Just expressing my feelings of today
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Florameg456
Posts: 71 Member
Today I couldn't have been happier, I thought about how I was slowly overcoming my eating disorder and how I was feeling much happier and better about myself. And then my sister came in to my house and was shouting about how I 'dont eat' followed by calling me names such as a 'selfish cow' and 'stupid *****' I have lost every single inch of confidence that I had gained and the anger that was building up inside me eventually burst out and I sat and cried for at least half an hour. I don't know what to do with myself, I feel absolutely worthless..
It just shows that one negative comment from someone can ruin your progress and way of thinking, but I absolutely encourage everyone who is going through a hard time with their weight or lifestyle to hang on and it WILL eventually get better
It just shows that one negative comment from someone can ruin your progress and way of thinking, but I absolutely encourage everyone who is going through a hard time with their weight or lifestyle to hang on and it WILL eventually get better
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Replies
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tell her to F**K off.
Seriously.
Why does she care what you eat?
your sister sucks. Sorry. You're doing just fine. Keep pressing onward- sisters are like that- they are most often there to hit you where it hurts the most.
think of how much better you feel IN CONTROL of what's going on- don't give her that power to change your attitude. You own you- and rock today- it's Thursday- go kick some BUTT!!!!0 -
tell her to F**K off.
Seriously.
Why does she care what you eat?
your sister sucks. Sorry. You're doing just fine. Keep pressing onward- sisters are like that- they are most often there to hit you where it hurts the most.
think of how much better you feel IN CONTROL of what's going on- don't give her that power to change your attitude. You own you- and rock today- it's Thursday- go kick some BUTT!!!!
^^ this^^
Some people just can't help themselves and just have to put others down. Sounds like you are doing great, don't let someone else bring down your mood (easier said than done I know).
Chin up, big girly pants on and ignore her and carry on doing well, just like she hadn't said a word. On top of making you feel great again it's likely to seriously pee her off xx0 -
On top of making you feel great again it's likely to seriously pee her off xx
that would be reason enough for me to stay happy and motivated. LOL just to peeve her off. I get sick satisfaction out of that when I can control myself LOL0 -
Oh that is horrible. Remember you don't HAVE to let her in to your house or your life. Perhaps make it conditional on her behaviour - ie she either treats you respectfully or you pull away. You have the right to live free from this kind of abuse. She has no right to speak to you like that, you deserve so much better.
It's typical of toxic family members believe they're entitled to behave like this. They're not.0 -
You have to ignore the negativity. If you listen to everyone who has a negative thought you wouldn't accomplish anything. There is always somebody around the corner willing to pull you down. Walk by them with your head held high. You know what path you are on.0
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I do not understand why you would allow someone into your house to call you names??? Stand up and tell her it is your home and not to come back unless she speaks to you as an adult.0
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If your profile pic is any indication your sister was way left field! You're beautiful...keep up the good work!0
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I do not understand why you would allow someone into your house to call you names??? Stand up and tell her it is your home and not to come back unless she speaks to you as an adult.
I live with my mum, and I can't really deny her acess to the house, thank you I'll keep it in mind0 -
If your profile pic is any indication your sister was way left field! You're beautiful...keep up the good work!
Thank you Hun x0 -
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment, so please excuse me. I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't know you or your sister, or how well you have overcome your eating disorder, so take what I say with a huge pinch of salt...
...but is it possible that she - knowing you had a disorder - is afraid you have slipped back into your old ways? Maybe that was her way of expressing her concern? Are you really and truly eating healthily now? At an appropriate caloric intake for whatever exercise you do (modest deficit)? Even if you are doing everything right - does she understand that? She obviously doesn't live in that house with you full time, so she doesn't see you every day. Maybe she saw you picking at a small salad and thought that was all you'd had all day?
