The painful, painful memories- lets help each other

NatalieBrooke88 · October 2010

Painful memories from when I was at my peak weight have really been weighing on me. After I started at Georgia Tech is when I quickly put on the 30 pounds. Sure, people talked, and my mom gave me terrible grief, but there is one memory that is especially painful. My friends and I hung out with a group of Sigma Chis. I had considered myself friends with them, but apparently they noticed this extra weight and decided to be especially cruel. One evening when we were all hanging out I came across the freshman Sigma pledge facebook page that was supposed to be "private". Freddy, a 5'3", and especially vicious fraternity boy had decided to give me the moniker "Donkey Kong" and was eliciting others to call me it as well. Honestly, this brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Everytime I see that littler jerk, I would like to slap him.. however, I will continue to choose to be the bigger person- After all, what goes around DOES come around.

There have been many instances in my life, especially when I was overweight, that my parents, friends, or strangers have literally cut me to the core with their remarks. Have any of you had similar experiences? I really believe sharing with others is therapy in itself.

Being kind and working hard will get you far in life, and this is what I believe with all my core.

Skinnyme87 · October 2010

I know exactly how hurtful that can be. I put on alot of my extra weight after a car accident. I can no longer run because of it and that use to be my main stress outlet and exercise routine. Anyways I got married recently and a old friend whom I havent talked to in ages seen some of the pictures on facebook. This friend texted my best friend who was the Maid of honor and told her that she looked well but that I sure turned out to be a fat a** cow! This hurt soooo bad I knew I have gained weight since the car accident since I am not as mobile but for it to be pointed out to me like that realllyyyyy hurt bad. It still hurts now. I can totally relate to how hurtful it can be.

UT_Nut7 · October 2010

Big boobed monster comes to mind. I got the label in middle school and it stuck for many, many years later. It wasnt just because I was well-endowed in the chest area, I was big all over. Ah, also, when I was in fifth grade and we did our annual physical test. Everyone was weighed in front of eachother. Needless to say, my 115lbs at age 11 was great fodder for the other fifth graders. Oh, also the time when I was helping a friend babysit and the little 10 year-old boy told me I couldnt sit on the pool raft because I would pop it because I was so fat. Yeah, that was fun.

Most of this happened to me many years ago, but it's stuff like that that sticks in your memory. I may have been overweight, but those types of comments spark my major issues with my body image. I've been everything from a 0 to a 12 in my adult life (which hasnt been that long). I always wonder if I wasnt harrassed like that as a child and into my teen years, would I have the issues I have now with food and my weight? It's very sad.

superwmn · October 2010

Put your arms around that girl, the 'you' from your past who's pain is still so raw. Tell her how much you love her. Give her the comfort she needed but did not receive when she were cut down by the cruelty of others.

They can't hurt you now. No one can hurt you today, right now, in this moment. You are strong, powerful, and protected. You are safe.

You can heal. I have.

Charmagne

anu_6986 · October 2010

I am not sure this is the same. But when I joined my current company 4 years ago this thing happened. My name is Anupama and in short people call me Anu. There was this other girl whose name also in short becomes Anu. Now she was just saying to our then team lead and now manager and a few other guys what they would be calling us as there are two Anu's in the team now. My team lead's pat reply was that I would be the fat Anu and she the thin one.

Another incident, the same female's husband also works in the same company. So one time we had this event at work and there was cake for all the emp. People were standing in a queue which extended through the access doors. So she and her husband were standing in the line too and I was behind them. Now I didn't want the cake, but just was waiting to get in to go to my desk. Now this guy throws in a comment "Hey you must want a large piece of the cake, a small one might not be enough for you".

Just what can you say to such arrogant j*rks! As you said, I just hope it comes around.

I believe the best answer to such people is that we reduce, that itself would be a slap on the face! Good luck, :flowerforyou:

myricksmom · October 2010

It was a painful experience that finally spurred me into action. My 95 year old aunt died in July. Instead of merely grieving I was also scared to go to the funeral. There were relatives that I had not seen since I was a teenager (I am 45 now) and I was 150 lbs thinner back then. There are two family members in particular that I did not want to face. I also felt guilty that instead of focusing on my aunt I was focusing on myself.

At the wake the ladies approached me. They did not try to hide their dismay. "WOW - If I had not heard someone say your name I NEVER would have known it was you." I just smiled and said hi. "You have changed SOOOOO Much." I was dying inside and wanted to run. Imagine that...I am 45 years old and wanted to just run. I said "well what can I say, we all have our burden to carry." The other woman piped up "Sure..but some are much bigger than others" - They then went on to tell me that if my MS medication had such severe side effects I should talk to my doc. Obviously someone had been sharing my health issues with them. I infomred them that I do not take meds for my MS. All in all it was probably a five minute conversation but it seemed to go on forever. I hate that I allowed someone to make me feel that way. Maybe when I have reached my goal I should send them a thank you as they contributed to the changes that I am making.. (-;

nhendri · October 2010

Sitting in a bar with some friends I had a women aproach me and tell me that I was very beautifull and that if I lost weight people would be able to see it. I wanted to punch her in the face. She continued to tell me that if I didnt eat fast food and would only eat one meal a day it would help. I was so frustrate seeing how two years I was 215 and I am currently 283.

