hillarysmith21 Posts: 25 Member
    No you don't sound hypocritical! I think it's great you want to do this for you. You deserve it! And someone better, I'm sorry about all of that.
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    Thanks for the uplifting and the motivating words, everyone! Yes, I had the forlorn sensation initially, but now I'm using it to better myself and fortify my body and mind. In the end, I'm doing this for me and my son because he deserves a better future and I deserve to be happy. :happy:
  • TattooedNici
    TattooedNici Posts: 2,141 Member
    Booo. I thought that this involved some car keying or other sabotage. *walks away disappointed*

    Be disappointed all you want, but keying his car is beneath me. Besides, it wasn't his car that did this. End of story.
  • Shannonthompson73
    Shannonthompson73 Posts: 105 Member
    Good for you, the high road it tough to take but worth it in the end.

    Please don't let his crazy make you feel like you are less than you should be .You are always enough. He is the one who could not get himself together to be enough!

    Take care of you.
  • cafeaulait7
    cafeaulait7 Posts: 2,459 Member
    Oooooh, my ex made some really stubborn, bad decisions and turned into a big ole selfish loser himself. Thank God we didn't have children, because he would have just up and left them, too, yep. With mine it was some odd sort of early mid-life crisis or something. I don't know how he let himself stoop as low as he did, but the main thing is that I flat out don't like people like that.

    He may think I'm not good enough for him, but I don't agree and don't care. I lost respect for him, and we don't see eye to eye on what makes a person selfish, etc. It's like our values evolved 180 degrees away from each other over time. Well, that's not my problem now ;)

    It's absolutely great to do it for you and your child! Relish in not having to care about what he thinks or what he's doing. It's so, so nice to not have to care anymore about someone who hurts you. I found that incredibly freeing. If my ex chooses to be a hurtful person, it's awesome that I kind of hate him now. That's so much nicer than loving someone like that.

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