Or maybe she really is just the jelly *kitten* she sounds like, in which case I agree that "f@ck off" would be the appropriate response.0 -
I understand. Usually family members are the worst at making us feel bad. I am an emotional eater now just getting on track. I found that joining a support group helped and/or having someone to talk to that is not in your family. Sometimes you got to stand up for yourself and tell the family member how you feel so you won't give in to your disorder. Also distraction helps me like going outside and getting away from the people who upset me. Go on a nice walk until you feel better. Sometimes reading or whatever activity you find soothing can help release the anger.0
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Don't let her change your mood! There's a reason you felt so good about yourself, she's just jealous of your progress! Misery loves company. Let her call you fat... You can lose weight, but what is she going to do about her terrible personality... :drinker:0
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I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment, so please excuse me. I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't know you or your sister, or how well you have overcome your eating disorder, so take what I say with a huge pinch of salt...
...but is it possible that she - knowing you had a disorder - is afraid you have slipped back into your old ways? Maybe that was her way of expressing her concern? Are you really and truly eating healthily now? At an appropriate caloric intake for whatever exercise you do (modest deficit)? Even if you are doing everything right - does she understand that? She obviously doesn't live in that house with you full time, so she doesn't see you every day. Maybe she saw you picking at a small salad and thought that was all you'd had all day?
Or maybe she really is just the jelly *kitten* she sounds like, in which case I agree that "f@ck off" would be the appropriate response.
I've come from eating as much as nothing on some days, I tend to fall on maybe 900 upwards now. I eat. I sit down to as many meals as I can fit in and it's never salad or anything with close to no calories, she probably doesn't like the fact that I get a significant amount of attention from my mum because I really do need it, but I've had enough of her and I've gathered if I just don't stoop to her level she will maybe see that she is the one in the wrong, and yes I'd say she's the jelly ***** haha!!!0 -
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment, so please excuse me. I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't know you or your sister, or how well you have overcome your eating disorder, so take what I say with a huge pinch of salt...
...but is it possible that she - knowing you had a disorder - is afraid you have slipped back into your old ways? Maybe that was her way of expressing her concern? Are you really and truly eating healthily now? At an appropriate caloric intake for whatever exercise you do (modest deficit)? Even if you are doing everything right - does she understand that? She obviously doesn't live in that house with you full time, so she doesn't see you every day. Maybe she saw you picking at a small salad and thought that was all you'd had all day?
Or maybe she really is just the jelly *kitten* she sounds like, in which case I agree that "f@ck off" would be the appropriate response.
I've come from eating as much as nothing on some days, I tend to fall on maybe 900 upwards now. I eat. I sit down to as many meals as I can fit in and it's never salad or anything with close to no calories, she probably doesn't like the fact that I get a significant amount of attention from my mum because I really do need it, but I've had enough of her and I've gathered if I just don't stoop to her level she will maybe see that she is the one in the wrong, and yes I'd say she's the jelly ***** haha!!!
Sounds like you are on the right track then. Keep up the good work!0 -
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment, so please excuse me. I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't know you or your sister, or how well you have overcome your eating disorder, so take what I say with a huge pinch of salt...
...but is it possible that she - knowing you had a disorder - is afraid you have slipped back into your old ways? Maybe that was her way of expressing her concern? Are you really and truly eating healthily now? At an appropriate caloric intake for whatever exercise you do (modest deficit)? Even if you are doing everything right - does she understand that? She obviously doesn't live in that house with you full time, so she doesn't see you every day. Maybe she saw you picking at a small salad and thought that was all you'd had all day?
Or maybe she really is just the jelly *kitten* she sounds like, in which case I agree that "f@ck off" would be the appropriate response.
I've come from eating as much as nothing on some days, I tend to fall on maybe 900 upwards now. I eat. I sit down to as many meals as I can fit in and it's never salad or anything with close to no calories, she probably doesn't like the fact that I get a significant amount of attention from my mum because I really do need it, but I've had enough of her and I've gathered if I just don't stoop to her level she will maybe see that she is the one in the wrong, and yes I'd say she's the jelly ***** haha!!!
Well first things first, she has no right to talk to you like that regardless. If there is a problem, her hostility isn't helpful and if there isn't a problem, her hostility STILL isn't helpful.
