Please Read .. Thanks " None of my familys support "

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Brandonalex15
Brandonalex15 Posts: 101 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
Please Just Read All Of It ... Thank You
lets be honest , im not 27 , im 20 . i have and overweight mom . an overweight dad and an eectomorph/realllyy skinny brother . i live with my mom right now which is sad , im a grown *kitten* man . she does not support my eating habits at all . she will buy junk . all the time.. i ask her not to but she's "mom" so she does whatever she wants to .. and tell me "you dont like it,move out". im 5'11 165 18% bf . supposed to consume 2200 calories . but im constantly eating around 4000 a day . im pretty sure i have an eating disorder (binge disorder) but she will tell me anyyyyyyy excuse to make it seem as if my eating is perfectly okay and refuses to believe i have an eating disorder . "your a growing boy, thats what growing boys do , they eat" .. "your just BIG BONED".. "you just like to eat" ect , ect . ect all because shes really overweight herself, so to her i look like a bodybuilder....
My dad supports me . but hes know NOTHING about fitness. and tells me that just 15 minutes on a bike burns 500 calories . I WISH .
My Brother is ectomorph and absolutley praiseees me for my weight and says "i wish i can be your size" .. "your buff dude" . but its just like noo man ... im fat , and your skinny.... ive been on this journey for 5 months now and iive seeen NO Weight loss . and it makes it even more emotional because none of my family supports me thru this and they all just think im the leaaaanest person in the world ... if you read all of this thank you..... tell me something to motivate me , please
YES, i posted this twice ..
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Replies

  • Hildy_J
    Hildy_J Posts: 1,050 Member
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    Hey,

    You're male, 165lb and 5ft 11? That puts you in the healthy BMI range at the moment... what's your goal weight? Perhaps buy your own food if you don't want to eat what your family has?

    All the best
  • FeelingLessChubby
    FeelingLessChubby Posts: 152 Member
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    You've been on this journey for 5 months and you've not had any weightloss? Open up your diary and let's see how we can help! But by the sounds of your mum's "support", the only journey you've been on has been the same one that got you here in the first place.

    As others said, you really do need to start buying your own food and eating less of what your mom buys and cooks. We don't know your situation, whether you have a job etc, but if you have a way of doing it, then take control of your food shop.

    Another thing you can do is go shopping with your mom and put stuff in the trolley that you want, I cannot imagine that she'll be against you getting veg and stuff? Veg is not expensive.

    Good luck, and let us know how you are. You are right, you are a grownup and it's really great that you are recognising something is wrong and thinking about doing something about it :) just don't give up.
  • Boogage
    Boogage Posts: 739 Member
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    Your stats sound great already but there's nothing wrong with wanting to exercise and eat healthily. Could you spend some of your own money on food like Hildy suggested or ask if you could use a portion of the family food budget for a few healthier foods you'd like. Your parents may be over weight but do they not buy fruit and veg that you could help yourself to? If not could you gently try to suggest the benefits of eating them? All foods can be enjoyed in moderation and sometimes just cooking things a little differently can make all the difference so grab your portion of chips before mom drops them in the fryer and stick them in the oven. What results are you hoping to get from diet and working out? As I said before, your stats sound fine. Maybe you just need to recomp to build some muscle, tighten and tone to give your body a decent shape. This would be a different plan to a regular diet.
  • TimElwis
    TimElwis Posts: 56
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    You're 20 years old so you're an adult. why can't you buy your own food, educate yourself about food, nutrition and fitness? I know it sounds harsh but i used every excuses under the sun not to loose weight and get fit =(.

    I now have a job, full time student and i make my own food every night. I even started a nutritional science course, I buy my own groceries and i am accountable for me. Since i made that change it doesn't matter what my parents do. They have tried to stop my fitness goals even now and i don't let them.

    You need to do this for you. And they may not help or support you at all. But it's okay that's why you have us!!! I even moved out until i was called back to help my parents. My dad had a stroke and my mother is a cancer survivor both in their 60s, so i'm over their house 3-4 nights per week cooking them food and getting them grocery's too. My dads lost 12 kgs since last year eating my food, he can now ride a bike which he's doing =).

    I think you need to worry about you and what you're doing to get to your goals. I think you also need to see a GP to make sure you don't have a ED. Once you've been cleared you can start your fitter, healthier life for you =) And we'll be here for you when you need support and advice.