NatalieBrooke88 · October 2010

Wow, it seems like plenty of us know how it feels to be hurt so terribly by simple words. I am so sorry you all had to experient that, but I hope it gives you that extra drive every single day. I laughed at the idea of sending a thank you note, because its true- his unkind words helped me become what I am. I pray that I never hurt anyone so terribly. Be kind to everyone- always!... That is what will get you far in life.

ivyjbres · October 2010

No one's brave enough to tell me stuff like that, and I'm probably harder on myself. But my sister gets it a lot. She has lupus and her weight is up and down because of the prednisone and other meds. She was overweight growing up, and lost most of her friends when she lost weight. When she was diagnosed and gained weight, she lost all the friends she'd made since loosing weight, and all the guys interested in dating disappeared too. So she'd make new friends, loose weight, and loose friends again; and make new friends and gain weight, and loose friends again. I think she's really only kept 2 friends through the past 10 years.

ivyjbres · October 2010

dp sry

LotusF1ower · October 2010

Painful memories from when I was at my peak weight have really been weighing on me. After I started at Georgia Tech is when I quickly put on the 30 pounds. Sure, people talked, and my mom gave me terrible grief, but there is one memory that is especially painful. My friends and I hung out with a group of Sigma Chis. I had considered myself friends with them, but apparently they noticed this extra weight and decided to be especially cruel. One evening when we were all hanging out I came across the freshman Sigma pledge facebook page that was supposed to be "private". Freddy, a 5'3", and especially vicious fraternity boy had decided to give me the moniker "Donkey Kong" and was eliciting others to call me it as well. Honestly, this brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it. Everytime I see that littler jerk, I would like to slap him.. however, I will continue to choose to be the bigger person- After all, what goes around DOES come around.

There have been many instances in my life, especially when I was overweight, that my parents, friends, or strangers have literally cut me to the core with their remarks. Have any of you had similar experiences? I really believe sharing with others is therapy in itself.

Being kind and working hard will get you far in life, and this is what I believe with all my core.

What goes around, comes around - never a truer statement said!! If there is one thing we can damn well rely on in this world it is that statement - albeit, things may not always come back as we "sent" them, but we are always paid/or pay back in full.

Regarding hurtful statements, I have been asked before if I was pregnant. Then again, that isn't uncommon. The one that really sticks in my mind however, was when I was a lot bigger, I have been thought of as a bloke as I had short hair and the physique of a male from the back. That was nasty :frown:

I am happy to say that I am never mistaken for a bloke now, in fact, if anybody did, I would punch their lights out and finish me pint!

Bigpelly8 · October 2010

Im 32 yrs old now, and I've been the"fat kid" since second grade. As we all know, kids are cruel and say mean and nasty things. The worst thing I was ever told however, was from my aunt. I was 14, she was drinking, looked me shaking her head and asked me why I was so damn fat. That felt great....Telling her to stick it you know where when I'm in shape will be a great reward!

VeryKerri · October 2010

I too have been overweight almost all my life. When I was in high school, a sophomore, there was a boy and a girl that were in my first class and last class of the day. They would belittle me endlessly about how I was too fat to sit on the toilet or so fat that when I took a bath all the water would overflow from the tub. They were sooo cruel to me and I had little to no self esteem so I just sat there and took it. The teachers looked the other way and never said a word. The two would always chant at me and get others in the classes to say the same things. It was horrible. I contemplated suicide at the time, but I thankfully never did it. Eventually my parents got involved and came to the school to talk to my counselors. Guess what? They told me to go on a diet!!!

Eventually it all got worked out and things were over, but I never got over that. I don't know that I ever will. It took me another 16 years and 110 pounds of weight to finally decide that I was done being the fat girl. I have lost 65 pounds in 6 months and I know I have a long way to go. I will get there because I am ready. I have no idea what happened to those kids or how their lives turned out. I know how I want mine to turn out though. I wonder if I will ever be able to forget those times and not feel so bad?

elainegsd · October 2010

My painful memory is kind of the reverse of some of yours. My 95-year-old aunt, deep into Alzheimers, keeps saying "Have you lost weight? You are getting almost pretty!" I try to keep reminding myself that it is the Alzheimers hijacking the brain-to-mouth filter, but it is still hard to hear from someone who has consistently told me that I was beautiful no matter what my weight was. So I guess she was lying all those years?

The painful, painful memories- lets help each other

Replies

Categories