The Green Eyed Monster

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trejon
trejon Posts: 203
in Motivation and Support
Has anyone experienced "haters" since losing weight :devil: ? I have been called arrogant because I admit my excitement for losing eight pant sizes.. I am daily told that I am "too focused" on logging my food and watching what I eat. One person even told me that I rub my weight loss in people's faces when I refuse to take a donut from the office box stating that it is not worth the calories for me.

1. What am I doing so wrong?

2. Have you experienced this type of thing since losing weight?
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Replies

  • aehenson
    aehenson Posts: 86
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    Your good decision makes them feel guilty for reaching for that donut.
  • Angiepackmom4
    Angiepackmom4 Posts: 75
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    Yes, I have had similiar things happen to me since I have lost weight (Ive lost 12 on mfp but more before this). People really pressure me to eat at social gatherings and say "you're so skinny" what will it hurt to eat something. People seem to pressure me more now than when I was heavy. Try to stay around the positive people that are happy for your success!! Congratulations on your weight loss.
  • carrie145
    carrie145 Posts: 297
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    I haven't been through that yet, but you are doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong!! Losing eight pants sizes is something to be EXTREMELY proud of. Who cares what others think!! As long as you are proud of yourself, it doesn't matter what they say. I agree with aehenson, they are feeling the guilt!
  • MelliCheer
    MelliCheer Posts: 26
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    You're doing nothing wrong! Keep at it, keep saying no to the donuts, and keep focused on YOUR goal. All they're doing is projecting their frustration with themselves on to you - because it's easier to make snide remarks then facing up to their own issues.
  • katzpawz
    katzpawz Posts: 754
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    You are doing nothing wrong! You are doing exactly what you need to do for you.

    I've had similar reactions from people. I once worked in an office where I chose not to participate in "pot luck" lunches because it was too tempting for me. My supervisor accused me not being a team player and not fully supporting the efforts of our department. It seemed to me that I deserved the support of the team as much as anyone else, if we were in fact a team. The true irony is that most of the people in this office were overweight as well. I think they lashed out at me for doing the right thing for myself and they couldn't or wouldn't.

    The other thing that comes to mind is that, for folks that don't have a weight problem, they don't get what it's like. I've battled a weight problem my entire life. My older brother has only in the last few years begun to put on extra weight. At age 50, he's learning about the challenges I've dealt with all my life. He told me recently that he had no idea how hard it was to deal with a weight problem.

    All of that said may help explain the behavior of others, but it doesn't excuse it.
    Keep doing what you're doing and congrats on your weight loss!!
  • biglazydog
    biglazydog Posts: 15 Member
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    Sorry you have had to deal with that. You should be proud what a big accomplishment for you!!!!! Ignore the haters. What you are doing is great for you. I have had a little of that. I think it makes them feel guilty that they are not making healthy life style changes. Try to find a diet buddy. This helps because you both are thinking the same way. Only a diet buddy can get just as excited as you are over finding a new low cal snack food or a new way to eat spinach!!!!
  • kaffro
    kaffro Posts: 199 Member
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    Oh yeah, sure have. I had one person get really nasty with me insisting I was taking some kind of pills to lose weight. I don't speak to that person anymore. I didn't need the negativity or jealousy from them.

    I worked hard and lost the weight by changing my eating habits and exercising, simple as that. It's so weird how people don't believe that actually works :huh:

    Congrats on your success! You should be proud of yourself, you look amazing!
  • Lisamarie1226
    Lisamarie1226 Posts: 335 Member
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    Your good decision makes them feel guilty for reaching for that donut.

    Exactly! I come across the same thing. If it's a heavy workout day, I might give in to the homemade oatmeal cookies or a cupcake. But on a non workout day? I'll say no and people roll their eyes and are like, "whatever...it's one donut." I totally agree, when you politely decline, it does make people more aware of the fact that they are eating something unhealthy.

    And I too had a friend who said I was "self absorbed" because I was talking about my progress and love working out.
  • kaffro
    kaffro Posts: 199 Member
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    And I too had a friend who said I was "self absorbed" because I was talking about my progress and love working out.

    Wow, some friend :frown: You keep on being "self absorbed" and working out! Obviously it's workin' for ya :smile:
  • sumbodyzbrat
    sumbodyzbrat Posts: 3
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    No way are you doing anything wrong! Good for you and ignore the HATERS!!!
  • carlajp18
    carlajp18 Posts: 50 Member
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    I say enjoy your success! But make sure you are engaging in well rounded conversations. Meaning, people do get tired of talking about weightloss every single day at the lunch table. I've experienced first hand from someone who got the lapband. I want to be supportive but it would be nice if we talked about other things too.

    So my advice is make sure you are still a good friend, listener, coworker, etc. And enjoy your success, you've earned it!!

