I'm scared and alone. Help!

cristinarina
cristinarina Posts: 7 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi guys,

So I have been a non-active member of MFP for a while, but that wasn't exactly working out for me.

I've been trying to lose weight for a few months now and the furthest I've gotten has been 3 or 4 pounds, that just came right back on. I know I need to change what I'm doing, and I'm ready to start. One of my biggest problems is that I have no real life support. My boyfriend is great, but he insists that I dont need to lose weight (I'm 50 pounds overweight, guys) and always wants to go out to eat. My parents (whom I live with) keep junk food all over the house, and even though I buy healthy food, it's so hard to resist temptation. My dad makes very rude comments about my weight saying "are you really going to eat that? no one will find you attractive if you gain any more weight". I absolutely can't stand how unhealthy I am, which is why I'm trying but it's so hard when I feel alone in this. I'm hoping at least someone here will help me feel like I have support? I'm scared I'll only keep gaining weight and eventually become sick. I'm willing to be anyones support/someone to talk to if I can just get one person to help cheer me on.

Thanks guys :)

Replies

  • spoiledpuppies
    spoiledpuppies Posts: 675 Member
    Wow -- I'm sorry about your real-life lack of support. I think that makes a huge difference...but, MFP can help you! Build a friend network and rely on it for support. Feel free to send me a friend request.
  • mjrkearney
    mjrkearney Posts: 408 Member
    You are not alone. This may not be the best support network in the world, and only you can decide what to put into your body, but there are plenty of people on here who will cheer you on and berate you when you need it.
  • Chante_Loves_Life
    Chante_Loves_Life Posts: 40 Member
    You are not alone. This may not be the best support network in the world, and only you can decide what to put into your body, but there are plenty of people on here who will cheer you on and berate you when you need it.


    Agreed I love this app and all of the support I receive and give. Add me :)
  • CardiacNP
    CardiacNP Posts: 554 Member
    hang in there. do what YOU want and what is best for YOU!!
    You are a result of your choices.... choose the right choice 80% of the time and the results will follow!!!
    We are here for you
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    So very sorry:(. You are not alone!!!!!
  • Iggy1992
    Iggy1992 Posts: 29 Member
    Hey doll,

    Feel free to add me a friend on here!

    I also need support, and i've had to nag my fiance into saying well done when i loose weight...so i feel ya there !!!

    It not cool that you don't have the right kind of support from your family and I hope this changes.

    Keep up the good work and i'm sure you will notice a difference.

    REMEMBER, we are changing our LIVES here, not just our bodies, but the way we think too!
  • Adrianachiarato
    Adrianachiarato Posts: 362 Member
    You can do it if you really want to. I live with 3 kids/teens. I not only have them around 24/7 but also cook for them. No husband, no bf, no family around. Just set your mind toward your goal. YOU CAN DO IT!
  • scottkjar
    scottkjar Posts: 346 Member
    In addition to posting on the Forums and gaining MFP friends, you might also look at the Groups section and see if there is an MFP Members Group in your city. You might be able to tap into activities, workouts, and meals with other MFP people in your area. Do a search on members in your area and see who might be good contacts for you locally.
  • tstawicki
    tstawicki Posts: 61 Member
    My story has some similarity to yours only my mom who is heavy used to tell me that boys only like skinny girls and that is so untrue! Any way I would be glad to help you get started and rock you out of that jam you are in, I am sending you a friend request!
  • Sugarhiccup03
    Sugarhiccup03 Posts: 88 Member
    You're not alone! There is do much support on this site! Don't worry about anything negative people have I say you got this! Sending you a friend request :).
  • Monkeyrhea
    Monkeyrhea Posts: 39 Member
    Feel free to add me! While I do have the support of my husband, he just doesn't know what it is like to be in the position we are in. He can pretty much eat whatever he wants without gaining an ounce. I'm looking for all of the support I can get as well :)
  • cristinarina
    cristinarina Posts: 7 Member
    awesome suggestion, didnt even think about that! thanks!
  • cristinarina
    cristinarina Posts: 7 Member
    Thanks so much, guys :) Already you have said/done more than anyone else I know. And thanks to everyone that friended me. I REALLY want this, my hunger for health has definitely overpowered my hunger for junk food many times, I just need that extra push!
  • Darcie45
    Darcie45 Posts: 52 Member
    You can do this! I am sorry that your at home support system isn't there for you. My hubby never really said anything about my weight ....until I lost 20 pounds and then he noticed and was worried that i was sick cause I lost it so fast (a little over 2 months, not fast, he was just slow). Now he complements me and goes on walks with me. Hopefully your boyfriend will get a clue too! I will send you a friend request. I log in every day and try to be good about giving encouragement. It really does help to read the happy hopeful encouraging things my MFP friends say to me!
  • tuckerrj
    tuckerrj Posts: 1,453 Member
    Just remember that you're a beautiful and valuable human being, no matter what the scale reads. Your self worth is not dependent on the size of your waistline. True, you should want to be healthy and attain a weight that is appropriate for your height. Please don't let others determine how you feel about yourself. Let the folks on MFP join you in your efforts and support you.
  • benol1
    benol1 Posts: 867 Member
    Hi Christina

