A guy I know....
RoyBeck
Posts: 947 Member
Has lost 42lbs I found out yesterday. I saw him for the first time in about 3 months and congratulated him on how he was looking. I told him I'd lost 50lbs in 6 months and he replied that he'd lost 42 in about 2 months. Blimey I thought and asked him what he'd done.
He told me a lot of exercise and restricting himself to 1100-1300 calories per day. He now weighs 240 so when he started he was 282!! In my mind that's way too low. With exercise he must be netting less than 1000.
I've no idea how he has functioned lol but I congratulated him although I wanted to tell him that is very low I didn't feel I know him well enough to do so?
Should I have or would you have just congratulated him and said nothing?
He told me a lot of exercise and restricting himself to 1100-1300 calories per day. He now weighs 240 so when he started he was 282!! In my mind that's way too low. With exercise he must be netting less than 1000.
I've no idea how he has functioned lol but I congratulated him although I wanted to tell him that is very low I didn't feel I know him well enough to do so?
Should I have or would you have just congratulated him and said nothing?
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Replies
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I feel like that is not a reasonable amount to lose in that time frame. Sounds like he's setting himself up to 'fall off the wagon' and start over eating. That's what happened to me last year. I lost 45 pounds and then gave in to the junk food and gained back 20.0
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If he ask for advice or said he felt like crap I might have suggested a different diet plan but since you say you don't know him well and he didn't ask for advice it was probably better to keep it to yourself.0
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Anything less than congratulating him makes you a hater.
It doesnt matter, you dont know enough about him to determine why he looks the way he does, just that he is making changes to make himself better.0 -
Congratulate and leave it at that. You know better because such a restrictive diet will never work in the long-run - you can almost guarantee that the majority of the weight will come right back on unless the diet is sustainable.Has lost 42lbs I found out yesterday. I saw him for the first time in about 3 months and congratulated him on how he was looking. I told him I'd lost 50lbs in 6 months and he replied that he'd lost 42 in about 2 months. Blimey I thought and asked him what he'd done.
He told me a lot of exercise and restricting himself to 1100-1300 calories per day. He now weighs 240 so when he started he was 282!! In my mind that's way too low. With exercise he must be netting less than 1000.
I've no idea how he has functioned lol but I congratulated him although I wanted to tell him that is very low I didn't feel I know him well enough to do so?
Should I have or would you have just congratulated him and said nothing?0 -
He'll regret it in the future (although he wont know why he's gained back so much)0
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Don't say anything or give any advice unless he asks.. otherwise high five, nice job... especially with us guys.. I mean the fact he told you he is counting calories is a big thing.. cause ya know with guys thats not something we talk about around others that don't0
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you did good just congratulatiing him, not a diet plan I would want to go with but to each his own....
sounds like you are doing great though so good work!0 -
I think you did right just congratulating him. It's one thing if he asks you for advice, but unsolicited advice usually doesn't go over so well. He also sounds like he's a pretty big guy and has the fat stores to sustain huge deficits for awhile...it'll eventually catch up to him though which is where you may be of further assistance in the future.0
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Wow, you met my brother!
Being a brother, I did confront him. It didn't end well. He just kept saying "You do your thing and I'll do mine" over and over again.
You did well to zip it IMO.0 -
Yeah you really can't say much in those circumstances unfortunately. Hopefully he realizes that he's setting himself up to fail.0
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I don't necessarily think he's being too drastic. I mean, he was 282 when he started, so he's bound to lose weight faster if he cuts his calories and exercises. As long as he's eating healthily and he realizes that this shouldn't just be a diet but a lifestyle change then he's fine (though it would be nice if he upped his calories to 1200 calories and not dipped below that).0
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One thing I really REALLY do not understand is the hate for very low cal diets and the assumption that it cannot lead to a life long change.
I just don't see whats wrong with it. If you are hitting the min amount for your body to function when you have a crap ton of weight to loose than what is wrong with it? I understand that you cannot and should not live the rest of your life on that low calorie count BUT at some point you will not be trying to lose 2+ pounds a week and instead just go to maintaining a healthy weight. So why the assumption that they intend to stay on it for the rest of their life? It seems like a good lesson for some as to how their body works. Seriously not trying to start a debate, I just do not understand why it is looked down on so much. For me personally it was a learning experience about my own body when I was really fat and actually helped me understand why and how to up my calories when I got to a healthier weight.
I mean, I did if for a good while and it doesn't look like I set myself up to fail (at least I hope I'm not failing)0 -
I think you need to mind your own business.
I lost a lot of weight at a severe calorie deficit years ago. It did not spark off binging behavior, and I felt great. I had a lot of fat to lose, was VERY active, and my body cut into a ton of fat to make up the difference. Kept it off for years.
The man lost the weight. Good for him. Just because you feel you might not function during a sever deficit doesn't mean that applies to all people. I actually have functioned quite will with both large caloric deficits and in the midst of extended religious fasts. I have always been a person who functioned very well in fasted states and with lots of time between meals. I actually loathe the way I feel with constant eating, so my meals are timed in a way to allow me to function the way that feels best for me.
This is a tough journey for everyone. Most gain back the weight regardless of how they lost it. I've seen "slow and steady" loser gain back all their weight, and then some, and I've seen quick losers keep it off for years, and vice versa. There are ZERO guarantees no matter how you stripped it off, and how long it took you. If some know-it-all came up to me , having lost the same amount of weight I did at 3x times rate, offering unsolicited advice I'd laugh my behind clean off and tell them to mind their own damn business.0 -
Agree with the above. It's not that unreasonable. If he had said he lost it all by eating nothing but celery, cayenne pepper and beef jerky, I might have said something.0
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Agree with the above. It's not that unreasonable. If he had said he lost it all by eating nothing but celery, cayenne pepper and beef jerky, I might have said something.
