Torn...

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toots99
toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
in Food and Nutrition
Yesterday I went to babysit my nieces and nephew, aged 3 - 9. I cringe when I see them eat! It kills me! Yesterday for dinner, my 9 year old niece had two bowls of corn pops for dinner. Dinner! That was after eating candy, and a cup of chocolate pudding. The other two kids had a slice of pizza. I said "Well, your dinner was your dessert since you had cereal." It became an ordeal. My 4 year old neice wanted three cookies with WHIPPED CREAM on them for dessert! I said no, you can have one cookie, no whipped cream. THAT became an ordeal. I sort of won and let her have one cookie with a little bit of whipped cream. That's what they all had for dessert. I tried to explain to the 9 year old that I just want them to be healthy so they don't have to go to the gym every day like I do. (She knows I try to be healthy.)

THEN...their parents came home not 30 minutes later, and their dad let them have the same dessert again with much more whipped cream, and gave the littlest one a waffle!

I can't believe their parents let them eat like that! Oh my goodness, I was cringing! When I tried to say something to him, he's like "What? They're fine. They're skinny kids!" I shot back "Yeah, so was I!" He's right, they do look perfectly healthy and normal. But so did I.

So I feel torn when I watch them...do I shut up and mind my own business? Or do I speak up? I don't want to say the wrong thing to the kids, especially the impressionable pre-teen girl and have a negative effect.

Replies

  • championnfl
    championnfl Posts: 324 Member
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    Can't fight city hall! You TRIED, now just lead by example [role model].... Try to sit down with the mother and explain the situation with pictures and facts. [hit her emotional button] They either will try or just to busy to care and kids can suffer later in life.[school]
    Thank You for the effort!!!!:sad:
  • ZebraHead
    ZebraHead Posts: 15,207 Member
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    Continue to lead by example. You can't 'force' anything in this situation.
  • anu_6986
    anu_6986 Posts: 702 Member
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    Unfortunately there is nothing you can do, unless their parents realize it. Sorry to say this, but thats the truth.
  • superhippiechik
    superhippiechik Posts: 1,044 Member
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    Please don't judge me, but if someone told me how to feed my kids I wold not take it so well. I would just let your family see how great you look and be an example. Maybe casualy bring up how hardit has been for you and how you wish you had started earlier.
    Good luck,Doll! My sister lets her 10 month old eat cheeseburger and hamburger helper and then asks why he is so fat.
  • gambitsgurl
    gambitsgurl Posts: 632 Member
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    One thought is, do they eat like that normally? My kids eat healthy and my husband and I don't go out often so when we have a sitter it's sort of "whatever keeps them from tying you up and drawing on your face in marker".
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
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    it's up to their parents to set the right course for them, but I agree lead by example... You will known later as the healthy aunty. Hey, I used to smoke, not just tobacco, wolf down a bag of popcorn for dinner and oreo's for dessert, go to the corner store for one of those nukeable italian subs.. I was all of 115 pounds soaking wet. (Then my mid 30's happened :grumble: )
  • raindancer
    raindancer Posts: 993 Member
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    My granson ate the same way. He has lived with his maternal grandparents since he was 5 and they have let him eat that way. I don't want him to hate to come to our house so we kind of compromise...some. I don't force him to eat anything he doesn't like but at the same time will not let him eat too many sweets. He is 14 now and I am always talking to him about better food choices.
    Hopefully it will help someday.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    Please don't judge me, but if someone told me how to feed my kids I wold not take it so well. I would just let your family see how great you look and be an example. Maybe casualy bring up how hardit has been for you and how you wish you had started earlier.
    Good luck,Doll! My sister lets her 10 month old eat cheeseburger and hamburger helper and then asks why he is so fat.

    That's the thing...they know how hard it's been for me (I lived with them for months and they saw me get up and work my *kitten* off and eat right) and we talk about being healthy. I guess it's just too much of an easy habit by now. To suddenly switch to eating veggies and enforcing some rules would be too hard. And their dad is a big guy, it's not like he's a skinny guy! He knows how tough it is.

    *sigh* I guess it's really not my business, and I can just lead by example, like you guys suggested. It's just really hard to watch them gorge themselves on sugar like I did as a kid.
  • thelgeson
    thelgeson Posts: 17
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    Didn't you say you were babysitting when they were eating the corn pops, cookies, etc before their parents came home 30 minutes later?
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    One thought is, do they eat like that normally? My kids eat healthy and my husband and I don't go out often so when we have a sitter it's sort of "whatever keeps them from tying you up and drawing on your face in marker".