    I am sorry for the lack of support in your life. Hopefully, MFP will provide you with lots of people who will be there when you stumble and cheer you on with every success.
    The fact of the matter is, the vast majority of people here are probably doing their weight loss/health & wellbeing "thing" on their own with little or no support from family and friends. Keep in mind that the best place to get motivation, and the only sustainable form of motivation is the motivation you find within. MFP friends who cheer you on are great but you will have to do the hard work yourself. When it does get tough - remember to only concentrate on putting one foot in front of the other. Also, keep in mind that when your boyfriend says he loves you the way you are - he does, but he might also be trying to protect you from saying something he knows could hurt your feelings. So, don't take it to heart. As for your family - perhaps its time you moved out on your own.
    You are more than welcome to friend me, should you wish.
    kind regards,

    Ben
  • vaenillea
    vaenillea Posts: 7
    I've been in your shoes. My WHOLE family makes fun of me for being the only fat person in the family. I gained weight and became severely overweight since 7 years ago after I was hospitalized due to some deadly disease. Ever since I got dispatched from the hospital, my appetite becomes bigger and I've gained 66lbs from my normal weight of 121lbs. Most of my family members are lucky, they can eat as many fatty foods they wanted to and still maintaining their weight. But not me. My ex-boyfriend whom I was with for 5 years dumped me last year for a skinnier girl, and my self-esteem was extremely decreased due to that. I was depressed and always act so negatively, including eating loads of my comfort foods (junks, fast foods, you name it).

    I had no one supporting me, but ever since I uses MFP, I slowly becoming determined after reading posts from people who succeeded. In a way, they are supporting me from the motivational words they give in their posts. Now even though I have just started for a week, I have never felt so good in so many years. I am making eating healthy as my habit and circuit training as my daily exercise, just to feel healthier, better and more positive, instead on focusing on getting slim fast.

    My advice: do the baby steps first. Change slowly, eat the junk foods if you're still craving for them but not more than just one bite; just to kill the craving. Drink ENOUGH plain water. Too little or too much can kill you. Literally. Ignore what people says. Remember that they will never stop talking, but it's you the one who has the power to take their words as an encouragement or discouragement. Be positive. Never stop exercising. You can't run fast? You're not that flexible? To the heck with it. You don't have to do exercises perfectly; it's the non-stop efforts that counts. Just never stop. And keep in touch with everyone here. We are all here to support each other. Always keep motivated. :smile:
  • DoNotSpamMe73
    DoNotSpamMe73 Posts: 286 Member
    Figure out how much you want to lose per week. MFP isn't really a fan of more than a kilo. I'd suggest setting a low calorie intake, move around so fat storage's are used rather than muscle... The low calorie intake is because you will not gain or have any reason to freak if you go over. I have had the exact same problems, but with monitoring I've managed to start losing weight myself.

    Also you can eat pretty much anything, just measure the calories on how much. Wouldn't do cafes though, harder to measure and too high calorie for what is there in my opinion. For high calorie stuff like chocolate there is weight-watcher chocolate stuff to use instead, light ice-cream... so on.

    Don't think of it as diet. Restrict the amount not the food :D. Message me any time if you want someone to talk too.
  • DoNotSpamMe73
    DoNotSpamMe73 Posts: 286 Member
    Figure out how much you want to lose per week. MFP isn't really a fan of more than a kilo. I'd suggest setting a low calorie intake, move around so fat storage's are used rather than muscle... The low calorie intake is because you will not gain or have any reason to freak if you go over. I have had the exact same problems, but with monitoring I've managed to start losing weight myself.

    Also you can eat pretty much anything, just measure the calories on how much. Wouldn't do cafes though, harder to measure and too high calorie for what is there in my opinion. For high calorie stuff like chocolate there is weight-watcher chocolate stuff to use instead, light ice-cream... so on.