What kind of beef jerky?0 -
@Iwishyouwell
I appreciate your reply. I DID mind my own business hence the reason I didn't say anything further
Appreciate everyone's input too cheers!0 -
If he ask for advice or said he felt like crap I might have suggested a different diet plan but since you say you don't know him well and he didn't ask for advice it was probably better to keep it to yourself.
This. It's his body and his life, and unsolicited advice would be read as jealousy.0 -
Agree with the above. It's not that unreasonable. If he had said he lost it all by eating nothing but celery, cayenne pepper and beef jerky, I might have said something.
What kind of beef jerky?
Thank you, I thought I was opening someone up for a really funny joke here!
I might have said "sounds good, as long as you aren't eating celery after 6pm"...0 -
Sounds low to me, based of the info you were given. Did he have his hair? However, you did the right thing. As you can read in the forums someone eating way too low will get defensive in minute. Damaging0
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I think you did the right thing. For all you know, he did this under a doctor's or nutritionist's care. I think that VLC diets have their place, and someone who is severely obese can definitely benefit from that sort of eating short term. Now, if a close friend of mine tells me he or she is going on a VLC diet to lose 8-10lbs, then I'm going to say something. But for an acquaintance you aren't that close with, whose history and journey you know nothing about really, simple congratulations is the best course of action.0
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I think I'm severely limiting my calorie intake so I can understand both sides. Just congratulate him and move on. He obviously felt the drastic measures were needed. It's certainly not sustainable long term but just wish him the best and move on.0
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I feel like that is not a reasonable amount to lose in that time frame. Sounds like he's setting himself up to 'fall off the wagon' and start over eating. That's what happened to me last year. I lost 45 pounds and then gave in to the junk food and gained back 20.
This to has happened to me as well. Its the reason fad diets and pills do not work. I like the idea now that, it took a lot longer to put that weight on it should take a long time to get it off. Its fat, not oil. Its not suppose to slip off. You are far better off than he. YOU keep working at it the right way.0 -
I lost 55lbs last year.through a lot of exercise, and eating well. I probably only ate 1500 calories a day. I have gained almost 30lbs back, but I knew I was over eating. Pizza Casserole, ice cream, cookies. I moved in with my girlfriend basically, and gained a bunch of weight. I know what I did. I saw what I was doing. I lost a couple holes in my new belt (needed the new one because the old one was huge, and a mess with DIY holes.) I am back on the horse. I am down 15lbs over the last two months, but have started counting calories, carbs, and exercising again. This time it's for real.
If you are concerned about your buddy you need to tell him. Then again that's what I would want, but I have really thick skin and can take criticism. Noone said anything to me when I started putting weight back on until the guy who let me borrow his Insanity videos ran into me, and told me so. Yeah wake up call. I wish someone had said when it looked like I put 5 or 10 back on, "Hey dude you're getting fat again."
All that and I ordered a new jacket near the end of last winter, and now I look like the stay puft marshmellow man in it with it zipped up. Can't have that.0 -
Sounds like you did the right thing.
If you see him again in a year or so and he's back to his starting weight whereas you've kept the weight off, then you can point out where he went wrong and give him some helpful advice.0 -
I've got thick skin too but I know not everyone has so its probably better to have not said anything!0
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Sounds like you did the right thing.
If you see him again in a year or so and he's back to his starting weight whereas you've kept the weight off, then you can point out where he went wrong and give him some helpful advice.
Well right now it'd appear he's on 1200 a day at around 240lb. I don't think anyone would say that's enough? Surely?
Everyone's different we know that but once he starts upping I don't see how he can maintain I think he'll put it back on. Maybe I'm wrong but ill have to wait and see.0 -
I feel like that is not a reasonable amount to lose in that time frame. Sounds like he's setting himself up to 'fall off the wagon' and start over eating. That's what happened to me last year. I lost 45 pounds and then gave in to the junk food and gained back 20.
This to has happened to me as well. Its the reason fad diets and pills do not work. I like the idea now that, it took a lot longer to put that weight on it should take a long time to get it off. Its fat, not oil. Its not suppose to slip off. You are far better off than he. YOU keep working at it the right way.
You have absolutely no idea what is right for the man in question, or whether the OP is "far better off" than he is.
These are platitudes slow weight losers repeat over and over again in order to make themselves feel better. Fine, believe whatever it is that you need to keep you on the journey. But you have absolutely no idea what's going to happen with this man, and shock of all shocks, some fast losers do keep the weight off while plenty of slow losers gain the weight back fast.
It takes all kinds.0 -
I feel like that is not a reasonable amount to lose in that time frame. Sounds like he's setting himself up to 'fall off the wagon' and start over eating. That's what happened to me last year. I lost 45 pounds and then gave in to the junk food and gained back 20.
This to has happened to me as well. Its the reason fad diets and pills do not work. I like the idea now that, it took a lot longer to put that weight on it should take a long time to get it off. Its fat, not oil. Its not suppose to slip off. You are far better off than he. YOU keep working at it the right way.
You have absolutely no idea what is right for the man in question, or whether the OP is "far better off" than he is.
These are platitudes slow weight losers repeat over and over again in order to make themselves feel better. Fine, believe whatever it is that you need to keep you on the journey. But you have absolutely no idea what's going to happen with this man, and shock of all shocks, some fast losers do keep the weight off while plenty of slow losers gain the weight back fast.
It takes all kinds.
With statements like that, you're going to get your MFP card pulled.
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Nah, you did the right thing. Congratulate and move on. If he was a close friend then maybe bring up about the calories, but you don't wanna start sounding like a hater to someone who is telling you how great they are doing losing weight. Whatever they are doing is working for them, whether it works or not in the long run, who knows.0
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