    Yes, they eat like that I'd say 90% of the time. Usually it's pasta with butter that they eat...chicken nuggets, etc.

    I lived with them for a few months so I saw how they ate all the time.
  • sbilyeu75
    sbilyeu75 Posts: 567 Member
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    I would buy the book "Healthiest Kid in the Neighborhood" and send it anonymously. I actually bought it myself, and learned a lot from it.
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    Didn't you say you were babysitting when they were eating the corn pops, cookies, etc before their parents came home 30 minutes later?

    Yes. Before their parents left, two of the kids had chocolate pudding and candy. Then. a few hours later was "dinner", where they were told they could have whatever they wanted. Then, they came home and were allowed another dessert.
  • cardbucfan
    cardbucfan Posts: 10,427 Member
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    One thought is, do they eat like that normally? My kids eat healthy and my husband and I don't go out often so when we have a sitter it's sort of "whatever keeps them from tying you up and drawing on your face in marker".

    OMG, that is so us! Our problem is we are now out of the sitter phase and with 2 teenage boys, they eat everything that isn't nailed down when we are gone-especially if it is a treat thing like ice cream.
  • mmtiernan
    mmtiernan Posts: 702 Member
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    Maybe you can engage the kids instead. Find a healthy recipe and enlist their help in preparing it. Then as you work, you can talk to them about each food and why it is good for them. Even call the food fun names - xray carrots because they are good for your eye sight, pumped up chicken because the protein is good for building their muscles, etc. I dont' know how often you are there, but maybe you could make it a weekly event - cooking with Auntie! Kids are usually up for anything as long as it is fun - not a chore - and they are able to be fully involved. Once they make it, they'll want to eat it! Try for a healthy pizza recipe and meet them halfway! Be the fun and fit Auntie! :)
  • dj_stevie_c
    dj_stevie_c Posts: 270
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    Make it fun, tell them they can have their desert if they run up and down the garden or walk up/down the stairs 5 times :)
  • NeuroticVirgo
    NeuroticVirgo Posts: 3,671 Member
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    Well, you can't really do anything, since your the aunt, and not the mom. But I think if your babysitting, then you should have say, and that night they can eat what you make, and live with one cookie for desert.

    My daughter eats healthy, probably 90% of the time (she's actually picked apples instead of fries as her side when we eat out...that was a happy moment for me), but still complains about what she "HAS" to eat at home, we have a water cooler. I have the small Gatorades for her lunches, we don't have any soda in the house, so your only option is water...or crystal light if we happen to make some.

    But when she goes to grandmas (who babysits while we work on weekends sometimes)...its like a free for all. I've mentioned things to her grandma, like please don't give my 8 year old 5 cans of soda in a day!!! or when we went to pick her up, we were visiting, and she ate pudding, then a lunchable, then like 5 cookies. And that was in an hour...I don't even dare imagine what she probably ate all weekend. In my head, I know I should say something, but then it makes everything awkward between us and grandma...who says things just like your nephews dad..."Oh she's a skinny kid, its not going to hurt". And since we can't exactly afford a babysitter, I'm hoping that since she's with us most of the time, that kind of eating won't stick...

    I guess we'll see...huh
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    Maybe you can engage the kids instead. Find a healthy recipe and enlist their help in preparing it. Then as you work, you can talk to them about each food and why it is good for them. Even call the food fun names - xray carrots because they are good for your eye sight, pumped up chicken because the protein is good for building their muscles, etc. I dont' know how often you are there, but maybe you could make it a weekly event - cooking with Auntie! Kids are usually up for anything as long as it is fun - not a chore - and they are able to be fully involved. Once they make it, they'll want to eat it! Try for a healthy pizza recipe and meet them halfway! Be the fun and fit Auntie! :)

    That could be a good idea...like when I know I'm babysitting again, talk to the kids before hand and see what they'd like to try to make. Usually they'll ask to bake brownies or cookies, but maybe we can make a healthy dinner instead, or a healthy dessert.

    At least they have a tiny idea about something good they should eat. When I tried to explain to them how the cereal for dinner is the same as eating dessert (nutrition-wise), my nephew was like "Well this cereal has fiber so I know it's good for me!" :laugh:

    Thanks! :flowerforyou:
  • toots99
    toots99 Posts: 3,794 Member
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    Make it fun, tell them they can have their desert if they run up and down the garden or walk up/down the stairs 5 times :)

    That's a good idea too. At least they did play at the park for an hour or so, and we had a hardcore game of tag...so hardcore that I had to take a break! :laugh:

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