My family wants me to stay fat...

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  • Stump_Likker
    Stump_Likker Posts: 2,059 Member
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    And people in Hell want ice water. Do what you need to do. Their issues with it is their problem.
  • MuseofSong
    MuseofSong Posts: 322 Member
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    I say do what you need to do for you. But, geez, I still think it's a little better than the other side.

    My sister is the first one to snap something away with a sneer and howl of, 'YOU CAN"T HAVE THAT!"
    :grumble: Girl please, you don't know what I can or can't have or what I've already planned into my meals for the day.
    Jealousy of watching someone eat two large pieces of pizza and still lose weight gnaws at some people.
    I hate food police.

    Luckily my SO is the complete opposite, 100% kind and supportive of whatever I want to do for me. He is naturally fit and not deeply worried about me being fat or slender, as long as I'm okay with health conditions under control.

    I think just reassuring your husband that you love him will help. Few things reassure a man better than lovin's! So, you have your mission should you choose to accept it. :smooched:

    As for the rest of your family, unless you live with them or visit them constantly, try not to worry too much about the opinions that would stall your progress. Compared to them, you're probably where they'd like to be, and they aren't, so like everyone else said, it's their own insecurities. It's their problem, not yours.
  • __freckles__
    __freckles__ Posts: 1,238 Member
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    Your husband hit the nail on the head. He's insecure that you might change and become better than him. So is everybody else who looks at you as already smaller than them. If you need to lose weight, then they need to lose weight, and that makes them unhappy. You improving yourself reflects poorly on them, so they want to drag you down to their level.

    Talk to your mother and see how she handled the pressure, or if she still has to deal with it.

    Talk to your husband. There are a wide variety of ways to remind him that only he will get some of the special added benefits of you becoming more healthy.

    Everybody else can go fornicate with a duck.

    THIS. Especially the last line.
  • Ellegwey13
    Ellegwey13 Posts: 2 Member
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    I feel you, I am currently going through the same thing with my own husband. I had a baby in January and haven't had the time or motivation to try and lose the weight until just recently. Don't get me wrong, she's definitely worth the extra pounds, but I miss my pre-pregnancy clothes and weight. Just do it for yourself, you can even be sneaky about it and start integrating healthier foods into your diet. That's what I'm doing ;). After all, he can either eat or starve lol
  • qpmomma1
    qpmomma1 Posts: 220 Member
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    I feel you, I am currently going through the same thing with my own husband. I had a baby in January and haven't had the time or motivation to try and lose the weight until just recently. Don't get me wrong, she's definitely worth the extra pounds, but I miss my pre-pregnancy clothes and weight. Just do it for yourself, you can even be sneaky about it and start integrating healthier foods into your diet. That's what I'm doing ;). After all, he can either eat or starve lol

    I hear ya. I only gained 15 lbs when I was pregnant. I was so sick I couldn't eat. After having her I went crazy and ate like a pig. However, I breastfed so I could eat bad food and got down to my pre-pregnancy weight quickly. Then she stopped breastfeeding and I kept eating junk........now I'm overweight. I am not going to make that mistake again.
  • pkteen
    pkteen Posts: 121 Member
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    Why I want to get in shape
    1) To be healthy and get my IBS under control.
    2) To be a better role model for my daughter and step daughter.
    3) To wear cute clothes again and feel attractive.
    4) To be healthier when we have another baby.

    That's what you wrote on your profile page. Say this to those who are telling you you are fine. It's not always about getting skinny, it's about health. Just because you look good the way you are doesn't mean you are as healthy as you can be.

    I think I am going to print them out and keep it with me and look at it. These motivate me a lot.

    Exactly! (y)
  • redheaddee
    redheaddee Posts: 2,005 Member
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    Everybody else can go fornicate with a duck.

    My sentiments exactly. Change is hard. Don't worry about everyone else, worry about you. When your effort and success starts to show, others may join you, such as your hubby. Otherwise...NMFP. (not my f***ing problem)

    S/N: On a personal level, I will share that working out with my husband has been as good for our health as it has been for our sex life.
    :smooched: :devil: :smokin:
    SERIOUSLY. If that doesn't het the DH off the couch...well, I have no words for you at that point. :huh:
  • OMG_Twinkies
    OMG_Twinkies Posts: 215 Member
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    It's not about you. Just remember that when they're being unsupportive and selfish.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
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    Don't tell them. Just do it. It's a private thing anyway.
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
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    Okay, my mother has never been supportive of my weight loss. Like yesterday I bought new jeans, I'm down to a US size 8. I think its been at least 15 years since I was in single digit clothing. I literally cried in the fitting room, happy tears of joy and shock. I was so happy that I told my mom and showed her my new clothes. First she said, "Yea right and I'm a twinkie!". I said no I really am a size 8 now and then excitingly pulled my jeans out of the bag and showed her. She immediately tugged on the jean fabric, saw that it had a little stretch to them and stated, "you bought stretch jeans, that why you can get them on." I didn't get a congrats or good job, she just ignored me and went back to watching TV. People can just be so rude and harsh. I just ignore it and don't let it get me down
  • fitspo145
    fitspo145 Posts: 81
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    Everybody else can go fornicate with a duck.