    Couldn't have said it an better. You seem to blame your family but the problem is all you unless you're a paraplegic and they are force feeding you locked in a room. You don't have to eat what they serve. You don't have to do what they say and you don't have to listen to their bull. You're an adult. Change your life and if they don't want to help that's their loss.

    I know you probably didn't want to hear this, most teens would just look at it, read it and think.. psh wat ever.. And go back to square one but it's all true. you can change, you can eat better and you can get fit because you're a man and you can do what ever you want. You just have to do it and don't let anything get in the way.
  • jdad1
    jdad1 Posts: 1,899 Member
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    if your 5'11'' and 165 pounds eating is not your concern. Keep eating just like you are and hit the weights.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    Your parents are not going to change. I would move into my own place. Is there a reason you need to live at home? Are you a student and can't afford to move? When you have your own place, you can control your food and don't have to put up with being ordered around. Look for a job, find some roommates if you need to do that to lower the rent cost, and move out. College bulletin boards and local newspapers sometimes have roommate wanted ads.
  • Koma_Zd
    Koma_Zd Posts: 11 Member
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    Hey, I feel for you man, did you know you could eat anything that fit your macros (like junk food) and still lose weight. The only thing is that junk food is too calorie dense and you wont feel satied at all after only 2200kcal. My suggestion is to start at 3500kcal and slowly lower the calories if your progress stalls
  • blackcloud13
    blackcloud13 Posts: 654 Member
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    What kind of exercise are you doing - and do you have a target weight / bf%?
    I ask because 5'11" , 18% bf and 165lbs is actually pretty good -and if you are maintaining this eating 4, 000 calories, maybe all you need is to do some weights and a little cardio for fitness.
  • donthesitate
    donthesitate Posts: 255 Member
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    Im 18 and had to buy my own food bcuz family didnt support me, you do what you gotta do if its important enough to you
  • beachlover317
    beachlover317 Posts: 2,848 Member
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    Im 18 and had to buy my own food bcuz family didnt support me, you do what you gotta do if its important enough to you


    Bingo.
  • Brandonalex15
    Brandonalex15 Posts: 101 Member
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    yeah i hear you guys... i can buy my own food but its just the "temptation" . i have a serious disorder . i know its up to me and i have to control myself but i just cant... some of you guys dont understand ...,but for my other bingers out there you know how difficult it is to resist temptation . it is more my fault than my moms , i absolutley know that . but if she was really supportive she would just NOT by the foods that she usually does .. and not tell me that being fat and eating junk food is okay
  • FranceyPants
    FranceyPants Posts: 98 Member
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    yeah i hear you guys... i can buy my own food but its just the "temptation" . i have a serious disorder . i know its up to me and i have to control myself but i just cant... some of you guys dont understand ...,but for my other bingers out there you know how difficult it is to resist temptation . it is more my fault than my moms , i absolutley know that . but if she was really supportive she would just NOT by the foods that she usually does .. and not tell me that being fat and eating junk food is okay

    Hey! I used to binge eat too. It lasted for ages and I put on quite a bit of weight. This is what I did to try to fix my unhealthy eating habits:
    - Started to exercise regularly. At least 3 times a week but I got up to 5-6 times.
    - Started logging the calories of ALL the food I ate - it really opened my eyes to see how many calories I was consuming
    - Found things I could do to avoid eating food. My problem was I would always binge at night after a 'good' eating day. So I decided to shut myself in my room, stay AWAY from the kitchen, have a cup of tea and try to study/watch tv shows on my laptop/anything other than eat
    - I stopped buying the foods I binged on.

    It seems like your house will always be full of tempting foods. That really sucks.

    But if you eat bad food, just make sure you log how many calories it is, then try to stay within your daily number of calories. You're a big guy so you can probably eat quite a lot and still lose weight, especially if you are exercising.

    Once you get into the habit of trying to avoid excess food, it becomes a lot easier. Trust me, if I can do it, you can do it too.
  • Cheechos
    Cheechos Posts: 293
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    It honestly sounds like you have a skewed perception of yourself due to comparing your physical appearance to how your brother looks. Maybe you should talk to a therapist, since at 18% body fat you'd be in the average range for males. The things you say in your original post remind me of how people with body dysmorphic disorder see themselves.
  • FranceyPants
    FranceyPants Posts: 98 Member
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    It honestly sounds like you have a skewed perception of yourself due to comparing your physical appearance to how your brother looks. Maybe you should talk to a therapist, since at 18% body fat you'd be in the average range for males. The things you say in your original post remind me of how people with body dysmorphic disorder see themselves.