    Don't think of it as diet. Restrict the amount not the food :D. Message me any time if you want someone to talk too.

    oh and how much you know is the only real limit.
  • moriah_nelson
    moriah_nelson Posts: 1
    I've also struggled with weight my whole life. 4 months ago, I was 20lbs heavier. I am still working on becoming healthier and that's why I believe you can do it.
    KNOW Time is key. If you're dropping weight fast, I can assure you it will NOT stay off.
    REMEMBER this is for YOU not your boyfriend, friends or family. I admire you for seeking support. I don't want to sound harsh towards your family and friends but they're being jerks because they feel bad about their body or health and since you want to make a change they are insecure and annoyed that you want to be healthy so...SHAME ON THEM. Disregard what they say because it's not worth listening to. Tell them you want to live longer and have low payments on your medical bills.
    Start to workout, (a local gym maybe?) I know that being seen out of your comfort zone is probably the last thing you're looking for but you have to remember gyms are like teenagers in high school. Everyone is so caught up on their appearance they aren't looking for your faults & if they are, think of how kick *kitten* you'll look when you reach your goal.
    I know trainers are pricey, but if you want to develop skills to help you workout efficiently, it is worth your money. Don't give up.
    you should work on cardio for 30 minutes 5 days a week. Push yourself a bit more each time, at first you need to know your limit. when youre working out cardio, push ups,sit ups, and stretching are very important and basic- you should do your best to focus on them.
    Began to track your food. Eat plant based foods, (foods that aren't that processed). Most of all learn how to read FOOD LABELS. I never cared until I got a full understanding on what they really meant. There are a ton of youtube videos that'll help you understand it more. 3 things you need to limit are carbs (sugars), fat(any saturated fat means processed- try to avoid them), and salts (sodium). Also, it's okay to have something thats not good for you every once in a while as a treat but it's when it becomes a frequent thing it turns into a problem.
  • manda1978
    manda1978 Posts: 525 Member
    Happy to help support, motivate and let you know what works for me :)
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1080242-a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/1105036-article-on-flexible-dieting-by-armi-legge?page=1#posts-17068746
  • CharChary
    CharChary Posts: 220 Member
    You need to sit boyfriend down and explain to him that while you appreciate him liking you the way you are, YOU want to like you and that is going to require working on your lifestyle and making it a healthier one. Explain to him that his support is important. Help him understand.

    I am also doing this lifestyle alone. My suggestion? SPEND some time alone. It's okay. Drug addicts (not that its similar, but junk food SORT of is! eating unhealthy is addicting and what we're used to ) are told to spend time alone after rehab. Makes sense if you think about it. If a person who used to do certain behaviors around specific groups of people or whomever, they're going to be around old habits/old ways. What I did was spend a few weeks learning the new lifestyle and getting into a habit of it. I still saw my loved ones. Just ate, prepped my own meals and worked out alone. It was empowering! I got into the habit of it and although i was nervous to eat around my friends and boyfriend again, I did it! (I explained to them what I was trying to do) once my boyfriend saw the success I've had, he is slowly adopting my habits (hes one of those lucky guys that worked out in highschool and still look pretty good as a result despite not really doing so after..)
  • jadesdca
    jadesdca Posts: 17 Member
    I'm so sorry about your lack of support at home. The good news is your bf thinks your beautiful no matter how much you weigh, which is great (though not super motivating for the girl trying to lose weight). It's also tough when you don't have control over what you eat.

    Here is a trick I've found helpful for me: Fat Girl Friday! Be sure to celebrate the weekly "holiday" of Fat Girl Friday. Heck, embrace it! Whenever I tell people I can't have that chocolate cake today because it's not Fat Girl Friday, they always chuckle and don't press the issue. The point of Fat Girl Friday is that you are "good" all week and eat whatever you want with no guilt on Friday ONLY. I found that for me, it was easier to say "no" during the week when you know you CAN say yes on Friday. That way you're only eating that junk only one day a week instead of 7 (thus encouraging moderation). I also found that even on FGF, I don't go crazy with the junk either. I think this is because subconsciously, I don't want to derail my good habits/choices of the week and also, I'm getting acclimated to eating right and liking it. :)

    You need to find something that works for you. Hang in there - you can do it!! :)
  • sheltony
    sheltony Posts: 73 Member
    MMmmmm....you have a lot of weight on your shoulders that's keeping you from dealing with the weight you want to lose on the rest of your body. It's hard to break habits. You have to be wanting something worse than any junk food. My favorite saying lately is "If it's not hunger, food won't fix it". Try to imagine your ideal coming true. You've cared for yourself and taken super good care of yourself and life is working out well. People treat you with respect because you stand and walk and talk like someone who respects themself. Try to keep that picture in your mind. Use every sense to feel it, see it, hear it, even smell it. Then slowly make little changes in your habits. You usually reach for xxx and then feel bad afterwards. Make a decision to do something different when you start to reach (maybe make yourself leave the room and walk 100 steps. Count the steps.) AFTER you've distracted yourself and completed the activity you've given yourself, decide if you still want to do what you thought you did. Take a minute to be grateful for the change in your mind. Picture that new person who cares and respects herself. Oh yeah. Be happy with yourself for a minute. Savor that happiness. It happens one little step at a time.

    Friend me if you want. I've been on MFP since April or May and have made over 20 pounds in changes. It works. Wishing you great courage and great success in your efforts...Yvette

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