Tired and Annoyed

argburr · October 2010

Hey everyone, just looking for some helpful advice. I'm really fed up with my roommate. She is a college track runner, 400m hurtles, and she's genetically very thin. She is so thin in fact that people often ask me if she eats. I guess they think I would know since I live with her, and she does eat by the way. She eats like crap! She eats out 5 meals meal a week. Mexican take out, Chinese, double cheese burgers, Cheese steak from the best place in town... not cheap... then she complains about how much bills cost. Every time I see her eating that stuff It makes me want to eat it too, and I can't always resist. This is bad for my diet and my wallet... She's also always talking about being an athlete and every time she gets home from practice she complains about being sore and tired and talks about how hard it was. She either eats out or eats a bunch of whatever my boyfriend or I cooked for each other, which is healthy, we made enough so we'd have leftovers for lunches and we paid for the groceries... She always asks if it's ok (after she's gotten a plate) but we are too nice to say no. Then she plops down to watch TV or do homework (with the TV on) and doesn't do anything for the rest of the night. She doesn't wash her dishes, she just lets them sit for someone else to wash them as if my boyfriend and I are her housekeepers, because we don't have "college athlete" track practice, we clearly have nothing but free time to clean up after her. Also... when I get back from my runs (which I take her dog on, because she's too lazy too, and the dog goes crazy without exercise) she asks her dog, not me, how her "walk" was, as if I'm her dog walker (WE WENT RUNNING, NOT WALKING!!!)... I have been working on being healthy and in shape and thin my whole life, it's been hard, and it really gets to me when some one who has no idea what it feels like to struggle with weight and self image makes comments about how great of an "athlete" she is and how all I do is walk her dog... I exercise 5-6 days a week, which consequently more days than she has practice and her practices are only 30 minutes... they have them 4 days a week plus one independent day, which she often doesn't do because "she's too exhausted"

I Run outside 4 times a week at least 2 miles, plus a half hour walk each of those four days, usually totals about 50minutes. On the fifth day I go to the gym and do a 45-60 minute workout depending on how much energy I have. I also do abs and yoga most days. On the sixth day I usually go on a 30-60 minute walk with the dog and my boyfriend, and I always take Sundays off for a catch up on homework, cleaning and recoup... That's five to six days of 45+ minutes of cardio... that's pretty good right? It works for me because If I'm feeling tired I can go for 45, instead of an hour and still get a good workout, but if I'm feeling really energetic I can go all out and feel even better about myself, but as soon as I get home, my roommate is there with some snide comment that brings me off my endorphins and back to feeling crappy about myself.

I've also been eating a lot of fruits and veggies and drinking a lot of water, and eating low/non-fat dairy, lean meats and whole grain gluten free products (wheat intolerance

)... How can I motivate myself, stick with this, and keep my roommates comments and all around behavior from getting to me? Thanks for reading, Sorry that it's so long and ranty...:yawn:

nikki91950 · October 2010

bottom line, it sounds like you need to just stand your ground and stick up for yourself.

ajswriter · October 2010

You have to set up some boundaries. You are roommates and that doesn't automatically = friend, surrogate family, whatever. Your food is exactly that--yours. After you & your bf have had your fill, put it in a container with your name on it. Next time she just takes a plate and then asks, make it clear that even though you have shared in the past, you have limited funds & time to prepare food. Don't do her dishes, don't walk her dog. Keep her stuff separated from yours. All your obligation to her is keep up with your end of the bills & keep your areas & common areas clean (from any of YOUR stuff). If she junks up the sink & apt/house, ask her [nicely] to clean it up.

If you're dealing with the jealousy factor with the fact that she's a stick, you'll have to just focus on the fact that YOU are doing great & what YOU need to do. Her bad eating habits, etc, will catch up with her in some way eventually. Just be you & do what you're doing without regard for her or anyone else for that matter.

It can be super-frustrating to live with people, so good luck! Put up an imaginary tape line between you & stand up for yourself & your space/things.

gogospice · October 2010

I vote you punch her! haha just kidding! I had a couple friends like that. Turns out they had eating disorders! Who knew! I was so envious of how stick thin they were and how they could eat and eat and eat. They had issues that they eventually had to work through!

Either way... talk about frustrating! I hear ya, but just think of how good your workouts make you feel! And things that you have to work soooo hard for are usually worth it! So go get 'em girl! You can do this!

sarahsmom1 · October 2010

My daughter is an athlete she acts nothing like that so her behavior has nothing to do with that she is just a spoiled brat and you need to stop cleaning up after her if she leaves the dishes in the sink dirty just put them in her bed everything she does not clean up in her bed it goes or i would get another roomate

angelsxzist · October 2010

I would tell HER everything you just told us. (or let her read the post. Maybe she'll get the hint) Maybe she doesn't think you care that she behaves the way she does. If talking to her doesn't help, do you need her to be your roommate? If she keeps doing all the things you're saying, you are going to be miserable and one day, you're going to explode.

txswim24 · October 2010

Being an athlete doesn't give her the right to eat the way she does, or treat you that way either. One of the biggest things that an athlete needs to learn is how to eat right, which is she failing at. It'll catch up with her though, her training will fail her and she won't have the energy to compete well when the time comes.

Don't let her push you around. Honestly, her training schedule is nothing and she can make time to clean up after herself. I would try to set up some ground rules, especially when it comes to eating your food and cleaning up after herself. Its not your job and is just going to make you stressed out.

Stick to your own workout schedule and don't compare her workouts with yours. I'm a college swimmer and my coach always tell me to swim my own race and not the person next to you. Go at your own pace. You have an excellent work out already and I wouldn't change it.

Sparklewolfie · October 2010

I second putting your food away and not cleaning up after her. If she says she's too busy with practice, let her know that you are working out more than she is so you have even LESS time. Or suggest that she schedules in her cleaning time. Or you can do all the dishes, and she can do all the trash or something. I would still take the dog on runs because I would feel bad for the dog ^^; Or tell her that on the jog today, her dog said that he misses her and wishes that she would take him for a jog sometimes :bigsmile:

I don't know if you wanted to tell her that she is messing up her health by eating out like that? Or if you just mentioned it because it triggers you to eat out too. If you want to help her, you can try saying something like "even if you aren't gaining weight from eating out, it is still harming your health and when you're older you may start having health problems" just to see if she is open to suggestion. If not, oh well. You can be healthy yourself

argburr · October 2010

Thank you for all of your words of encouragement! t helps a lot! I'm going to try to focus on myself and compare myself only to myself... and if she gains a lot of weight and has health problems when she gets older then maybe she will understand

Tired and Annoyed

Replies

Categories