    BTW, my personal pet peeve is when we are still at the dinner table and the mobile app is on so my gf can log her calories. I'm like we are still eating! geez! LOL I log calories when I'm done with my food thank you very much. :wink:
  • Bonnie555
    Bonnie555 Posts: 62
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    I kind of laugh about this - I have never experienced haters. But a few years ago I was 220+ and if I dressed nice etc. I used to get all kinds of compliments then I lost 40lbs and the compliments stopped. I laugh, because I am still heavy, but now I was getting close to their weight and the compliments turned to "checkin outs" lol!!. Anyway, heading for the low 150s, we will see how it goes. Don't let them get to you:)
  • SoldierDad
    SoldierDad Posts: 1,602
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    Has anyone experienced "haters" since losing weight :devil: ? I have been called arrogant because I admit my excitement for losing eight pant sizes.. I am daily told that I am "too focused" on logging my food and watching what I eat. One person even told me that I rub my weight loss in people's faces when I refuse to take a donut from the office box stating that it is not worth the calories for me.

    1. What am I doing so wrong?

    2. Have you experienced this type of thing since losing weight?

    Yeah I get put down a lot for my weight loss. I majorly get put down for not eating unhealthy food. I just say a little prayer that God makes them kinder and i go about my day.
  • haleighallen
    haleighallen Posts: 209 Member
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    Has anyone experienced "haters" since losing weight :devil: ? I have been called arrogant because I admit my excitement for losing eight pant sizes.. I am daily told that I am "too focused" on logging my food and watching what I eat. One person even told me that I rub my weight loss in people's faces when I refuse to take a donut from the office box stating that it is not worth the calories for me.

    1. What am I doing so wrong?

    2. Have you experienced this type of thing since losing weight?

    You aren't doing anything 'wrong' honey! They just can't stand you're success! They are jealous that you have done what they can not bring themselves to do! Be proud, and don't let the haters get you down :flowerforyou:
  • NutritionDivaRD
    NutritionDivaRD Posts: 467 Member
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    We now live in a nation that is more than 60% overweight. I'm sure many of us work with a number of people who are making improper choices and living unhealthy lifestyles. I too have had to deal with the occasional, "just have one, one won't hurt" comments. I just smile, stand firm, and assume that when I'm given an attitude by someone they must be envious. Maybe in time they will come to you seeking advice instead of trying to sabotage you. Just hang in there! Eight pant sizes!!! Holy weight loss batman! That is outstanding! CONGRATS! :)
  • kspeach
    kspeach Posts: 179 Member
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    The only thing I can think of is to decline the doughnut politely, and leave OFF the part about not being worth the calories. That makes people defensive about their eating the doughnut, and/or not exercising, especially if they are jealous. Now, if they ASK why not, go ahead and puff a little bit about your diet and weight loss.

    As for the potluck dinners, we are going to be tempted the rest of our lives. We have to learn to make good choices. You can bring a low cal item, and you're going to be eating around people forever. And if we DO fall of the wagon, so to speak, we just get back up and start the next day!! :) If it's important to your job, you should participate, even if it does seem 'social'. At some point, many alcoholics have to learn to be in a place that serves alcohol and around people who drink in many jobs or social situations.

    Best of luck to all of us!! :)
  • Dencrossgirl
    Dencrossgirl Posts: 501 Member
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    Ignore, ignore, ignore, they are upset that you are doing what they know they should be doing. You are doing great and you don't grief from anyone.
  • KimSchnizleinWECHANGED
    KimSchnizleinWECHANGED Posts: 189
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    You are obviously doing everything right!! Go take a look in the mirror!! As far as I'm concerned ... The added part about that donut not being worth the cals is just fine to say! You've worked hard to get where you are, and as long as the tone of voice is acceptable ... Then so is the phrase. It's true isn't it?! When these people attempt to slam you I would just calmly and politely tell them that you've worked hard to get where you are, and tracking your cals and food is just another part of your daily tasks. The point is that no matter how firmly and calmly you attempt to deal with the situation there are still going to be people who want to try to knock you off your game. Just persevere! You're doing a GREAT job!! Congrats on those forever lost pants sizes!!
  • Cissy92
    Cissy92 Posts: 63 Member
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    girl dont sweat it... people say an do things like that cause they are jealous of ur motivation and dedication...they want what u got....U no misery loves company..U are doin AWSOME!!!!!....keep up tha great work an BRUSH THEM HATERS OFF!!!!!
  • gnrshelton
    gnrshelton Posts: 358 Member
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    There will always be haters. They are mad because they can't be as focused and every time they see you doing well it reminds them how they are NOT doing so well. Don't let them get to you.. You have done FANTASTIC and deserve to be happy for yourself.

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