    I would definitely agree. You seem to be within a healthy weight range. You don't need to lose weight, but you probably want to stop binging on unhealthy foods.

    Seeing a therapist would be a great idea, especially considering how unsupportive your family seems to be. They can be super helpful when it comes to dealing with binge eating.
  • Brandonalex15
    Brandonalex15 Posts: 101 Member
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    It honestly sounds like you have a skewed perception of yourself due to comparing your physical appearance to how your brother looks. Maybe you should talk to a therapist, since at 18% body fat you'd be in the average range for males. The things you say in your original post remind me of how people with body dysmorphic disorder see themselves.
    my brother is 4 percent bf. i dont want to get thaaaat low. but oneee one day ... my dream is to have abs. ive been told by multiple personal trainers that to have the beach body abs that im looking for . i will need to get below 10% body fat .. 18 percent and 10 percent ?theres a hugeeeeeee difference . i may be "healthy" but my weight isnt attractive like i want it to be. lol . just because i want to lose a couple of pounds doesnt mean i have "body dysmorphic disorder " or nothing crazy like that. i just want to look a little better , theres nothing wrong with that AT ALL .
  • Madame_Goldbricker
    Madame_Goldbricker Posts: 1,625 Member
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    yeah i hear you guys... i can buy my own food but its just the "temptation" . i have a serious disorder . i know its up to me and i have to control myself but i just cant... some of you guys dont understand ...,but for my other bingers out there you know how difficult it is to resist temptation . it is more my fault than my moms , i absolutley know that . but if she was really supportive she would just NOT by the foods that she usually does .. and not tell me that being fat and eating junk food is okay

    I'm sorry but I don't really get what it is you are looking for? You live in a house with other people they are going to buy the foods that they want to eat. I can honestly empathise on the binge eating, but short of having no food in the house at all. If you go on a binge you are going to eat whatever is there. Okay, yes it might be healthier options but the calories will still rack up. I know it sounds harsh but you need to take some personal responsibility. As for your mums comments if that's her mind frame then you can't change that, but you can change the food you eat.
  • SLLRunner
    SLLRunner Posts: 12,942 Member
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    If you are 5 ft. 11 and 165 pounds you don't have a weight problem, you have a body image problem.

    Getting fit and buff and lowering your body fat percentage happens through weight lifting not through losing weight.

    Go join the gym and start lifting some weights and I bet you will get fit.

    Oh, and about the food and your mom not being supportive: you're a big boy. Go out and buy your own food and don't let her dictate what you can and cannot do.
  • Brandonalex15
    Brandonalex15 Posts: 101 Member
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    Getting fit and buff and lowering your body fat percentage happens through weight lifting not through losing weight.

    Go join the gym and start lifting some weights and I bet you will get fit.
    i lift 5 times a week so yeah
  • Cranquistador
    Cranquistador Posts: 39,744 Member
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    :noway:
  • wilmnoca
    wilmnoca Posts: 416 Member
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    It honestly sounds like you have a skewed perception of yourself due to comparing your physical appearance to how your brother looks. Maybe you should talk to a therapist, since at 18% body fat you'd be in the average range for males. The things you say in your original post remind me of how people with body dysmorphic disorder see themselves.
    my brother is 4 percent bf. i dont want to get thaaaat low. but oneee one day ... my dream is to have abs. ive been told by multiple personal trainers that to have the beach body abs that im looking for . i will need to get below 10% body fat .. 18 percent and 10 percent ?theres a hugeeeeeee difference . i may be "healthy" but my weight isnt attractive like i want it to be. lol . just because i want to lose a couple of pounds doesnt mean i have "body dysmorphic disorder " or nothing crazy like that. i just want to look a little better , theres nothing wrong with that AT ALL .
    If your "dream" is to have abs and a beach body, then you will get a job, buy your own HEALTHY food , prepare your own HEALTHY CLEAN meals and workout like everyone else. Kick your own *kitten* in a workout enough and binging on garbage won't be as appetizing. Time to grow up, take innitiative. If you don't, you didn't want it bad enough to begin with.

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