Public MFP Apology

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lonypony
lonypony Posts: 130 Member
in Motivation and Support
I offended an MFP friend and she deleted me. To her and everyone else that I may have missed replying to either privately or on the pages while I have been away on a recent holiday or at work.

It is hard working full time and have a house to run with 4 other adults who still think they need everything done for them. I come home after a full day at work out of the home, to my husband who works from home but in a very busy and demanding job (ok I understand his needs), my son doing yr 12 (ok I understand his needs), my 21 y.o. daughter who works herself as a chef (yes I understand she isn't home either) and her fiance 23 (who goes to uni and also a musician - but leads quite a lazy life in-between!).

I come home to prepare tea (quite often my husband has done something which is much appreciated), but ironing, washing, cleaning, general househould duties like mail, paying bills (both for home and my husband's business), cleaning after the cat and feeding etc, then when I just sit down at around 8pm each night I log on to MFP. I use a computer and deal with people all day at work, I don't want to continue my computer use into the night as well so I limit myself to 15-30 mins each night, then that is it. I chill with a wine and tv and let my mind relax.

I love MFP and the support everyone gives, it worked for me in the past and I have been struggling with weight again this time around with a low thyroid, so it is a constant battle. However I am going to persevere and I will reach my goals whatever they may be and no matter how long it will take.

If anyone is interested, I did send a personal apology to the girl I offended and I have deliberately not named her because I don't want her bombarded with posts good or bad, and if she reads this (as she has deleted me), again I am deeply sorry but it was not intentional.

Thanks everyone for reading, but I had to get this off my chest.

Leonie
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Replies

  • boroko
    boroko Posts: 358 Member
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    What a lovely post and such a shame that someone has made you feel bad like that! I share your sentiments exactly and you mustn't carry the guilt for another "friend's" petulant act. We have busy lives and the amount of time I can spend on MFP varies greatly (I have spent the last 2 weeks dealing with a house move and some days have barely had time to eat let alone log it or get involved in every conversation going!). Sometimes I don't hear from people for ages and then it's lovely when you do. Some people have never responded to any of my posts but that doesn't stop me offering them support or encouragement when I feel it's appropriate.

    Cary on being yourself and if someone couldn't accept that level of contact they weren't much of a friend to start with so no loss! Life's too short to fret about such things.
  • Wildflower0106
    Wildflower0106 Posts: 247 Member
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    That is so sad! I have been deleted for the same reasons. I don't have the luxury of goofing of on the internet at waork. I also work long days and between that and my own family repsonsibility it doesn't leave much time to check up on internet friends. You keep doing what you have to do, some of is are not glued to the computer 24/7.

    I would not have apologized for having a life.
  • BobcatGirl110
    BobcatGirl110 Posts: 364 Member
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    I think perhaps there are many who have very different views about what "friends" means on a site like this AND what support means. Do what you can and/or want to....those that value your participation on MFP (in what form it comes in) will still be there when you sign in again :) I think the most important thing is that you find a balance that works for YOU...this is about YOUR progress and what YOU need so find people who can support that in the way you need it.
  • nickalow11
    nickalow11 Posts: 99 Member
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    Good for you for even noticing that she dropped you. I totally get it, and I also try to make sure my comments are meaningful. I'm not really sure you have anything to apologize for! Good luck to you!
  • fitpam90x
    fitpam90x Posts: 197 Member
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    Such a lovely post, I think this was very kind of you to post this. :smile: I completely understand where you are coming from, I couldn't comment as much on some of my friends' posts with the start of the school year and found a few have deleted me because of that.

    I agree with billieljaime, I try to give genuine comments on here and even though I don't comment on every single post in my feed, that doesn't change the fact that I genuinely care about my friends' progress.

    All the best to you!
  • MayaSPapaya
    MayaSPapaya Posts: 735 Member
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    I agree that it was very sweet of you to post this. I also get how busy life can interfere with MFP-my school/work life has cut back on my interaction on here a lot. We do the best we can!
  • donnaleighh
    donnaleighh Posts: 178 Member
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    Leonie, you are a good woman and a strong woman. Like many of us you are a superwoman with full life with people you love and care for and have first responsibilities too - your priorities are clearly in the right place! Respect! DLx
  • salladeve
    salladeve Posts: 1,053 Member
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    If they don't understand that you have a LIFE then you don't need them anyway. This is why I limit my FL to a few very close friends IRL.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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  • jenj1313
    jenj1313 Posts: 898 Member
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    Confused... was the offensive action just that you weren't attentive enough b/c you were busy, or was is something else entirely?

    If it is just that you weren't attentive enough, I'm amazed that I have any friends left at all!

    But, that said, good for you for apologizing if you felt it was the right thing to do.... that takes effort and self respect.

    All the best to you in your MFP journey :-)

    Jen
  • Goddessmaker1
    Goddessmaker1 Posts: 114 Member
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    Honey don't worry about children of the internet. I removed every mfper bc I just couldn't be bothered with the fake pep talks and the gloating. DO YOU and take care of yourself. The weight will come off in time just focus on health and nothing else.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    ive had my share of deletes, but I don't take it personally. I'm on this site fore one person only...myself. I've got a life though and sometimes get busy. I enjoy the friendship and helping each other out, but I cant feel guilt it's destructive to my ultimate goal.
  • bunnybutler29
    bunnybutler29 Posts: 291
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    Oh man one apology was enough. If it were for being unattentive then I would not have apologized at all. U do not need to justify ur actions of how busy u are. It is their loss. Friends come and go, and u can always make new ones. As with any relationship that ends. It just wasnt meant to be. Some people do not recognize that others have lives outside of the internet. Take care of urself 1st.
  • mrhonesty
    mrhonesty Posts: 274 Member
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    Good for you,it sounds like a sincere apology and even if she does not read it, you are creating positive energy around you. :flowerforyou:
  • Ophidion
    Ophidion Posts: 2,065 Member
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    If you sent her a PM apology I think that is sufficient, If people delete me I am cool with that and rarely if ever pm them because since they deleted me I am sure they are not looking for further correspondence unless I feel I have done something inconsiderate but then it will only be the briefest of apologies as I respect their decision and space.

    I do believe you are over thinking this.
  • laurynwithawhy
    laurynwithawhy Posts: 385 Member
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    You seem like a really nice person. Honestly, I don't think you have anything to apologize for. I have friend that rarely interact with me and friends I rarely interact with. I usually wait until someone hasn't logged in for over a month before I even consider deleting. Don't feel bad. You have higher priorities in your life than electronically patting someone else on the back every day. :)
  • Alluminati
    Alluminati Posts: 6,208 Member
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    It's not that serious.
  • froeschli
    froeschli Posts: 1,292 Member
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    not that i am swimming in friends (probably because i don't always write kudos and am a bit sloppy with logging my food - oopsie)

    i wouldn't take it too seriously. i once got deleted for not being in the right age group, sad really, but the person had a point, she couldn't keep up with everyone, so she narrowed her friends list down to people who were closest to being in the same boat, statistically speaking...
    other times i got deleted was for not being online several weeks in a row. or, constantly telling someone to eat more - guess she got tired of that :tongue:

    get over it, add a few others, and have a party. or not.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    man i was hoping this was for me from that one dude who did that one thing that one time. nvm.

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