    My sentiments exactly. Change is hard. Don't worry about everyone else, worry about you. When your effort and success starts to show, others may join you, such as your hubby. Otherwise...NMFP. (not my f***ing problem)

    S/N: On a personal level, I will share that working out with my husband has been as good for our health as it has been for our sex life.
    :smooched: :devil: :smokin:
    SERIOUSLY. If that doesn't het the DH off the couch...well, I have no words for you at that point. :huh:

    ^^ This. :) I agree with others on here. I totally understand what you are going through with your significant other. Since I started working out my boyfriend started becoming increasingly more insecure and although he is not overweight he is very skinny fat and started to become even more disappointed with his figure and health after seeing me finally getting off my *kitten* after a year of lazing about.

    You can ease your husband into exercise. Sometimes instead if me doing Insanity in the morning and the bf playing video games I ask him to go for a long walk up the hill with me or something. Doing this several times a week has already improved how he feels about himself and how comfortable he feels about me working out :). Plus now he feels more confident to move onto strength training again etc. It's all about just making gradual changes. He'll get there I promise!
  • Quiet_Professional
    Quiet_Professional Posts: 4 Member
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    At the end of the day you have to do what you think is right. If losing weight would not only make you feel better about yourself but also legitimately add years and quality to your life then everyone should be all hands on deck. It is gonna to be hard but certainly not impossible.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Almost every episode of Extremem weight loss makeover is about this in one form or another. Apparently it's a thing. Why don't you try to find some episodes online and see if anything clicks for you as a solution. They are all success stories most of which overcame some form of family sabotage or another.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    I don't understand why your husband is being the way he is. I mean if he was loosing 75lbs and being healthy when you were not and you didn't say or act this way. Just kind of baffles me why He would expect it of you.

    I don't have that issue so much, I am 290lbs and everyone in my family ( besides my brothers) are rooting for me to drop kick this weight off. I need to do it also because 2 1/2 years ago I was in a serious car accident and had to have two surgeries on my right leg and after 1 1/2 years had to re learn how to walk again because it took that long just for it to heal up.

    I suggest like someone else said, cook the same meals for your husband and it will show you are wanting him to be apart of your journey. Don't pester him, because I know with my husband he gets pissy if I do that and just ignores the healthy food and goes and buys bad foods. I sat down and told my husband also that I was changing to be a better wife and mother to the children ( that we have not had yet) and that I am not looking at anyone else but HIM.
    My husband actually will sit their and talk about the clothes he is going to buy me when I get back the sexy curves I had when he married me after I sat down and had this conversation with him. I am excited for that as he pushes me to be healthier and be the woman I want to be. So I suggest sitting down and opening yourself up to him, tell him you know he is insecure that you are going to find someone better but that is not the case. That you are doing this all for you and him and your marriage.

    Also haters are going to hate. Like someone else said they are insecure that you can get up every morning and workout and watch what you eat. While they don't do that and get fatter and such.

    I wish the best of luck to you!!
  • ricki011
    ricki011 Posts: 89 Member
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    invite him to walk with you. exercise is the best antidepressant and it sounds like he might benefit from the benefits of exercise.
    Many people don't see walking as exercise until they start noticing the weight loss and they feel great too.
  • OMGeeeHorses
    OMGeeeHorses Posts: 732 Member
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    invite him to walk with you. exercise is the best antidepressant and it sounds like he might benefit from the benefits of exercise.
    Many people don't see walking as exercise until they start noticing the weight loss and they feel great too.

    100% agree with this. Walking took me off my ant depressant pills and I have lost my 41lbs off it :)
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    My only advice is to keep on keeping on. Don't ever allow anybody to get in your way of becoming as healthy as you can become. I bet your mom will tell your that. :smile: In fact, she sounds incredible.

    As for your husband- he's got some stuff to work on, namely his insecurity issues. I don't understand unsupportive spouses or partners.

    I will tell you that my honey, who I've been with for eight years, was always telling me how inspired he was with how I logged in food, lost weight, and was taking very good care of myself. Recently, his doctor told him he needed to lose weight and set him up with a nutritionist. My honey told her about my weight loss journey and using MFP, and she was thrilled and knew exactly what he was talking about it, etc. etc., and my honey is now using MFP. He LOVES it, and he's doing very well with it.

    By the way, from what I understand, the nutritionist recommends MFP to her clients. Also, from what I understand, she tabulated my hones' TDEE and told him to eat a certain amount less than that, and he would lose weight. Well, the MFP calculations came out to about the same as what the nutritionist said.
  • Oh_Allie
    Oh_Allie Posts: 258 Member
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    I have no advice other than what's already been offered, but I understand where you're at with family. My boyfriend is supportive but also sabotages me (brings in foods that he knows I binge on, cooks food and serves it all up when he knows I want to track things, etc.). He gets what I'm doing and why, but he's really insecure that I'll leave him when I'm healthy.

    Good luck!
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