I looked at your profile and saw your goal as fitting into a size 8 so I saw that as a good sign (as opposed to your goal being a size 0), but then I read your last comment that you are eating 900 calories. That is not enough! I'm not saying you have an eating disorder as it sounds like you recognize that you used to have one and don't want to have one again, but 900 calories is not enough.
You need to ignore your sister as best as you can. Her attitude isn't going to help you reach your goals. Please do a search on InPlaceOfARoadMap by Helloitsdan and do some calculations. I am sure you will find your calorie goal much higher than 900 and you will still lose weight. You don't have a lot to lose, so have some patience. Patience is the most important thing I had to learn.
Good luck!0 -
I can't really add anything - it sounds like you're doing the right thing that your Mum is supporting you - Mums are great like that, siblings not to much, especially at your age. I think you did a sensible thing to vent on here, there seem to be some nice people here who are happy to listen and support you.
I hope you're back to smiling like in your profile photo soon. good luck0 -
I'm going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment, so please excuse me. I don't mean this in a negative way. I don't know you or your sister, or how well you have overcome your eating disorder, so take what I say with a huge pinch of salt...
...but is it possible that she - knowing you had a disorder - is afraid you have slipped back into your old ways? Maybe that was her way of expressing her concern? Are you really and truly eating healthily now? At an appropriate caloric intake for whatever exercise you do (modest deficit)? Even if you are doing everything right - does she understand that? She obviously doesn't live in that house with you full time, so she doesn't see you every day. Maybe she saw you picking at a small salad and thought that was all you'd had all day?
Or maybe she really is just the jelly *kitten* she sounds like, in which case I agree that "f@ck off" would be the appropriate response.
I've come from eating as much as nothing on some days, I tend to fall on maybe 900 upwards now. I eat. I sit down to as many meals as I can fit in and it's never salad or anything with close to no calories, she probably doesn't like the fact that I get a significant amount of attention from my mum because I really do need it, but I've had enough of her and I've gathered if I just don't stoop to her level she will maybe see that she is the one in the wrong, and yes I'd say she's the jelly ***** haha!!!
Well first things first, she has no right to talk to you like that regardless. If there is a problem, her hostility isn't helpful and if there isn't a problem, her hostility STILL isn't helpful.
I looked at your profile and saw your goal as fitting into a size 8 so I saw that as a good sign (as opposed to your goal being a size 0), but then I read your last comment that you are eating 900 calories. That is not enough! I'm not saying you have an eating disorder as it sounds like you recognize that you used to have one and don't want to have one again, but 900 calories is not enough.
You need to ignore your sister as best as you can. Her attitude isn't going to help you reach your goals. Please do a search on InPlaceOfARoadMap by Helloitsdan and do some calculations. I am sure you will find your calorie goal much higher than 900 and you will still lose weight. You don't have a lot to lose, so have some patience. Patience is the most important thing I had to learn.
Good luck!
Thank you! I'm working my way up to 1400 and hopefully I can stay there whilst my body recovers and then I might raise to a higher amount x0 -
Thank you! I'm working my way up to 1400 and hopefully I can stay there whilst my body recovers and then I might raise to a higher amount x
You sound like you have the right attitude and a good head on your shoulders! And MFPers are great when you need support and a boost!0 -
Oh Ok, if you live with mom then that is different. You need to tell her that adults do not talk to each other that way, especially sisters. And your pic shows she may be blind because you appear to be a gorgeous young woman. Do not allow her to cause negative feelings about yourself. If that does not work, do some arm weight training and then knock her on her *kitten* next time she does that...I kid.0
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Almost went through the same odeal with my brother. Lost 5ish pounds since I started and instead of supportive he still calls me fat, (fatter than everything else), everyday. It's annoying and hard to know people around you don't support you (That could've came out better). But thats what MFP is here for.
"I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference." - Robert Frost.
We chose to better our lifes, some that still can't see that but we do. We just have to keep pushing through. No one said this would be easy. Take care.
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